FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Women messaging
Women messaging
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.  "
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
They do. Many will skip a profile that doesn't have a profile pic though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? "
Try it. I did it once and it was interesting. 
I didn't get 20 replies but I don't look like you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? "
I bet they all reply! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? "
Im thinking you probably get twenty replies |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
They do OP - in fact some specifically block men from messaging them first so they can do their own searching.
As for men doing "all the running" - those that believe and follow that line of thinking are usually those most frustrated by the site.
Remember it's not *just* about messaging - there are many other approaches, but regardless of which one you use, attitude, approach and expectations coupled with a decent profile and pics are what really make or break your perception of the site |
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
In normal times would you expect to walk into a very busy pub with a bag on your head, say nothing and expect women to come over and pull you ? |
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? Im thinking you probably get twenty replies "
Ok i cheated abit i messaged 10 men I only liked the look of their profile photo.. As after messaging 5, I got really bored... The guys i really wanted to message were gay and didn't accept women messaging, so far 3 out of the 10 replied.... I still want to keep to the principle, men message first.  |
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running...
In normal times would you expect to walk into a very busy pub with a bag on your head, say nothing and expect women to come over and pull you ?"
Exactly this or 10 times in 3 weeks just messaging "hi" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I messaged my partner first as I liked his profile and how he was presenting himself on the forums. We have been together for over 1.5 years now, despite me breaking my knee, badly, a couple of days after that initial contact. |
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Us ladies do message don’t you realise the spelling is correct and don’t shorten our words and do agree nice to see who we are message why put a post up if you don’t have pictures on profile ?????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
You might get a few more if you fill out your profile and add some pictures |
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Here's hoping
I don't get many messages anyway, and certainly not from ladies. I am somewhat confused by sine of the responses from guys above in this thread who say they get messages. When I asked for profile feedback a while back I was told in no uncertain terms no pictures of my cock, yet the guys who say they do well have pictures of their cock and/or other women.
I'm confused.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cock pics are a personal preference - some women hate it when that’s all there is, I’m not bothered. Variety is key but so is getting involved and putting yourself out there without being a pest  |
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"They do OP - in fact some specifically block men from messaging them first so they can do their own searching.
As for men doing "all the running" - those that believe and follow that line of thinking are usually those most frustrated by the site.
Remember it's not *just* about messaging - there are many other approaches, but regardless of which one you use, attitude, approach and expectations coupled with a decent profile and pics are what really make or break your perception of the site "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is nice to get a message from a women sometimes. Not very many do though which is fine as they (I assume) have enough trouble going through the amount they get sent to them.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only tend to message if I see something that I really like on their profile/pictures. Generally speaking though I only send maybe one or two messages a week. X |
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By *stoppMan
over a year ago
Durham |
"Here's hoping
I don't get many messages anyway, and certainly not from ladies. I am somewhat confused by sine of the responses from guys above in this thread who say they get messages. When I asked for profile feedback a while back I was told in no uncertain terms no pictures of my cock, yet the guys who say they do well have pictures of their cock and/or other women.
I'm confused.... "
If we all wanted the same it would be a strange place, I give up trying to please all on here quite sometime ago, hence I post pics I’m happy to post, no bloke will ever make it to the Top Pics Section, I say post what you like, when you like.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am sick of receiving unsolicited messages from women, spamming me with their vaginas and tits
When will they learn we aren't interested and would much prefer to see a face |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I messaged T first on my singles profile, best message I’ve ever sent. He didn’t even have a profile picture but I was completely drawn to his profile.
On this profile I tend to do more messaging than him, but I like him taking the lead, I love watching him interact with people. And if things get too much he takes charge
L x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get plenty messages.
Work on your profile and give women a reason to message you.
No one's going to contact someone with no profile pic and a one liner profile. |
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"Here's hoping
I don't get many messages anyway, and certainly not from ladies. I am somewhat confused by sine of the responses from guys above in this thread who say they get messages. When I asked for profile feedback a while back I was told in no uncertain terms no pictures of my cock, yet the guys who say they do well have pictures of their cock and/or other women.
I'm confused....
If we all wanted the same it would be a strange place, I give up trying to please all on here quite sometime ago, hence I post pics I’m happy to post, no bloke will ever make it to the Top Pics Section, I say post what you like, when you like.. "
That's fair
I'm going to rethink my approach to this place, what I want from it and to hell with the consequences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's hoping
I don't get many messages anyway, and certainly not from ladies. I am somewhat confused by sine of the responses from guys above in this thread who say they get messages. When I asked for profile feedback a while back I was told in no uncertain terms no pictures of my cock, yet the guys who say they do well have pictures of their cock and/or other women.
I'm confused.... "
Different people like different things.
Not every woman likes a cock picture or women in the profile. Some do. Some don’t care.
If women are interested in you they’ll message or they’ll reply. |
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By *ookMan
over a year ago
london |
Good news An extremely lovely lady messaged me today about something I posted in forum... unfortunately she’s only looking for ladies lol but my suggestion is to use the forums for intelligent conversation be nice and be yourself and you never know gents. Doesn’t always lead to anything but you do get to chat to some amazing people...I consider forums to be an online cocktail bar for ugly blokes... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes they do message, but theres that many men on here bombarding all the womens inboxes that you have to give them chance ha ha. Just look at it like this, if they are intersted they will message you if not then forget it. |
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
I receive messages very occasionally. When I first joined I was eager and sent lots of messages to reach out, but that yielded hardly any replies.
When I do receive messages it’s normally in response to when I update my status.
I now very rarely send messages to people I haven’t spoken to before. It’s a bit of a fruitless task. It is what it is |
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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago
The South Near That London |
"They sometimes (rarely) message until something better comes along then they stop.
Men message until they've cum.
Some do I’m sure - all women do as I’ve described. "
All women? Or all women you’ve messaged? Can’t beat a sweeping generalisation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They sometimes (rarely) message until something better comes along then they stop. "
Haha I do agree this does happen very often. While I do get messages from women many stop responding after one or two, or never send a second message. In fact the last three women who messaged me never sent me a second message |
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Rarely get a first message but when it is, it's refreshing 
Unfortunately I can imagine a lot of women just get bombarded with them though.
I know a face pic is important and helps but personally, I can't risk it openly unless it's through messages  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Here's hoping
I don't get many messages anyway, and certainly not from ladies. I am somewhat confused by sine of the responses from guys above in this thread who say they get messages. When I asked for profile feedback a while back I was told in no uncertain terms no pictures of my cock, yet the guys who say they do well have pictures of their cock and/or other women.
I'm confused.... "
Out of interest I've just been back through all the guys that said they got messages from women before your post and only three had cock pics or other women showing and one of those was mine (where my cock is visible in two pics and not the focus of them) - so less than half of those responding.
And the thing is *some* women don't like seeing them at all, *some* don't mind if there are one or two amongst a group of other pics or where the cock isn't the focus, and *some* insist on seeing one - so you will never please all of the people all of the time - which is why you have to do what you think is right for you which removes the confusion.
Whether someone messages you or not though comes down to a number of factors, your profile and pics being one of them. If you use the forums or chat rooms, how you come across in them is another factor. Attraction and appeal of course are the main one.
Ultimately it's up to you to present yourself in the best possible way you can and try not to worry about what others do - everyone is different and has different ways of approaching the site, and finding what works for them, and it's up to you to find yours. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"They sometimes (rarely) message until something better comes along then they stop.
Men message until they've cum.
Some do I’m sure - all women do as I’ve described.
All women? Or all women you’ve messaged? Can’t beat a sweeping generalisation "
Seems others agree with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, love messaging men first if i think they look or sound hot and interesting enough.
I think it depends on ways that you use fab. Many ways to do this but on a previous profile i've had public pics and used the 'they come to you' approach. Pros = don't have to do much searching. Cons = have to sift through a lot of messages/profiles to find one you're attracted to and even then some may slip through the net.
The other approach is hide your profile/stealth mode. Cons = have to do a lot more searching and some people think you're fake. Pros = less messages to sift through and can spend your time looking for people you like rather than swerving people you don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
It's rare, but I've had a few. Generally they're profiles of a nature that seem too good to be true. And, bar one, that's exactly how they've turned out. |
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"Here's hoping
I don't get many messages anyway, and certainly not from ladies. I am somewhat confused by sine of the responses from guys above in this thread who say they get messages. When I asked for profile feedback a while back I was told in no uncertain terms no pictures of my cock, yet the guys who say they do well have pictures of their cock and/or other women.
I'm confused....
Out of interest I've just been back through all the guys that said they got messages from women before your post and only three had cock pics or other women showing and one of those was mine (where my cock is visible in two pics and not the focus of them) - so less than half of those responding.
And the thing is *some* women don't like seeing them at all, *some* don't mind if there are one or two amongst a group of other pics or where the cock isn't the focus, and *some* insist on seeing one - so you will never please all of the people all of the time - which is why you have to do what you think is right for you which removes the confusion.
Whether someone messages you or not though comes down to a number of factors, your profile and pics being one of them. If you use the forums or chat rooms, how you come across in them is another factor. Attraction and appeal of course are the main one.
Ultimately it's up to you to present yourself in the best possible way you can and try not to worry about what others do - everyone is different and has different ways of approaching the site, and finding what works for them, and it's up to you to find yours."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They sometimes (rarely) message until something better comes along then they stop.
Men message until they've cum.
Some do I’m sure - all women do as I’ve described.
All women? Or all women you’ve messaged? Can’t beat a sweeping generalisation
Seems others agree with me "
One person agreed with you.
Hardly a majority.
It could simply be that the others these women are messaging are more suited/interesting/engaging. |
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I discovered I find it achievement if a guy i like returns the message. But usually the more handsome the guy, the less he says. He might wink back or just say thanks. But never serious about wanting to meet. |
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? "
I’d be surprised if you didn’t get 20 replies |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I had a lovely long first message from a woman on fab.She seemed attractive to me so I said yes to her request to meet and have lunch. She drove to my house to pick me up in her Ferrari. We had lunch at a fabulous hotel .We were chatting for ages then she said she wanted to take me back to my home and kneel astride my face so off we went. Women messaging first does work . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a lovely long first message from a woman on fab.She seemed attractive to me so I said yes to her request to meet and have lunch. She drove to my house to pick me up in her Ferrari. We had lunch at a fabulous hotel .We were chatting for ages then she said she wanted to take me back to my home and kneel astride my face so off we went. Women messaging first does work . "
lol yes was it a black ferrari i love black ferraris  |
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"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? I’d be surprised if you didn’t get 20 replies "
19 out of 20 replied. Only 5 were genuinely interested in having a conversation |
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By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
Difficult side of Fab. It’s a brutal truth that guys with more attractive age, pics & profiles will get more messages. But ladies are very much outnumbered on here so they can easily afford to be choosy or never message first etc.
Just the way it is.... but us less popular guys keep trying lol ! |
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By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
"I discovered I find it achievement if a guy i like returns the message. But usually the more handsome the guy, the less he says. He might wink back or just say thanks. But never serious about wanting to meet. "
By the way, does size matter Jasminegurthy ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I discovered I find it achievement if a guy i like returns the message. But usually the more handsome the guy, the less he says. He might wink back or just say thanks. But never serious about wanting to meet. "
This. I have ended conversations with some absolute gods because talking to them was like trying to suck blood from a stone  |
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"I discovered I find it achievement if a guy i like returns the message. But usually the more handsome the guy, the less he says. He might wink back or just say thanks. But never serious about wanting to meet.
This. I have ended conversations with some absolute gods because talking to them was like trying to suck blood from a stone "
Yeah that just ruins any attraction for me. It's hard to fancy a man who can't even manage a decent conversation. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Difficult side of Fab. It’s a brutal truth that guys with more attractive age, pics & profiles will get more messages. But ladies are very much outnumbered on here so they can easily afford to be choosy or never message first etc.
Just the way it is.... but us less popular guys keep trying lol !"
Whilst I can see why that might be the perception - you regularly see guys of all ages and body types bemoaning their "luck" and lack of messages, or making statements like "I used to have a thought out profile and it made no difference" so I'm not sure your statement is true.
I actually don't think there is a magic formula to getting messages or not, but I certainly don't look on it as any kind of competition or other guys getting more messages than me etc just focus on my own experience and make the best of it as I can |
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
"Yes, we do.
Not as much as you men though.
Wonder what happen if i did a mass blanket messaging a copy and paste message or "hi" to the first 20 men online list? Actually maybe i try it out as a social experiment and see how many men reply? "
Would be very interesting results. You might get surprised.
I prefer a personally crafted message that shows someone has read the profile.
By hi from a beautiful Lady will be similar to saying hi to a guy at the bar no? |
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"Lucky to get any message at all..never mind a first one . But yes had a few over the years..women and couples...doesn't half boost the confidence "
Mind you, I'm normally blocked after the third nessage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lucky to get any message at all..never mind a first one. But yes had a few over the years..women and couples...doesn't half boost the confidence
Mind you, I'm normally blocked after the third nessage "
I know what you mean, tends to be after I send the face pic with me.
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We are a couple and thinking about it the only time we message first is if we see a wink that interests us but most of the time we just delete these. We don’t browse haven’t for years we just normally wait for someone to message us, yes we are lazy Fabbers we know haha, although on a good note we always reply to those that message even if we don’t think they are for us in terms of meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve messaged people first, I have no issue with it. I’m a strong secure woman, if I like what I see, I go get it. "
That's exactly the type of fabbers I'm looking for. It's the ones that message 1st that tick my box.
Obviously I have to be their cup of tea |
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"I discovered I find it achievement if a guy i like returns the message. But usually the more handsome the guy, the less he says. He might wink back or just say thanks. But never serious about wanting to meet.
This. I have ended conversations with some absolute gods because talking to them was like trying to suck blood from a stone
Yeah that just ruins any attraction for me. It's hard to fancy a man who can't even manage a decent conversation. "
I must be looking at the wrong women, because I send (what I think is) a reasonable length first message, with a few questions in it, and get a one word answer if I'm lucky
I appreciate conversation above most other things |
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I sometimes get messages from women,usually forum related or asking about my make-up.
I more often get approached by couples,generally it's the females from the genuine ones,rather than single guys pretending to be couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I discovered I find it achievement if a guy i like returns the message. But usually the more handsome the guy, the less he says. He might wink back or just say thanks. But never serious about wanting to meet.
This. I have ended conversations with some absolute gods because talking to them was like trying to suck blood from a stone
Yeah that just ruins any attraction for me. It's hard to fancy a man who can't even manage a decent conversation.
I must be looking at the wrong women, because I send (what I think is) a reasonable length first message, with a few questions in it, and get a one word answer if I'm lucky
I appreciate conversation above most other things "
Are you sure they aren't men? |
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"No I don't. I want the ego boost of getting mail from men desperate for a fuck.
If I mail them it makes me look desperate. "
I think we're all on here for same thing, good safe sexual fun.
But it's always going to be a nerves thing when messaging or replying for first time.
Especially new guys like me, and wondering if I send a message that's normal, or should I be sexual and flirty etc etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do our messaging too, i think it’s purely because on a whole women put more effort into there profiles,, just my opinion on what I’ve seen.its rare to find a profile with the right photos , Info and charm. |
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By *niper oneMan
over a year ago
DERBY/Notts border |
"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
Are you joking,they are the comodity more chance of winning the lottery PoF is a lot easier than this site by far
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running..."
I'm involved with a lass I met on here, she messaged me so yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women ever message the guys on here seems it’s us men who have to do all the running...Are you joking,they are the comodity more chance of winning the lottery PoF is a lot easier than this site by far"
Why not just stick to pof then |
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"No I don't. I want the ego boost of getting mail from men desperate for a fuck.
If I mail them it makes me look desperate. "
.....and it makes them look what exactly?
This site would be so much better if women did message and didn't see it as beneath them.
Personally I stopped sending messages some time ago, so no loss for me, but one of the biggest complaints on Fab is from the way men message a woman.
While I'd never lower myself to send anything like the vile kind if messages women get it would make so much more sense to have men not able to send messages and have just women control the narrative by searching for the guys with the best reputations, thereby not having to wade through the classless stuff you women get. It might also target guys who are going to send civilised and respectful responses. |
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"They do OP - in fact some specifically block men from messaging them first so they can do their own searching.
As for men doing "all the running" - those that believe and follow that line of thinking are usually those most frustrated by the site.
Remember it's not *just* about messaging - there are many other approaches, but regardless of which one you use, attitude, approach and expectations coupled with a decent profile and pics are what really make or break your perception of the site "
In truth none of the above make the slightest difference. For the vast majority it still results in a perpetually empty inbox.
I'm lucky in that my local clubs are great places, where I have a lot of success - and don't waste my time sending messages on here any more, preferring to build a good reputation in person, rather than anonymously.
Fab would work so much better if the effort was 50/50 from both men and women, especially if the women searched for quality guys for themselves. Based on the various threads on this subjects the majority of women appear to think making an effort is beneath them and are indignant at the very thought. If they blocked men messaging, but approached guys themselves it would be a win-win, stopping the terrible messaging of so many guys AND would allow women to better control the narrative, instead of us all seeing the constant threads about how bad mens approaches are on the forums.
Bottom line is there are a lot of great guys, who never stoop to the lowest common denominator, who would get noticed if the women looked for them. It'll never happen though.
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"They do OP - in fact some specifically block men from messaging them first so they can do their own searching.
As for men doing "all the running" - those that believe and follow that line of thinking are usually those most frustrated by the site.
Remember it's not *just* about messaging - there are many other approaches, but regardless of which one you use, attitude, approach and expectations coupled with a decent profile and pics are what really make or break your perception of the site
In truth none of the above make the slightest difference. For the vast majority it still results in a perpetually empty inbox.
I'm lucky in that my local clubs are great places, where I have a lot of success - and don't waste my time sending messages on here any more, preferring to build a good reputation in person, rather than anonymously.
Fab would work so much better if the effort was 50/50 from both men and women, especially if the women searched for quality guys for themselves. Based on the various threads on this subjects the majority of women appear to think making an effort is beneath them and are indignant at the very thought. If they blocked men messaging, but approached guys themselves it would be a win-win, stopping the terrible messaging of so many guys AND would allow women to better control the narrative, instead of us all seeing the constant threads about how bad mens approaches are on the forums.
Bottom line is there are a lot of great guys, who never stoop to the lowest common denominator, who would get noticed if the women looked for them. It'll never happen though.
"
I can only agree with all above, meeting in clubs is a lot more sensible than trying to connect via fabs, I guess women to men ratio is about 1 to 10 so it is “buyers market” where ladies decide,
Occasionally receive some wink or even a message, but most of them lead to nothing, no answer after 2nd 3rd message, maybe my writing skills are not so good or persuasive, I do try to be polite and interested though, |
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"Let’s be honest do they really need to message they get 100,s of hits a day, if it was the other way round would you message?"
They do message fairly often. Getting 100s of hits is not a good thing because you can’t sort the wheat from the chaff - it’s much easier if you hunt your own prey (huge apologies for bastardising multiple analogies there!) |
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