FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I always look pissed due to disability
I always look pissed due to disability
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I alway look pissed due to a serious car cash which drought on a stroke!
I didn't realise this was an issue till last night. So i didnt get to chat to many people at club f. Can anyone offer some advise! I'm thinking of putting it in my personal description, would that help? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have 4 excellent verifications all given in the last two weeks from women/couples you've met/played with at Club F, that's good going by anyone's standard!
I think your unneccassarily worrying.
Keep up the good work  |
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Most people are here to fulfil a fantasy. From the pics on your profile I can see a few ladies wanting to make a wish.  Therefore, I think anything that would "shatter" that fantasy should be mentioned, to allow people to make an informed choice. It's much better to be honest up front than to meet and people say no.
Another point to remember, accept you'll never appeal to everyone and people are not shallow if they don't wish to play with you.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm "normal" but I look really unsteady when I walk.
I do lots of Physio and training but I always look as tho I'm stumbling around ha
Thanx for the nice comments
x |
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"I alway look pissed due to a serious car cash which drought on a stroke!
I didn't realise this was an issue till last night. So i didnt get to chat to many people at club f. Can anyone offer some advise! I'm thinking of putting it in my personal description, would that help?"
i didnt notice....are u sure someone wasnt taking the piss? There are quite a few ppl who go to clubf parties who would say sommat like that, its one of the reasons we dont do party nights any more. |
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If you have the confidence then get chatting to lots of people during the socialising stage. That way you have the opportunity to get yourself and your situation known.
Then if someone does say to a friend that you look d*unk and they're not sure about playing with you there is more chance of the friend saying 'oh no, that's xxx he's sober, he was in an accident, he's a great guy'. |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
@op it's up to you what you put in your profile, but you do run the gauntlet when you do that. I have a 'hidden disability' which not seen from the outside normally surfaces occasionally and I don't mention that, except to good friends as even in 2012 it still has a lot of stigma attached to it.
Best of luck though, cos I know how difficult it can make things.
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its good that you mentioned that, because people dont always know about these things. i once met a man off another site, he didnt tell me he had a dissability, after we had sex he told me he had brittle bone disease and that after having sex he is in pain. nice pants by the way.  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
if that is what they say about you, they probably say worst things about a larger black guy who goes to a club... do i let it both me.... not in the slightest!! I control what I can control...
what I will say about last night is there were a lot more single guys there last night who were doing the towel twitching zombie patrolling thing... and i don't know if you were one of them....
what i will say is that it didn't feel like a normal party night, and i know a few of the couple felt imtimidated by the men roaming in packs..... |
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"if that is what they say about you, they probably say worst things about a larger black guy who goes to a club... do i let it both me.... not in the slightest!! I control what I can control...
what I will say about last night is there were a lot more single guys there last night who were doing the towel twitching zombie patrolling thing... and i don't know if you were one of them....
what i will say is that it didn't feel like a normal party night, and i know a few of the couple felt imtimidated by the men roaming in packs....."
bugger i might have gone  |
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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago
southampton |
"I alway look pissed due to a serious car cash which drought on a stroke!
I didn't realise this was an issue till last night. So i didnt get to chat to many people at club f. Can anyone offer some advise! I'm thinking of putting it in my personal description, would that help?"
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. It sounds like you are a very genuine and nice guy, so I'd say that you could just explain what you have said here when you first meet people so then you are sure they don't get the wrong impression. Personally, I would gladly spend time with you at a club once I understood your situation and I like to think that the majority of my fellow swingers would feel the same way. |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"
what I will say about last night is there were a lot more single guys there last night who were doing the towel twitching zombie patrolling thing... "
did they have the leering grin that you only ever see in advanced cases? 
Wolf
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"
what I will say about last night is there were a lot more single guys there last night who were doing the towel twitching zombie patrolling thing...
did they have the leering grin that you only ever see in advanced cases?
Wolf
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And that twitch guilty furtive look when the briefly catch your eye then look away  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm "normal" but I look really unsteady when I walk.
I do lots of Physio and training but I always look as tho I'm stumbling around ha
Thanx for the nice comments
x"
To be honest pal .... anyone who cant accept that or thinks it's something to criticise/mock isnt worth knowing anyway
Appreciate it's easy for me to say but I wouldnt worry about it |
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"I'm "normal" but I look really unsteady when I walk.
I do lots of Physio and training but I always look as tho I'm stumbling around ha
Thanx for the nice comments
x
To be honest pal .... anyone who cant accept that or thinks it's something to criticise/mock isnt worth knowing anyway
Appreciate it's easy for me to say but I wouldnt worry about it"
we all have different criteria for who we choose to play with, many of us avoid those under the influence. so if by being sociable and getting known the op can correct the assumption then he's bound to be more successful. Even if he doesn't always get to play he will be welcomed as a watcher far more readily - instead of those furtive towel zombies... |
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As someone who works with people with learning difficulties, post-stroke injuries and other problems, there is a degree of ignorance out there, as well as- thankfully - a diminishing level of thoughtlessness and people are sometimes hurtful.
The issue that springs to mind if you cover something on your profile is that you can include a basic fact, but probably it wouldn't be the place to cover enough material that would educate etc. For this reason, I'd probably wait until you had potential partners, and then inform them appropriately. Most people will only need to know how it may affect them, and in this instance it seems that you may only engender others to be concerned that you may have been drinking, which doesn't necessarily have a major impact on anyone else's life/fulfillment.
Overall, people don't feel the need largely to inform others of their eyesight difficulties, where they need corrective measures, as it doesn't affect others in what they do and experience, it's just the person themselves that's affected. It's a little similar with your problems, the major thing being arousing potential concern for you, or being unsure if they're with someone who's d*unk a little.
These are my first thoughts, but overall it depends on the type of people you'll be meeting. The majority of swingers seem to be decent, respectful and considerate, and the actual measure of their problem with how you seem may be very slight. Very few of us would want to be associated with anyone who was insensitive, was derogatory towards others, and you'll likely very quickly get a feel whether you want to pursue interest in others after short amounts of communication, when you may choose to divulge what you have to us.
It's a very personal decision, and you could always experiment with what/how/when you communicate, to see what works best.
Good luck! |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
Just a suggestion and my sincere apologies if this upsets the OP or anyone else, but why don`t you try walking with a stick? I`m sure you don`t need it and I hope you never do but it may focus attention on why you`re walking awkwardly. My friend has to use a stick when she`s at Chams at it doesn`t hinder her one bit at it doesn`t seem to put people off approaching her for fun!
Once again, my sincere apologies if this is insensitive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There's no offence taken at all, I throw my stick away in protest once I could walk unaided haha.
I want to say thank you to every one who responded. It's very reassuring to know. I would never hide my impairment if questioned.
So moving forward I'm going to be open about it from the start, saying it with the confidence that's it's mearly a conversation starter.
Thank you again guys
x
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"There's no offence taken at all, I throw my stick away in protest once I could walk unaided haha.
I want to say thank you to every one who responded. It's very reassuring to know. I would never hide my impairment if questioned.
So moving forward I'm going to be open about it from the start, saying it with the confidence that's it's mearly a conversation starter.
Thank you again guys
x
"
Good luck honey and have fun! |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"........... I throw my stick away in protest once I could walk unaided haha. ....................
"
Glad to see you`ve made progress! Let`s hope you are able to improve further! My Mum also suffered a stroke but it was thankfully only a very slight one. It`s still left her with some mobility problems and some issues with incontinence. Has she`s in her 80`s her chances of improving are small but thankfully it has only really hindered her confidence to go out alone more than anything else. |
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