FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Profile advice needed please

Profile advice needed please

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hiya happy Fabbers. My 4th time back here. Decided to give it all up last year, as I wasn't even getting any response to my messages. But if at first you don't succeed, try again (as the saying goes). But so far it's the same story, no replies, no interest. I've even become a site supporter this time, to try and hopefully show others that I'm taking FAB seriously.

Anyway, I'd like to get some opinionated feedback on my profile, if that's ok? Perhaps you guys can point out things that I've overlooked? However, I'd like to stress, only serious, helpful opinions please. I've been on the recieving end of smart remarks and comments before and it's really not needed. I'm just trying my best and looking for genuine help.

Thanks everyone

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Firstly, I would like to say that your profile is much better than many.

A positive, fun, friendly profile is always better than a negative one. With this in mind, I would lose most of the first paragraph.

The list of interests is also at odds with the fact that you state your sex life has so has been quite vanilla. Have you done all these, or are you hoping to get the opportunity to do so. Instead of listing lots of interests, maybe give more about what you are looking for from Fab.

I would also agree that socials, clubs and more photos will help. Being active in the forum is also great to show your personality.

Finally, read the FAQs and don't be disheartened by the fact that you will get very few responses to your messages.

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By *ympho6969Woman over a year ago

glasgow

Since you dont have any verification by meet I would suggest getting photo verified or cam verified.

Also, and this might just be me, but I wouldnt message anyone who uses filters. I find them very childish and dont think they have a place on here. Never show the true you either.

If you're not getting replies to messages then I would branch out. I ignore all the generic, hey how are you, what you up to. I want one that's going to grab my attention, either with something original or asking me something about my profile. Attention is in the detail.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Firstly, I would like to say that your profile is much better than many.

A positive, fun, friendly profile is always better than a negative one. With this in mind, I would lose most of the first paragraph.

I would also agree that socials, clubs and more photos will help. Being active in the forum is also great to show your personality.

Finally, read the FAQs and don't be disheartened by the fact that you will get very few responses to your messages. "

Awesome, sound advice. Thank you. I will adjust my first paragraph. As for photos, I have quite a few more but they are set to private, as I've been told that intimate photos (mainly cock pics) are not very desirable and give off a bad first impression

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Since you dont have any verification by meet I would suggest getting photo verified or cam verified.

Also, and this might just be me, but I wouldnt message anyone who uses filters. I find them very childish and dont think they have a place on here. Never show the true you either.

Thank you. I did get myself photo verified when I joined, does it not show up on my profile?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Firstly, I would like to say that your profile is much better than many.

A positive, fun, friendly profile is always better than a negative one. With this in mind, I would lose most of the first paragraph.

I would also agree that socials, clubs and more photos will help. Being active in the forum is also great to show your personality.

Finally, read the FAQs and don't be disheartened by the fact that you will get very few responses to your messages.

Regarding the photo filters, I guess I was trying to take more interesting photos. Admittedly, I'm not very photogenic, was just trying to 'mix it up a little' with filters. But you can't please everyone I guess. Lol.

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

"Hiya happy Fabbers. My 4th time back here. Decided to give it all up last year, as I wasn't even getting any response to my messages. But if at first you don't succeed, try again (as the saying goes). But so far it's the same story, no replies, no interest. I've even become a site supporter this time, to try and hopefully show others that I'm taking FAB seriously.

Thanks everyone

"
. Your profile looks ok to me it’s quite detailed.You mention socials and clubs on your profile.Well over the last year or so there had been a Croydon social every two months so keep a eye on the London forum for the next one socials are a great way to make friends , give out and receive verification which will show other members what a nice social guy you are.Also not far from Sutton train station there is a house that have various club style events like Hkop parties , Curvy Club , as well as other events.Best of luck with your time on Fabs hopefully it will be better for you this time round

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks everyone

. Your profile looks ok to me it’s quite detailed.You mention socials and clubs on your profile.Well over the last year or so there had been a Croydon social every two months so keep a eye on the London forum for the next one socials are a great way to make friends , give out and receive verification which will show other members what a nice social guy you are.Also not far from Sutton train station there is a house that have various club style events like Hkop parties , Curvy Club , as well as other events.Best of luck with your time on Fabs hopefully it will be better for you this time round"

Awesome news. Thank you. Much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly I tend to avoid profiles which list off their flaws and try to justify them as if that will make them go away. I know it's a "if I say it first they won't be able to say it about me" kind of attitude but honestly I prefer men who own their imperfections; confidence is sexy after all. That's just personal though.

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Honestly I tend to avoid profiles which list off their flaws and try to justify them as if that will make them go away. I know it's a "if I say it first they won't be able to say it about me" kind of attitude but honestly I prefer men who own their imperfections; confidence is sexy after all. That's just personal though.

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x "

Point taken. But mentioning my flaws (not tall or athletic) was just me trying to be a little humours... Obviously it hasn't come across the way I wanted it to...

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

Thanks everyone

Awesome news. Thank you. Much appreciated "
. No problem looking at your location you are not too far from Croydon & Sutton.Did you not know of the house in Sutton I believe it’s quite well known when you were on Fabs before or were you not interested in clubs then.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It's better than most. If I were you I'd put a more positive tag line at the top of your profile, take some arse pics, and buy yourself some heels

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Awesome, sound advice. Thank you. I will adjust my first paragraph. As for photos, I have quite a few more but they are set to private, as I've been told that intimate photos (mainly cock pics) are not very desirable and give off a bad first impression"

Well, unless of course you have a truly magnificent cock of course

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x

Point taken. But mentioning my flaws (not tall or athletic) was just me trying to be a little humours... Obviously it hasn't come across the way I wanted it to...

Your height or build are not "flaws", they are just the way you are and the fact you focus on them so much I can see would be off-putting to many.

Imagine yourself as an advert for a kitkat or a new car. That advert would focus on all the positive parts and wouldn't include lines like "I know I'm full of sugar and fattening but...." or "I know my emissions are killing the planet but....".

Does that make sense. Your profile is your advert so don't focus on any negatives. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x

Point taken. But mentioning my flaws (not tall or athletic) was just me trying to be a little humours... Obviously it hasn't come across the way I wanted it to...

Yeah it just feels a little awkward... A good rule to follow is that if something can be seen in photos there's no need to bring it up yourself. People can see your pics and decide for themselves.

There's nothing horrifyingly bad about your profile per se (you've managed to stay away from the cock pics so that alone deserves a pat on the back) but honestly if someone with that bio messaged me I would think that they were at the end of their tether and would only want to meet me for a verification/to have had the experience of having met someone off here, you see?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x

Point taken. But mentioning my flaws (not tall or athletic) was just me trying to be a little humours... Obviously it hasn't come across the way I wanted it to...

Your height or build are not "flaws", they are just the way you are and the fact you focus on them so much I can see would be off-putting to many.

Does that make sense. Your profile is your advert so don't focus on any negatives. Good luck. "

Exactly this. Your height etc are just your natural features; they weren't flaws until you yourself made them that way by pointing negative attention at them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x

Point taken. But mentioning my flaws (not tall or athletic) was just me trying to be a little humours... Obviously it hasn't come across the way I wanted it to...

Your height or build are not "flaws", they are just the way you are and the fact you focus on them so much I can see would be off-putting to many.

Does that make sense. Your profile is your advert so don't focus on any negatives. Good luck. "

Of course, makes perfect sense. As mentioned, it was my way of being a little humorous but I guess it hasn't gone down the way I intended. It's a difficult thing, writing a profile, as you can't please everyone. For example, I've had some feedback pointing out certain issues with my profile... But I've also had some feedback saying that my profile is ok and that there's a lot of detail

Kind of hard to get a balance but I'll get there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also wouldn't have included all that stuff about having tried this before and not having any luck, especially that status. It's coming off a little "woe is me". But again, that's just me.

Best of luck x

Point taken. But mentioning my flaws (not tall or athletic) was just me trying to be a little humours... Obviously it hasn't come across the way I wanted it to...

Your height or build are not "flaws", they are just the way you are and the fact you focus on them so much I can see would be off-putting to many.

Does that make sense. Your profile is your advert so don't focus on any negatives. Good luck.

Kind of hard to get a balance but I'll get there

Like Lisa Belle said your profile is like your advert. You just have to tell people why they should be buying your product. Focus on the good points, gloss over the bad (or at best spin them into positives) and show your best angles. It's about what you have to offer, not just what you're wanting to get out of this.

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

If you start with “Ok, so I'm not...” or go on to list issues/problems , it will just put off 99% of women off.

Don’t write your profile based on feedback from others though , for the reasons you said above, deal with yourself first , then be yourself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Profile text is too long.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Firstly, I would like to say that your profile is much better than many.

A positive, fun, friendly profile is always better than a negative one. With this in mind, I would lose most of the first paragraph.

I would also agree that socials, clubs and more photos will help. Being active in the forum is also great to show your personality.

Finally, read the FAQs and don't be disheartened by the fact that you will get very few responses to your messages.

Filters tend to appeal a lot to under 25s as that age group tend to get the most out of them and are entertained by bluebirds flying around a bonce and consider stars around a mannequins head as attractive?

But seriously, you're clearly not daft and if you follow advice on this thread then it's really just a matter of time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your username would put me off if I'm 100% honest, but that's just being picky.

You don't need anyone going with you or inviting you to a club, you can go on your own and still enjoy the facilities. Just don't go with the expectation of having sex- if it happens, treat it as a bonus, not a goal.

Your location should help you get into the swinging scene, as there are a few clubs locally to you, as well as some regular organised social. Don't try to get meets just through your online presence but get yourself known on the local scene, let your personality shine.

Good luck, OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Your username would put me off if I'm 100% honest, but that's just being picky.

Good luck, OP."

Again, user name was supposed to be humourous. I work in a garage, using tools, so thought the name was quite fitting actually. But this is an issue that I have... Many people do seem to be incredibly picky, to start judging me on my user name. Gosh, this is actually a lot harder that I first thought. I'm not doing too well here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why wouldn't people be picky?

Once you accept that most people are picky about who they have sex with, especially if there are lots of people offering (which on this website means women have the upper hand, in other walks of life the dynamics are different), then you might feel less pressed about it.

In my experience, a successful profile is "this is why you might want to have sex with me", not "why does no one want to have sex with me? I am not offering anything special but I can't believe people are picky enough that they don't want sex with me".

Your numerous profiles, dramatic

flouncing, your profile text and your forum trails gain you a reputation. When negativity is shining through, and the overall tone is that you are being treated unfairly, it's not surprising that you aren't getting much take up, really.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why wouldn't people be picky?

Your numerous profiles, dramatic

Wow. I'm not even going to entertain arguing with you. I'm just going to say one thing to this... Not once here have I said that I'm being treated unfairly! I'm simply seeking sound, helpful advice. I feel your take on this is quite the opposite, so I won't be listening to you.

Having said that, I've found all other input from others here have been extremely helpful and I honestly appreciate every bit of advice from those

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol OK. If you will only listen to what you want to hear and keep sending out negative vibes I'm sure you'll do fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Lol OK. If you will only listen to what you want to hear and keep sending out negative vibes I'm sure you'll do fine. "

Negative vibes? Have you read this thread thoroughly? I've taken everyone's input/help/advice.and I've thanked those who have been respectful and helpful! So in what way am I being negative exactly? I'm not here on this forum to argue, I've been there, done that before in the past! Not going down that road again, I'm better than that. End of.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For example: someone gave you fair and kind feedback on your username, recognising that they're probably being a bit nitpicky, and you respond insinuating people are too picky and judgemental. That, to me, is negative. There are other examples but I'm not here to rip you to pieces. I'm just giving you my opinion as a verified local woman looking for single men, a rare beast. My opinion is you come across as intense and taking this way too seriously, and I'd probably be scared to meet you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For example: someone gave you fair and kind feedback on your username, recognising that they're probably being a bit nitpicky, and you respond insinuating people are too picky and judgemental. That, to me, is negative. There are other examples but I'm not here to rip you to pieces. I'm just giving you my opinion as a verified local woman looking for single men, a rare beast. My opinion is you come across as intense and taking this way too seriously, and I'd probably be scared to meet you! "

Listen, I've said twice now that I'm not going to entertain arguing with you, so please leave it at that! Take a look at the others comments.... None of those individuals are going on and on! So that's enough now please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I actually agree with Doola on this one, sorry. Many people have given you great advice and instead of just going "OK yep, good point I'll change that, thanks" you've tried to justify your choices instead. For example why you picked your username or pointed out what you feel are your shortcomings etc. That's fair enough if that's how you want your profile to read - each to their own - but quite clearly it hasn't worked out well for you so far. People are quite literally telling you which bits of your profile aren't working but instead of taking it on the chin you're making excuses and then carrying on moaning that it's hard for you on here...

You might not have mentioned being treated unfairly per se but I have seen quite a bit of complaining, both on this thread and your bio. Not arguing (before you accuse me of that), just stating facts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I actually agree with Doola on this one, sorry. Many people have given you great advice and instead of just going "OK yep, good point I'll change that, thanks" you've tried to justify your choices instead. For example why you picked your username or pointed out what you feel are your shortcomings etc. That's fair enough if that's how you want your profile to read - each to their own - but quite clearly it hasn't worked out well for you so far. People are quite literally telling you which bits of your profile aren't working but instead of taking it on the chin you're making excuses and then carrying on moaning that it's hard for you on here...

I suggest that you go up to the top of the page and read again! I've clearly agreed with what others have pointed out and suggested! But thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I suggest that you go up to the top of the page and read again! I've clearly agreed with what others have pointed out and suggested! But thanks

Furthermore, if you go and take a look at my profile now, you'll see that I've already made a start on making some changes! I've gotten rid of my first opening paragraph and updated my status. So actually, I have listened to advice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your default position of defensive, passive aggressive and sarcastic when responding to women might be a clue to your lack of success.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Your default position of defensive, passive aggressive and sarcastic when responding to women might be a clue to your lack of success. "

(huge sigh) why are you continuing to try to argue? I've asked you nicely to let it be. Please leave it at that. I've taken everyone else's opinions and advice but you don't seem to be offering any actual sound advice, you just seem to want to argue with me. Don't know what I've done wrong to aggravate you but for the last time, please, leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I ain't aggravated, just amused

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I ain't aggravated, just amused

Well then I refuse to entertain your amusement anymore. I can tell that you're not here to help, only to rip into me and I will not rise to it I'm afraid. I can assure you that I won't respond to anymore if your comments. Continue if you wish but I'm going to be the better person here and step down

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My advice is more photos and more varied photos.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My advice is more photos and more varied photos. "

Thank you. More sound, helpful advice. That's what I like to see. Definitely going to work on my photos and be more creative

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"My advice is more photos and more varied photos.

Thank you. More sound, helpful advice. That's what I like to see. Definitely going to work on my photos and be more creative

"
for example, use a timer and take a portrait shot at head height, not a selfie from an above point of view and try black and white for skin photos as the skin texture shows up better and the light has a more pleasing effect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My advice is more photos and more varied photos.

Thank you. More sound, helpful advice. That's what I like to see. Definitely going to work on my photos and be more creative

for example, use a timer and take a portrait shot at head height, not a selfie from an above point of view and try black and white for skin photos as the skin texture shows up better and the light has a more pleasing effect. "

Awesome, I'll give that a shot. Thank you _rightonsteve

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