FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Introducing someone to the scene
Introducing someone to the scene
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So I've started to see this really hot girl. Sex is great and she is open to a lot in the bedroom. I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with. So I want the best of both worlds. I want to introduce her to this scene. I've always played alone but I think it would be great to have a partner in crime. The added bonus for her is she gets to fuck more than just one guy too. So does anyone have any suggestions on how I can bring this topic up to her and ensure she doesn't run a mile?? |
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" I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with. "
Surely for your girlfriend's safety you should tell her that you are having sex with other women. |
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" I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with.
Surely for your girlfriend's safety you should tell her that you are having sex with other women. "
I always play safe with other women. Also if I had to choose between going fully official with her and staying on the scene I would stay on the scene. I can fufill a lot more of my fantasies on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Might have been an idea to tell her you were in the lifestyle before you started seeing her regularly...let her make her own mind up?!
Trust goes a long way
Just my two cents of course |
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" I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with.
Surely for your girlfriend's safety you should tell her that you are having sex with other women.
I always play safe with other women. Also if I had to choose between going fully official with her and staying on the scene I would stay on the scene. I can fufill a lot more of my fantasies on here."
You have nothing to lose by just straight out telling her the kind of relationship you want |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Try something like this:
‘I haven’t mentioned it yet but I’m a swinger, you’re important to me and it’s an important part of my life that I’d like you to share with me. Here’s my profile on Fab swingers, I’d like us to look at it together so we can have a conversation about why I’m on there, and why I’d like to share this aspect of my lifestyle with you.’
Simple. |
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Not seen anyone but her during lockdown. I would like to say as well that this girl is not my girl friend more a regular fuck buddy. Neither of us want a committed relationship. I just don't know if this scene mat be a bit too much for her |
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"Try something like this:
‘I haven’t mentioned it yet but I’m a swinger, you’re important to me and it’s an important part of my life that I’d like you to share with me. Here’s my profile on Fab swingers, I’d like us to look at it together so we can have a conversation about why I’m on there, and why I’d like to share this aspect of my lifestyle with you.’
Simple."
Thank you sounds easy enough. I guess I don't have much too lose |
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"Not seen anyone but her during lockdown. I would like to say as well that this girl is not my girl friend more a regular fuck buddy. Neither of us want a committed relationship. I just don't know if this scene mat be a bit too much for her "
How else are you going to find out if you don't ask her? You're not hedging your bets are you because she's your only source of sex at the moment? If she sees your relationship as not committed I can't see any problem with you just be straight with her. |
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If you want a longer term relationship with someone but want to stay in the scene you have 2 choices.
Firstly be open and honest at the earliest opportunity because it would be difficult to explain that you have continued to swing behind her back at a later stage. As you seemto want to couple up then this would seem to be the logical approach.
Or
Secondly, you could keep it to yourself and hope she doesn't find out with all the moral and emotional baggage that comes with that. Some do this but it really depends on you. |
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I'd recommend talking about the type of relationship that she would like, whether monogamous or not, as the starting point. She may only be interested in a fb, with minimal involvement anyway, so it's going to start with her and her needs. Options for how you then develop or continue the relationship are then dependent on these starting points. Honesty is obviously good, though sometimes it takes a while for people to realise what they are looking for and how a partner may or may not be compatible with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with.
Surely for your girlfriend's safety you should tell her that you are having sex with other women.
I always play safe with other women. Also if I had to choose between going fully official with her and staying on the scene I would stay on the scene. I can fufill a lot more of my fantasies on here."
Bear in mind that if you are going to be on the scene as a couple, even if you’re not in a committed relationship, then it’s not going to be just about you. Will you be willing to fulfil her fantasies, or are you leaning more towards you being able to fulfil your fantasies if you have a partner on the scene?
Although you may not be in a committed relationship and are just FWB’s , there’s got to be mutual respect for each others feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've started to see this really hot girl. Sex is great and she is open to a lot in the bedroom. I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with. So I want the best of both worlds. I want to introduce her to this scene. I've always played alone but I think it would be great to have a partner in crime. The added bonus for her is she gets to fuck more than just one guy too. So does anyone have any suggestions on how I can bring this topic up to her and ensure she doesn't run a mile??"
You could try discussing it... |
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" I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with.
Surely for your girlfriend's safety you should tell her that you are having sex with other women.
I always play safe with other women. Also if I had to choose between going fully official with her and staying on the scene I would stay on the scene. I can fufill a lot more of my fantasies on here.
Bear in mind that if you are going to be on the scene as a couple, even if you’re not in a committed relationship, then it’s not going to be just about you. Will you be willing to fulfil her fantasies, or are you leaning more towards you being able to fulfil your fantasies if you have a partner on the scene?
Although you may not be in a committed relationship and are just FWB’s , there’s got to be mutual respect for each others feelings."
I am also wanting her to fulfill her fantasies too I get that it would have to be a bit of give and take.
My concern is she may think I'm not into it at all and I guess that will mean the end of us two sleeping together which would be a shame |
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" I however have no intention of ditching this life style and I always enjoy having multiple women I have sex with.
Surely for your girlfriend's safety you should tell her that you are having sex with other women.
I always play safe with other women. Also if I had to choose between going fully official with her and staying on the scene I would stay on the scene. I can fufill a lot more of my fantasies on here.
Bear in mind that if you are going to be on the scene as a couple, even if you’re not in a committed relationship, then it’s not going to be just about you. Will you be willing to fulfil her fantasies, or are you leaning more towards you being able to fulfil your fantasies if you have a partner on the scene?
Although you may not be in a committed relationship and are just FWB’s , there’s got to be mutual respect for each others feelings.
I am also wanting her to fulfill her fantasies too I get that it would have to be a bit of give and take.
My concern is she may think I'm not into it at all and I guess that will mean the end of us two sleeping together which would be a shame "
well that's what you need to weigh up. In general though I would say that if you don't know someone well enough to have a good idea of what their reaction would be to you saying you want to swing your relationship isn't at a stage where you should be swinging |
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I don’t understand people who aren’t honest about being in this lifestyle..
I know a lot of guys just see this as a way of getting sex..
Swinging is so much more ..
Some people when you tell them are shocked and simply don’t understand..
But some are intrigued..
Be honest from the very start .. |
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"I don’t understand people who aren’t honest about being in this lifestyle..
I know a lot of guys just see this as a way of getting sex..
Swinging is so much more ..
Some people when you tell them are shocked and simply don’t understand..
But some are intrigued..
Be honest from the very start .."
It may be more for you and many. But for many it is a site for sex. Each to their own mate |
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What about watching swingers TV programs together, like the BBC's Wanderlust or there's a Channel 4 one. It would be pretty easy to start talking about whether she has ever thought of anything like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being open and honest and be prepared she might not like the idea and will ask you to stop.
You need to figure out which is most important your lady or the lifestyle.
If I had to choose it would be my lady over the lifestyle.
Patience goes along way too. I speak from experience as I wanted to introduce my girl to nudism I explained it was a big part of my life. She responded by saying what I did when single was up to me but I'm with her now so in other words I was given an ultimatum. I packed nudism up but reserved it for home only. Months after she started to ask questions and became more curious. After giving it a go just the two of us she wanted to try a club the rest is now history. |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"Might have been an idea to tell her you were in the lifestyle before you started seeing her regularly...let her make her own mind up?!
Trust goes a long way"
+1
My suggestion is, in future, disclose up front before becoming sexually involved with any women that you are in the LS and are not offering (or asking for) exclusivity. That will avoid any hurt feelings, broken hearts, wasting each orhers time, etc.
Know what you want, what you're looking for, and be honest and upfront about it in order to meet/attract those who want/are looking for the same thing. Boom. |
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"Try something like this:
‘I haven’t mentioned it yet but I’m a swinger, you’re important to me and it’s an important part of my life that I’d like you to share with me. Here’s my profile on Fab swingers, I’d like us to look at it together so we can have a conversation about why I’m on there, and why I’d like to share this aspect of my lifestyle with you.’
Simple."
This  |
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"Try something like this:
‘I haven’t mentioned it yet but I’m a swinger, you’re important to me and it’s an important part of my life that I’d like you to share with me. Here’s my profile on Fab swingers, I’d like us to look at it together so we can have a conversation about why I’m on there, and why I’d like to share this aspect of my lifestyle with you.’
Simple.
This "
Agree also this |
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Start upmarket.
I took Jayne to my favourite club as part of a weekend away together. (Acanthus in Belgium, I'd been there several times with a previous partner)
I just told her to prepare herself for a very sexy evening and to pack one or two of her favourite sexy outfits.
I'm not sure when she realised what sort of club we were walking in to - but once on the dance floor she was checking out the other couples in their outfits and after a couple of G&Ts and a couple of glasses of wine with dinner we went upstairs into the changing rooms and dressed up (down?) for the rest of the evening.
I made it really clear that she was perfectly free to decide to head back to our hotel at any time and that if all she wanted to do was watch / be watched, that was fine.
We're about nine or ten visits to various clubs into our adventure.
Good luck with yours.
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