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Hate secrets
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex.."
But if you've been on a “few” dates and you say you hate secrets, how is it supposed to progress when your not being honest from the off.
If you was dating me and i found out further down the line that you was already on here and dating me then i would say ta ta.
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"Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex.."
If that's the case it's probably likely she'd not be sympathetic to your alternative life, personally I'd hang fire as it's still early days and if your feelings for her consider whether youd give up this lifestyle. |
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"Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex..
But if you've been on a “few” dates and you say you hate secrets, how is it supposed to progress when your not being honest from the off.
If you was dating me and i found out further down the line that you was already on here and dating me then i would say ta ta.
"
Yeah ok I guess that makes sense so when you start dating you think it's best to let potential partners know as soon as possible? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she made you choose.... would you choose her?
After only a few dates I don't think I would as I use this site for many different reasons"
Think you may have answered your own question then..... doesn't matter what reasons you use to be on here, your here and shes oblivious.
Tough call but dishonesty will always shed bad light |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
I suppose it depends what you're looking for in the long term, would you eventually leave here if she was "the one" or do you want a swinging relationship? I wouldn't rush into telling her anything at this stage if it's only been a couple of dates. |
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"If she made you choose.... would you choose her?
After only a few dates I don't think I would as I use this site for many different reasons
Think you may have answered your own question then..... doesn't matter what reasons you use to be on here, your here and shes oblivious.
Tough call but dishonesty will always shed bad light"
Agree  |
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"I suppose it depends what you're looking for in the long term, would you eventually leave here if she was "the one" or do you want a swinging relationship? I wouldn't rush into telling her anything at this stage if it's only been a couple of dates. "
My original thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you say a few????
3 tobe precise"
Our advice (and not necessarily the right advice) if you've been on 3 meals/dates then there is obviously a mutual attraction and think you should come off here and see where it goes.
Swinging should never win over happiness and destiny lol |
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"When you say a few????
3 tobe precise
Our advice (and not necessarily the right advice) if you've been on 3 meals/dates then there is obviously a mutual attraction and think you should come off here and see where it goes.
Swinging should never win over happiness and destiny lol"
Thank you for you're advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hide your profile for a bit, give the lady a chance.
You never know, she could enjoy this lifestyle too, once you get to know her and you feel confident about mentioning it.
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I guess it depends on what you use this site for, Whether it has been simply to get hook ups for sex or whether you see swinging as part of your lifestyle.
Would you hope that if the relationship develops she might be up for swinging? if that's the case I'd be honest & upfront now, because if she's totally not interested then you'd need to decide if you'd be willing to take a step back from the lifestyle for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you can't be honest with someone, they ain't for you
I feel like I can be honest but not sure if im jumping the gun.. "
Wait to see how it pans out first. I don't think you have to say anything until you are an actual couple. Even then I wouldn't say anything unless you planned to stay on here. If you leave then I don't think there is any need to say anything. |
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Stay on here maybe hide profile or don't arrange any new meets.
See her for a bit if things feel like they are going somewhere then tell her or just delete and don't say anything.
I assume you met her through normal avenue ie friend of a friend or something, or a dating site? |
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I think it depends how important this lifestyle is to you. If it’s something that you’ll want to continue going forward, then you may as well tell her. If she’s not into it, then she’s not for you.
If you could give this up and never look back then hide your profile. Log out and don’t come back on here unless it doesn’t work with her.
Just don’t be the guy who doesn’t both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you can't be honest with someone, they ain't for you
I feel like I can be honest but not sure if im jumping the gun.. "
There is no such thing when it comes to honesty |
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"I haven’t read through the comments, so apologies if this has already been mentioned...
You never know she may also be on here  $
I’m curious to ask are you hoping to swing together long term?
That would be the ideal scenario
"
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In past relationships, how open have you been about your previous partners?
And how well did that go?
If you want an exclusive relationship, keep quiet, or bring it up as you would in any other relationship.
But, as you stated you want a swinging relationship, bring it up sooner rather than later.
Might fall apart immediately or later, but you won't end up in a relationship where you're not happy. |
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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
"Juat be totally honest and upfront about it."
If swinging is something you intend to continue then.. This
If you are willing to put it aside.. forever possibly if she is not Interested... Then put the account on hold and delete? |
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"In past relationships, how open have you been about your previous partners?
And how well did that go?
If you want an exclusive relationship, keep quiet, or bring it up as you would in any other relationship.
But, as you stated you want a swinging relationship, bring it up sooner rather than later.
Might fall apart immediately or later, but you won't end up in a relationship where you're not happy."
Good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At some stage during the early days of dating, history comes up. I’d be open and say you’ve got a colourful past which includes you being on a swinging site.
If her reaction is unfavourable then she’s not the right person for you, especially if you’d like to continue swinging, perhaps together with any new partner.
V |
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"Juat be totally honest and upfront about it.
If swinging is something you intend to continue then.. This
If you are willing to put it aside.. forever possibly if she is not Interested... Then put the account on hold and delete?"
This is good advice
We were lucky enough to know a lot of each others kinks before we got together. We have both had partners in the past though who have turned out to be completely vanilla, you live with it or you don't. But in hindsight, it probably would have been best to have been more upfront about what we wanted from the start. Honesty is the best policy. If you decide to leave and not look back, then you shouldn't have to mention you were ever here, it is in the past. If you stay on fab, you definitely need to be honest.
It's advice, it could be right it could be wrong, but it is definitely advice |
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Decide on your priorities and what you want, then let those guide your behaviour. They're re your decisions about your life and it's your relationship. Not everyone in a relationship shares 100% of the details including secrets, of their lives in 1 go - it's not expected.
But what's usually expected is trust and a shared agreement on how the relationship is committed to, or not, including monogamy etc.
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Ive always mentioned it to man straight away and tell them if its not for you but u still like me then i will stop and concentrate on giving us a chance first. Id like to think if someone tells me then its my choice to take it further and no more about it. I would appreciate their honesty from them.
Needless to say im now single again lol xx good luck hun if u like her xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opinion you would jumping the gun telling her before you have been intimate. See how you gel in bed before deciding whether you want her approval on your lifestyle. As long as you don't lie if asked a question then you haven't been dishonest |
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