FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How to politely decline
How to politely decline
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, you’ve had a wee message with some one, you send a face pic, they like you. They send a face pic back and the attraction just isn’t there. How do you politely decline without being rude/nasty? |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
We have a set reply* along the lines of "thanks, we've got a long list of guys who meet our criteria so we're only really looking for couples and girls for Char right now, but we'll pop you in our saved folder for later". If they then badger us too much they get blocked.
* It's used so often that it types itself by repeated taps on the middle "word suggestion" on my phone!
Bry (and Char) |
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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Suffolk - East Anglia |
"We have a set reply* along the lines of "thanks, we've got a long list of guys who meet our criteria so we're only really looking for couples and girls for Char right now, but we'll pop you in our saved folder for later". If they then badger us too much they get blocked.
* It's used so often that it types itself by repeated taps on the middle "word suggestion" on my phone!
Bry (and Char)"
Sounds really good, (seriously good). You should be in the Diplomatic Corps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant  "
You must be pretty glad they weren't your type and found out so early what they're really like |
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*Don't reply.
*No Thank You.
*A few words.
*Long-winded explaination.
Had differing results for all of these. Never be offended by a bad response, after all just becasue someone writes doesn't mean you have to reply one way or the other.
If they respond badly then you chose the right response anyways.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a simple no thanks if they keep on or get nasty i block but if ive had a day when theres loads of messages i just delete as fab rules are no reply is no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We just say we're sorry, that there has to be attraction, it's just not there and wish them all the best.
We've rarely had a negative response to that bar one or two |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's a guy a mild form of back handed compliment... "sorry mate but you're a little too masculine for my taste"... if it's a lady it's almost certainly for the above reason (can't do a strong jawline ) in which case... I run away like a little coward...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a set reply* along the lines of "thanks, we've got a long list of guys who meet our criteria so we're only really looking for couples and girls for Char right now, but we'll pop you in our saved folder for later". If they then badger us too much they get blocked.
* It's used so often that it types itself by repeated taps on the middle "word suggestion" on my phone!
Bry (and Char)"
That is very good! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Be nice to get a polite reply declining most of the time. Glad to see some people do it.  "
Have been deleting at first message with some, but if you’ve swapped pics I think a reply is decent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant "
There’s always one! |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
I like to be told 'I/We want you so much it hurts but at the same time I/we feel totally pathetic in your shadow. Therefore I/we are now going to block you to save me/us from the pain. Take care sexy...love you forever xxx' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Wow, I do NOT find you attractive"
Yep, that works. If they can’t handle it. Then it’s the block button for them."
I definitely can’t be that direct, but it would certainly get the point across  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant
You must be pretty glad they weren't your type and found out so early what they're really like"
For sure, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to be told 'I/We want you so much it hurts but at the same time I/we feel totally pathetic in your shadow. Therefore I/we are now going to block you to save me/us from the pain. Take care sexy...love you forever xxx'"
Lolol might try that one  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
We have a disclaimer on our profile page, “only meet at clubs with nothing prearranged”.
If they are of interest we might advise when we are going to a club.
However, it still gives us a get out if there is no chemistry. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.
*block*"
Quite brilliant
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.
*block*"
Your brother is black too??  |
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"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.
*block*
Your brother is black too?? "
Why not? Not exactly the most believable to start with! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.
*block*"
I’m saving this one for future use! |
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"So, you’ve had a wee message with some one, you send a face pic, they like you. They send a face pic back and the attraction just isn’t there. How do you politely decline without being rude/nasty? "
Go round to their house and burn their car! |
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By *man013Man
over a year ago
Derby |
Just be honest say you're not for me. I've had to many people drag out conversations only to ghost or delete after a face pic and I'd sooner people were upfront as I can understand I'm not everyone's cuppa tea |
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"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.
*block*"
They might reply and say..I AM your brother!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just reply.
"I'm really sorry but you are not my type. It's not you, it's me. I wish you well on fab"
Yeah I proper cop out, with the whole it's not you it's me thing haha |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.
*block*
Your brother is black too??
Why not? Not exactly the most believable to start with! "
And he has a hunchback too?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP trust me. We are used to it. No hard feelings. Slide away and enjoy your browsing. There’s always a chance someone else will like my kind of ugly so it’s all good.
My personal pet peeve is when you have to ask for a face pic and then find not attractive. In my world of you instigate conversation a face pic in first message should be a given. |
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By *nique_78Woman
over a year ago
Home, somewhere in Norfolk |
"So, you’ve had a wee message with some one, you send a face pic, they like you. They send a face pic back and the attraction just isn’t there. How do you politely decline without being rude/nasty? "
In general I let the conversation dry out and they move on, I mostly look at profiles before conversation starts and say no thank you, happy fabbing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Christ people are actually like this, if you cant deal with rejection you shouldnt be on fab, people have different tastes and wants, a polite but firm rejection is much more polite than ghosting a just a ban take it on the chin and move on, plenty more options are available, hell that's why fab exists |
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A simple no is fine. We're all adults here and can take the rejection without a detailed justification.
It's much worse to be too polite to say no, as it raises expectations and the impression you're still interested. If you've exchanged messages, best to be honest and upfront about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Christ people are actually like this, if you cant deal with rejection you shouldnt be on fab, people have different tastes and wants, a polite but firm rejection is much more polite than ghosting a just a ban take it on the chin and move on, plenty more options are available, hell that's why fab exists "
Unfortunately, enough men take rejection poorly that most women have learned to try and let down their fragile egos gently rather than deal with the abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Christ people are actually like this, if you cant deal with rejection you shouldnt be on fab, people have different tastes and wants, a polite but firm rejection is much more polite than ghosting a just a ban take it on the chin and move on, plenty more options are available, hell that's why fab exists
Unfortunately, enough men take rejection poorly that most women have learned to try and let down their fragile egos gently rather than deal with the abuse."
Boys not men, sad really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just say it straight up.
“Sorry lovely, you’re not my type. Happy fabbing!”
Or words to that effect.
Only had a couple of guys be dicks about it and I just blocked them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not that it happens much as I don’t get that many offers, but generally ‘sorry, but I don’t think you’re what I’m looking for. Flattered that you contacted me though, take care, hope you find’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We simple replt "It's a polite no thanks'.
Unless we get a message from chancers, mainly single males who can't be bothered to read our profile first, they just oggle our pics and then it's a simple block, a dozen a day is not unusual. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant "
To which I reply "why contact me then?" and either ignore or block future messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We say, you look like a lovely couple/person however not what we're looking for unfortunately, something along them lines then finish it off with "happy fabbing"
Her x |
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We always reply because we feel it’s just good manners and just say thank you but not what we’re looking for and wish them happy fabbing. We do, however, find that people who don’t like our pics just blank us!
Not really sure what approach is kindest tbf.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our faces are on the profile so we wouldn’t send one. When people send us theirs we are just honest and polite. Sorry you aren’t our type. Happy fabbing.
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are zillions of threads on here where men insist that they should have a polite decline and that this would make them infinitely happier than their message being deleted... So that is what I write back,a simple "polite decline", all 2 words of it.... |
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By *uzboxCouple
over a year ago
Northwich |
Quite frankly we are past the point of "politely" declining. So fed up of getting messages from people who still think it ok to meet! I think we will just start replying back with equal contempt for them as they must have for us. |
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