FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Married and playing away appreciation
Married and playing away appreciation
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. " I’m so sorry to hear that.... Keep your chin up , hopefully you find someone on here to give you what you’re lacking at home.... | |||
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"You’ve always been a thoughtful lad RBC! Bless you. I suppose this thread is genius in a twofold way. Either people can appreciate or it’s a list of people to discreetly Block without dramatics. Whatever reason you are here for or what the readers’ views are I hope you are all safe and well and as always HAPPY FABBING xxx" Thank you so much for those kind words.... You have always been a consistent poster... I will always respect you for that.... | |||
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"I know it can be hard for married people playing away on the forums.... I would like to create a safe thread to appreciate the nice married people that are looking for a little extra love on Fab..... I know it must be hard for all the married people stuck inside right now , that are In loveless and sexless marriages.... So , Please post and maybe you can get a meeting after this Coronavirus is over....." Loveless and sexless? Why not leave? | |||
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"Hopefully this thread doesn't go the same way as another one before when the OP (not you OP) asked for people's stories without judgement, and then ended up judging everyone after all." But it will because the holier than thou brigade will appear.
Do what you want to do OP, your life.  | |||
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"Hopefully this thread doesn't go the same way as another one before when the OP (not you OP) asked for people's stories without judgement, and then ended up judging everyone after all." Ohhh it definitely will, as people just can’t help themselves but for the record, I have appreciated the odd married man over the years, and will continue to make that judgement on a case by case basis  | |||
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"Married men are my favourite. "You are a beacon of hope for so many men in a sea of hopelessness... | |||
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"I know it can be hard for married people playing away on the forums.... I would like to create a safe thread to appreciate the nice married people that are looking for a little extra love on Fab..... I know it must be hard for all the married people stuck inside right now , that are In loveless and sexless marriages.... So , Please post and maybe you can get a meeting after this Coronavirus is over..... Loveless and sexless? Why not leave?" Does a whale crap in the ocean? In America, why do we park our cars in a driveway but we drive on a highway? | |||
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"Best of both worlds, in a happy marriage with sex, and playing away!" This must be Nirvana | |||
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"Fell in love with my Married FB. Ended it because not going anywhere. Still hurting 4 months on. "I’m so sorry , I hope you find happiness this year.... | |||
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"I am married, just over 30’good years now We started soft swinging together years ago In the end mrs decided it is not for her She always knows when I meet So many on here seem to think this is cheating ?? " They just don’t have a open mind, and really don’t know what they are missing...... With 17 verifications you must be doing something right.... | |||
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"Hopefully this thread doesn't go the same way as another one before when the OP (not you OP) asked for people's stories without judgement, and then ended up judging everyone after all." No this thread will be fine..... I might not agree with someone’s opinion but I will always respect them for saying it... | |||
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"Hopefully this thread doesn't go the same way as another one before when the OP (not you OP) asked for people's stories without judgement, and then ended up judging everyone after all. Ohhh it definitely will, as people just can’t help themselves but for the record, I have appreciated the odd married man over the years, and will continue to make that judgement on a case by case basis "This attitude is very refreshing to read on these forums.... You actually judged a man for the content of his character and not on his martial status.... You are a trend setter and I hope more people follow your lead... | |||
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I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations. | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised " That is a truly horrible situation to be in..... You have sex twice a year but you still stayed in this marriage... you must really love her as person.... I’m not half the man you’re and couldn’t put up with it..... I hope you find twenty years of filthy fun on Fab to make up for lost times..., | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations. "You are the exact reason I created this thread.... I hope you find some great married guys on this thread and have some fun before you leave Fab.... Remember you only have one life to live , and kudos to you for enjoying it.... | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations.
You are the exact reason I created this thread.... I hope you find some great married guys on this thread and have some fun before you leave Fab....
Remember you only have one life to live , and kudos to you for enjoying it...."Ooooh, this little website has given me so much... I have met so many great people, both socially and in more intimate terms. I have had truly exhilarating experiences- both sexual and vanilla ones that would have probably never happened had it not been for Fab...
I meant leave my marriage, but lol, yes, I see what you mean. Thanks for the kudos and the good wishes.  | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations. "i admire your attitude very much and your husband is the one with an issue and i hope you will be appreciated ,its refreshing to read something like this ..   | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations. "Physically you look pretty damn good to me | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations. "Very similar situation to you. All the best hun. We are certainly only here once. Xxx | |||
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"Hopefully this thread doesn't go the same way as another one before when the OP (not you OP) asked for people's stories without judgement, and then ended up judging everyone after all. Ohhh it definitely will, as people just can’t help themselves but for the record, I have appreciated the odd married man over the years, and will continue to make that judgement on a case by case basis "I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it
Good to hear your open-minded outlook. There are many shades of married, and if adults want to have fun together then it's up to them to make their own choices. | |||
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"Very similar situation to you. All the best hun. We are certainly only here once. Xxx" So true. Can you sort my hair out please? | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often. "I've seen you post this before and I was really angry for you. If he doesn't find you attractive he should shut his bloody mouth, or do the decent thing and move on. Bringing you down like that is unnecessary, he sounds like an unsavoury individual. I'm Glad to see you're now living your best life without him. Your pictures are confident, classy and sexy. Get away from this fool asap, and enjoy the only life we all have, you have that right. | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. " You were dating the girl for years but lost your virginity to an escort? No wonder you're on this site. That'd drive anyone insane. | |||
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"I am married, just over 30’good years now We started soft swinging together years ago In the end mrs decided it is not for her She always knows when I meet So many on here seem to think this is cheating ?? " You are one of the few exceptions. You aren't cheating, good luck. X | |||
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"I am married but it’s sexless. I believe we all have our reasons for being here. We should respect those reasons. People do have a choice to not meet" If we are told the truth. | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. " My advice for what it's worth: leave! You're 20 years old, been together four years and you used an escort? Life is hard and miserable enough: you get but one chance...don't waste it. | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. My advice for what it's worth: leave! You're 20 years old, been together four years and you used an escort? Life is hard and miserable enough: you get but one chance...don't waste it." This is the best advice you can get, young man! Life is full of experiences to have and enjoy. And sexual compatibility is one (if not the) ma factors for a happy and long lasting truthful relationship... Like others in this thread I live in a loving but sexless married. Leaving seems too hard an option having young kids. Remaining sexless with averages of less than once a year sex while I have a high sex drive is just soul destroying. At least I’m honest about my true situation. Fortunately I’ve found a few people open minded enough to understand this. Some are married women in similar situation and others are single. Anyway it’s refreshing to see we are a very small minority in fab but still we are not alone and some people are able not to judge us for this... Enjoy as much as you can... happy fabbing! | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. My advice for what it's worth: leave! You're 20 years old, been together four years and you used an escort? Life is hard and miserable enough: you get but one chance...don't waste it. This is the best advice you can get, young man! Life is full of experiences to have and enjoy. And sexual compatibility is one (if not the) ma factors for a happy and long lasting truthful relationship... Like others in this thread I live in a loving but sexless married. Leaving seems too hard an option having young kids. Remaining sexless with averages of less than once a year sex while I have a high sex drive is just soul destroying. At least I’m honest about my true situation. Fortunately I’ve found a few people open minded enough to understand this. Some are married women in similar situation and others are single. Anyway it’s refreshing to see we are a very small minority in fab but still we are not alone and some people are able not to judge us for this... Enjoy as much as you can... happy fabbing! "We have seen a lot of couples say that they stay together for the kids. It puts a massive responsibility and ultimately a sense of guilt on the shoulders of these kids. Is that really putting your kids first or simply using them as an excuse not to face up to reality?? | |||
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"Or simply an excuse to cheat?? " This is a safe place for married people playing away..... I’m asking with the utmost respect..... Can you please try to be nonjudgmental ? | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. My advice for what it's worth: leave! You're 20 years old, been together four years and you used an escort? Life is hard and miserable enough: you get but one chance...don't waste it. This is the best advice you can get, young man! Life is full of experiences to have and enjoy. And sexual compatibility is one (if not the) ma factors for a happy and long lasting truthful relationship... Like others in this thread I live in a loving but sexless married. Leaving seems too hard an option having young kids. Remaining sexless with averages of less than once a year sex while I have a high sex drive is just soul destroying. At least I’m honest about my true situation. Fortunately I’ve found a few people open minded enough to understand this. Some are married women in similar situation and others are single. Anyway it’s refreshing to see we are a very small minority in fab but still we are not alone and some people are able not to judge us for this... Enjoy as much as you can... happy fabbing! "I married at 20 to a man I loved dearly who was my rock. He had two sons from a previous relationship he adored and supported and never once badmouthed his ex. We had the boys every weekend, life was good We had two daughters and a son. One night we went to bed with three kids but woke up to two: our son had died in the night. I can't begin to describe the pain. Nothing since has even come close. My husband retreated into a bottle. Everyone was shut out but there was still four living children who needed their dad. His ex and I continued raising the kids, I'd still pick the boys up etc while he drank. When my eldest stepson was learning to drive I took him out as his sad had lost his licence at this point for drink driving. I stayed because of the kids. However, when my 12 year old said "mum, I love dad, but if you stay please don't say it's for us". A year later I was gone. The kids were happy, I was happy and it shocked my ex into stopping drinking. I'd never been on my own, from parents home to marital home. I had problems with my sight then. I had to start again at 42, but you know what I'd never been happier. I think people use kids as an excuse as at the end of the day they can have their cake and eat it. This lockdown must be hell for many. | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations.
You are the exact reason I created this thread.... I hope you find some great married guys on this thread and have some fun before you leave Fab....
Remember you only have one life to live , and kudos to you for enjoying it....
Ooooh, this little website has given me so much... I have met so many great people, both socially and in more intimate terms. I have had truly exhilarating experiences- both sexual and vanilla ones that would have probably never happened had it not been for Fab...
I meant leave my marriage, but lol, yes, I see what you mean. Thanks for the kudos and the good wishes. "Oooooffftttt hello , love the video on your profile  | |||
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"Everyone has a choice, let them make their own,its not a nanny state yet,id say in reality swinging is cheating,but its a choice." Swinging is way different from cheating. It's done with the knowledge and consent of both partners. Cheating isn't | |||
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"I know it can be hard for married people playing away on the forums.... I would like to create a safe thread to appreciate the nice married people that are looking for a little extra love on Fab..... I know it must be hard for all the married people stuck inside right now , that are In loveless and sexless marriages.... So , Please post and maybe you can get a meeting after this Coronavirus is over..... Loveless and sexless? Why not leave?" Easier to maintain the status quo? | |||
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"I do feel for people in these predicaments where they clearly love their partners but aren't having sex. Sex is a very important part of any relationship and it's difficult to feel close to someone without physical intimacy. I understand that this is not an ideal situation for most people playing away. That they'd rather not be here and in a perfect world they would be having sex with their partners instead of looking for it on here. But then there are those who are proud of it, who think nothing of betrayal. I was speaking to someone recently who after a couple of messages admitted he was married. His excuse for cheating was simply because he wanted to. He and his wife were perfectly happy and had a great sex life but he said he was greedy and wanted more. This is just one example but I have seen many more instances of people basically just not giving a shit about their partner and boasting about playing away. Do you think that this type of behaviour has given people who are genuinely stuck and desperate for intimacy a bad name? " I think everyone should be judge on a individual basis.... it’s only fair..... | |||
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"Everyone has a choice, let them make their own,its not a nanny state yet,id say in reality swinging is cheating,but its a choice. Swinging is way different from cheating. It's done with the knowledge and consent of both partners. Cheating isn't" Yes very true, but let’s be honest.... people still cheat while swinging.... | |||
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"Everyone has a choice, let them make their own,its not a nanny state yet,id say in reality swinging is cheating,but its a choice. Swinging is way different from cheating. It's done with the knowledge and consent of both partners. Cheating isn't" Agree. I think people get mixed up with cheating and non-monogamy. They aren't the same thing at all. Not everyone believes having one sexual partner for life or the duration of a relationship is the norm. | |||
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"Everyone has a choice, let them make their own,its not a nanny state yet,id say in reality swinging is cheating,but its a choice. Swinging is way different from cheating. It's done with the knowledge and consent of both partners. Cheating isn't Agree. I think people get mixed up with cheating and non-monogamy. They aren't the same thing at all. Not everyone believes having one sexual partner for life or the duration of a relationship is the norm. " Very true, and that's why swinging is completely honest and open within a relationship, with the knowledge and consent of both partners. | |||
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"I know it can be hard for married people playing away on the forums.... I would like to create a safe thread to appreciate the nice married people that are looking for a little extra love on Fab..... I know it must be hard for all the married people stuck inside right now , that are In loveless and sexless marriages.... So , Please post and maybe you can get a meeting after this Coronavirus is over....." We are very very keen on bi married guys. We both know that there can be 100 reasons why someone "cheats" and we don't judge for a second. | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. " There’s got to be more to life than that. I feel for you. | |||
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"I know it can be hard for married people playing away on the forums.... I would like to create a safe thread to appreciate the nice married people that are looking for a little extra love on Fab..... I know it must be hard for all the married people stuck inside right now , that are In loveless and sexless marriages.... So , Please post and maybe you can get a meeting after this Coronavirus is over..... Loveless and sexless? Why not leave?" I stayed for far too long. So many reasons! | |||
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"In a relationship with a girl for 4 years now, met when we were 16. Don’t have sex, barely do any stuff like hsndjobs etc. We truly love each other and care for each other , but very difficult when she’s not sexual. Lost my virginity to an escort last October , which I feel guilty about , but it is what it is. My advice for what it's worth: leave! You're 20 years old, been together four years and you used an escort? Life is hard and miserable enough: you get but one chance...don't waste it." This. Best thing I ever did. I’m just mad with myself I didn’t do it a lot sooner. | |||
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"I do feel for people in these predicaments where they clearly love their partners but aren't having sex. Sex is a very important part of any relationship and it's difficult to feel close to someone without physical intimacy. I understand that this is not an ideal situation for most people playing away. That they'd rather not be here and in a perfect world they would be having sex with their partners instead of looking for it on here. But then there are those who are proud of it, who think nothing of betrayal. I was speaking to someone recently who after a couple of messages admitted he was married. His excuse for cheating was simply because he wanted to. He and his wife were perfectly happy and had a great sex life but he said he was greedy and wanted more. This is just one example but I have seen many more instances of people basically just not giving a shit about their partner and boasting about playing away. Do you think that this type of behaviour has given people who are genuinely stuck and desperate for intimacy a bad name? I think everyone should be judge on a individual basis.... it’s only fair..... " Yeah that's what I'm saying, but there's a minority who do it basically just for fun and that makes people more likely to judge cheaters overall. | |||
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"Nicely put. Sex is just one part of a marriage, but if there’s a massive imbalance between what each person in that marriage wants, it can be massively hurtful for both. Constant badgering for sex is as soul destroying for one as constant rejection is for the other. There is always a choice of course and for those of us whose partners (however much we love them) don’t approve or understand we could just put up and shut up and suffer the mental consequences. Or we could walk away and in doing so tear everything else that’s good about the relationship to pieces. Or we could do what I’m doing and try to find a least worst option by finding like minded people who can share with me one important part of what I need for a happy life. Judgy McJudgeface may say it is more ‘honest’ to fess up and take the consequences. I won’t argue with that and i doubt it would change anyone’s mind if I did. If I had the option of a varied and fulfilling sex life with my wife I would seize it with both hands. I don’t and so what’s left is a range of difficult, messy choices. I don’t expect everyone to approve but it would be nice if we could all be a little kinder to each other if we don’t have a full story to make our minds up on." There are those of us who don't need the full story - we have simply chosen not to be an option for men in relationships. Sadly we don't get the respect we deserve when we are approached by these men who are simply too lazy to read our profiles or are trying their luck  | |||
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"Everyone has a choice, let them make their own,its not a nanny state yet,id say in reality swinging is cheating,but its a choice. Swinging is way different from cheating. It's done with the knowledge and consent of both partners. Cheating isn't Yes very true, but let’s be honest.... people still cheat while swinging...." That’s not swinging tho it’s cheating... | |||
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"Nicely put. Sex is just one part of a marriage, but if there’s a massive imbalance between what each person in that marriage wants, it can be massively hurtful for both. Constant badgering for sex is as soul destroying for one as constant rejection is for the other. There is always a choice of course and for those of us whose partners (however much we love them) don’t approve or understand we could just put up and shut up and suffer the mental consequences. Or we could walk away and in doing so tear everything else that’s good about the relationship to pieces. Or we could do what I’m doing and try to find a least worst option by finding like minded people who can share with me one important part of what I need for a happy life. Judgy McJudgeface may say it is more ‘honest’ to fess up and take the consequences. I won’t argue with that and i doubt it would change anyone’s mind if I did. If I had the option of a varied and fulfilling sex life with my wife I would seize it with both hands. I don’t and so what’s left is a range of difficult, messy choices. I don’t expect everyone to approve but it would be nice if we could all be a little kinder to each other if we don’t have a full story to make our minds up on. There are those of us who don't need the full story - we have simply chosen not to be an option for men in relationships. Sadly we don't get the respect we deserve when we are approached by these men who are simply too lazy to read our profiles or are trying their luck "Please don't forget that there are those of us who are very respectful of others and their situations and statuses. I for one always read the profile first to see if I'm that person or couples type | |||
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"I'm married, realised I had a bi side. Know the wife's thoughts on it so on here." You sure on her thoughts ,i found out about my hubbys bi side a year ago ,yes it was a shock etc and we had to work at it and long emotional chats but we are here and happy ,good luck anyway | |||
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"I'm married, realised I had a bi side. Know the wife's thoughts on it so on here.You sure on her thoughts ,i found out about my hubbys bi side a year ago ,yes it was a shock etc and we had to work at it and long emotional chats but we are here and happy ,good luck anyway" So pleased that you worked things out as a couple. The way it should be. Honesty, always the best and fairest policy. | |||
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"Nicely put. Sex is just one part of a marriage, but if there’s a massive imbalance between what each person in that marriage wants, it can be massively hurtful for both. Constant badgering for sex is as soul destroying for one as constant rejection is for the other. There is always a choice of course and for those of us whose partners (however much we love them) don’t approve or understand we could just put up and shut up and suffer the mental consequences. Or we could walk away and in doing so tear everything else that’s good about the relationship to pieces. Or we could do what I’m doing and try to find a least worst option by finding like minded people who can share with me one important part of what I need for a happy life. Judgy McJudgeface may say it is more ‘honest’ to fess up and take the consequences. I won’t argue with that and i doubt it would change anyone’s mind if I did. If I had the option of a varied and fulfilling sex life with my wife I would seize it with both hands. I don’t and so what’s left is a range of difficult, messy choices. I don’t expect everyone to approve but it would be nice if we could all be a little kinder to each other if we don’t have a full story to make our minds up on. There are those of us who don't need the full story - we have simply chosen not to be an option for men in relationships. Sadly we don't get the respect we deserve when we are approached by these men who are simply too lazy to read our profiles or are trying their luck
Please don't forget that there are those of us who are very respectful of others and their situations and statuses. I for one always read the profile first to see if I'm that person or couples type"I don't need to remember that, it should be a given. If this site was used for selling items and I want strawberries, I have two options: seek sellers of strawberries or put a public ad for strawberries. I don't need pear sellers offering me pears and I don't have to note there are pear sellers.  | |||
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"This has been a really intresting thread to read. Thanks op for stating the question. Just goes to show not to judge a book by its cover and to be civil and nice to people if you arnt intrested. " It's probably due to the OP not starting a whinging thread, instead it's a subtle look at me if I'm your type  | |||
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"It’s been the same for me too. Been married for many years but in a sexless marriage for the last 6 years after she had the menopause. Have chatted about why we aren’t intimate anymore but she’s not interested and also mentioned HRT but she doesn’t want to go down that route either. I know i won’t be for everyone but I still feel I need and want a good and varied sex life while I still can and fab provides that. " Why on earth should your wife go on HRT if she doesn't need it? It is likely that 6 years after her last period her oestrogen has levelled out. If, however, she is having severe hot flushes and night sweats, mood swings, brain fog and various other things (suggesting oestrogen still dropping) she might want to consider it. | |||
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"Nicely put. Sex is just one part of a marriage, but if there’s a massive imbalance between what each person in that marriage wants, it can be massively hurtful for both. Constant badgering for sex is as soul destroying for one as constant rejection is for the other. There is always a choice of course and for those of us whose partners (however much we love them) don’t approve or understand we could just put up and shut up and suffer the mental consequences. Or we could walk away and in doing so tear everything else that’s good about the relationship to pieces. Or we could do what I’m doing and try to find a least worst option by finding like minded people who can share with me one important part of what I need for a happy life. Judgy McJudgeface may say it is more ‘honest’ to fess up and take the consequences. I won’t argue with that and i doubt it would change anyone’s mind if I did. If I had the option of a varied and fulfilling sex life with my wife I would seize it with both hands. I don’t and so what’s left is a range of difficult, messy choices. I don’t expect everyone to approve but it would be nice if we could all be a little kinder to each other if we don’t have a full story to make our minds up on. There are those of us who don't need the full story - we have simply chosen not to be an option for men in relationships. Sadly we don't get the respect we deserve when we are approached by these men who are simply too lazy to read our profiles or are trying their luck
Please don't forget that there are those of us who are very respectful of others and their situations and statuses. I for one always read the profile first to see if I'm that person or couples type
I don't need to remember that, it should be a given. If this site was used for selling items and I want strawberries, I have two options: seek sellers of strawberries or put a public ad for strawberries. I don't need pear sellers offering me pears and I don't have to note there are pear sellers. "That’s true - but neither would you pass moral judgement on pear sellers or brand them as people of lesser worth simply because you weren’t in the market for what they happened to be selling. Equally you wouldn’t expect to have abuse hurled at you as you hurried past the pear stall on your way to the strawberry stand. | |||
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"We meet married men...as long as they are honest about it....it's not up to us to judge them they have their reasons for doing it. When people say to them just leave it's not as easy as that...some maybe happy with their wife but fancy a bit extra, but for some the reality is the cost, children if they have any,finding somewhere to live..." Surely the unsuspecting wife should be involved in the decision about the whole situation? | |||
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"We meet married men...as long as they are honest about it....it's not up to us to judge them they have their reasons for doing it. When people say to them just leave it's not as easy as that...some maybe happy with their wife but fancy a bit extra, but for some the reality is the cost, children if they have any,finding somewhere to live... Surely the unsuspecting wife should be involved in the decision about the whole situation? " As I say who are we to judge? | |||
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"I am married, just over 30’good years now We started soft swinging together years ago In the end mrs decided it is not for her She always knows when I meet So many on here seem to think this is cheating ?? They just don’t have a open mind, and really don’t know what they are missing...... With 17 verifications you must be doing something right...." Thank you Seems odd to me son many judge and tell me I am cheating | |||
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"Day 1 of thread I thought this is going okay, people are being respectful of topic even though they may not agree with it. Day 2........ "I think there is someone you fancy fall in love with and there is ladies you fancy and are in lust with and it can always work out in the end | |||
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"Everyone has a choice, let them make their own,its not a nanny state yet,id say in reality swinging is cheating,but its a choice. Swinging is way different from cheating. It's done with the knowledge and consent of both partners. Cheating isn't Yes very true, but let’s be honest.... people still cheat while swinging...." Uh oh...you’re not supposed to say this , it’s not like we ever see the fallout of cheating swingers in the forums....oh wait we do.. | |||
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"Day 1 of thread I thought this is going okay, people are being respectful of topic even though they may not agree with it. Day 2........ "I find it surprising, what gives anyone the right to say I am Cheating ? | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always" Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? | |||
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"Day 1 of thread I thought this is going okay, people are being respectful of topic even though they may not agree with it. Day 2........
I find it surprising, what gives anyone the right to say I am
Cheating ?
"I totally understand people are against cheating and that’s why they hijack the thread. I do it about things I don’t agree with and trust me that’s a long fucking list.... | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok??" Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok??" There are numerous things on this site I don’t agree with and think are far from okay. Do I comment on all of those, some I do others I leave them to interact with each other. | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now "How are we being unkind. We are simply speaking our mind. Isn't that what you are doing? | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? There are numerous things on this site I don’t agree with and think are far from okay. Do I comment on all of those, some I do others I leave them to interact with each other. Everyone will have different views on things. Doesn't make either right or wrong! Everyone has a right to an opinion! " | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now
How are we being unkind.
We are simply speaking our mind.
Isn't that what you are doing? "I don't join in on forums just to disagree with what ever the post was started for so no. I'm not just speaking my mind. If you read what the purpose of this thread was you would just not comment. That's how you are being unkind. | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? There are numerous things on this site I don’t agree with and think are far from okay. Do I comment on all of those, some I do others I leave them to interact with each other. Everyone will have different views on things. Doesn't make either right or wrong! Everyone has a right to an opinion! " Of course everyone has a right to an opinion but why do they feel the need to exercise it all the time? | |||
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"Judge ye not lest ye be judged. Nobody is perfect. " Speak for yourself | |||
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"Think in this, no right or wrong, however trust is a major value in a relationship. So I so dislike comments like “it’s okay for me; partner to do it, “I’d go ape shit”. Hypocrisy comes to mind. What happens if trust is a double edge sword?" exactly! Be different story I bet! | |||
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"I've seen many sides of this. I married and played away. I've been the other woman for more years than I care to admit. Probably because I know the rules and play the part well. Also because it's suited me not having to let someone into my family. No judgment from me. All I will say is that its wise to keep your heart out of it. To the guy who's only 20..i married at 16. I was miserable for 10 years. Perhaps it's the reason I'll probably always be alone. Please seriously consider why you're wasting your best years in a relationship that's not right for you or her. " Exactly this. The bit that I find hard is not so much about the cheating, but the unhappiness that people live with. | |||
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"Hmmm... I think I get enough appreciation as a married woman.
I’ve always been very open about my situation. Husband loves me, but is not attracted to me physically/sexually. At all. And he tells me this often.
He had a 2 year long affair which ended in complete mayhem and destruction (from her, not me). At the height of their affair I opened my account on Fab. It’s been therapeutic and a real eye opener to see that I am not unattractive or undesirable at all. I have made amazing friends and got lots of male insight. have had lots of fun as well!
I will probably end up leaving, but not yet. I need to plan my exit. I don’t mind seeing married men- my best FWBs are married but we are very respectful of one anothers’ situations. "I'm dumbfounded how a red blooded man with eyesight could even consider saying those things to you unless to try and damage your confidence it's a method of control I think. I'd just like to assure you that you are a very beautiful lady... Exquisite and I'm delighted that you have been able to get back to you J x | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now
How are we being unkind.
We are simply speaking our mind.
Isn't that what you are doing? "Do you have any friends that are Vegan? Well if you don’t, I’ll tell you about this common trait all my vegan friends have.... They will tell you at every opportunity... why what you’re eating is bad for you and hurting the planet , they will ask you to try any vegan dish they make regardless if you’re interested or not... Now these same vegans are wearing leather clothes , driving cars , taking trips on airplanes, and taking medicines made from animals..... So essentially you’re being that vegan friend in this thread...... | |||
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"Judge ye not lest ye be judged. Nobody is perfect. Speak for yourself "There always has to be one  | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now
How are we being unkind.
We are simply speaking our mind.
Isn't that what you are doing?
Do you have any friends that are Vegan?
Well if you don’t, I’ll tell you about this common trait all my vegan friends have....
They will tell you at every opportunity... why what you’re eating is bad for you and hurting the planet , they will ask you to try any vegan dish they make regardless if you’re interested or not...
Now these same vegans are wearing leather clothes , driving cars , taking trips on airplanes, and taking medicines made from animals.....
So essentially you’re being that vegan friend in this thread......"Actually, as a former vegan (now vegetarian) I can tell you... I never ever buy leather clothes, I only use my car for essential trips (for example my previous job was almost 20 miles away with no public transport links) and I've been on exactly 2 holidays in the past 5 years where I've had to take short haul flights. It's not about being 100% perfect, as long as you can tell yourself that you're trying your hardest to make the best choice according to your beliefs. I don't care too much about your analogy in relation to cheaters lol just don't shit on vegans pls | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now
How are we being unkind.
We are simply speaking our mind.
Isn't that what you are doing?
Do you have any friends that are Vegan?
Well if you don’t, I’ll tell you about this common trait all my vegan friends have....
They will tell you at every opportunity... why what you’re eating is bad for you and hurting the planet , they will ask you to try any vegan dish they make regardless if you’re interested or not...
Now these same vegans are wearing leather clothes , driving cars , taking trips on airplanes, and taking medicines made from animals.....
So essentially you’re being that vegan friend in this thread......
Actually, as a former vegan (now vegetarian) I can tell you... I never ever buy leather clothes, I only use my car for essential trips (for example my previous job was almost 20 miles away with no public transport links) and I've been on exactly 2 holidays in the past 5 years where I've had to take short haul flights. It's not about being 100% perfect, as long as you can tell yourself that you're trying your hardest to make the best choice according to your beliefs. I don't care too much about your analogy in relation to cheaters lol just don't shit on vegans pls " | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised " Drives me nuts when you hear similar stories and the normal responses are "talk to her / buy her flowers / go scrub the house clean". Never once have I encountered a guy who said "we used to have a rubbish sex live, but we talked about it and now we're at it like rabbits". Like you said, often there's an underlying reason like asexuality or a health issue that they don't want to get diagnosed and isn't going to go away no matter how many times you do the dishes. | |||
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"Always the same sanctimonious people on here judging as always Is it judging to say dishonesty is wrong, or is it factual. Are there many people on here who actually think dishonesty is ok?? Yet again. What is it with you guys. You just seem to go on to threads just to pick an argument. Obviously you guys are so happy and so secure that you love to judge everyone else. Be kind guys. Worlds funked up enough just now
How are we being unkind.
We are simply speaking our mind.
Isn't that what you are doing?
Do you have any friends that are Vegan?
Well if you don’t, I’ll tell you about this common trait all my vegan friends have....
They will tell you at every opportunity... why what you’re eating is bad for you and hurting the planet , they will ask you to try any vegan dish they make regardless if you’re interested or not...
Now these same vegans are wearing leather clothes , driving cars , taking trips on airplanes, and taking medicines made from animals.....
So essentially you’re being that vegan friend in this thread......
Actually, as a former vegan (now vegetarian) I can tell you... I never ever buy leather clothes, I only use my car for essential trips (for example my previous job was almost 20 miles away with no public transport links) and I've been on exactly 2 holidays in the past 5 years where I've had to take short haul flights. It's not about being 100% perfect, as long as you can tell yourself that you're trying your hardest to make the best choice according to your beliefs. I don't care too much about your analogy in relation to cheaters lol just don't shit on vegans pls "Oh I love and respect my Vegan friends..... but they can be a bit much at times... | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised Drives me nuts when you hear similar stories and the normal responses are "talk to her / buy her flowers / go scrub the house clean". Never once have I encountered a guy who said "we used to have a rubbish sex live, but we talked about it and now we're at it like rabbits". Like you said, often there's an underlying reason like asexuality or a health issue that they don't want to get diagnosed and isn't going to go away no matter how many times you do the dishes. " You really can’t blame people for this assumption.... As someone said above most swingers think cheaters are just greedy people.... Posters responding negatively in this thread are acting Like the cheating wife or husband has not tried to fix the problem in the marriage.... | |||
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"Nicely put. Sex is just one part of a marriage, but if there’s a massive imbalance between what each person in that marriage wants, it can be massively hurtful for both. Constant badgering for sex is as soul destroying for one as constant rejection is for the other. There is always a choice of course and for those of us whose partners (however much we love them) don’t approve or understand we could just put up and shut up and suffer the mental consequences. Or we could walk away and in doing so tear everything else that’s good about the relationship to pieces. Or we could do what I’m doing and try to find a least worst option by finding like minded people who can share with me one important part of what I need for a happy life. Judgy McJudgeface may say it is more ‘honest’ to fess up and take the consequences. I won’t argue with that and i doubt it would change anyone’s mind if I did. If I had the option of a varied and fulfilling sex life with my wife I would seize it with both hands. I don’t and so what’s left is a range of difficult, messy choices. I don’t expect everyone to approve but it would be nice if we could all be a little kinder to each other if we don’t have a full story to make our minds up on. There are those of us who don't need the full story - we have simply chosen not to be an option for men in relationships. Sadly we don't get the respect we deserve when we are approached by these men who are simply too lazy to read our profiles or are trying their luck
Please don't forget that there are those of us who are very respectful of others and their situations and statuses. I for one always read the profile first to see if I'm that person or couples type
I don't need to remember that, it should be a given. If this site was used for selling items and I want strawberries, I have two options: seek sellers of strawberries or put a public ad for strawberries. I don't need pear sellers offering me pears and I don't have to note there are pear sellers.
That’s true - but neither would you pass moral judgement on pear sellers or brand them as people of lesser worth simply because you weren’t in the market for what they happened to be selling. Equally you wouldn’t expect to have abuse hurled at you as you hurried past the pear stall on your way to the strawberry stand."Just as I wouldn't want pears shoved in my face just because I'm on the site | |||
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"In my case married 30 years love her to bits but sadly multiple sclerosis has taken the ability of sex away She knows I'm on here so long as I don't run away which I wont" Same situation with me. Yet I still feel that I have to justify my position on here, I'm sure not with everyone but even though I'm upfront about it I feel that people will not believe me. | |||
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"I was in a sexless marriage for over 10 years but she had serious illnesses and past away nearly 2 years ago now.i was her fulltime husband lover (very very rearly) and best friend and stuck with her to the very end which by then was excruciatingly hard work and I almost crack and left her but I dodnt I stuck it out as I knew she needed my love. I always went out and wanked in the car woods or somewhere risky to liven myself up. I did meet escorts a couple of times before that happened and if anyone needs to have a friendly chat male or female that just want to vent there frustration out with me then please dont hesitate to message me I totally know where your coming from." Sorry to hear about your loss. Xx | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised Drives me nuts when you hear similar stories and the normal responses are "talk to her / buy her flowers / go scrub the house clean". Never once have I encountered a guy who said "we used to have a rubbish sex live, but we talked about it and now we're at it like rabbits". Like you said, often there's an underlying reason like asexuality or a health issue that they don't want to get diagnosed and isn't going to go away no matter how many times you do the dishes. You really can’t blame people for this assumption.... As someone said above most swingers think cheaters are just greedy people.... Posters responding negatively in this thread are acting Like the cheating wife or husband has not tried to fix the problem in the marriage...." All these people think they know it all. Saying about others need to fix their problem, when maybe looking a lot closer to home, looking in the mirror, is what should be the answer. Simply because they can't accept dishonesty is wrong. Sad. | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised Drives me nuts when you hear similar stories and the normal responses are "talk to her / buy her flowers / go scrub the house clean". Never once have I encountered a guy who said "we used to have a rubbish sex live, but we talked about it and now we're at it like rabbits". Like you said, often there's an underlying reason like asexuality or a health issue that they don't want to get diagnosed and isn't going to go away no matter how many times you do the dishes. You really can’t blame people for this assumption.... As someone said above most swingers think cheaters are just greedy people.... Posters responding negatively in this thread are acting Like the cheating wife or husband has not tried to fix the problem in the marriage.... All these people think they know it all. Saying about others need to fix their problem, when maybe looking a lot closer to home, looking in the mirror, is what should be the answer. Simply because they can't accept dishonesty is wrong. Sad." I don’t believe that anyone thinks dishonesty is right, just for some it may be a necessity for whatever reason, as part of their personal choices in life. The world isn’t black and white. Being so close minded is an equally unattractive trait in my view. | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised Drives me nuts when you hear similar stories and the normal responses are "talk to her / buy her flowers / go scrub the house clean". Never once have I encountered a guy who said "we used to have a rubbish sex live, but we talked about it and now we're at it like rabbits". Like you said, often there's an underlying reason like asexuality or a health issue that they don't want to get diagnosed and isn't going to go away no matter how many times you do the dishes. You really can’t blame people for this assumption.... As someone said above most swingers think cheaters are just greedy people.... Posters responding negatively in this thread are acting Like the cheating wife or husband has not tried to fix the problem in the marriage.... All these people think they know it all. Saying about others need to fix their problem, when maybe looking a lot closer to home, looking in the mirror, is what should be the answer. Simply because they can't accept dishonesty is wrong. Sad. I don’t believe that anyone thinks dishonesty is right, just for some it may be a necessity for whatever reason, as part of their personal choices in life. The world isn’t black and white. Being so close minded is an equally unattractive trait in my view." The world is never black and white we agree. A very small percentage of people cheating do have a genuine reason we totally agree, but the majority use that as an excuse and the sad thing is they know that but still shout up on here. And for the record, we are not bothered in the slightest who finds anything that we do unattractive. We would be concerned if we attracted the wrong type. It seems that opinions cannot be accepted so easily on here can they?? | |||
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"I love cheating, adds to the thrill" Will it be thrilling enough when you get caught by your spouse though? | |||
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"we all have different opinions and views but like i say if people dont like just dont chat to them " We agree. Opinions can still be voiced though. | |||
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"Was always told if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Some people should think about that. " We were also told honesty is always the best policy. Shame that things have changed, isn't it? ? | |||
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"Married for 10 years now and my wife decided she wanted little or no sex after the wedding day. We have had sex about 20 times in 10 years and it was bad sex. She is Asexual but will not admit to that and it’s only something I recently discovered. I spent years trying to FIX her not knowing what the problem was. It was hell on earth not having my sexuality recognised Drives me nuts when you hear similar stories and the normal responses are "talk to her / buy her flowers / go scrub the house clean". Never once have I encountered a guy who said "we used to have a rubbish sex live, but we talked about it and now we're at it like rabbits". Like you said, often there's an underlying reason like asexuality or a health issue that they don't want to get diagnosed and isn't going to go away no matter how many times you do the dishes. You really can’t blame people for this assumption.... As someone said above most swingers think cheaters are just greedy people.... Posters responding negatively in this thread are acting Like the cheating wife or husband has not tried to fix the problem in the marriage.... All these people think they know it all. Saying about others need to fix their problem, when maybe looking a lot closer to home, looking in the mirror, is what should be the answer. Simply because they can't accept dishonesty is wrong. Sad. I don’t believe that anyone thinks dishonesty is right, just for some it may be a necessity for whatever reason, as part of their personal choices in life. The world isn’t black and white. Being so close minded is an equally unattractive trait in my view. The world is never black and white we agree. A very small percentage of people cheating do have a genuine reason we totally agree, but the majority use that as an excuse and the sad thing is they know that but still shout up on here. And for the record, we are not bothered in the slightest who finds anything that we do unattractive. We would be concerned if we attracted the wrong type. It seems that opinions cannot be accepted so easily on here can they??" But it’s your choice, as adults to avoid them... You are perfectly entitled to your opinion, and to air it as much as you like, it’s just tiring to see constant negativity, especially when this specific thread was to do the opposite. But by all means continue if that’s what you enjoy! | |||
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"Was always told if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Some people should think about that. We were also told honesty is always the best policy. Shame that things have changed, isn't it? ?" Honesty can also be cruelty in certain contexts... | |||
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"Was always told if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Some people should think about that. We were also told honesty is always the best policy. Shame that things have changed, isn't it? ? Honesty can also be cruelty in certain contexts..." I totally agree, especially when the very essence of the thread is being forgotten because some people like to voice there opinions no matter what. | |||
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"Was always told if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Some people should think about that. We were also told honesty is always the best policy. Shame that things have changed, isn't it? ? Honesty can also be cruelty in certain contexts..." It can we agree totally , but people twist that concept to suit. Partnership are based on trust and honesty. | |||
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"Was always told if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Some people should think about that. We were also told honesty is always the best policy. Shame that things have changed, isn't it? ? Honesty can also be cruelty in certain contexts... I totally agree, especially when the very essence of the thread is being forgotten because some people like to voice there opinions no matter what. " Agreed. And it is getting very boring. It seems to me that the person/couple (Pandasomething, can’t remember the whole username) who has this battle against everyone else in this thread has a massive chip on their shoulder- maybe they haven’t got over an infidelity betrayal themselves? I agree it can be quite traumatic, but arguing with every single person on this thread on the highest moral horse is getting boring... shame you still see people’s posts even after blocking them. | |||
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"Swinging is the activity or act of a person who swings. Slang. the act or practice of being free and uninhibited sexually. the exchanging of spouses for sex. Nope, it doesn’t mention marital status.... Every case is different as we are all different, what works for some doesn’t work for others and it’s a damn shame that negativity is being brought out in this post from people that frankly if they don’t like it shouldn’t read it nor comment on it. It’s a swinging site, not a dating site, not a place to be morally and emotionally torn apart by amateur head fucks that think they are above others. Keep it real people. Fk sake, Covid 19 seems to be turning so many into base animals!!! One life, live it, enjoy it and ignore the turds that float along trying to spoil your sea of calm. " Spot on mate, nothing is ever quite as black and white as it seems. | |||
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"Swinging is the activity or act of a person who swings. Slang. the act or practice of being free and uninhibited sexually. the exchanging of spouses for sex. Nope, it doesn’t mention marital status.... " "the exchanging of spouses" inherently implies marital status. Whether you think it's wrong or not, cheating is cheating so let's just call it what it is instead of trying to dress it up as swinging. I'm on a swinging site but I would by no means describe myself as a swinger tbh. As for cheating, if you can live with your choices then so be it but you should accept that there are people who will look down on them, just as people incl. those who cheat would probably look down on some of the choices I make. Nobody is perfect. Personally I choose to avoid and block those who do it on purpose just because they want to/to get a kick out of it as it shows total disrespect for their partner. However there are many situations which are sensitive and require sympathy and understanding. As with many things there is a grey area. | |||
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"Was always told if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Some people should think about that. We were also told honesty is always the best policy. Shame that things have changed, isn't it? ? Honesty can also be cruelty in certain contexts... I totally agree, especially when the very essence of the thread is being forgotten because some people like to voice there opinions no matter what. " | |||
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"We're both married and on here call us greedy but it works for us "married to each other before I get the negative feedback | |||
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"Also those who are staying together for the kids... Just beware the effect it will have on your relationship with your kids should they ever find out. I found out when I was 18 that my dad had been having an affair for a number of years. It explained a number of things, mainly why my parents' formerly happy marriage had turned incredibly toxic after a certain very intense period of fighting and being sent to my room when I was a kid (my mum found out from my dad's family who knew and strongly disapproved). She didn't have the guts to go it alone with 4 kids so chose to stay with him despite me begging her to leave him all through my teens as I could see how unhappy she was and therefore it was causing me to resent him too and we ended up fighting a lot. When I found out the truth my dislike turned into absolute hatred. I refused to visit home at all as I couldn't bear to look at him. In the past couple of years I have had no other choice than to move back home and he has been very supportive and helpful through some of the worst times of my life so our relationship has mended somewhat. As far as I know he ended his affair shortly after I found out but I still have it in the back of my mind every so often that he betrayed all of us (he was supporting the other woman's two boys) in the worst way. Not meaning this to be a judgey post before everyone jumps on me. Just saying be careful of the effects you may unintentionally cause. " Indeed, telling us not to "judge" cheating as it it's just like, say, getting dressed up as a dog to have sex - some unusual but harmless activity - ignores the terrible effect it can have on others. | |||
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"Also those who are staying together for the kids... Just beware the effect it will have on your relationship with your kids should they ever find out. I found out when I was 18 that my dad had been having an affair for a number of years. It explained a number of things, mainly why my parents' formerly happy marriage had turned incredibly toxic after a certain very intense period of fighting and being sent to my room when I was a kid (my mum found out from my dad's family who knew and strongly disapproved). She didn't have the guts to go it alone with 4 kids so chose to stay with him despite me begging her to leave him all through my teens as I could see how unhappy she was and therefore it was causing me to resent him too and we ended up fighting a lot. When I found out the truth my dislike turned into absolute hatred. I refused to visit home at all as I couldn't bear to look at him. In the past couple of years I have had no other choice than to move back home and he has been very supportive and helpful through some of the worst times of my life so our relationship has mended somewhat. As far as I know he ended his affair shortly after I found out but I still have it in the back of my mind every so often that he betrayed all of us (he was supporting the other woman's two boys) in the worst way. Not meaning this to be a judgey post before everyone jumps on me. Just saying be careful of the effects you may unintentionally cause. " We have also seen this fallout. It isn't about the fact that that we have had infidelity in our relationship, it is because we have seen the damage it causes, and having to help with the fallout. 90% of the time cheating is selfish. Judging? No chance? Every cheat thinks he or she is not hurting someone. Sadly it is always the innocent ones that get hurt. | |||
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"but you are judging people n like its been said if you dont like just move on no need to message n be nasty to them" Can you please show where we are judging and being nasty?? We haven't been nasty to anyone. It seems so many people get offended about the word honesty. ... | |||
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"Also those who are staying together for the kids... Just beware the effect it will have on your relationship with your kids should they ever find out. I found out when I was 18 that my dad had been having an affair for a number of years. It explained a number of things, mainly why my parents' formerly happy marriage had turned incredibly toxic after a certain very intense period of fighting and being sent to my room when I was a kid (my mum found out from my dad's family who knew and strongly disapproved). She didn't have the guts to go it alone with 4 kids so chose to stay with him despite me begging her to leave him all through my teens as I could see how unhappy she was and therefore it was causing me to resent him too and we ended up fighting a lot. When I found out the truth my dislike turned into absolute hatred. I refused to visit home at all as I couldn't bear to look at him. In the past couple of years I have had no other choice than to move back home and he has been very supportive and helpful through some of the worst times of my life so our relationship has mended somewhat. As far as I know he ended his affair shortly after I found out but I still have it in the back of my mind every so often that he betrayed all of us (he was supporting the other woman's two boys) in the worst way. Not meaning this to be a judgey post before everyone jumps on me. Just saying be careful of the effects you may unintentionally cause. We have also seen this fallout. It isn't about the fact that that we have had infidelity in our relationship, it is because we have seen the damage it causes, and having to help with the fallout. 90% of the time cheating is selfish. Judging? No chance? Every cheat thinks he or she is not hurting someone. Sadly it is always the innocent ones that get hurt." Unfortunately even if you try to hide it from your kids they will always ultimately know something is going on. Even though I didn't know about my dad's cheating as a teen I could still feel the hatred my mother had towards him, no matter how much she tried to hide it. At the end of the day no 14/15 year old should be collating legal and financial advice on their mother's part in a bid to get their own parents to divorce because they feel that's the better option. My relationship with my dad is still very strained to this day, to the point we basically co-exist within the same house. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him tbh. I'm not saying this will happen in every case but it's a very real risk; that's one's personal decision to make. | |||
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"its each to their own and shouldnt be judged either way if people dont like just move on and find what your looking for" Who's judging? ? Since when was speaking about how important honesty judging? Maybe there are a fair few people on here who have problems with honesty?? Like everyone else on here, we are speaking our mind. | |||
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"its each to their own and shouldnt be judged either way if people dont like just move on and find what your looking for" Exactly this. If your so happy with your lives good for you. Now why not move on to the many negative threads about this subject and let just one forum thread be left for what it was intended | |||
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"its each to their own and shouldnt be judged either way if people dont like just move on and find what your looking for Who's judging? ? Since when was speaking about how important honesty judging? Maybe there are a fair few people on here who have problems with honesty?? Like everyone else on here, we are speaking our mind. " I really hope it doesn't hurt when you fall off your soap box | |||
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"its each to their own and shouldnt be judged either way if people dont like just move on and find what your looking for Who's judging? ? Since when was speaking about how important honesty judging? Maybe there are a fair few people on here who have problems with honesty?? Like everyone else on here, we are speaking our mind. I really hope it doesn't hurt when you fall off your soap box" Dont worry about us. Let's hope that families do not have to go through the hurt dishonesty causes. That's what people should really worry about. Families that these cheats say they love. What a strange way of showing that love... | |||
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"its each to their own and shouldnt be judged either way if people dont like just move on and find what your looking for" I don't think anybody here is judging. Personally I am not. I'm just trying to warn people of the risks. If I started a thread about how I'm obese and have no intention of doing anything about it (I do, but just as an example) then I'm sure lots of people would be trying to advise me, saying it's not for them and reminding me of the risks too. | |||
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"its each to their own and shouldnt be judged either way if people dont like just move on and find what your looking for Exactly this. If your so happy with your lives good for you. Now why not move on to the many negative threads about this subject and let just one forum thread be left for what it was intended " That's what a forum is about, debate. Some may see others comments as judgemental, but for some people cheating is seen as a very low blow, no matter what the 'accept my excuse and reasons' for doing it may be. Personally being cheated on still affects my self asteam even to this day from years ago, I go into black holes and have to climb out of them, so yes I'm obviously not a condoner of it no matter what. | |||
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