FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > couples scared of bi guys
couples scared of bi guys
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *onkatim OP Man
over a year ago
bristol |
what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple "
Strange post.
We haven't come across many couples who are scared of bisexual guys.
We certainly aren't! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman."
To me its about being comfortable with your and others sexuality. If your husband doesn't feel comfortable around a bi curious or bi sexual man thats his prerogative. Totally understand and respect that.
If a straight couple asked if I was interested in a straight mfm, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I don't get my thrills out of being near a straight man in a sexual context.
I get my thrill out of pleasing the woman.
Its not something I turn on and off like a switch at all.
I have a couple of bloody good looking mates, I comfortable enough to appreciate that, doesn't mean I have sex with them though.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman."
Attraction can't be turned off, but acting on it can. I'm attracted to all sorts of people, but unless it's appropriate I keep it to myself. I "act straight" sexually unless I'm invited to be otherwise.
Why is attraction in and of itself a problem? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman.
To me its about being comfortable with your and others sexuality. If your husband doesn't feel comfortable around a bi curious or bi sexual man thats his prerogative. Totally understand and respect that.
If a straight couple asked if I was interested in a straight mfm, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I don't get my thrills out of being near a straight man in a sexual context.
I get my thrill out of pleasing the woman.
Its not something I turn on and off like a switch at all.
I have a couple of bloody good looking mates, I comfortable enough to appreciate that, doesn't mean I have sex with them though.
"
A lot of us straight guys, maybe particularly those who go to clubs, are completely relaxed around bi men, that’s not an issue at all.
The issue is as the comment you’re replying to says, not wanting to be used for a sexual thrill that can’t be reciprocated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman.
To me its about being comfortable with your and others sexuality. If your husband doesn't feel comfortable around a bi curious or bi sexual man thats his prerogative. Totally understand and respect that.
If a straight couple asked if I was interested in a straight mfm, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I don't get my thrills out of being near a straight man in a sexual context.
I get my thrill out of pleasing the woman.
Its not something I turn on and off like a switch at all.
I have a couple of bloody good looking mates, I comfortable enough to appreciate that, doesn't mean I have sex with them though.
"
I don’t quite agree that it’s ok—in and of itself—to be phobic towards a bisexual man because they cannot cope with the idea that the bi male finds the straight male attractive; simultaneously though I wouldn’t really want to be anywhere near a couple whose male half has issues like that so it wouldn’t really bother me either, if that makes sense.
In the nicest possible way and with no hint of nastiness towards any straight-male MF couple, although I can happily play just with the lady of the couple if the man is totally straight, my priority will always be couples with bi men, single bi men or bi/straight women who like bi men. If that means having sex with less women (who are part of a couple), so be it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman."
A man being bi doesn't mean he'll automatically be attracted to every man and have a need to shag them.
As a bi woman, are you attracted to every woman and have an overwhelming need to shag them? As a bi woman I can tell you that I certainly don't and would have no problem having a threesome where I don't get involved with the woman regardless of her sexuality. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman.
A man being bi doesn't mean he'll automatically be attracted to every man and have a need to shag them.
As a bi woman, are you attracted to every woman and have an overwhelming need to shag them? As a bi woman I can tell you that I certainly don't and would have no problem having a threesome where I don't get involved with the woman regardless of her sexuality."
Phew, glad you replied and said the above. I was getting confussed. As a bi ( well Pansexual) woman we meet with couples and single females weather they are bi or straight. I can keep my hands to myself if they are straight. I can also find times where I don't play with a bi lady, as they don't do it for me.
Exactly the same rules can apply to bi men.
However a bi man can also extend and decide if they are "bi playful". Does not mind being next to, possibly bumping cocks, while dvp ect. Or holding and guilding a cock into a woman. Plus they chose to be bi top / bottom, or both. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for "
and you guys are the kind of couple I love meeting, getting to know and potentially playing with.
We love an open mind! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago
nottingham/ derby |
Its not scared, its a freedom of choice, we are very choosy, but the main turn off for us is bad attitude. Swinging, playing, performing or watching is scacred and a pleasure, not a free for all and people have a right to have a preference, after all what is pleasurable for instance, doing something you dont enjoy, it certainly doesnt make us bias, in life we have choices and thats how we like it. Often feel we get excess bi winks and freinds requests because we are clear in our choices, but just hit delete and move on x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for "
 I applaud your attitude. Refreshing to read it. Shame others aren't so open.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If playing in a group do they refuse to play if any of the women are unattractive to the men, even though they won't be having sex directly 1 on 1?
I can't imagine in a club that play would be suspended the moment when some women arrive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I get loads of messages from straight men from a couples profile who want to meet me.
If only their wife's knew
85 out of 100 are bi, they just won't admit it to the wife |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for "
Exactly this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We're not scared of bi guys, but we don't (knowingly) meet them because we assume their ideal meet would be with a fully bi couple, and therefore they wouldn't be entirely satisfied with us. Could be wrong, of course, but there's so many straight guys on here that we don't need to take the risk of being a second best experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get loads of messages from straight men from a couples profile who want to meet me.
If only their wife's knew
85 out of 100 are bi, they just won't admit it to the wife"
EXACTLY!! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple "
Is there even an issue here? Surely it isn't that complicated, you meet, if you get along and have a dabble and if necessary use your words to agree any boundaries?
I have a couple of gay mates but when we go out (OK pre lockdown!) I never wonder if they are going to get amorous with me.... I kind of trust they can resist my devastating wit and repartie. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple
Is there even an issue here? Surely it isn't that complicated, you meet, if you get along and have a dabble and if necessary use your words to agree any boundaries?
I have a couple of gay mates but when we go out (OK pre lockdown!) I never wonder if they are going to get amorous with me.... I kind of trust they can resist my devastating wit and repartie. "
I think I would find it a bit hard to resist the repartie of a bloke who likes Greek food, admittedly but I can bloody try my best  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman."
You are assuming they fancy your husband? I am bi... I don't want to play with every woman that's married to a guy I fancy, therefore I would be playing straight  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for "
An excellent well thought response.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman.
To me its about being comfortable with your and others sexuality. If your husband doesn't feel comfortable around a bi curious or bi sexual man thats his prerogative. Totally understand and respect that.
If a straight couple asked if I was interested in a straight mfm, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I don't get my thrills out of being near a straight man in a sexual context.
I get my thrill out of pleasing the woman.
Its not something I turn on and off like a switch at all.
I have a couple of bloody good looking mates, I comfortable enough to appreciate that, doesn't mean I have sex with them though.
I don’t quite agree that it’s ok—in and of itself—to be phobic towards a bisexual man because they cannot cope with the idea that the bi male finds the straight male attractive; simultaneously though I wouldn’t really want to be anywhere near a couple whose male half has issues like that so it wouldn’t really bother me either, if that makes sense.
In the nicest possible way and with no hint of nastiness towards any straight-male MF couple, although I can happily play just with the lady of the couple if the man is totally straight, my priority will always be couples with bi men, single bi men or bi/straight women who like bi men. If that means having sex with less women (who are part of a couple), so be it!"
well said, most guys in couples who hate the fact that they maybe hot to the other guy or make out its a problem are either homophobic or secretly bi but not mature enough to cope eith with it, lots of women in couples seem to be repeat offenders too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think there's a few points to be covered here...
Firstly I don't think the "problem" of people not wanting to meet bisexual guys is as widespread as it is made out to be at times - in my experience those that implicitly say they won't meet bisexual men are very much in the minority, they just stand out more *because* they state it - the vast majority of people are either not bothered by bisexuality or actively seek it.
Secondly I find the notion that just because I am bisexual that it automatically means I will always expect to play bisexually a bizarre one - just because I like beef, I don't always choose steak from the menu in the restaurant - variety is the spice of life they say and I see my sexuality as no different, it's a veritable buffet that includes being bisexual, submissive and a whole host of other things and I am quite capable of choosing different combinations from that buffet to suit my taste at that moment in times, and fit the tastes of those I am meeting.
Yes there are *some* guys who may not be capable of that, but the vast majority of bisexual guys I know would say the same, so to suggest we can't keep our hands off another cock is a sweeping generalisation at best and pretty insulting at worst.
Ultimately I take the view that if people don't want to meet me because of my sexuality then I'm not "missing out" in the slightest, any more than I would if people didn't want to meet me because of any other preference or lack of attraction they may have.
The only time I have a problem with it is when they express it in bigoted or hateful terms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’ve played with bi and straight couples, and bi and straight singles. Where the male or female isn’t bi, we wouldn’t dream of forcing any unwanted interacting - that’s what boundaries are for. We have no problems with people whom don’t want to play with bi people - that’s a preference and would rather play with people whom are comfortable with us, or what’s the point?
I do feel some of these prejudices come from the old stereotypes that some how being bi is seen as a threat. Whilst I’m appalled if anyone forces themselves upon anyone, the assumption that by being bi you can’t keep your hands to yourself is unfounded. Whilst there are some incidents where bi people have crossed boundaries, it can also happen with straight people.
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think it's biphobic at all. As a bisexual woman, If a couple didn't want to meet me because of that then that's their choice. And it's the same here, it's not that they're scared of bi men, they just have a preference for men who are straight. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple "
In that mfm scenario, it'll have to be two bi guys for me! Otherwise I'd always be thinking about how the straight one is feeling about the play!
I would never be able to relax x  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its amazing how bi guys think attraction can just be turned off like a switch. I get confused by the statement 'bi but can play straight'. You are either bi or you are not bi. My husband does not want to be naked and in close contact with another man that will get a sexual thrill from it.
I am Bi and would have no interest in meeting a couple with a straight woman."
Is your straight husband attracted to every female he meets? Being bi, are you attracted to every woman and man you meet? Why do you assume that just because a man is bi he'll get a sexual thrill from any old situation with any man? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago
nottingham/ derby |
"what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple
In that mfm scenario, it'll have to be two bi guys for me! Otherwise I'd always be thinking about how the straight one is feeling about the play!
I would never be able to relax x "
Beg to differ my partner of many years is very comfy in other male company and very straight, our regular freinds are also very straight, they more interested in ensuring im pleasured, and if they accidentally touch a leg or bang balls, so be it it's laughed off, not just mmf but mmmf, i suppose it is what works for you, while our prof states our preference re bi miles, also states oh has no issues in being in close proximity, my pleasure is his, the closest to touching cocks is through the dividing barrier if i have both together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *Wman15Man
over a year ago
Altrincham |
"I think there's a few points to be covered here...
Firstly I don't think the "problem" of people not wanting to meet bisexual guys is as widespread as it is made out to be at times - in my experience those that implicitly say they won't meet bisexual men are very much in the minority, they just stand out more *because* they state it - the vast majority of people are either not bothered by bisexuality or actively seek it.
Secondly I find the notion that just because I am bisexual that it automatically means I will always expect to play bisexually a bizarre one - just because I like beef, I don't always choose steak from the menu in the restaurant - variety is the spice of life they say and I see my sexuality as no different, it's a veritable buffet that includes being bisexual, submissive and a whole host of other things and I am quite capable of choosing different combinations from that buffet to suit my taste at that moment in times, and fit the tastes of those I am meeting.
Yes there are *some* guys who may not be capable of that, but the vast majority of bisexual guys I know would say the same, so to suggest we can't keep our hands off another cock is a sweeping generalisation at best and pretty insulting at worst.
Ultimately I take the view that if people don't want to meet me because of my sexuality then I'm not "missing out" in the slightest, any more than I would if people didn't want to meet me because of any other preference or lack of attraction they may have.
The only time I have a problem with it is when they express it in bigoted or hateful terms."
good post - spot on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have had plenty of messages and winks etc since being on here from women and MF couples, yet am openly bisexual on my profile. It is not as bad as some men make out on here.
What I have noticed though, is many of my fellow men openly rejecting or being rude about gay men on their profiles. I find this hypocritical |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For us it's all about the attitude of the bi guy. As long as he is respectful of boundaries and not pushy, then no problem at all. He just helps me give Mrs a great time, we all get what we want. If he gets an added thrill checking me out (debatable lol) so what? If that adds to his pleasure without detracting from ours, what's not to like?
Plus, it can actually help to have someone who is really comfortable around other men for some of the things Mrs has acquired a taste for "
This as in most of our meets i tend to always be the main attraction hubby will even tell them im the main event ,but he still has fun with guy and enjoys seeing my pleasure too ,so its a win ,win ,a guy who is comfortable in his own skin is most important .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I use ‘bi-curious’. It’s only for the fact that when I get an invite from couples,in the heat of the moment,cocks may touch or hands may brush against certain areas(in a mmf scenario).
I use ‘bi-curious’ to show that I’m not going to have a meltdown if the penii touch.
It should have a ‘I’m laid back’ option.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"There is a elephant on the room here that people are not mentioning. StAtistically no men are more likely to engage in risky sex. That is a rraon many couples do not want bi men in my opinion"
That is a factor for some for sure - but the fact that swingers are in the same high risk group when it comes to STI risk undoes that theory |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't understand the issue? At the end of the day everyone wants to feel comfortable and sexy. Personally (Mr) I'm straight but I don't give a dam if another bloke is attracted to me or not as long as they understand and respect my boundries. If so we can (and have) all play along nicely together and have a good time. Likewise I have no problem with male on male activity near me as long as my boundries are respected. To be fair I sincerely hope other women and everybody else also respects my boundries. But as others have said some men don't feel comfortable with the idea of playing around men who are turned on by men or are totally put off by the presence of male on male action. And that is perfectly ok too and doesn't need to be defended. It's all about boundaries and everyone finding the environment they want to play in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what does it seem like alot of couples are scared or dont want to meet bi guys ??
just because some guys are bi we arent always after cock, we can be with couples and just enjoy the female part of the couple
In that mfm scenario, it'll have to be two bi guys for me! Otherwise I'd always be thinking about how the straight one is feeling about the play!
I would never be able to relax x
Beg to differ my partner of many years is very comfy in other male company and very straight, our regular freinds are also very straight, they more interested in ensuring im pleasured, and if they accidentally touch a leg or bang balls, so be it it's laughed off, not just mmf but mmmf, i suppose it is what works for you, while our prof states our preference re bi miles, also states oh has no issues in being in close proximity, my pleasure is his, the closest to touching cocks is through the dividing barrier if i have both together. "
I couldn't relax...
IT would definitely have to be both bi for ME! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use ‘bi-curious’. It’s only for the fact that when I get an invite from couples,in the heat of the moment,cocks may touch or hands may brush against certain areas(in a mmf scenario).
I use ‘bi-curious’ to show that I’m not going to have a meltdown if the penii touch.
It should have a ‘I’m laid back’ option.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is a elephant on the room here that people are not mentioning. StAtistically no men are more likely to engage in risky sex. That is a rraon many couples do not want bi men in my opinion
That is a factor for some for sure - but the fact that swingers are in the same high risk group when it comes to STI risk undoes that theory "
Not a theory... It's fact |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"There is a elephant on the room here that people are not mentioning. StAtistically no men are more likely to engage in risky sex. That is a rraon many couples do not want bi men in my opinion
That is a factor for some for sure - but the fact that swingers are in the same high risk group when it comes to STI risk undoes that theory
Not a theory... It's fact"
Yes it's a fact (and wasn't suggesting *that* was a theory) - as is the fact that swingers are placed in the same high risk group hence the theory that some use to justify not meeting bi men because of that perceived higher risk is undone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
