FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Lessons on rejection
Lessons on rejection
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find if I simply say Thank you however I’m not interested... I get a message after saying Thank you for at least Responding at all .. good luck to you !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
It is very obvious that some ignorant people exist in life..even on this site.. |
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
I have learnt to BLOCK , that way if I come across them again I’ll know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just been un friended by a lady, we'd chatted regularly,got on really well & I thought I had a good on line relationship with her. I'd helped her through a major emotional crisis.
Messaged her to ask why ? Message deleted with no reply. Feeling like I've been used & cast aside. Suppose I'm lucky she didn't block me as well. |
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I came to fab because I felt rejected in normal life. Hoping for an ego boost I got the opposite. A lot of rejection and I very nearly left because of it. However, at no point did I feel the need to be rude about it. It’s not someone else’s fault if they are not keen! People who can’t take rejection have a narcissistic tendency and that’s so ugly! I stayed here, sucked up a dose of realism and made some excellent friends and read some good stories instead |
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Don’t be too ‘precious’ , and you do need to have a ‘thick skin’ sometimes . Accept we all have different ‘tastes’ ......and sometimes standards ! .
We find the ‘block’ button is best if pleasantness doesn’t work !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We learnt that instead of telling people we're not interested it's easier to just block them. We blocked guys about 3 years ago and that made fab easier and quieter  |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Never considered it as rejection just a difference of opinion; in my opinion, that person would be great to meet; in their opinion I wouldn't be great to meet... We're all entitled to our opinions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable "
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance. |
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance."
A lot of men (no offence) join the site thinking its instashag and that all women should drop their knickers when they say so.....they then can't handle it when told no!
And just to balance it out, I bet there are some women too who think the same re the men.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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block and move on ...no second chance's once on block list they stay there forever im not here for people to be rude or nasty .... block list is massive but very rare i get an abusive message now as they are all mostly blocked ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"block and move on ...no second chance's once on block list they stay there forever im not here for people to be rude or nasty .... block list is massive but very rare i get an abusive message now as they are all mostly blocked ... "
oh and dont think its just men many nasty women and couples on here too |
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I received a polite ‘Sorry, not for me x’ but that’s fine.
Straight away blocked, which was a shame because I wanted to say thank you for letting me know, but I perfectly understand why it happens |
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance."
Haha very true. What I meant by that was that an attractive lady is going to get hundreds of offers every day, a guy will rarely get approached for a number of reasons including the massive skew in numbers, so it’s understandable that the experiences will be very different.
But you make a good point
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance.
A lot of men (no offence) join the site thinking its instashag and that all women should drop their knickers when they say so.....they then can't handle it when told no!
And just to balance it out, I bet there are some women too who think the same re the men...."
This is true and it’s reflective of other parts of life too. Men are much more likely to have a pint at a job application they know they don’t meet essential criteria for etc, but that’s a whole different thread for a different site!
But as you say, it’s a spectrum and men and women both populate all parts of it, it’s just perhaps more characteristic in men |
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You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, as soon as you accept this and accept yourself for what you are the easier it gets.
It’s very much like food... I like steak, in fact I love it - but at times i want a sirloin instead of rib eye... same for fab. |
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"I received a polite ‘Sorry, not for me x’ but that’s fine.
Straight away blocked, which was a shame because I wanted to say thank you for letting me know, but I perfectly understand why it happens "
we say thanks but not for us, i wouldnt block unless they kept messaging or became abusive. no harm in being polite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The vast majority of messages I send don't get read. A small amount do get read and, in some cases lead to a profile view. Occasionally I'll get a polite "Hey, thanks for your nice message but not for me, thank you" type reply. I usually thank them for their time and courtesy, and move on.
I've never sent a bitchy response, and I've never had a rude rejection either. Maybe I'm lucky?
I find the very few messages that lead somewhere make the toil of rejection worthwhile. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance.
A lot of men (no offence) join the site thinking its instashag and that all women should drop their knickers when they say so.....they then can't handle it when told no!
And just to balance it out, I bet there are some women too who think the same re the men...."
Just to balance things out further, there are also a lot of entitled couples too. |
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
Rejection gets easier with experience but there's no excuse for other users' bad manners. You can always console yourself with the knowledge that it's their loss. |
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance."
Can't find a crack in the pavement that's big enough. You must mean a pothole? |
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
How incredibly rude! You would think that if someone has considered getting intimate with you, they would at least have the respect to depart in good grace if it does not happen. |
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab."
Asking for trouble!
Everybody gets rejected in life somewhere along the line, it is how you react that sorts the men from the boys.
The more risks you take, the more likely you will be rejected..Some play ultra safe and rejection is less likely.
I have been rejected a lot but I have also rejected many..
Boys keep swinging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab."
You've also blocked all men, so imagine that makes inbox easier to manage too. However I can see why you don't get rejected  x |
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"I don't get rejected. Only get offers on fab.
Understandable
It's easier for females right ? As some men would stick their willy in a crack in a pavement given a chance.
A lot of men (no offence) join the site thinking its instashag and that all women should drop their knickers when they say so.....they then can't handle it when told no!
And just to balance it out, I bet there are some women too who think the same re the men...."
I have to have a little internal chuckle to myself about this. So many many women post that they are insatiable mucky buggers that want to be banged to hell and back. When you send a hello message. It’s like talking into a complete void lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lets be honest....most* of the guys here are sad losers.... who just want anything to fuck because they can't get elsewhere and if offered probably wouldn't have the balls to show up anyway, so dont let it bother you...see it as a bullet dodged
*most.... doesnt mean all! |
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"Lets be honest....most* of the guys here are sad losers.... who just want anything to fuck because they can't get elsewhere and if offered probably wouldn't have the balls to show up anyway, so dont let it bother you...see it as a bullet dodged
Can't get elsewhere...Are you suggesting this is the end of the line, when all else fails try fabswingers..
Is it not the case that all hook up sites attract exactly what you would expect?
*most.... doesnt mean all! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
How not bothered I am about it..
No massive ego here! |
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More than likely in the days before he internet they'd be the ones still propping up the bar at the end of the night when the slow dances were played because they couldn't get one....
Just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you get instant meets with folk that take your fancy.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We ask people if they've read our profile as they aren't what we're looking for and it's very clear from their message/profile that we don't match. Then they suddenly switch, become aggressive and say we're arrogant.
If we're that arrogant why were you interested 2 minutes ago 
Block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been un friended by a lady, we'd chatted regularly,got on really well & I thought I had a good on line relationship with her. I'd helped her through a major emotional crisis.
Messaged her to ask why ? Message deleted with no reply. Feeling like I've been used & cast aside. Suppose I'm lucky she didn't block me as well. "
Not going to waste my time on people who throw my friendly caring nature back in my face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ask people if they've read our profile as they aren't what we're looking for and it's very clear from their message/profile that we don't match. Then they suddenly switch, become aggressive and say we're arrogant.
If we're that arrogant why were you interested 2 minutes ago
Block and move on. "
I think your profile is straight. Like it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
That some people really don't understand that no means no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection of people can cause real problems, we’ve had a few problems with people we’ve rejected and they’ve turned nasty, we guess we made the correct initial decision. You get to learn a lot about people in how they treat you once you won’t play with them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if someone takes the time to send an thanks but no thanks’ message they deserve a positive polite reply.
After all manners cost nothing even on here |
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All credit to the guy I turned down yesterday, my profile states I find body hair unattractive, so I answered his message by stating the fact (he had a beard) and it was on my profile (a bit of a telling off).
He replied kindly, rather than getting nasty like some.
The worst I got was telling me I looked like a pig  I wanted to reply and ask him about his fetish of farmyard animals, but he blocked me, so I reported him 1-0 to me |
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"Never considered it as rejection just a difference of opinion; in my opinion, that person would be great to meet; in their opinion I wouldn't be great to meet... We're all entitled to our opinions."
This seems a very sensible attitude to me. But I can also understand that behind whatever image of ourselves we present here, underneath we’re all vulnerable and have insecurities, so it’s not always that simple. There are probably very few ways to say, ‘Thanks, you have revealed your attraction to me but sorry I’m not attracted to you’ without it being a bit of a downer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone actually responds to my message(which is rare) with a no thanks or not for us I thank them for their honest reply and wish them luck manners cost nothing no point in being arsey,but I've also had replies telling me to to f**k off you cheating c**t your married! none have asked why i'm one here, as some have said some right rude and entitled twats on here. I just ignor and move on. |
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There is a certain man from Lincoln that does this, without giving us time to reply with our usual a polite no thanks or other, if you don't reply quickly he sends abusive message then blocks so you can't reply back, has done this to many couples.
As above we laughed and moved on as no matter where you go there are plenty idiots about  |
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By *eo_72Man
over a year ago
Mansfield |
I get rejected all the time it’s normally my message being straight deleted. I don't expect a sorry your not for me/us. But It does get a bit disheartening but I always think well it’s there loss if you can’t be arsed to get to know the real me |
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I do worry about how much being on the site can damage mental health. You have to be pretty robust to accept a high percentage of people you say hello to won't say hello back. Being abusive is a way of denigrating the person(s) they messaged in order to stop the rejection impacting them. "I wouldn't sick you any way", etc, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i reject someone I'm polite and would like it to be the same if im being rejected...never had any body be overly rude.. Did have a reply of "eewww bad grammar" and an instant block once haha.. Us dyslexics must piss off alott off people haha |
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"If i reject someone I'm polite and would like it to be the same if im being rejected...never had any body be overly rude.. Did have a reply of "eewww bad grammar" and an instant block once haha.. Us dyslexics must piss off alott off people haha "
Total under stand that one got roasted for using using the wrong there. I rise above  |
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"I do worry about how much being on the site can damage mental health. You have to be pretty robust to accept a high percentage of people you say hello to won't say hello back. Being abusive is a way of denigrating the person(s) they messaged in order to stop the rejection impacting them. "I wouldn't sick you any way", etc, etc. "
This might be the sexual equivalent of going out for a non-sexual walk in the countryside, and smiling & saying ‘hello’ to people as you pass them.
99% of them reciprocate in kind.
The odd one who stares straight ahead and ignores my pleasantness I think ‘Bollocks then!’
I’m not sure how this comment reflects on me though... |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
It's best to ignore then to reject for this very reason! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was funny how one minute i was a Goddess but after rejection i was a wrinkled old tart. Good job i have thick skin"
Your profile is lovely and would love to meet you in CJs whenever I get a chance to revisit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us dyslexics must piss off alott off people haha "
On the upside, you can save money buying spaghetti hoops rather than alphabeti spaghetti but have the same fun at meal times! |
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Id rather be someone's shot of whisky than everybody's cup of tea anyway lol
Rejection is par for the course but we are never rude, there is just no need.
We are all here for the fun of it, we try to keep it light x |
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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago
Swindon |
Some people have an overwhelming scence of entitlement because they are on a sex site. The ones who get upset and throw their toys out of the pram and have a little hizzy fit because their ego has been dented usually don't stay on the site long. Their just Manchilds and probably don't know how to play nicely in the real world ether. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
Yeah been here before, received a message back saying “I’ve fucked loads of fit birds, fitter than you so fuck off” off some guy with a bad attitude. Doubtful based on his attitude, unless some people like dick heads lol. |
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I had another this morning, it would appear I was a timewaster as I read his message and didn’t reply.
He’d sent a picture I found him to be unattractive and not my type at all, now I wished I had replied a little more graphically why I’m not interested |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
I would much rather be swiftly and quickly rejected by a MF couple who seem to not like my profile and my pics.
I can also forive it if that self-same couple meet me face to face and find me attractive (I've been told it happens, in conversations with MF couples on another thread).
What I find extremely difficult to forgive or forget is being wilfully led on and then rejected; but even in those circumstances I have never lost my civility and I haven't resorted to name-calling because there's no point. It wouldn't have made me more appealing or likeable. |
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I usually get asked why not or they try to come up with a reason why I’m wrong so most of the time I don’t even reply.
Either that or I get called a fat ugly bitch that doesn’t deserve them.
When I send messages I delete the sent folder so I don’t worry about it and forget who I’ve messaged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly like most have said, develop a thick skin and brush the negativity off.
I once had a guy try telling me upon being rejected, that what I considered my type was me punching above my weight and I should have been grateful for his message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
I have never been rejected on here but my profile has about 20 times a day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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T’internet can be a vile place; one despairs at times. Still, as another poster has commented, just content yourself with the knowledge that the ones who are being nasty are the ones not getting any! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab?
I have never been rejected on here but my profile has about 20 times a day "
Wow, I need to get me some more rejections  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
Im rejected all the time im use to it now i just take it with a pinch of salt |
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Rejection is a way of life for the single guy on fabs. For me, I try & look on the bright side. If I'm rejected then it means they've at least read the message. That's a result in itself. Despite this, I'm never rude to people. Just learn to accept you can't be all things to all people. |
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When will men learn that a women has the pussy so they make the rules it’s there body and they chose who gets access to it if guys don’t like that they won’t get far on any swinger site just use respect and be clean and don’t be a arrogant prick
The line Wanna a fuck never works and never will
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When will men learn that a women has the pussy so they make the rules it’s there body and they chose who gets access to it if guys don’t like that they won’t get far on any swinger site just use respect and be clean and don’t be a arrogant prick
The line Wanna a fuck never works and never will
"
When people stop telling us that we're all special and everyone is equal.
Reality is a kick in the balls for most men when they go out into the real world. |
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"When will men learn that a women has the pussy so they make the rules it’s there body and they chose who gets access to it if guys don’t like that they won’t get far on any swinger site just use respect and be clean and don’t be a arrogant prick
The line Wanna a fuck never works and never will
When people stop telling us that we're all special and everyone is equal.
Reality is a kick in the balls for most men when they go out into the real world."
Special in what way are guys special
Most Iv met in my life have been a dick on legs nothing special in that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection is a way of life for the single guy on fabs. For me, I try & look on the bright side. If I'm rejected then it means they've at least read the message. That's a result in itself. Despite this, I'm never rude to people. Just learn to accept you can't be all things to all people. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today someone told us to "fuck off" because we said they were not really what we were looking for.
What have you learned about rejection from your time at fab? "
That it is pretty much the norm.... so you just have to chill and roll with it.... |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
As a woman here I do lots of rejecting. If people want to take it personally and respond with childish nasty remarks it's a sign I've done the tight thing!
Today, I updated my status to say thanks for the compliments.. I put new pics up and do was getting waaay too many messages to reply to. One guy wrote..
"don't get too excited love, most blokes here would shag the barber shop floor if it had enough hair on" and sent me a shiny dick pic. Ew!
Quite funny really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glad to read I’m not the only one who gets a little upset when it’s insta block after “no thank you” reply. I mean I get why (ass hats and their fragile egos right), but sometimes I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
I’ve started to put that at the end of any initial message I send (not that there many!!), that way my “conscience” is clear and I’m not worried too much I’ve come across awful and with no manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Glad to read I’m not the only one who gets a little upset when it’s insta block after “no thank you” reply. I mean I get why (ass hats and their fragile egos right), but sometimes I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
I’ve started to put that at the end of any initial message I send (not that there many!!), that way my “conscience” is clear and I’m not worried too much I’ve come across awful and with no manners."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a woman here I do lots of rejecting. If people want to take it personally and respond with childish nasty remarks it's a sign I've done the tight thing!
Today, I updated my status to say thanks for the compliments.. I put new pics up and do was getting waaay too many messages to reply to. One guy wrote..
"don't get too excited love, most blokes here would shag the barber shop floor if it had enough hair on" and sent me a shiny dick pic. Ew!
Quite funny really "
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