FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > intimidating profiles
intimidating profiles
Jump to: Newest in thread
Yes most definitely. We used to get so many terrible messages from guys who did not fit our criteria.
We get very few now and that's partly down to many filters but also because people are put off by our profile.
We actually get messages from guys saying we must think we are superior or calling us fake because we are very picky and turn most guys down or because we haven't had a meet yet.
New profile set up while on lockdown and we wont be meeting for a little while yet still.
Out of the hundreds of messages we have received we only have 2 guys we hope to meet.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes most definitely. We used to get so many terrible messages from guys who did not fit our criteria.
We get very few now and that's partly down to many filters but also because people are put off by our profile.
We actually get messages from guys saying we must think we are superior or calling us fake because we are very picky and turn most guys down or because we haven't had a meet yet.
New profile set up while on lockdown and we wont be meeting for a little while yet still.
Out of the hundreds of messages we have received we only have 2 guys we hope to meet.
"
We get similar comments. Guys message us, regardless of the fact it being clear what we're looking for, and then we say thanks but no (albeit sometimes less politely than we could) and we get called arrogant.
We then get the other end of the spectrum where people message us and tell us they've got lockdown bodies and they hope we still like their pics. It's just a bit needy and that's off-putting.
We'll just carry on doing what we want and if people are intimidated that says more about them than it does about us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes most definitely. We used to get so many terrible messages from guys who did not fit our criteria.
We get very few now and that's partly down to many filters but also because people are put off by our profile.
We actually get messages from guys saying we must think we are superior or calling us fake because we are very picky and turn most guys down or because we haven't had a meet yet.
New profile set up while on lockdown and we wont be meeting for a little while yet still.
Out of the hundreds of messages we have received we only have 2 guys we hope to meet.
"
sounds similar to me... it gets quite demotivating at times  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i think lockdown hasn't really brought out the real chattiness in people as much as I hoped. "
It did a couple of months ago. I had a couple of good chat buddies on here. When it started opening up again they left. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please  "
Both for me. Shit profile and shit personality.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
We get similar comments. Guys message us, regardless of the fact it being clear what we're looking for, and then we say thanks but no (albeit sometimes less politely than we could) and we get called arrogant.
"
Haha we are sometimes not so polite if the messasge is lazy or clearly ignoring what we have asked for.
Funnily enough the 2 most recent accusations of arrogance we have had have been from guys we wrote very polite "no thank you's" to.
If a guy take the time to write us a decent message and includes pics we always take the time to write a polite response even if it's a no. We really appreciate the effort.
Apparently just saying no however polite is arrogant or a clear sign that we are a fake profile??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
We get similar comments. Guys message us, regardless of the fact it being clear what we're looking for, and then we say thanks but no (albeit sometimes less politely than we could) and we get called arrogant.
Haha we are sometimes not so polite if the messasge is lazy or clearly ignoring what we have asked for.
Funnily enough the 2 most recent accusations of arrogance we have had have been from guys we wrote very polite "no thank you's" to.
If a guy take the time to write us a decent message and includes pics we always take the time to write a polite response even if it's a no. We really appreciate the effort.
Apparently just saying no however polite is arrogant or a clear sign that we are a fake profile???"
Sounds like someone I spoke to the other day, rejected him and deleted his message prior to him asking me too (God knows why) and got called arrogant and I'd got my big knickers in a twist.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Sounds like someone I spoke to the other day, rejected him and deleted his message prior to him asking me too (God knows why) and got called arrogant and I'd got my big knickers in a twist. "
It's shocking how little effort guys on here are willing to make and how angry they get when they are rejected |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well I mean, there's a difference between politely stating what you're looking for and what you're not, and being one of those profiles where every sentence starts with "DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT MESSAGING US UF..."
To me it just comes across as rude and obnoxious and *typically* aren't the sort of people we'd get along with anyway.
That being said, I absolutely get why profiles like that exist - numpties who send hundreds of copy / paste messages a day without even looking at a profile hoping for a quick shag, but super aggressive profiles won't make a difference in that case anyway and it comes across as salty to those who are genuine in my personal opinion.
Write your profile for those who'll read it (or that you hope will read it in my case ), and block the piss-ants who don't bother. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please "
I do hope this isn't the case... I tend not to put much on my profile. But enough too hopefully attract the women I prefer. I often ask for feed back on my profile in the forums. So please if you check it out. Maybe hit me with a few tips. Always helps |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sounds like someone I spoke to the other day, rejected him and deleted his message prior to him asking me too (God knows why) and got called arrogant and I'd got my big knickers in a twist.
It's shocking how little effort guys on here are willing to make and how angry they get when they are rejected"
Never fails to blow my mind... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well I mean, there's a difference between politely stating what you're looking for and what you're not, and being one of those profiles where every sentence starts with "DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT MESSAGING US UF..."
To me it just comes across as rude and obnoxious and *typically* aren't the sort of people we'd get along with anyway.
"
This is very much our profile but what we are looking for is probably quiet different from you. We're not looking to make friends or for deep connections, just the right kind of guy to use for our needs.
If we we're looking for something more social and playful then yes our profile would need changing to attract the right kind of people.
Of the two guys we are speaking to and hope to meet we sent the first message to one. The likelihood is that this is probably how most meets will happen.
I guess our profile may be arrogant but its serves a purpose. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please "
Another one of your threads that has me thinking about things I'd never thought of...
I'm not sure what would really constitute an intimidating profile, although I suppose it's in the eye of the beholder.
I'm not really sure how our online persona comes across, although Mr is only one of us that posts in the forums, both reply to messages, so it may depend on your interaction with us as to who you are speaking with.
I hope we come off as nice anyways lol
God thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't say intimidating but many female and couple profiles are so specific about their demands, and so demanding about them, that I can't be bothered contacting them, even if I do meet their 'criteria'. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please
Both for me. Shit profile and shit personality. "
I'd say that statement demonstrates a great sense of humour |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have no idea why I don't get messages or replies to messages. I just guess it's what a single guy gets until someone takes a chance "
What seems quiet common is that single guys either have no meets and verifications or quite a few. Those guys with a few verifications tend to either have an exceptional look or a really great ability to compose a message. The latter of the two probably being the most important and it is also something very rare on here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Sounds like someone I spoke to the other day, rejected him and deleted his message prior to him asking me too (God knows why) and got called arrogant and I'd got my big knickers in a twist.
It's shocking how little effort guys on here are willing to make and how angry they get when they are rejected"
its the angry abusive responses I really don't understand. You can't fancy everyone and why should you. If a guy didn't find me attractive, why on earth I want to force them to believe otherwise. Just move on as this is a community, it be well known in time, if you're a sore loser. it's not an redeeming trait. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have no idea why I don't get messages or replies to messages. I just guess it's what a single guy gets until someone takes a chance
What seems quiet common is that single guys either have no meets and verifications or quite a few. Those guys with a few verifications tend to either have an exceptional look or a really great ability to compose a message. The latter of the two probably being the most important and it is also something very rare on here.
"
Then do you doubt their authenticity? A stunning man who can converse really well, been on fab over a year with no verifications...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People get bored reading our profile but we feel it answers a lot of the "shitty" questions, filters out the idiots and helps us decide who makes the cut by how people respond to it. Lots of verifications are very intimidating for us, people can be the loveliest on here but if they've got loads it instantly puts us off. Not for fear of them, but for fear we aren't anywhere near as experienced. If that makes sense? It does to me anyway lol xx
Her xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People get bored reading our profile but we feel it answers a lot of the "shitty" questions, filters out the idiots and helps us decide who makes the cut by how people respond to it. Lots of verifications are very intimidating for us, people can be the loveliest on here but if they've got loads it instantly puts us off. Not for fear of them, but for fear we aren't anywhere near as experienced. If that makes sense? It does to me anyway lol xx
Her xx"
Yes that makes a lot of sense. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Our profile is a joke from start to finish. We get less messages now than before the profile change. But there again, we don't really care.
Our primary goal is to have fun and, as mentioned by several people lately, people take this stuff far too seriously. It's just sex folks, just sex.
Some people on here have far too may demands: He must be athletic or she must be size 6 yadda yadda. Jump through this hoop, jumpo through that one. I want this, I want that.
Whatever your demands are, it doesn't matter, the fact is, you make them anyway. You pull out the old trope of "I can't fuck with people I don't fancy" and that is perfectly true. BUT, you miss out on 80% of the possibilities because you only think along the lines of physical attributes and superficial looks.
We, on the other hand, find personalities more attractive. Some of the best fucks we've had have been with couples, guys and women that are ordinary. Yes, theres that dangerous word .. ordinary. Nothing special physically, nothing special superficially but boy were they GREAT people with witty fun personalities and they were great fucks. Not porn star wannabes, not gymnastic with their positions and maybe not hung like a horse or tight as a glove but really nice people with ordinary bodies, ordinary faces and an ordinary sexual prowess.
We used to say that all the body facists can have themselves, we'll take whats left. There's far more ordinary people here on fabs than the sex gods you search for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Our profile is a joke from start to finish. We get less messages now than before the profile change. But there again, we don't really care.
Our primary goal is to have fun and, as mentioned by several people lately, people take this stuff far too seriously. It's just sex folks, just sex.
Some people on here have far too may demands: He must be athletic or she must be size 6 yadda yadda. Jump through this hoop, jumpo through that one. I want this, I want that.
Whatever your demands are, it doesn't matter, the fact is, you make them anyway. You pull out the old trope of "I can't fuck with people I don't fancy" and that is perfectly true. BUT, you miss out on 80% of the possibilities because you only think along the lines of physical attributes and superficial looks.
We, on the other hand, find personalities more attractive. Some of the best fucks we've had have been with couples, guys and women that are ordinary. Yes, theres that dangerous word .. ordinary. Nothing special physically, nothing special superficially but boy were they GREAT people with witty fun personalities and they were great fucks. Not porn star wannabes, not gymnastic with their positions and maybe not hung like a horse or tight as a glove but really nice people with ordinary bodies, ordinary faces and an ordinary sexual prowess.
We used to say that all the body facists can have themselves, we'll take whats left. There's far more ordinary people here on fabs than the sex gods you search for. "
Good post and definitely a valid viewpoint.
For us we are here for fantasy fulfilment, whilst we don't insist people look like models, attraction is vital. There has to be some banter and conversation, but we don't need to find out soul mates here just like minded people we find attractive.
We have been messaged by guys who try and talk their way around this, and explain its all about the mental connection. *Maybe for them it is... but not for us.
*I say "maybe" because it wasnt them detecting mental compatability from our profile that inspired them to message us.
Im pretty sure it was the pics of MrsHFC scantily clad that caught their eye, not her personality. (Not that she isn't wonderful of course!) so their message to us WAS because of a physical attraction.
That's a double standard lol.
I appreciate you aren't one of these guys, I'm just stating many do exist on fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Someone with "girthlover" in their username is pretty intimidating I think. But maybe it does work in discouraging the needledicks from messaging?"
You've misunderstood, Girth is just Jasmine's surname  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *addie85Woman
over a year ago
anywhere UK |
I've read a few of the profiles on here that say they get crap about their profiles and honestly, I find them informative/amusing.
When it comes to a guys profile, those who leave the profile blank are instantly dismissed in my head. I would hate to be a single man on here, but make a little effort to stand out. Those are the men I met.
Someone mentioned something about too many veris are a put off. I have had one (1) meet on fab and have 34 veris. It's the most annoying thing that I can't delete any of them! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've read a few of the profiles on here that say they get crap about their profiles and honestly, I find them informative/amusing.
When it comes to a guys profile, those who leave the profile blank are instantly dismissed in my head. I would hate to be a single man on here, but make a little effort to stand out. Those are the men I met.
Someone mentioned something about too many veris are a put off. I have had one (1) meet on fab and have 34 veris. It's the most annoying thing that I can't delete any of them!"
My profile isn’t blank ..
But it’s short and sarcastic..
I don’t take myself or this too seriously.,
And I do ok with my crappy profile..
Probably better than most guys, because I know how to chat with people..
Not come across as desperate and hardly ever mention sex until I’ve built up a rapport with people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please "
My experience is my online personality gets miss understood to how i am in person but at the same time i am socially awkward & struggle to chat to women so i probably come across as intimidating without realising & i probably look intimidating too lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know my profile is off putting to the masses and it’s actually quite nice not to get too many messages now. The only downside is the abuse when you politely decline because they are obviously looking for the opposite to me but think they can change my mind, just for them... id rather have an intimidating profile and reduce the amount of times I have to say no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
Off-putting may be, but don't see how anyone can actually be intimidated by a profile.
The very worst that can happen is deleted, a no thanks or a block - if people are intimidated by that then they best stay at home cuddling their favourite blankey  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes most definitely. We used to get so many terrible messages from guys who did not fit our criteria.
We get very few now and that's partly down to many filters but also because people are put off by our profile.
We actually get messages from guys saying we must think we are superior or calling us fake because we are very picky and turn most guys down or because we haven't had a meet yet.
New profile set up while on lockdown and we wont be meeting for a little while yet still.
Out of the hundreds of messages we have received we only have 2 guys we hope to meet.
sounds similar to me... it gets quite demotivating at times "
Out of curiosity what type of profile/ guy fits the bill for you
I'm Not judging or putting myself forward or anything like that, genuinely curious  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Off-putting may be, but don't see how anyone can actually be intimidated by a profile.
The very worst that can happen is deleted, a no thanks or a block - if people are intimidated by that then they best stay at home cuddling their favourite blankey "
Haha, love this! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
For us we are here for fantasy fulfilment, whilst we don't insist people look like models, attraction is vital. There has to be some banter and conversation, but we don't need to find out soul mates here just like minded people we find attractive.
We have been messaged by guys who try and talk their way around this, and explain its all about the mental connection. *Maybe for them it is... but not for us.
*I say "maybe" because it wasnt them detecting mental compatability from our profile that inspired them to message us.
Im pretty sure it was the pics of MrsHFC scantily clad that caught their eye, not her personality. (Not that she isn't wonderful of course!) so their message to us WAS because of a physical attraction.
That's a double standard lol.
I appreciate you aren't one of these guys, I'm just stating many do exist on fab. "
Attraction is absolutely vital. However, our criteria of "attractive" isn't as physical as maybe it was 10 years ago. I hadn't seen your pics before I sat to reply to your post and I can see what makes so many guys message you (or more precisely, her), however and it's a big HOWEVER, the best 'booty'' and 'toned athletic' body in the world would not turn us on if you had the personality of a pancake but for some on here, thats the only important factor - body and face. (I am NOT pointing a finger at you or even by association accusing you of that)
And that's the nub of our argument really. Great bods and good looks do NOT equal great bed mates - Ego's get in the way of good sex every time. The ability to laugh, to have fun, for you to be YOU and not what you think YOU should be are just as vital as physical and superficial attributes. In many ways I genuinely feel sorry for all you gorgeuous fit people and all the single ladies on here. They're not interested in you as people, just a notch on the bedpost to be able to say "I fucked that". While lust and sex is what we're all here for, to be reduced to 'fuckable meat' status must be disheartening at best. There is beauty to be found even in the most disfigured of faces and bodies but that beauty can only shine through the warmth and joy of their personality. We all have attractive attributes it's just that not all of the them are physical.
Good luck on fabs, I really mean it. I truely hope you find that you are looking for and fulfill all of your fantasies.
Peace and love xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
For us we are here for fantasy fulfilment, whilst we don't insist people look like models, attraction is vital. There has to be some banter and conversation, but we don't need to find out soul mates here just like minded people we find attractive.
We have been messaged by guys who try and talk their way around this, and explain its all about the mental connection. *Maybe for them it is... but not for us.
*I say "maybe" because it wasnt them detecting mental compatability from our profile that inspired them to message us.
Im pretty sure it was the pics of MrsHFC scantily clad that caught their eye, not her personality. (Not that she isn't wonderful of course!) so their message to us WAS because of a physical attraction.
That's a double standard lol.
I appreciate you aren't one of these guys, I'm just stating many do exist on fab.
Attraction is absolutely vital. However, our criteria of "attractive" isn't as physical as maybe it was 10 years ago. I hadn't seen your pics before I sat to reply to your post and I can see what makes so many guys message you (or more precisely, her), however and it's a big HOWEVER, the best 'booty'' and 'toned athletic' body in the world would not turn us on if you had the personality of a pancake but for some on here, thats the only important factor - body and face. (I am NOT pointing a finger at you or even by association accusing you of that)
And that's the nub of our argument really. Great bods and good looks do NOT equal great bed mates - Ego's get in the way of good sex every time. The ability to laugh, to have fun, for you to be YOU and not what you think YOU should be are just as vital as physical and superficial attributes. In many ways I genuinely feel sorry for all you gorgeuous fit people and all the single ladies on here. They're not interested in you as people, just a notch on the bedpost to be able to say "I fucked that". While lust and sex is what we're all here for, to be reduced to 'fuckable meat' status must be disheartening at best. There is beauty to be found even in the most disfigured of faces and bodies but that beauty can only shine through the warmth and joy of their personality. We all have attractive attributes it's just that not all of the them are physical.
Good luck on fabs, I really mean it. I truely hope you find that you are looking for and fulfill all of your fantasies.
Peace and love xx"
For me I need all 4 to fuck someone: personality, compatibility, face and body (including dick) hence one of the few reasons why I haven't met many people from Fab. I was hoping meeting people in clubs be easier than online. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
For me I need all 4 to fuck someone: personality, compatibility, face and body (including dick) hence one of the few reasons why I haven't met many people from Fab. I was hoping meeting people in clubs be easier than online. "
You do you. It's not something you should have to apologize for. Everyone on this site has people they wont meet for whatever reason. All meets are purely subjective, arbitrary and given the context, justifiable in their context. You either will or you wont.
If someone else has an issue with that, it's their problem, not yours. People can say no and they do not need to justify it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please "
Dunno I presumed it was because folks arnt interested |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
For me I need all 4 to fuck someone: personality, compatibility, face and body (including dick) hence one of the few reasons why I haven't met many people from Fab. I was hoping meeting people in clubs be easier than online.
You do you. It's not something you should have to apologize for. Everyone on this site has people they wont meet for whatever reason. All meets are purely subjective, arbitrary and given the context, justifiable in their context. You either will or you wont.
If someone else has an issue with that, it's their problem, not yours. People can say no and they do not need to justify it.
"
just amazes me how many people get so upset when being rejected. I been rejected loads but no need for abuse as its rude and bad karma. Wish people thought more outside the box instead of just their own egoes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please
Dunno I presumed it was because folks arnt interested"
You've got nice photos and you're both attractive. I'm sure that if you spruce up the profile text a little you'll get swamped.
For a lot of people it's about who you both are and what you want, not just what you look like. A photo only says so much. We could look at a picture of, well anyone, but it would not tell us who they are or what they want.
So, just work on the text a bit, describe who you are, what you want and I think you'll do just fine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please
Dunno I presumed it was because folks arnt interested
You've got nice photos and you're both attractive. I'm sure that if you spruce up the profile text a little you'll get swamped.
For a lot of people it's about who you both are and what you want, not just what you look like. A photo only says so much. We could look at a picture of, well anyone, but it would not tell us who they are or what they want.
So, just work on the text a bit, describe who you are, what you want and I think you'll do just fine."
thank you very new tbh.
Thus far we have been bombed with some outrageous messages of guts wishing to do horrific things to the missus. Not sure how,2hy or where it ever said that.
I shall however have a rethink .am crap at such things tbh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please "
A profile can never intimidate someone.... it’s like a menu posted outside a restaurant window... You read the menu then you can decide if you would like to try the food.... If nothing catches your fancy , you can find a different restaurant...... But the point is.... that restaurant you passed by will have great food for someone else.....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you think you get less messages because your profile looks intimidating? Or your online personality comes across intimidating? Thoughts and experiences please
A profile can never intimidate someone.... it’s like a menu posted outside a restaurant window... You read the menu then you can decide if you would like to try the food.... If nothing catches your fancy , you can find a different restaurant...... But the point is.... that restaurant you passed by will have great food for someone else.....
"
difference is there's a bouncer at the door. invite only restaurants |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
