FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What makes a good first message?
What makes a good first message?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Interested in what people think makes a good first message. I've used various styles over my time on here, with varying degrees of success (ie getting at least a reply).
No doubting am in the majority being a single male, and females/couples can often be as choosy as they like, but genuinely interested in why you would select one guy over another based on the first mail.
(p.s. am not fed up with rejections and having a gripe - even though I have had my fair share. )
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"Interested in what people think makes a good first message. I've used various styles over my time on here, with varying degrees of success (ie getting at least a reply).
No doubting am in the majority being a single male, and females/couples can often be as choosy as they like, but genuinely interested in why you would select one guy over another based on the first mail.
(p.s. am not fed up with rejections and having a gripe - even though I have had my fair share. )
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A message addressed to BOTH persons when mailing a couple is a must!....be courteous, a face pic is always a must for us, and don't be over zealous....makes guys sound desperate.
'hiya, fancy a chat/want some fun/nice tits etc....will get you blocked faster than eating a dozen boiled eggs!
Have fun, x |
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"Interested in what people think makes a good first message. I've used various styles over my time on here, with varying degrees of success (ie getting at least a reply).
No doubting am in the majority being a single male, and females/couples can often be as choosy as they like, but genuinely interested in why you would select one guy over another based on the first mail.
(p.s. am not fed up with rejections and having a gripe - even though I have had my fair share. )
"
when I was on as a single guy I had a lot of success with a compliment to the lady and keeping it light hearted and not to long (about 6 lines )
I then asked them to look at my profile, and if they thought we were suited to reply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What makes a good first message?
[Removed by poster at 16/05/12 17:46:06]
Classic!"
I do see the irony in my first post. Couldn't work out how to edit the typos out! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure what I do tbh but I very rarely don't get a response. I think following any kind of system is apparent. On our couples profile Rach and I can spot that a mile off."
I wasn't looking for a system - I don't use one myself and try to write it having first read the profile. Also try and keep it light hearted. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Some evidence that my correspondent has a) read and b) inwardly digested my profile is a great start."
This^^^^^
Someone else also mentioned a compliment and that's good too....it's quickly apparent if someone has read my profile seeing as first line asks for a joke and a face pic, best message I ever got was off a guy who'd picked up on a good half dozen things outta my profile and had included references in a nice humourous opening message that made me laugh out loud....I reckon I can spot a generic cut/paste opening message from a mile off - guess that's why my block list is so big 
Good luck!  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Anything apart from 'Hi, How are you?'
God, what the hell am I meant to put to that? Fine thanks? Hmmm "
I remember an acronym I was told when replying I'm fine.....said it stands for Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Empty.....  |
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It's not only the message that's important, as you realise, and others point out - profile's need to be as good as possible too.
Your profile doesn't have any public photos in it, which will restrict you - those searching and landing on your page won't have a clue if they like you. Probably wise to get a selection of photos into your profile, even if they're not all public - but have some at least that are. Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anything apart from 'Hi, How are you?'
God, what the hell am I meant to put to that? Fine thanks? Hmmm
I remember an acronym I was told when replying I'm fine.....said it stands for Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Empty..... "
Men have two emotions - Hungry and Horny. If you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always read every email that is sent to us, and have had many, many mundane, ill thought out and frankly boring emails. We generally tend to check out the profile if someone has taken the time to write an email with a bit of zest to it.
Sort of " Hi, really , really liked your profile and read it all, before looking at your pics, which really having now seen, just reaffirms my thoughts that you both seem like lovely people and would be so pleased if you would take the time to have a look at my profile. I will of course send my face pics if you would like, and eagerly await your reply, even if it is a no. You guys have a great day and look forward to hearing from you.
That sort of thing really grabs our attention, he is talking to the both of us, not just the female. Respect, Respect is what it is all about.  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Interested in what people think makes a good first message. "
I'm afraid it really does depend on my mood, time of the month, what the weather has been like, what meets I've had lately, and so on. A message that wouldn't catch my eye one day might be just what I am looking for the next.
The factors in all of the ones I'd reply to though are a face pic, and a chatty friendly message, more than one line, but not a copy & paste fantasy or a life history. Also, some indication they've read my profile would be nice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We always read every email that is sent to us, and have had many, many mundane, ill thought out and frankly boring emails. We generally tend to check out the profile if someone has taken the time to write an email with a bit of zest to it.
Sort of " Hi, really , really liked your profile and read it all, before looking at your pics, which really having now seen, just reaffirms my thoughts that you both seem like lovely people and would be so pleased if you would take the time to have a look at my profile. I will of course send my face pics if you would like, and eagerly await your reply, even if it is a no. You guys have a great day and look forward to hearing from you.
That sort of thing really grabs our attention, he is talking to the both of us, not just the female. Respect, Respect is what it is all about. "
Was tempted to send that right back to you privately, but thought you might just see through that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm think that we might just see through that one, plus because you had not used your imagination and wrote your own, we would have deleted. hahaha sorry.. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Hmmm think that we might just see through that one, plus because you had not used your imagination and wrote your own, we would have deleted. hahaha sorry.."
I suspect there will be a few people getting that message later tonight though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm think that we might just see through that one, plus because you had not used your imagination and wrote your own, we would have deleted. hahaha sorry..
I suspect there will be a few people getting that message later tonight though. "
Awe well hope it works for them, glad we could help. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmmm think that we might just see through that one, plus because you had not used your imagination and wrote your own, we would have deleted. hahaha sorry.."
Plagiarism is alive and well. (Not from me tho, ) |
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i really dont think it matters what is put in 1st message the lassies need to be attrated to you physically .
by all means be light hearted and polite speak to both in the couple and always be respectful
but above all else be handsome
Do you know what message i have sent that has got me most responses and it is cut and pasted and works maybe 10% of times is this one
pick a card any one you want from my imaginary pack remember it and pop it back in pack tell me when you have done this ps if you select 4 of Diamonds it will help me look very clever later on
i am not bitter or worried having been on this site 4 years i understand the way it works and know when i send messages i am unlikely to get responses |
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"i really dont think it matters what is put in 1st message the lassies need to be attrated to you physically .
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Na, you just need to say you're VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVWE and can schedule them in later that night. Irresistible! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple must say a message for both of us is a must . We also like people to tell us little about them in first message. Often get.messages for me heavenly with no mention of hubby. Messages saying fancy a fucj just get deleted. Polite and well written messages are a must. Hate text speak . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Readin my profile first n makin sure u fit my criteria... If u do then send a message with a face pic if i met u out in public u wudnt walk up and shove ur cock in my face before sayin hello :-/ lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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work on your profile first and how convieniant you are to others, not having public photos is first negatitve thing about your profile, second is not being able to accomodate.
once you got a better profile, one that makes the lady look and think phroar i must reply to this guy, then your messages wont have to be as amazing to you replies, where if you have a shit profile you have to be lucky or have the most amazing message to stand a chance of getting replies |
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What I was interested in was what did make a good introduction.