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Femmedommes where are you?
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"You're on the wrong site for that. You need to go on the other well known fetish dedicated website to find a plethora of Dommes x"
It’s not necessarily the wrong site, there are plenty of kinky people on here.
Having said that, OP, there probably are Dommes on here, but they’re probably fairly rare - solo women are a relatively small group here, women with more specialised interests who are near you may be few or non-existant. Male “Doms” are 10 a penny, but as with everything there are fewer women. So the “other site” might be a better place to look if you’re struggling here. |
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By *gcw2014Couple
over a year ago
just outside of liverpool |
Pity you arent around this area as townhouse has munch events. Where you can chat to fellow kinksters. Would love to find a non pro domme myself for regular play but not that easy. When it's back open again I will.be looking to.go to more munch events and hopefully the bdsm events...chris |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
On a general level there are very few dommes compared to the number of male subs. That is both here on Fab and certainly in the London and Home Counties BDSM scene, and I suspect UK generally. The number of available dommes is reduced by excluding those who require financial tributes. Then reduced by finding one whose interests meet yours.
I would also challenge doms being 10 a penny. I have met a number of subs that can't find a dom.
The issue is not the number of doms/dommes but finding one that is right for the individual. Conversely doms/dommes have difficulty have problems finding the right sub.
Possibly the sex based kinksters may find things easier.
I have threads on the other site where non professional dommes have criticised the expectations potential subs have of them. Particularly the expectation of doing pegging. |
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"On a general level there are very few dommes compared to the number of male subs. That is both here on Fab and certainly in the London and Home Counties BDSM scene, and I suspect UK generally. The number of available dommes is reduced by excluding those who require financial tributes. Then reduced by finding one whose interests meet yours.
I would also challenge doms being 10 a penny. I have met a number of subs that can't find a dom.
The issue is not the number of doms/dommes but finding one that is right for the individual. Conversely doms/dommes have difficulty have problems finding the right sub.
Possibly the sex based kinksters may find things easier.
I have threads on the other site where non professional dommes have criticised the expectations potential subs have of them. Particularly the expectation of doing pegging."
Notice that I said “Doms”. Meaning that I consider them to be Christian Grey wannabes and not real Doms at all. Good ones are in short supply but idiots who could do us permanent damage physically and psychologically are crawling all over this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Notice that I said “Doms”. Meaning that I consider them to be Christian Grey wannabes and not real Doms at all. Good ones are in short supply but idiots who could do us permanent damage physically and psychologically are crawling all over this site."
Reminds me of a topic last week where someone said doms can't be feminist because they respect women too much so they can't use them "as a worthless toy" 
Too many men (and some women) confuse dominance with arrogance and disrespect, they forget that someone *chooses* to sumbit to them. |
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"Notice that I said “Doms”. Meaning that I consider them to be Christian Grey wannabes and not real Doms at all. Good ones are in short supply but idiots who could do us permanent damage physically and psychologically are crawling all over this site.
Reminds me of a topic last week where someone said doms can't be feminist because they respect women too much so they can't use them "as a worthless toy"
Too many men (and some women) confuse dominance with arrogance and disrespect, they forget that someone *chooses* to sumbit to them."
I’ve recently seen someone’s profile on here that heavily implied that there’s something wrong with you if you’re into D/s because they seemed to equate it with abuse  |
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By *igwilly2kMan
over a year ago
The Land of Kink! |
Some very good points in this thread I'm also on the other Kinky site begennjg with F and rhimjng with wife!
I've subbed a few times, and it's definitly better when there a click and you both get on. However saying that I'm now back on the market and looking for a local Kinky northwest couple or domme to submit to. Anyone's interested give me a shout! Xx   |
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By *ne4meMan
over a year ago
London |
I’d agree that it is very difficult to find a genuine FemDomme that enjoys the role for the dynamic between the two individuals. I was hoping on here that there would be those into this part of the lifestyle.
The other site was disappointing in that all the interactions I had were demanding money to be the FemDom role which is completely against the dynamic I was expecting |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"On a general level there are very few dommes compared to the number of male subs. That is both here on Fab and certainly in the London and Home Counties BDSM scene, and I suspect UK generally. The number of available dommes is reduced by excluding those who require financial tributes. Then reduced by finding one whose interests meet yours.
I would also challenge doms being 10 a penny. I have met a number of subs that can't find a dom.
The issue is not the number of doms/dommes but finding one that is right for the individual. Conversely doms/dommes have difficulty have problems finding the right sub.
Possibly the sex based kinksters may find things easier.
I have threads on the other site where non professional dommes have criticised the expectations potential subs have of them. Particularly the expectation of doing pegging.
Notice that I said “Doms”. Meaning that I consider them to be Christian Grey wannabes and not real Doms at all. Good ones are in short supply but idiots who could do us permanent damage physically and psychologically are crawling all over this site."
Thank you for your comment.
I don't disagree that there are a number of people that identify as doms (and also dommes but there are not so many of them) that cause "permanent damage physically and psychologically".
I just find that dividing doms (and subs) into true/fake doms and true/fake subs is unhelpful.
Firstly because people tend to call anyone they did not get on with fake when there is a simple mismatch of expectations.
Secondly I think "abusive dom/mes" would be more apt where someone regularly and systematically causes harm. This helps distinguish from the situation where there is a mismatch of expectations, or play that causes harm accidentally or due to lack of skill and is not handled correctly and sympathetically.
When I commented on the true/fake point on another thread I received the response that the abusers use the term "dom" to meet the subs. However this does not make them fake as I have seen too many situations where a dom is praised by some and damned by others. Also of respected doms that have been on the scene for years being outed as abusers. If someone is abused on a swinging date you would not refer to the abuser as a fake swinger. You would call them an abuser.
My view and suggestion is to keep the words true and fake out of it,
and just state people with certain behaviours are to be avoided. That being said I am also wary of general lumping people into a brackets without looking at individual interactions.However I have seen and heard too many bad things that have been done to female subs to be too precious about the stereotyping of types of male doms.
The real point I suppose is that the true/fake terms is a comfort blanket. The issues are to provide subs with the tools and education to play safely and have their needs met. Also to educate doms to: be clear on what they are expecting and providing; understand consent, respect and boundaries; be skilled or obtain the skills to do any sensation play.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OP a couple of points that may help - firstly you've only been on here 6 weeks, which is barely any time at all to meet anyone, let alone a unicorn of the kink world, a Domme looking for a male submissive.
Experience has taught me, as a male submissive that you don't "go looking" for a Domme, and a Domme doesn't necessarily come looking for you, more you find each other through building a connection and chemistry and finding you are aligned in the way you think and thr dynamic you are both looking for.
If you've not already (I've not looked) I'd suggest you make sure your profile reflects your submissive desires but not necessarily in an overt way - subtlety can go a long way.
Oh and follow some of the very good advice already offered on this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a general level there are very few dommes compared to the number of male subs. That is both here on Fab and certainly in the London and Home Counties BDSM scene, and I suspect UK generally. The number of available dommes is reduced by excluding those who require financial tributes. Then reduced by finding one whose interests meet yours.
I would also challenge doms being 10 a penny. I have met a number of subs that can't find a dom.
The issue is not the number of doms/dommes but finding one that is right for the individual. Conversely doms/dommes have difficulty have problems finding the right sub.
Possibly the sex based kinksters may find things easier.
I have threads on the other site where non professional dommes have criticised the expectations potential subs have of them. Particularly the expectation of doing pegging.
Notice that I said “Doms”. Meaning that I consider them to be Christian Grey wannabes and not real Doms at all. Good ones are in short supply but idiots who could do us permanent damage physically and psychologically are crawling all over this site."
+1 Most of the people don't understand the dangers involved in real D/s sessions. I have known dominants who take classes on using ropes, pegging and CBT. They know what they are doing. There are also some people who have no clue about what they are doing. I generally go to fetish parties and watch the dommes in action and then ask for a session with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've found subs on here, and a lot easier than I've found on the other site. There are actually more people with profiles on both sites than I envisaged. I'm a sadistic femdom into impact play  |
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