FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Made to feel ashamed
Made to feel ashamed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So since I joined fab just over a year ago I have gained so much more confidence and self esteem. I was in a long term relationship from the age of 16 with the father of my children. When I was pregnant with our first he got into a fight and suffered a head injury and his personality changed. Over the years he got progressively worse. He used to emotionally abuse me. Say things like the kids had ruined my body and he had had the best of me etc. I finally left him 7 years ago. Then 2 years ago he attacked me for no reason. I prosecuted him and was granted a restraining order. Since then my life has improved massively. Then Sunday after a message came through to me on kik from an unknown person. Who sent me abusive messages saying I was working my way through the whole of dan and it was disgusting and how at my age I will never find anyone to settle down with because of the amount of men that’s been through me etc. This really knocked me. I of corse eventually blocked him on kik. I rarely use kik and I had not added him. Unfortunately I have no idea who he is on here either. I came on and hid my profile for a few days and was considering deleting because he actually made me feel ashamed of myself. Luckily I got chatting to a lovely guy last night and he was so complimentary that I told him what happened. He made me realise that not all men think this way.
Anyway sorry for rambling on but felt I wanted to get it off my chest    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op,
Fantastic body.
I'll do you a swap for mine 
Keep on going!
A lot of people with insecurities on here, including the abusive ones you've come across.
Think you'll find, the green eyed monster usually rides with the immature emotion, that's dug deep inside their heads!
The knack is to read, delete and move on!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op,
Fantastic body.
I'll do you a swap for mine
Keep on going!
A lot of people with insecurities on here, including the abusive ones you've come across.
Think you'll find, the green eyed monster usually rides with the immature emotion, that's dug deep inside their heads!
The knack is to read, delete and move on!
"
Awe thank you. Yes I rarely let stuff like that get to me on here. Think he caught me at a bad time when I was feeling lonely and needy lol |
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"Op,
Fantastic body.
I'll do you a swap for mine
Keep on going!
A lot of people with insecurities on here, including the abusive ones you've come across.
Think you'll find, the green eyed monster usually rides with the immature emotion, that's dug deep inside their heads!
The knack is to read, delete and move on!
"
Everything she said! ^^ |
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I would like to donate a pair of glasses to that man and wish him luck with finding such a body again. Just remember abusers with always be abusers and will always try having that hold on the abusee so show your strength and try laugh at him, remember yes you may of had men but hes had no interest off anyone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would like to donate a pair of glasses to that man and wish him luck with finding such a body again. Just remember abusers with always be abusers and will always try having that hold on the abusee so show your strength and try laugh at him, remember yes you may of had men but hes had no interest off anyone"
This is very true |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much.
You sound like a very strong woman, and you’ve got this!
Your body is amazing "
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger I guess. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP you are a strong intelligent woman who happens to be very attractive. You are doing nothing wrong in being on this site and seeking pleasure.
If the stalking carries on then you need to speak to the police and nip it in the bud. No one has the right to harass you or make you feel ill at ease. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP you are a strong intelligent woman who happens to be very attractive. You are doing nothing wrong in being on this site and seeking pleasure.
If the stalking carries on then you need to speak to the police and nip it in the bud. No one has the right to harass you or make you feel ill at ease."
Thank you. I blocked whoever he was on kik and have had no abuse off him on here. I don’t feel I will get any more hassle from him. Think whoever it was just was getting off on having a dig at me. He just caught me at an off day and made me second guess myself I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, the caller is probably jealous that he can't be with you. You look amazing. the comments they made to you show how small minded and sick they are. You not only look amazing but sound an amazing person person as well. Hope you can put it behind you and look forward to an amazing life ahead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello OP, Mr of the couple here.
Some people just get off on putting others down, when actually there’s nowt wrong with the individual, people just get nasty.
I came out of a long relationship (28yrs) an started dating, didn’t know how to take a compliment from a woman as it was something that was rarely experienced, I used to think, “are you taking the piss or what?” But eventually met the wonderful lady that fills my life now.
You look lovely an I’m sure you have the personality to match the look, don’t be ashamed of how or what you are, if others don’t like it then tell them to move along. Keep yer chin up, I’d happily chat to you if I ever met you in a club, whether that be on a social or play aspect.
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Dont let it get into your head. Abusers will try everything to mess your day up as much as they are messed up. You have a cracking arse so some might have just realised they cant get with that something good You sound like a strong woman, so get back on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My heart always saddens when I read stories like this. Bullying - whether it's in the playground, at work or online. Your story is another example of the huge effect just one cruel message can have.
I'm really pleased you have been able to move on from it. You look fabulous btw.
I sometimes see threads in here degenerate into nastyness and abuse. Hopefully your story might make a few people think twice before pressing the send button.
Good luck with fab - hopefully you will find someone / people that you're looking for who appreciate you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all for your kind words. I definitely won’t let it stop me. Just gave me a bit of a wobble on a bad day "
Hi...I had a read..and a look at you... anyone putting you down ...is a total retard..you are obviously a very sexy lady...and if I could privately chat...I would have been...lol..
As others have said...you ignore and block idiots.. they're only sad ppl anyway..
Take care and enjoy your life...it's yours to live how you want.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like jealousy to me. I know it’s hard but try to ignore him. Be wary of chatting to new profiles on here, just in case it’s him and enjoy your life. |
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OP be careful revealing too much of your personal life on this site. Remember men on this site are strangers and could use this information against you.
Take care and report the other guy to the Police.
x |
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I (Luke) think it's disgusting that anybody thinks they have any business telling you what is right or wrong in your love life. If you are not harming yourself or anybody else then it's nobody's business but yours and whoever you are intimate with. If it's all genuinely consensual then your love life is your business.
It doesn't matter if you want to have sex with one person for the rest of your life or several a week, several at the same time, a mixture of men and women, or anything else, and I don't know where you sit on that spectrum. How dare anybody make you feel ashamed for making a choice that's right for you? It sounds like he wants to control you and has established himself as a moral arbiter, which he has no authority to do.
He's the one who should feel ashamed. Don't ever let anybody make you feel ashamed if you are making choices that don't harm anybody. If you were harming somebody that would be a different matter but I doubt that's what he's suggesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck him!!! And by that i of course mean he can go fuck himself!
What a weak pathetic excuse of a man, do not let his disgusting messages affect you, he’s nothing to you.
Chin up gorgeous, just keep being you as you’ve suffered more than you should have had to already.
Big love xx |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"OP you are a strong intelligent woman who happens to be very attractive. You are doing nothing wrong in being on this site and seeking pleasure.
If the stalking carries on then you need to speak to the police and nip it in the bud. No one has the right to harass you or make you feel ill at ease."
Absolutely this. Make sure you keep messages etc and log everything in case you need it as evidence. Feel free to pm me if you need a chat hun. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I (Luke) think it's disgusting that anybody thinks they have any business telling you what is right or wrong in your love life. If you are not harming yourself or anybody else then it's nobody's business but yours and whoever you are intimate with. If it's all genuinely consensual then your love life is your business.
It doesn't matter if you want to have sex with one person for the rest of your life or several a week, several at the same time, a mixture of men and women, or anything else, and I don't know where you sit on that spectrum. How dare anybody make you feel ashamed for making a choice that's right for you? It sounds like he wants to control you and has established himself as a moral arbiter, which he has no authority to do.
He's the one who should feel ashamed. Don't ever let anybody make you feel ashamed if you are making choices that don't harm anybody. If you were harming somebody that would be a different matter but I doubt that's what he's suggesting. "
Awe thank you. Yes I did actually ask him what it mattered to him what I did until I thought stop trying to justify yourself and just block |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fuck him!!! And by that i of course mean he can go fuck himself!
What a weak pathetic excuse of a man, do not let his disgusting messages affect you, he’s nothing to you.
Chin up gorgeous, just keep being you as you’ve suffered more than you should have had to already.
Big love xx"
Awe thank you |
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Sadly there are people male and female out there who feel a need to degrade others ,but as has been said your lovely ,we all have wobbles and need a boost sometimes ,good for you leaving the abusive partner i too have lived with a head injury sufferer ,and it was a hard road but we came out the other side ,but its not always the case ,Head up and enjoy the good parts of this site .. |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
Just something I've observed time and time again over the years,
Some men can get nasty towards women when they're having no luck so to speak. They attack a woman's character to make them feel better about the fact that no woman wants to go near them.
I always found it odd that these nasty pieces of shit tend to call women things like sluts only when they get rejected. Of course the irony being that if she was indeed a 'slut', as they refer to women as, she wouldn't have said no in the first place and he wouldn't call her a 'slut'. Weird logic isn't it?
So OP, take some comfort in knowing that his insults weren't a personal attack on you, but more likely on women in general.
Men like him think they are entitled, and are sad and pissed off at a world that owes them nothing.
Head up OP. You're fantastic. |
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Both your ex and the Kik prick have no idea.
Sorry but I couldn't resist a peek at you profile and all I can say is that you have a beautiful body.
Don't listen to them. Enjoy making up for lost time.
By the way. Love yer bum |
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OP from one lady to another omg I wish I had your body you are self and beautiful please don't let this idiot get to you i know its easier said than done i have been there.
If you fancy a chat I'm here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So since I joined fab just over a year ago I have gained so much more confidence and self esteem. I was in a long term relationship from the age of 16 with the father of my children. When I was pregnant with our first he got into a fight and suffered a head injury and his personality changed. Over the years he got progressively worse. He used to emotionally abuse me. Say things like the kids had ruined my body and he had had the best of me etc. I finally left him 7 years ago. Then 2 years ago he attacked me for no reason. I prosecuted him and was granted a restraining order. Since then my life has improved massively. Then Sunday after a message came through to me on kik from an unknown person. Who sent me abusive messages saying I was working my way through the whole of dan and it was disgusting and how at my age I will never find anyone to settle down with because of the amount of men that’s been through me etc. This really knocked me. I of corse eventually blocked him on kik. I rarely use kik and I had not added him. Unfortunately I have no idea who he is on here either. I came on and hid my profile for a few days and was considering deleting because he actually made me feel ashamed of myself. Luckily I got chatting to a lovely guy last night and he was so complimentary that I told him what happened. He made me realise that not all men think this way.
Anyway sorry for rambling on but felt I wanted to get it off my chest "
OP ; just been reading your profile..... I’m so sorry that you went through that in the first place. You have some gorgeous pictures on here. I am sure that this site pulls together and helps others during some rotten times and will help you. It sounds like this lucky fella you were talking to is doing you the power of good.x
Stick at it sweetie xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you said further up the thread, you never ever need to justify yourself to anyone ever, especially some random weirdo that feels it's ok to have a go at you. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look lovely. People that hide behind faceless correspondence in my edperience are weak individuals, their anger is more at their own inadesquencies than anything else. Fuck them, theyre not worth it.
If i was younger and within tour age range id certainly send you flirty messages x |
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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago
Sussex/Surrey |
Sorry that’s happened to you, no one deserves to be abused in any way.
Just a suggestion but you could try blocking single men? Maybe also hiding your verifications? These two simple facilities the site offers might kept you from attracting the crazies and then you could be in control of who you interact with.
Don’t let it put you off enjoying yourself anyway and your pics look gorgeous. Good luck and sincerely hope it doesn’t happen again. Best wishes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pffft if I wanted to work my way through every penis owning body of the British isles, I would and wouldn't care. It's my body I'll do as I please with it, and if someone has a issue with the cars mileage, don't buy it. It's simple really. It's their problem not yours OP.
Chin up chicken |
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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago
North West, Outer Letterkenny area |
The fact is OP you are doing better in your life and in general, and being a woman exploring what you want sexually, nothing to be ashamed of physically or what you do in private. Unfortunately as I'm sure you are aware the side affect of a brain injury can be aggression and impulse control. All contributing to some very poor judgment and moral behaviour. But there are people that are just nasty too. I'm not defending any of the behaviour by the way, just hope you'll look at it and think there was never anything wrong with me and that may have been the brain trauma talking and just someone being nasty. Its horrible but not your fault and certainly not in anyway appropriate. Take care of yourself.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pffft if I wanted to work my way through every penis owning body of the British isles, I would and wouldn't care. It's my body I'll do as I please with it, and if someone has a issue with the cars mileage, don't buy it. It's simple really. It's their problem not yours OP.
Chin up chicken "
Ha ha oh I love that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pffft if I wanted to work my way through every penis owning body of the British isles, I would and wouldn't care. It's my body I'll do as I please with it, and if someone has a issue with the cars mileage, don't buy it. It's simple really. It's their problem not yours OP.
Chin up chicken "
Hello  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Words have the power to hurt so its natural to feel upset. Social media is so rife with bullies and keyboard warriers, and people get off on hurting others.
But at the end of the day, they must be the insecure ones, saying hurtful things to a stranger while cowardly staying anonymous.
Stay strong, ignore the haters, and I agree, great body! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So OP, take some comfort in knowing that his insults weren't a personal attack on you, but more likely on women in general."
I agree with everything you wrote but wanted to say that this makes it both better and worse: every bully&abuser takes off from where the previous left, and when faceless anon men pull out all the classics it is difficult not to get deeply upset&afraid, esp. when you have experienced violence in your past.
OP if living your life like you want it somehow makes you "damaged goods" for the kind of man who believes you should be his property, that's a great insurance policy! Glad to see you're over it. |
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Think we all really know that you’re probably one of the hottest women on fab, and that this person was jealous and frustrated. Sadly, I’d say a huge proportion of people on here are ready to kick others or act like twats.
You just keep on being you and never, ever let the fuckers get you down.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think we all really know that you’re probably one of the hottest women on fab, and that this person was jealous and frustrated. Sadly, I’d say a huge proportion of people on here are ready to kick others or act like twats.
You just keep on being you and never, ever let the fuckers get you down...."
Oh wow thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I have been perving on you since I rejoined a few months ago, and your input in the forum is always worth a read. Don't let one abusive prick spoil things for you. Do what you want and have fun, you're gorgeous |
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Keep going, be confident and enjoy who you are. People will love you for the person you are now, on here or anywhere else. One of the best phrases I've found recently is 'don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't ask advice from'. X |
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This story kinda reminds me of a friend of my mum's who had a similar issue... Husband had a seizure, fell over, serious head injury and became utterly horrendous, gradually over time. I was terrified by him as a child - he never even spoke to me but was an incredibly intimidating presence. |
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Well done OP!!!
No one should ever be made to feel ashamed of themselves you look great by the way and I’m not saying that just to make you feel good. I think you come through the worst and by the sound of your little rent is going up and up so good on you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP I have been perving on you since I rejoined a few months ago, and your input in the forum is always worth a read. Don't let one abusive prick spoil things for you. Do what you want and have fun, you're gorgeous "
Awe thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Keep going, be confident and enjoy who you are. People will love you for the person you are now, on here or anywhere else. One of the best phrases I've found recently is 'don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't ask advice from'. X"
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well done OP!!!
No one should ever be made to feel ashamed of themselves you look great by the way and I’m not saying that just to make you feel good. I think you come through the worst and by the sound of your little rent is going up and up so good on you "
Thank you |
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Whoever that guy is he needs to grow up and learn to mind his own business.
Personally I say you go girl. Go get yours! Sounds like you've been through a lot and deserve to have loads of great sex with people who appreciate your body and being in your bed. Tey not to let childish idiots get to you  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So since I joined fab just over a year ago I have gained so much more confidence and self esteem. I was in a long term relationship from the age of 16 with the father of my children. When I was pregnant with our first he got into a fight and suffered a head injury and his personality changed. Over the years he got progressively worse. He used to emotionally abuse me. Say things like the kids had ruined my body and he had had the best of me etc. I finally left him 7 years ago. Then 2 years ago he attacked me for no reason. I prosecuted him and was granted a restraining order. Since then my life has improved massively. Then Sunday after a message came through to me on kik from an unknown person. Who sent me abusive messages saying I was working my way through the whole of dan and it was disgusting and how at my age I will never find anyone to settle down with because of the amount of men that’s been through me etc. This really knocked me. I of corse eventually blocked him on kik. I rarely use kik and I had not added him. Unfortunately I have no idea who he is on here either. I came on and hid my profile for a few days and was considering deleting because he actually made me feel ashamed of myself. Luckily I got chatting to a lovely guy last night and he was so complimentary that I told him what happened. He made me realise that not all men think this way.
Anyway sorry for rambling on but felt I wanted to get it off my chest "
That's terrible the way he treated you x it's great to see you have got your confidence back after all that x i know a few girls like yourself who are in the same situation as you we're x hes a bully and knew exactly what he was doing to you. Mental cruelty. That's good you got away from him. Lucky escape x good luck to you and im sure that you find someone who treats you with respect x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whoever that guy is he needs to grow up and learn to mind his own business.
Personally I say you go girl. Go get yours! Sounds like you've been through a lot and deserve to have loads of great sex with people who appreciate your body and being in your bed. Tey not to let childish idiots get to you . "
Ha yes indeed I intend to  my confidence is well and truly restored thanks to all you beautiful people |
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