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manners
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite  |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
It's not that woman have bad manners, it's that the ratio of men to woman on here is ridiculous.. most woman get roughly 100 messages a day.. if we were to reply no to the majority of them it would take up alot of our time. That why on my profile it says if I delete your message it's a no from me and no offence... |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
It's not that woman have bad manners, it's that the ratio of men to woman on here is ridiculous.. most woman get roughly 100 messages a day.. if we were to reply no to the majority of them it would take up alot of our time. That why on my profile it says if I delete your message it's a no from me and no offence... "
none taken  |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
No reply = not interested
Cant expect people replying to 100s of messages saying sorry not interested  |
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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Because I don't have time to go through 100 odd messages a day and then reply to them all to then get abuse or a message back saying why or I can change your mind etc. I work 12/14 days and haven't got the time to send everyone a no thanks message. Its not personal |
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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
Because I don't have time to go through 100 odd messages a day and then reply to them all to then get abuse or a message back saying why or I can change your mind etc. I work 12/14 days and haven't got the time to send everyone a no thanks message. Its not personal "
12/14 hours** |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Nothing to do with manners. Can you imagine getting hundreds of messages each day OP?
I get excited when I get one. I like to shower, shave, dress up, then sit down with a white wine before reading the message. Novelty would wear off if I got hundreds though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
I do sympathise it appears rude I’m sure OP goes out of his way to compliment politely. Some just delete that’s fine (the feeling is like a door being slammed on your face) Some read but do not respond perhaps (they are busy or have a better offer on at present) and they’ll catch up later we hope? I guess it’s the nature of people on here I’m certain they get off from it perhaps. I guess OP should bide his time to get used to the forum and contribute. In doing this you may get a feeling of belonging and not a feeling of being on the outside  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Surely its not the end of the world for you to not receive a reply? |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
It does feel that way at times... But also there are some on here who do make the effort and reply, and it's most appreciated as this is supposed to be fun and I can well appreciate doing the "admin" for 3 hours a day is not much fun at all.
Also as my gf has a profile too and seeing the dross she gets sent.... One word mails, who clearly haven't read the profile or don't in any way meet any preferences, no phltos etc.... I can see it can be hard work.
Apart from anything, don't get hung up about what others do, all we can control is what we do ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was part of a couple the amount of abuse we got was unreal. I guess it’s the same for women, we have to realise if they want us to be part of their sex life they will let us know. As for us guys well I guess we wait and hope |
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One reason is if I reply to a message then change or apply filters, anyone I have messaged, even if it was to say no, can send further messages.
Plus 80% of messages just say Hi, not interested in answering those. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Manners cost nothing but I don't have the time to reply to every message. And when I have tried to in the past, you then get inundated with the "why not" messages."
Or as you sort 1, 10 more appear in your inbox, just because you are online! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Faqs tell you no reply means no thanks
But when women say no, no matter how nicely, we are often asked why or we receive insults because we aren't interested. So why would we respond just to be questioned or insulted? |
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Fab site guidance is that no reply = not interested, thank you.
A lot of people are getting invitations for sex now, when the lockdown prevents this.
People view the profile of those who message them, so if your profile is great, with full clear photos of how you look, you're doing all that you can. Other than managing your expectations, keep it up |
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By *etanoiaWoman
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
I started being polite with the thanks but no thanks. Unfortunately the majority then replied with abuse or begging. The final straw was being threatened with r@pe. Now I don’t engage if it’s a no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Maybe read one of the 5,000 threads about this before starting a new one? |
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"I started being polite with the thanks but no thanks. Unfortunately the majority then replied with abuse or begging. The final straw was being threatened with r@pe. Now I don’t engage if it’s a no. "
Op I hope by reading the above, your comment about ‘manners’ has finally been changed. Nobody should be threatened by r@pe just because they’re on a site. You maybe a genuine nice guy, but not everyone else is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I started being polite with the thanks but no thanks. Unfortunately the majority then replied with abuse or begging. The final straw was being threatened with r@pe. Now I don’t engage if it’s a no. "
That’s shocking! Surely threats such as this can be reported?
I was the same and I do still try to respond to those that make an effort with the message. But, yes sadly a fair amount of guys take a polite rejection very much as insult... my block button is certainly well used  |
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By *etanoiaWoman
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
"I started being polite with the thanks but no thanks. Unfortunately the majority then replied with abuse or begging. The final straw was being threatened with r@pe. Now I don’t engage if it’s a no.
That’s shocking! Surely threats such as this can be reported?
I was the same and I do still try to respond to those that make an effort with the message. But, yes sadly a fair amount of guys take a polite rejection very much as insult... my block button is certainly well used "
I did report but I’m sure there are plenty more with similar rejection issues x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
According to the site rules, no reply means no thanks.
The women in question are not showing bad manners at all. |
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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"I started being polite with the thanks but no thanks. Unfortunately the majority then replied with abuse or begging. The final straw was being threatened with r@pe. Now I don’t engage if it’s a no. "
That's horrific. No one should have to deal with that EVER!  |
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"I started being polite with the thanks but no thanks. Unfortunately the majority then replied with abuse or begging. The final straw was being threatened with r@pe. Now I don’t engage if it’s a no. "
Wow there is deafly no need for that. That just makes a bad impression for all of us |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Why do people not have the manners to read the site FAQ's before posting about people not having manners?
"It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
It's I'll mannered to send an unsolicited message to someone that clearly isn't interested in you
It's even more ill mannered to expect a response just because you sent a message.
Fab isn't all about you |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
Why do people not have the manners to read the site FAQ's before posting about people not having manners?
"It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?""
In their heads not reading FAQ isn’t bad manners.
However if you changed it around and said ‘every message has to be replied to’ they’d soon be complaining about women not reading the FAQs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Manners cost nothing but I don't have the time to reply to every message. And when I have tried to in the past, you then get inundated with the "why not" messages."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes if I have time and someone has made an effort with a message I will say 'no thanks'. Usually this leads to further messages asking why Or messages of abuse.
I currently have 437 unread messages. I recieve on average 300-400 a day.
I can't keep up.
If someone messages me and they have a hidden profile, a picof thier dick as thier profile pic, a profile with 8 pics of thier dick from a different angle, or have sent me a pic of thier dick with some message about how they theyike to shove it down my throat; I am highly unlikely to pay it any attention and I'm certainly not going to reply as the reply should be oblivious.
But I recognise its a difficult environment for genuine and lovely single guys on here, there are many of them. But the dick heads ruin it for them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to reply if I can, but it's not possible to reply to everyone as I don't want to spend all day doing it.
It's the site rules are clear - no reply means no thank you. As soon as you reply that person can bypass your filters and sometimes people want to be able to switch messages off.
It's not rude. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"I try to reply if I can, but it's not possible to reply to everyone as I don't want to spend all day doing it.
It's the site rules are clear - no reply means no thank you. As soon as you reply that person can bypass your filters and sometimes people want to be able to switch messages off.
It's not rude."
I can confirm that this lady isn't rude and replied. Unlike Jim'll fix it. |
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Isn't it just as rude or lack of manners to message a woman/couple without having first read and understood their profile? Not saying that this is the case with you OP but it's pretty damned obviously how it is for a lot of single guys on here judging by our mailbox  |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
If you ever get to meet a woman on Fab, just ask her to show you how many messages she gets on a typical day. Then you'll understand why this is such a stupid question... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I’ll take a seat and relax and read the reply’s x
(But, most men will be like a kid in a sweet shop when they get a reply, where as most ladies get 100s a day and find it extremely hard to keep up and send a reply to those they want to)
So I think it’s perfectly reasonable for a lady to just delete .... I do the same
Man - sends message
Lady - polite reply “sorry your not for me”
Man - But why
Lady - because your not my type(sigh)
Man - I can be if you give me a chance
Lady - SIGH.......
Man - please
Lady - even bigger SIGH
Man - I can see you online , please give me a chance
Lady - Block
Man - left demoralised and disappointed and maybe slightly angry
OR
Man - sends message
Lady - delete
Man - slightly disappointed - but moves on
I’m not sure about you but I can definitely see a different outcome here for all.
Just saying : )
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"I think I’ll take a seat and relax and read the reply’s x
(But, most men will be like a kid in a sweet shop when they get a reply, where as most ladies get 100s a day and find it extremely hard to keep up and send a reply to those they want to)THIS
So I think it’s perfectly reasonable for a lady to just delete .... I do the same
Man - sends message
Lady - polite reply “sorry your not for me”
Man - But why
Lady - because your not my type(sigh)
Man - I can be if you give me a chance
Lady - SIGH.......
Man - please
Lady - even bigger SIGH
Man - I can see you online , please give me a chance
Lady - Block
Man - left demoralised and disappointed and maybe slightly angry
OR
Man - sends message
Lady - delete
Man - slightly disappointed - but moves on
I’m not sure about you but I can definitely see a different outcome here for all.
Just saying : )
"
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
OP clearly this is personal to you.
Reflect on how you come across.. you've an 7month old profile, no profile pic and the public pic you do have is just one.
Your profile text is a tad lacking..
I wouldnt be surprised if you dont get replies because your profile is not giving much to potential meets.
Our pictures and text present us to the crowd we want to meet.
And again, like others have said, you arent owed a reply. It's a grown up site... be a grown up |
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"I think I’ll take a seat and relax and read the reply’s x
(But, most men will be like a kid in a sweet shop when they get a reply, where as most ladies get 100s a day and find it extremely hard to keep up and send a reply to those they want to)
So I think it’s perfectly reasonable for a lady to just delete .... I do the same
Man - sends message
Lady - polite reply “sorry your not for me”
Man - But why
Lady - because your not my type(sigh)
Man - I can be if you give me a chance
Lady - SIGH.......
Man - please
Lady - even bigger SIGH
Man - I can see you online , please give me a chance
Lady - Block
Man - left demoralised and disappointed and maybe slightly angry
OR
Man - sends message
Lady - delete
Man - slightly disappointed - but moves on
I’m not sure about you but I can definitely see a different outcome here for all.
Just saying : )
"
^^^this. |
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By *etanoiaWoman
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
This Beauty I received made me chuckle. Men of fab this is why we don’t reply. It was too good not to share!
“Pfft who reads profiles? I did a split test copy and paste as many as possible vs reading profiles. And the most effective way is copy and paste as many as possible. So while it's not worked with you, your just part of the calculation. Prob too much of a slut for me anyway. Cya later.“ |
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I honestly try to reply to all messages but sometimes the sheer volume is overwhelming, I do atleast Try to respond to the people who put real effort in to their opening statement. I’m always respectful even if it is a polite thanks but no thanks x |
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"This Beauty I received made me chuckle. Men of fab this is why we don’t reply. It was too good not to share!
“Pfft who reads profiles? I did a split test copy and paste as many as possible vs reading profiles. And the most effective way is copy and paste as many as possible. So while it's not worked with you, your just part of the calculation. Prob too much of a slut for me anyway. Cya later.“"
Omg for sheer comedic value that’s priceless x |
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By *etanoiaWoman
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
"This Beauty I received made me chuckle. Men of fab this is why we don’t reply. It was too good not to share!
“Pfft who reads profiles? I did a split test copy and paste as many as possible vs reading profiles. And the most effective way is copy and paste as many as possible. So while it's not worked with you, your just part of the calculation. Prob too much of a slut for me anyway. Cya later.“
Omg for sheer comedic value that’s priceless x"
he gets marks for his method and planning, it fails on his execution lol x |
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"I think I’ll take a seat and relax and read the reply’s x
(But, most men will be like a kid in a sweet shop when they get a reply, where as most ladies get 100s a day and find it extremely hard to keep up and send a reply to those they want to)
So I think it’s perfectly reasonable for a lady to just delete .... I do the same
Man - sends message
Lady - polite reply “sorry your not for me”
Man - But why
Lady - because your not my type(sigh)
Man - I can be if you give me a chance
Lady - SIGH.......
Man - please
Lady - even bigger SIGH
Man - I can see you online , please give me a chance
Lady - Block
Man - left demoralised and disappointed and maybe slightly angry
OR
Man - sends message
Lady - delete
Man - slightly disappointed - but moves on
I’m not sure about you but I can definitely see a different outcome here for all.
Just saying : )
^^^this."
Nail and head springs to mind! Spot on x |
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I used to reply to all mails and tbh the abuse i got back off the majority wasnt worth it. I gave up when i got back a message calling me every name under the sun and they threatened to find me and kick my head with a steel toe cap boot. So no OP i dont have bad manners i just choose to not met with a ton of abuse because i said no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I’ll take a seat and relax and read the reply’s x
(But, most men will be like a kid in a sweet shop when they get a reply, where as most ladies get 100s a day and find it extremely hard to keep up and send a reply to those they want to)
So I think it’s perfectly reasonable for a lady to just delete .... I do the same
Man - sends message
Lady - polite reply “sorry your not for me”
Man - But why
Lady - because your not my type(sigh)
Man - I can be if you give me a chance
Lady - SIGH.......
Man - please
Lady - even bigger SIGH
Man - I can see you online , please give me a chance
Lady - Block
Man - left demoralised and disappointed and maybe slightly angry
OR
Man - sends message
Lady - delete
Man - slightly disappointed - but moves on
I’m not sure about you but I can definitely see a different outcome here for all.
Just saying : )
^^^this.
Nail and head springs to mind! Spot on x"
Tbf, some can't take the, deleted unread, thing either...  |
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"Nobody owes you a reply, deal with it. "
I'm sure he has "dealt with it" whatever that means. The threads about manners. We all "deal with" good and not so good manners everyday... One makes the world a nicer place.. One doesn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody owes you a reply, deal with it.
I'm sure he has "dealt with it" whatever that means. The threads about manners. We all "deal with" good and not so good manners everyday... One makes the world a nicer place.. One doesn't. "
No reply is not bad manners.
The rules of the site are there for us all. If we don't like them, then we can always leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Until you've actually seen a woman's account and seen the amount of messages they get. Then you might understand just how many. I'm talking dozens to hundreds!!
Its impossible to reply to all of them especially if they haven't upgraded their account as you're limited to the amount you're allowed to reply too.
Maybe admin could do something to educated people and advise the correct etiquette. Maybe a welcome email when their account is made.
Until then just take it that a read and no reply is a no thank you. And a deleted unread could just be a mass deleted for the reasons above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to give a polite no thanks message to guys that have bothered to send a decent message. The mindless crap I just delete, if they can't put in even a little effort then neither will I. Especially as, as others have said, I get 100-200 messages a day. I probably still send polite no's to nearly half though... Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Volume, basically.
We sad men have plenty of time to contemplate our failed launches. Women have tides of attention to wade through before any of that even counts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is so funny, as I was talking to Sir about this earlier.
I try to alway reply to a message unless I'm super busy.
Even a thank you but no thank you , it takes less than 2 minutes.
Courtesy is everything |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"This is so funny, as I was talking to Sir about this earlier.
I try to alway reply to a message unless I'm super busy.
Even a thank you but no thank you , it takes less than 2 minutes.
Courtesy is everything "
We used to do this. How many messages do you get?
For your efforts do you get many that ask "why?" then an unnecessary follow up message is required when you've said no already.
Do you get abuse for a refusal? For many here the answer to at least one of the above is yes and now choose not to reply due to the hassle and bother, I actually don't blame them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So OP how many threads are you going to start about this? I’ve literally just relied on pretty much a replica forum post you started exactly about the same thing .
Just accept no reply means no and leave it there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get my fair share but unless its a one word message I try to answer.
I've never had abuse from anyone in saying no thank you. If im questioned why its my perogative to give an answer or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
It's not that woman have bad manners, it's that the ratio of men to woman on here is ridiculous.. most woman get roughly 100 messages a day.. if we were to reply no to the majority of them it would take up alot of our time. That why on my profile it says if I delete your message it's a no from me and no offence... "
Yes, and then you get the nasty comebacks when they can't take rejection  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
Nothing to do with manners. Can you imagine getting hundreds of messages each day OP?
I get excited when I get one. I like to shower, shave, dress up, then sit down with a white wine before reading the message. Novelty would wear off if I got hundreds though. "
Haha that is so sweet  |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
It's not that woman have bad manners, it's that the ratio of men to woman on here is ridiculous.. most woman get roughly 100 messages a day.. if we were to reply no to the majority of them it would take up alot of our time. That why on my profile it says if I delete your message it's a no from me and no offence...
Yes, and then you get the nasty comebacks when they can't take rejection "
It’s not nice getting abuse from it awful and every gender is as bad as each other. If you get abuse just report and block, also op how many of these threads are you opening up. |
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Because an inbox full of "no"s clogging up your messages would make you feel better?
Personally, I will respond if it's a well-written first message and it's clear that you've read our profile. But if it's obvious that you haven't read a damn thing or your message just says "Hi Babe", I'm not going to bother. |
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If I message a lady,..i always check to see if she has stated no reply etc etc...if the message gets read I delete it after a wee bit , just so I don't have heaps of messages sitting ...that will never get a reply . And block the lady.. just to be sure I don't forget and send another email to someone that isn't interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite
Nothing to do with manners. Can you imagine getting hundreds of messages each day OP?
I get excited when I get one. I like to shower, shave, dress up, then sit down with a white wine before reading the message. Novelty would wear off if I got hundreds though. "
Haha love this! Mrs x |
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A guy messaged me, I ignored him, so he sent a shitty message calling me all sorts. He messaged me again, some time later, and I replied, I’m not interested, but thanks for the message. He replies with a barrage of insults again because I politely declined! Sometimes you can’t win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody owes you a reply, deal with it.
I'm sure he has "dealt with it" whatever that means. The threads about manners. We all "deal with" good and not so good manners everyday... One makes the world a nicer place.. One doesn't. "
Another male complaining. I see you don't respond to women in the same way |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
Do you reply to every unsolicited letter or email you get at hom? My guess is probably not, but I wouldn't come to the conclusion that you are impolite. |
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"why do women have such bad manners ? if one takes time to send a message why can't women just say yes or no its not the end off the world and it is polite "
OMG read the FAQ's means no so sick of seeing this....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just too many for them to reply to probably. "
This or the fact they don’t read the profile and they aren’t what you are looking for or they read it and choose to ignore your preference anyway. So no it’s not rude at all |
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"a) some women have thousands of messages to sift through.
b) you're a stranger on the internet, nobody owes you anything.
c) just move on."
This . If you’re a single guy on fab the sooner you get your head round this is how it works the better and more likely you will make a success of being on here. Also you have to make your profile attractive and interesting . If you are in the supermarket would you stop and look at a new product with a blacked out photo and no description??? |
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