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Thoughts on number of partners?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just curious what people's views are on number of sexual partners, both their own, and their partners?
Do you keep count? Is it important or unimportant? Do you have a target, or a limit? Does matter how many your partner has been with, do you prefer they have high or low numbers?
I expect this community probably doesn't care about numbers much given the lifestyle, and that people's tallies will generally be a lot higher than considered "normal" in the vanilla world. But curious about it never the less?
I do actually keep count, and my count will be more modest than many here (I'm not sharing my number), I'll get into triple figures at some point (I doubt four figures but who knows), but I have no set target or limit, that's not important to me. I also couldn't care less about my partner's histories or aspirations.
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After reading your post, I sit down and actually counted them. I've got 29 sexual partners (and I am 36). I am really not sure if they are lots or few. My parents had only had each other all their lives, it seems a lot to me when I think to that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!"
That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work? |
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"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!
That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?"
It was, past tense, but I'm not bothered about it now, present tense. Sorry for any confusion!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!
That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?
It was, past tense, but I'm not bothered about it now, present tense. Sorry for any confusion! "
Ah OK that makes more sense! I'm clearly suffering Sunday brain! |
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"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!
That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?
It was, past tense, but I'm not bothered about it now, present tense. Sorry for any confusion!
Ah OK that makes more sense! I'm clearly suffering Sunday brain!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lost count a long time ago to start with it was kind off a kink for me to have as high a number is I could and somewhere along the way I lost count gb and threesome really do pump those numbers up and then that’s when you start to lose count |
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It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think... 
Jo.Xx |
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"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx "
In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental |
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"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx
In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental"
Sorry, I don't understand your question!
Jo.Xx |
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"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx
In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental
Sorry, I don't understand your question!
Jo.Xx "
In terms of not knowing what to think? Happy to let it drop though, if I read more into it than I should have |
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"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx
In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental
Sorry, I don't understand your question!
Jo.Xx
In terms of not knowing what to think? Happy to let it drop though, if I read more into it than I should have"
Oh I see.
No, what I mean is. Now I don't hold so much 'value' to sex. In that, it is just that 'Sex'!
It's not something I see as sacred as I used to. More it's a pleasure and as long as no one is being harmed and its all consentful then why shouldn't we indulge?
I hope that cleared it up. 
I'm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx "
Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?
K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.
How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??
Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.
KJ x |
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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago
Swindon |
I've always viewed the subject of how many lovers you have had a bit weird. There seems to be an element of snobbery and double standards that seems to be steeped in an antequited ideology and misogynistic religious values. When I have encountered people who are preoccupied with people's past sexual history, it normally comes from an emotion of deep insecurity . Sex is sex, it's part of our social well-being, why add superficial outdated constructs to it. Just enjoy the moment, whether that is a casual or long-term relationship.  |
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"Just curious what people's views are on number of sexual partners, both their own, and their partners?
Do you keep count? Is it important or unimportant? Do you have a target, or a limit? Does matter how many your partner has been with, do you prefer they have high or low numbers?
I expect this community probably doesn't care about numbers much given the lifestyle, and that people's tallies will generally be a lot higher than considered "normal" in the vanilla world. But curious about it never the less?
I do actually keep count, and my count will be more modest than many here (I'm not sharing my number), I'll get into triple figures at some point (I doubt four figures but who knows), but I have no set target or limit, that's not important to me. I also couldn't care less about my partner's histories or aspirations.
Xx"
Nowhere near enough.  |
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"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx
Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?
K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.
How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??
Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.
KJ x "
Yes, I have been with more women than Men. It's not a competition though.
I definitely had an old school upbringing where sex was sacred. Which is why I remained with 1 man. We are on a journey of sexual discovery so things are changing for us. We only started this 2 years ago and we've spent the last few months in lockdown like everyone else.
We have many plans though!
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always viewed the subject of how many lovers you have had a bit weird. There seems to be an element of snobbery and double standards that seems to be steeped in an antequited ideology and misogynistic religious values. When I have encountered people who are preoccupied with people's past sexual history, it normally comes from an emotion of deep insecurity . Sex is sex, it's part of our social well-being, why add superficial outdated constructs to it. Just enjoy the moment, whether that is a casual or long-term relationship. "
Exactly that, for me its all about the person and the connection we have. No one is an angel on here therefore why get hung up on it. Life is for living |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on 10 lovers.
Doesn't really matter how many people someone's had sex with when I'm seeing them. Fairly confident that everyone I've slept with have slept with more people that I have. |
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By *on12xxMan
over a year ago
manchester |
"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.lp
:
... Skype. Fun play now for quickie couples fems or maybe try a bi man. Message me
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx
Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?
K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.
How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??
Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.
KJ x
Yes, I have been with more women than Men. It's not a competition though.
I definitely had an old school upbringing where sex was sacred. Which is why I remained with 1 man. We are on a journey of sexual discovery so things are changing for us. We only started this 2 years ago and we've spent the last few months in lockdown like everyone else.
We have many plans though!
Jo.Xx "
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The majority of my friends don’t know what I do and I remember being pissed one night discussing this. A male friend who used to be a right shagger was shocked I’d slept with more people than him. I’m actually reluctant to ever disclose |
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I (Luke) don't keep track but I reckon it's somewhere between 20 and 30. My OH Hannah is more like single figures.
I am not worried about how many people a woman has been with. I'm much more interested in whether they make decisions on their love life according to what's right for them. Some want very low numbers, others just can't get enough. I really respect a woman for working out what she wants (or at least wants to try) and has the confidence to go for it rather than worrying about a norm imposed on them by society and/or the media. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a decent question.
My number is extremely low.
Infact I remember names it's that low.
I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.
I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...
Jo.Xx
Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?
K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.
How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??
Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.
KJ x
Yes, I have been with more women than Men. It's not a competition though.
I definitely had an old school upbringing where sex was sacred. Which is why I remained with 1 man. We are on a journey of sexual discovery so things are changing for us. We only started this 2 years ago and we've spent the last few months in lockdown like everyone else.
We have many plans though!
Jo.Xx "
Cool We wish you the best of sexy adventures once normality returns xxx
At the end of the day the only guarantee is this life we have now. When I am on my death bed I want no regrets and lots of horny memories x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always viewed the subject of how many lovers you have had a bit weird. There seems to be an element of snobbery and double standards that seems to be steeped in an antequited ideology and misogynistic religious values. When I have encountered people who are preoccupied with people's past sexual history, it normally comes from an emotion of deep insecurity . Sex is sex, it's part of our social well-being, why add superficial outdated constructs to it. Just enjoy the moment, whether that is a casual or long-term relationship. "
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a count of my own, I'd never ask someone I was with unless it became a serious long-term relationship thing and then I'd probably be curious about their history. |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
I don't really care. As long as everyone's consenting, having fun, sharing and spreading pleasure, being responsible about their (and their partner's) health... higher the better, if anything. It's kinda hot / a turn on knowing the woman has had it loads, loves it and can't get enough! So maybe that is caring? But maybe in the opposite way to what's "normal" or culturally "acceptable" in the wider, pubic (and double-standard) consciousness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had quite a few sexual partners, not in triple figures yet, probably not even close. I do like variety so I certainly could not be with just one person for the rest of my life, no matter how good a lover they'd be. I'd also much prefer my partner to be at least a bit experienced, don't really want to teach someone from scratch how to pleasure a woman. Unless it's another woman |
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I have been asked this question. I don't know the number, but I could work it out if I could be arsed. I have a name for everyone I've had sex with (though it may not be their real name!), so given pen and paper and an hour or so, I could come up with an answer.
The ex who asked the question was obsessed by his number. He had rules of what counted and what didn't. Just a blowjob? Doesn't count. Gay sex counted only if there was penetration. Sex with another woman didn't count for me unless a man was also involved.
He told me about this when we were lying in bed, and in his defence he didn't mind that I laughed until my ribs ached.
I think it stemmed from insecurity - he'd had very little luck with women in his 20s so he was keen to reassure himself that he was desirable in his 30s. To him, the number of partners he'd had gave him an absolute objective measure: 18 women found him desirable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't kept count but I could give an estimate, and I wouldn't want to know my partner's (I don't currently have one by the way). I'd rather enjoy the here and now, and our (imaginary) future together  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't care how many someone has had. As long as they've been safe then I put it all down to experience.
And experience is what makes is learn our tolerances, turn ons/offs and how to please those we are with |
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