FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No replies
No replies
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
"It's just a widely uneven ration of men to women. Even so that doesn't excuse rudeness on our behalf."
It's not rude to not reply.
It's in the site faqs that no reply=no thankyou.
No one here is entitled to my time, or anything else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a situation where I can't accommodate.... let's just say I'm helping look after an elderly couple "
Im in the same boat but i totally get it puts people off and fully respect that.
Polite and respectful will always be my approach if it works then bonus, if it doesn't then heyho |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As most, if not all of those you message will check out your profile before even thinking of reading your message, that's where you really need to focus your effort and attention and make sure that your profile is absolutely the best that it can possibly be. It is your shop window. Your one and only chance to make a first impression.
You also have to bear in mind that, after reading someones profile, you may feel that you tick all their boxes / meet all of their requirements - but they still have to fancy you.
There is no exact science.
You've only been here three weeks. Most single guys won't get their first meet until they've been here between 6 months and a year.
You need to think about what your expectations of the site were when you joined - and then realign them.
Single guys MASSIVELY outnumber women and couples here, so you really need to stand out.
Throwing down a couple of lines of text and uploading a couple of pictures is NOT going to have the women beating a path to your door.
If your profile looks like you have put zero effort into it, then people will naturally assume that you will apply just as little effort into a meet.
Obviously, I have no idea of what you're putting in your messages, but, if your profile is anything to go by, I can probably make a fair assumption. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's just a widely uneven ration of men to women. Even so that doesn't excuse rudeness on our behalf.
It's not rude to not reply.
It's in the site faqs that no reply=no thankyou.
No one here is entitled to my time, or anything else. "
I get that but it can make people feel really bad...
I know I'm not blessed in the looks dept but 99 % of every message results in the same scenario.. oh well
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
"Still doesn't take long to say thanks but no but then I probably don't get the amount of messages you do!!!  "
I get maybe 5-10 a day. I use the filters to prevent the majority. Profile clearly states my preferences and that I will just delete if they don't match.
Also if you reply to all, they then get passed your filters even if you change them.
Do you reply to all junkmail? Phone and tell them you don't want a conservatory? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's just a widely uneven ration of men to women. Even so that doesn't excuse rudeness on our behalf.
It's not rude to not reply.
It's in the site faqs that no reply=no thankyou.
No one here is entitled to my time, or anything else.
I get that but it can make people feel really bad...
I know I'm not blessed in the looks dept but 99 % of every message results in the same scenario.. oh well
"
Would an inbox full of 'No thanks' really make you feel any better? 
I very much doubt it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Still doesn't take long to say thanks but no but then I probably don't get the amount of messages you do!!! "
I can imagine many women not wishing to send 100 no thank you messages every time they login.
To the OP, do you phone up every company that sends a flyer through your door to say no thanks....
I bet you don't so why do you expect different on here? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
"It's just a widely uneven ration of men to women. Even so that doesn't excuse rudeness on our behalf.
It's not rude to not reply.
It's in the site faqs that no reply=no thankyou.
No one here is entitled to my time, or anything else.
I get that but it can make people feel really bad...
I know I'm not blessed in the looks dept but 99 % of every message results in the same scenario.. oh well
Would an inbox full of 'No thanks' really make you feel any better?
I very much doubt it"
I did reply to most to start with. The amount that then reply to thank for the reply, to ask why not, to try to convince me I should meet them, or just to be rude, was ridiculous. Cba, I'll use my time how I wish too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah o know... it was a nice polite profile at 1st but deleted it .... dont know what to put anymore.. "
Your almost empty profile would have me reaching for the delete button. Your pics and amazing ass would have me replying
Seriously...sort a decent profile, go to socials, send great original messages and you should see some replies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You can blame other guys for you getting no reply at all.
When I first joined here I used to send a polite no thanks to messages if the person wasn't for me.
Then you get one of three things back.
1 The nice guys. They say thanks for the reply and leave it there.
2 The desparados. Who spend the next hour sending message after message asking why and what can they do to change your mind. (They then get blocked and then put up a status to complain about being blocked)
3 The abusers. Who send a nasty messages saying how I am a fat ugly bitch who they only asked for a meet because they felt sorry for me. (Again another block but leaving me feeling bad about myself)
Sadly groups 2 and 3 are the most common so it is easier, less time consuming and better for my self confidence to simply not reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah o know... it was a nice polite profile at 1st but deleted it .... dont know what to put anymore..
Your almost empty profile would have me reaching for the delete button. Your pics and amazing ass would have me replying
Seriously...sort a decent profile, go to socials, send great original messages and you should see some replies."
Noted... I'll try and think of something.. I'm not great at selling myself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You can blame other guys for you getting no reply at all.
When I first joined here I used to send a polite no thanks to messages if the person wasn't for me.
Then you get one of three things back.
1 The nice guys. They say thanks for the reply and leave it there.
2 The desparados. Who spend the next hour sending message after message asking why and what can they do to change your mind. (They then get blocked and then put up a status to complain about being blocked)
3 The abusers. Who send a nasty messages saying how I am a fat ugly bitch who they only asked for a meet because they felt sorry for me. (Again another block but leaving me feeling bad about myself)
Sadly groups 2 and 3 are the most common so it is easier, less time consuming and better for my self confidence to simply not reply. "
Yes I hear you... I'm in category 1....
I'll work on my profile. Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do women like nice messages ?
I'm always polite and courteous but get ignored.
Ok so I'm no Adonis but surely I'm not THAT bad ? Maybe I am.
"
I had a message from someone, who had obviously not read my profile.
Being a male, I'm not inundated with emails, so sent a short reply explaining the reasons why it was a no.
Some from my profile, some from his.
This caused more emails telling me the complete opposite to what it said in the profile hoping to change my mind.
Now imagine that with fifty or a hundred men messaging a single woman.
So don't take lack of replies personally, just polish your profile, try going to social events or clubs and don't fall into the 'cut & paste' culture, which clogs up the email system for everybody.
Also "polite & courteous" applies to most guys here. Until they get a mail reply saying 'no thanks', and then quite a few, throw a tantrum and insult the lady who said no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok... added a bit to profile"
Profiles hard to write never pleases everyone. Think what qualities you have.. what you like.. Would you chose you?
Your first pic I only saw background.. Your second pic is better.
Again takes lots of thought.. And still no meets... Whatever you do.. Be you.. Show your character through your profile.
Good luck
Its a journey not a race |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok... added a bit to profile
Profiles hard to write never pleases everyone. Think what qualities you have.. what you like.. Would you chose you?
Your first pic I only saw background.. Your second pic is better.
Again takes lots of thought.. And still no meets... Whatever you do.. Be you.. Show your character through your profile.
Good luck
Its a journey not a race "
Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do women like nice messages ?
I'm always polite and courteous but get ignored.
Ok so I'm no Adonis but surely I'm not THAT bad ? Maybe I am.
I had a message from someone, who had obviously not read my profile.
Being a male, I'm not inundated with emails, so sent a short reply explaining the reasons why it was a no.
Some from my profile, some from his.
This caused more emails telling me the complete opposite to what it said in the profile hoping to change my mind.
Now imagine that with fifty or a hundred men messaging a single woman.
So don't take lack of replies personally, just polish your profile, try going to social events or clubs and don't fall into the 'cut & paste' culture, which clogs up the email system for everybody.
Also "polite & courteous" applies to most guys here. Until they get a mail reply saying 'no thanks', and then quite a few, throw a tantrum and insult the lady who said no."
I get that ta m8.... I'll try and rephrase |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do women like nice messages ?
I'm always polite and courteous but get ignored.
Ok so I'm no Adonis but surely I'm not THAT bad ? Maybe I am.
"
You've been on 3 weeks, it's never personal it's just a numbers game.
Lower your expectations and carry on meeting women away from fab in the normal way and treat a fab meet as a bonus if it happens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always reply and 99.9% of men reply with a thank you and in the months we have been on here I think we have had one PRICK and one DICKHEAD reply so for one I’d say the men of fab are very polite indeed.
All the information of what we are looking for is on our profile so our knock backs are mainly because of not being a good fit.
So sort your profile out and ignore the knock backs and just try to enjoy your time on here!!
T |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You seem very polite op, but thank the rest of the dickhead crew on here.
We politely said you're not for us to a guy who said he wanted to come round to our hotel to pin me on the bed and shag me and i was only allowed to suck his dick as he didn't want to kiss me if I sucked the fellas dick. Obviously told him no, and then the torrent of abuse starts. Yes we blocked and move on, but it just gets relentlessly boring after a while, so surely you understand why a silent ignore is better for all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You seem very polite op, but thank the rest of the dickhead crew on here.
We politely said you're not for us to a guy who said he wanted to come round to our hotel to pin me on the bed and shag me and i was only allowed to suck his dick as he didn't want to kiss me if I sucked the fellas dick. Obviously told him no, and then the torrent of abuse starts. Yes we blocked and move on, but it just gets relentlessly boring after a while, so surely you understand why a silent ignore is better for all. "
Yes ok so silent ignore is best i spose... what an idiot passing up you too though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do women like nice messages ?
I'm always polite and courteous but get ignored.
Ok so I'm no Adonis but surely I'm not THAT bad ? Maybe I am.
"
If the rule is no answer means not interested.... Then wouldn't it be a waste of time answering to all 50 plus messages a day saying no thanks? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's just a widely uneven ration of men to women. Even so that doesn't excuse rudeness on our behalf.
It's not rude to not reply.
It's in the site faqs that no reply=no thankyou.
No one here is entitled to my time, or anything else.
I get that but it can make people feel really bad...
I know I'm not blessed in the looks dept but 99 % of every message results in the same scenario.. oh well
"
I see you're in Plymouth ; it's worth noting that the male to female ratio is worse than usual in this part of the world and there are definitely way fewer single women, seems to me like its mostly couples down here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So let's say, i wont be rude and i spend 1 hour a day saying "no thanks"
Then 50% to 70% ask why i said no thanks
So i spend a further 2 hours reading through their profiles and giving them at least one reason why I'm not reason
Then 40% will reply back saying "but what if...."
And after all that 30 % will just continue sending copy and paste messages as they forgetten they messaged you afew days ago. Or even worst beg you to change your mind. Where i could been spending my free time flirting and meeting a guy i want to meet
So can you see why FAB wrote that rule of no answer usually means “no thanks“?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's just a widely uneven ration of men to women. Even so that doesn't excuse rudeness on our behalf.
It's not rude to not reply.
It's in the site faqs that no reply=no thankyou.
No one here is entitled to my time, or anything else.
I get that but it can make people feel really bad...
I know I'm not blessed in the looks dept but 99 % of every message results in the same scenario.. oh well
Would an inbox full of 'No thanks' really make you feel any better?
I very much doubt it"
Ohhh a man that speaks sense
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do women like nice messages ?
I'm always polite and courteous but get ignored.
Ok so I'm no Adonis but surely I'm not THAT bad ? Maybe I am.
I had a message from someone, who had obviously not read my profile.
Being a male, I'm not inundated with emails, so sent a short reply explaining the reasons why it was a no.
Some from my profile, some from his.
This caused more emails telling me the complete opposite to what it said in the profile hoping to change my mind.
Now imagine that with fifty or a hundred men messaging a single woman.
So don't take lack of replies personally, just polish your profile, try going to social events or clubs and don't fall into the 'cut & paste' culture, which clogs up the email system for everybody.
Also "polite & courteous" applies to most guys here. Until they get a mail reply saying 'no thanks', and then quite a few, throw a tantrum and insult the lady who said no."
I can confirm that, even alot of the apparent nice genuine guys take a no thanks very badly, puts alot of women off bothering to reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Obviously don't do this just at the moment but see if you can’t get yourself to a social or a club, it’s a great ice breaker and can help.
We wish you luck OP."
Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s far better to not bother replying than sending a no thanks message. Even a no thanks is opening up a line of communication for some guys. And then there’s always the insults when you say no. It’s not rude on there behalf, it’s just you aren’t the guy for them at that moment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We specifically request that messages are accompanied by a face picture from the sender, just as we will always send a picture or two of ourselves when sending an initial message.
If the sender doesn’t bother then we assume they haven’t read our profile or that they’re ‘flying solo with permission from air traffic control’ so to speak. In those cases we don’t bother to respond. We always respond to those who do take the trouble to send a pic, even if to decline. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arkBlueBWoman
over a year ago
Central Bath |
"We specifically request that messages are accompanied by a face picture from the sender, just as we will always send a picture or two of ourselves when sending an initial message.
If the sender doesn’t bother then we assume they haven’t read our profile or that they’re ‘flying solo with permission from air traffic control’ so to speak. In those cases we don’t bother to respond. We always respond to those who do take the trouble to send a pic, even if to decline. "
Single F here and I’m the same about face picture in initial message. No picture = automatic delete.
Also about accommodation, I get that you can’t and why. I also request in my profile that men are able to accommodate locally to me: from someone in your case I appreciate a line in the initial message addressing the situation, like offering to book a hotel, just to show that you’ve read my profile and that you’ve thought things through.
Good luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
x