FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ghosting and being stood up....
Ghosting and being stood up....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this.....  |
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You're not on your own unfortunately. We find we get this quite a lot from couples. I always say its nice to be nice! I think people make plans when they're horny and then go off the boil before the fun can be planned. We all stay for the good ones... who are out there, keep your chin up and keep seeking them out xXx |
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You are not alone. We have had single men and couples ghost us once a meets been arranged.
We sometimes end a conversation quite abruptly for various reasons but if we arrange to meet we will always go or let them know we aren't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're not on your own unfortunately. We find we get this quite a lot from couples. I always say its nice to be nice! I think people make plans when they're horny and then go off the boil before the fun can be planned. We all stay for the good ones... who are out there, keep your chin up and keep seeking them out xXx"
Thanks.  Everybody is not like ourselves that much is true! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to apologise & explain it was me, not you  
 If someone would have the decency to at least say that, that would be brilliant! "
Aww...now I have to stop being a prat 
It happens to the best of us, hard to not let it knock your confidence but as someone said above, you dodged a bullet...no meet is always going tone better than a bad one
Chin up lady  |
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We have been ghosted alot, usually after sometime chatting and when we try and arrange a meet. We have also been ghosted after meets thst have gone very well. We really would prefer people to be upfront and honest. We are all adults afterall! It can be so frustrating, our time is precious and we do put in alot of effort to get to know people!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try not to let it affect you, it is hard because we are all humans with actual feelings, but I find it easier to remind myself to expect rude and inconsiderate people on here. We all have our own agendas, it would be nice if people treated each other with a little respect but we cannot control this.
Plus someone said you don’t know if people are telling you the truth re their personal circumstances ie are they attached? They may have been caught out.
There are also the ‘dreamers’, who have this fantasy attached to you, then they realise the reality xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain the term 'ghosting' .....
"
Someone you had a connection with disappears, like a ghost.
I met a man on Fab, saw him seven wonderful times over the course of four months, then he disappeared. Went unlos on here, phone/kik/WhatsApp messages went unread or undelivered. Not a clue what happened. |
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
I wouldn't be bothered by their actions, I would actually try to spin it round, and see the positive. You have just saved yourself a ton load of issues. Loads of people agree to meets, without knowing exactly what they want or who they want. Some it is an ego trip, others are rebounding, you do not need such characters in your life long term. You will meet kindred souls, they are just round the corner. |
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I was ghosted by a woman a couple of weeks ago, having met her for two socials previously, and chatted through kik. Had a hotel meet arranged, kept in touch via kik, then she went quiet on me two days before our meet. The day after we were supposed to be meeting, she posted up a veri from another guy! Fair enough, that’s a one-way ticket to Block Street  |
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It's happened to me loads too everything from a guy I've been seeing for a number of months just disappearing one day to those I've met once had a great time but never heard from again.
I must admit when it keeps happening you do start to think it must be something your doing, it seems to be the only explanation.
I try to remember that along the way I've met some amazing people so I just try to put the rude ones to the back of my mind and move on.
Try not to let it get you down x
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I tried to apologise & explain it was me, not you
If someone would have the decency to at least say that, that would be brilliant! "
Yes I agree .. politeness cost nothing. Can't stand rudeness myself x |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I was ghosted by a woman a couple of weeks ago, having met her for two socials previously, and chatted through kik. Had a hotel meet arranged, kept in touch via kik, then she went quiet on me two days before our meet. The day after we were supposed to be meeting, she posted up a veri from another guy! Fair enough, that’s a one-way ticket to Block Street "
Bloody hell ... how rude...proper kick in the teeth that ...why didn't she just say she'd changed her mind |
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"I was ghosted by a woman a couple of weeks ago, having met her for two socials previously, and chatted through kik. Had a hotel meet arranged, kept in touch via kik, then she went quiet on me two days before our meet. The day after we were supposed to be meeting, she posted up a veri from another guy! Fair enough, that’s a one-way ticket to Block Street
Bloody hell ... how rude...proper kick in the teeth that ...why didn't she just say she'd changed her mind"
Exactly! It’s not like we were complete strangers, we’ve had two social meets, have several mutual Fab friends, and chat freely in kik. All she had to say was she couldn’t meet that day, and can we reschedule.....
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By *lutchieMan
over a year ago
West Midlands |
Sadly it happens all the time
Like most here id rather say they dont want to chat anymore or at least bye. Maybe i have just been brought up with some manners and politness instilled to me. I get that life off fab affects fab life and if they were cheaters and not honest but there is such thing as respect even if you arent being honest.
I wil stop moaning now
Stay sexy everyone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Try not to let it affect you, it is hard because we are all humans with actual feelings, but I find it easier to remind myself to expect rude and inconsiderate people on here. We all have our own agendas, it would be nice if people treated each other with a little respect but we cannot control this.
Plus someone said you don’t know if people are telling you the truth re their personal circumstances ie are they attached? They may have been caught out.
There are also the ‘dreamers’, who have this fantasy attached to you, then they realise the reality xx"
Yes I think perhaps a couple of the 'Dreamers' have slipped passed my spidey senses! Usually a dab hand at ing out the married ones.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Please explain the term 'ghosting' .....
Someone you had a connection with disappears, like a ghost.
I met a man on Fab, saw him seven wonderful times over the course of four months, then he disappeared. Went unlos on here, phone/kik/WhatsApp messages went unread or undelivered. Not a clue what happened. "
It certainly makes you wonder what goes through peoples minds doesn't it!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was ghosted by a woman a couple of weeks ago, having met her for two socials previously, and chatted through kik. Had a hotel meet arranged, kept in touch via kik, then she went quiet on me two days before our meet. The day after we were supposed to be meeting, she posted up a veri from another guy! Fair enough, that’s a one-way ticket to Block Street "
That is exactly what happened to me!!!
Mentally of some people is beyond me sometimes!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met someone from fab a few times. We played, we chatted, we hung out. I felt we got on well!
She left the site and told me she couldn’t live the lifestyle anymore. Which I understood and left it at that.
She came back to fab, blocked me on here and the forms of social media and communication we used. No reasons why. It didn’t bother me too much. Lately though, other people she’s met on fab are looking at my profile and I can’t work out why.
It’s knocked my confidence a lot recently and I’m not sure she realises just how much damage it’s done |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this.....
I wouldn't be bothered by their actions, I would actually try to spin it round, and see the positive. You have just saved yourself a ton load of issues. Loads of people agree to meets, without knowing exactly what they want or who they want. Some it is an ego trip, others are rebounding, you do not need such characters in your life long term. You will meet kindred souls, they are just round the corner. "
Thank you for your positive words! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"You're not on your own unfortunately. We find we get this quite a lot from couples. I always say its nice to be nice! I think people make plans when they're horny and then go off the boil before the fun can be planned. We all stay for the good ones... who are out there, keep your chin up and keep seeking them out xXx"
I think that’s true about going off the boil. We’ve never been let down (yet) and never let anyone down , but then don’t meet single guys, don’t do last minute meets and generally tend to exchange numbers before arranging to meet. 8 months on this site I can spot time wasters immediately by profile and types of messages, if in any doubt I’ll just say l want a quick chat on the phone , if they refuse we just block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep, totally had this. Actually got ready to meet on the night, with texts during the day to confirm they were coming. Then the time came (and went!) when we were actually meant to meet and not a phone call / text / message in a bottle to say they were no longer coming. Feels so good as you can imagine  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met someone from fab a few times. We played, we chatted, we hung out. I felt we got on well!
She left the site and told me she couldn’t live the lifestyle anymore. Which I understood and left it at that.
She came back to fab, blocked me on here and the forms of social media and communication we used. No reasons why. It didn’t bother me too much. Lately though, other people she’s met on fab are looking at my profile and I can’t work out why.
It’s knocked my confidence a lot recently and I’m not sure she realises just how much damage it’s done "
It's a shame when everybody is not as up front as you would wish. People don't think about how their actions impact other people sometimes. We just have to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep, totally had this. Actually got ready to meet on the night, with texts during the day to confirm they were coming. Then the time came (and went!) when we were actually meant to meet and not a phone call / text / message in a bottle to say they were no longer coming. Feels so good as you can imagine "
Yep, that's happened to me twice. Irritates the hell out of me! |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"Yep, totally had this. Actually got ready to meet on the night, with texts during the day to confirm they were coming. Then the time came (and went!) when we were actually meant to meet and not a phone call / text / message in a bottle to say they were no longer coming. Feels so good as you can imagine
Yep, that's happened to me twice. Irritates the hell out of me!"
Even worse when you've booked a hotel room and they don't show and go silent |
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"Yep, totally had this. Actually got ready to meet on the night, with texts during the day to confirm they were coming. Then the time came (and went!) when we were actually meant to meet and not a phone call / text / message in a bottle to say they were no longer coming. Feels so good as you can imagine
Yep, that's happened to me twice. Irritates the hell out of me!"
It's rude isn't it and it's happened to me too. |
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It’s happened to us, too. Met a FB couple at the single guy’s house for a foursome. First meet was one of the best meets we’ve ever had. I met the guy again on my own the next time. We organised a second meet for me to meet him on my own again, before all four of us together afterwards. When I met up with him, something did feel a bit ‘off’, but I thought nothing of it. Play went fine. Later, the four of us met up again, inviting us for a BBQ before play. Everything appeared fine, although I felt something had change during play and later discussing it with partner, he felt something was different, too. Afterwards, we received the usual ‘thank you’ ,etc. from the lady, but the guy ignored the group chat, even though he had read it.
We have our own theories what may have happened, but if people change their mind, why still go through with a meet? People can be strange. 
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Arranged earlier in the week to meet a couple yesterday. They changed the meet time and place and then repeatedly messaged to say they were setting out,later to say we are on our way but never arrived. What was the point??? |
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I’d been “chatting” to someone for a few weeks. Odd short message. She asked me if I wanted to meet up on the up coming Sunday lunchtime. I said yes where do you fancy meeting. She’s not been back on the site since. What was the point of asking me? |
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I've had this a lot OP, it does seem to be more prevalent on here than I've found it elsewhere.
If youre chatting and it all fizzles out I don't necessarily have an issue with that, sometimes the more you chat the more you realise someone isn't for you. It would be nice to get the thanks but no thanks message but I don't necessarily mind if that doesn't happen.
I've been stood up and been ghosted en route to a meet, blocked in here and on WhatsApp. That really does drive me mad because I have so little time to meet, taking that time up only to let me down is a massive waste for me.
I now have a particular place I like to use for meets, where I'm comfortable sitting on my own with a glass of wine, reading my book. I assume every single person is going to stand me up until they are actually sitting with me.
I've thankfully never been ghosted after a meet, though a couple of times we've both walked away not wanting to meet again.
It's absolutely not you, seems to happen to most people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope from all of the comments you see it happens to us all and gives you some perspective.
Looking at your profile it seems to me you look stunning and it's their loss.
Ghosting and no shows says more about them than you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing worse is there...?
Although, last week I had a first date with a girl who completely forgot about the first date.
That was pretty shit too, haha.
Hope you meet someone soon OP x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
If someone does not have the decency to let you know they cannot make it then that says a lot about them and you have had a lucky escape. As for others disappearing after meeting you, some people just do not have the courage to let you know they not interested. It happens to many people at some point, don’t let it knock your confidence x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
I get stood up every day..
You will get use to it |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
It is definitely getting worse, I’ve noticed.
I used to chat and meet amazing, truly amazing guys. Could get 2-3 meets a week with outstanding people no problem.
Now it’s been months since I’ve talked to anyone I’d be remotely interested in meeting.
I go on Fab now mostly out of habit haha, and the forums... |
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I've said consistently the same thing on other threads. The site seems to veer toward instant, dirty gratification for..well..largely men- when they want it, on their terms. When they don't....auf wiedersehen! |
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I don't focus on individual potential meets much, preferring to communicate broadly with multiple people. Regular fbs are different.
I have found that I have got an improved sense of who to continue dialogue with and who will follow through. I always have a mutually agreed communication plan leading up to the actual in-person meeting, so if anyone breaks their agreement, I'd be cautious and suspicious of their intentions and I'd possibly question them and cancel the appointment. It's a good idea to have backup plans for the time too, it could be absolutely anything instead that I'd love to do. |
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You aren’t alone! It happens way too much! I have been stood up and ghosted by both men and women. It’s annoying! You would think that they would know that someone that has been on the scene a while knowes that not everyone is for everyone! We all have different likes! There no harm in a ‘thanks, was nice to meet you but don’t think the right chemistry is there’ or ‘sorry I’m not in the mood or got stuff going on’ it’s very frustrating and that’s why single men get a bad name too! Xx |
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
Rejection is never nice, gets you wondering was it something you did or said.
Try not to let it bother you to much, life is to short. There are many more people to strike up friendships with.
You may see them again you may not, chalk it up to experience and happy fabbing. |
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this.....
Rejection is never nice, gets you wondering was it something you did or said.
Try not to let it bother you to much, life is to short. There are many more people to strike up friendships with.
You may see them again you may not, chalk it up to experience and happy fabbing."
A simple message is always polite however some choose not to. |
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Not just you
Was looking for a guy to join us yesterday and this couple messaged to say they were in the area doing some shopping and she wouldn't play but he would.
Gave them the postcode which literally gets you outside
Queue them saying they couldn't find us and were now up the main A road when originally they were less than half a mile away.
They then suggested we should have talked them in on the phone, if the flat wasn't on a main road and down some hard to find track them fair enough but it's not.
Frustrating but their loss. |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
"I met someone from fab a few times. We played, we chatted, we hung out. I felt we got on well!
She left the site and told me she couldn’t live the lifestyle anymore. Which I understood and left it at that.
She came back to fab, blocked me on here and the forms of social media and communication we used. No reasons why. It didn’t bother me too much. Lately though, other people she’s met on fab are looking at my profile and I can’t work out why.
It’s knocked my confidence a lot recently and I’m not sure she realises just how much damage it’s done "
Have you verified her? If so it's far more likely it's that than her telling tales or whatever about you (be very weird if she did) we met a couple for a social in northern ireland once and even now we get random views from the area they're from when they've had a busy day or 2 on Fab, don't let it worry you bud. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are def not alone OP. Couple arranged meet,kept changing time and place and on day still kept changing time then repeatedly saying they were on their way but never arrived. Profile now hidden |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Colchester here too and I’ve had this happen a few times recently. Arranged to meet, chatting away and then suddenly silence the day before or on the day we were due to meet.
They never get a second chance with me. It was quite satisfying having one of them messaging me today asking to go for a drink. I read his message and deleted it. |
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"Colchester here too and I’ve had this happen a few times recently. Arranged to meet, chatting away and then suddenly silence the day before or on the day we were due to meet.
They never get a second chance with me. It was quite satisfying having one of them messaging me today asking to go for a drink. I read his message and deleted it. "
We had a chap say he didn't want to meet in the end (fine) but was profile perving and when gently nudged, said he'd like to see us in action. ¿Qué? But doesn't want to meet us? Silly sausage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was supposed to be meeting a guy for coffee Friday...noticed on Thursday..blocked on grre and blocked on WhatsApp. He obviously never had any intention of turning up.
We even had a guy once ring us to say he was just leaving, see us at the hotel in about an hour....never arrived.
Unfortunately it happens a lot |
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Happening more and more last few weeks.
Our guess with new couples is it’s a guy trying to entice his wife into swinging then shows her the account and she kicks off about it.
Been a lot of accounts started, message for a few days then they’re gone again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've said consistently the same thing on other threads. The site seems to veer toward instant, dirty gratification for..well..largely men- when they want it, on their terms. When they don't....auf wiedersehen!"
definitely, Numerous instances of blokes wanting to meet for sex immediately....we always meet socially first, but then they get huffy when we say that.....our block list is huge and growing daily |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Colchester here too and I’ve had this happen a few times recently. Arranged to meet, chatting away and then suddenly silence the day before or on the day we were due to meet.
They never get a second chance with me. It was quite satisfying having one of them messaging me today asking to go for a drink. I read his message and deleted it. "
Good for you!! They had thier chance!!! |
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Happened to us too, hotel booked and everything. Frustrating is not the word, especially as unicorns a rarer than rocking horse shit! But that’s just one of many time wasters. Really puts my mrs off this site/perspective meets. I don’t know why but I’m surprised that women are getting ghosted thought they held all the cards. I don’t get why people do it either,if people are not interested in meets just step aside and leave it to them who do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to us too, hotel booked and everything. Frustrating is not the word, especially as unicorns a rarer than rocking horse shit! But that’s just one of many time wasters. Really puts my mrs off this site/perspective meets. I don’t know why but I’m surprised that women are getting ghosted thought they held all the cards. I don’t get why people do it either,if people are not interested in meets just step aside and leave it to them who do. "
While I would never defend it, I think a lot of it comes down to insecurities. A lot of men probably love fantasising about swinging and the idyllic meets in their heads, but when push comes to shove, and it’s actually a tantible thing happening in the real world, they balk in anxiety. I’m not saying that judgmentally either, but at the same time, people should know what they’re signing up for here, not to mention that they should know better than to waste people’s time. |
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
I was ghosted on here by a Lady in Huernsey after she had my face picture!!
Some drop off for personal reasons and don't reach out to all they have chatted too, social dates or play dates with.
The going cold on all communications yet staying active without being polite is just pure bad manners but yes may hide insecurities so therefore the dodged bullet is a good analogy.
I did have to lol at the Casper ghost comment.
Happy swinging all.
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Far be it for me to tell any single woman on this site who to meet or under what conditions but perhaps re consider couples if you're sick of single guys letting you down?
I acknowledge not everyone wants to play with couples (and I'm not suggesting that) but there are a lot of couples where the wives actively enjoy their husbands playing solo with another woman (just as their are plenty of couples where the husbands enjoy their wives playing solo). I know because I'm one of those ladies who LOVES my husband being off for the night with another woman. It's how we started swinging to begin with. We have also met plenty of other couples just like us over the years as well.
Whilst it has happened for us in the past, more often than not, we'll get told no from single ladies even though I offer to come to the first meet just to confirm I'm ok with it. Maybe they think I want to join (only if invited obviously), that my husband is not being honest or that they just do not meet married men. This actually happens with some couple accounts as well seeking single males. They just dont want to know because the seem wary that my husband is offering to meet solo.
For their own reasons, with many it seems my husband on his own is a no go but myself playing solo seem to be openly welcomed.
All I'm saying is, given the general reliability factor of single male accounts on here (not all guys, I know some of you are legit) it might be worth broadening your nets for NSA fun. We've never once been let down by a married guy (who's partner we previously met) so it might be worth looking into.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm afraid that most profiles are here for one thing and one thing only to wank! It gets them off to chat flirt think they are egg and mess about.
We have all had it from men couples you name it.
It's hard to find genuine profiles most use it for free porn.
Each time someone messages you hope that its genuine! But!!! I have had all types of games and excuses one strung me along and it bothers me as they are either 100% genuine or so sick its untrue.
So smile stand proud and remember you are better than them! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
maybe its the age range you're going for us slightly older guys are so much more reliable   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
You're definitely not alone on this. I thought it just happened to single guys. I've deleted 3 accounts now after being stood up, however you start to become wiser about who is genuine or not.
Take it that you've dodged a bullet in that case!
If only fab banned people who didnt show for meets, there would be a lot less fakes and picture collectors x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
You’re by no means alone my lovely....I had a run of 11 no shows one after the other over the space of less than a month a while back....I don’t know what’s worse, a no show or a ghosting, both equally as frustrating and upsetting. Swingers or not we are people with feelings...and some other people are just shitbags. Easy to say don’t take it to heart but don’t take it to heart....chin up and good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As we said before there is an option to report no shows in the drop down menu, i don't know what the consequences are or how fab deal with reported instances but its there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain the term 'ghosting' .....
Someone you had a connection with disappears, like a ghost.
I met a man on Fab, saw him seven wonderful times over the course of four months, then he disappeared. Went unlos on here, phone/kik/WhatsApp messages went unread or undelivered. Not a clue what happened. "
My heart goes out to you babe xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not just me then ...
A woman is pursued, relentlessly, message after message, phone calls, desired, wanted so much... They meet, she does the deed... Has an amazing time. Real connection, sparks.. the works! Then.. here we go again... Communication peters out... Replies get fewer, excuses more frequent... Oh I find it exhausting tbh.
I know the nature of this site but I can't help being invested, giving too much of myself.
Wish I could be as cold and calculating as some of the men on here... |
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"Please explain the term 'ghosting' .....
Someone you had a connection with disappears, like a ghost.
I met a man on Fab, saw him seven wonderful times over the course of four months, then he disappeared. Went unlos on here, phone/kik/WhatsApp messages went unread or undelivered. Not a clue what happened. "
Died |
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t happens to the best and worst of us I'm afraid.
This really is a case where they should be telling you: It's not you, it's me."
But they don't...they just go pop and vanish and you have to have a hide like a rhino for it not to get to you. I#m afraid. |
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
Definitely not. Its happened to me many of times on here... 8 months of being on fab and still a fab virgin isn't great stats... Its just plain rude.  |
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It seems to happen a lot these days, but it’s always them and not you. Who in their right mind will choose to ghost on you OP. your profile comes across as articulate and as someone who knows what she wants. It’s his loss! |
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"I love the women that are on here 24/7, literally online everytime you come on yourself and then the day of the meet they are offline ALL DAY
Lol - so true"
It must absolutely kill them to stay off all day, going cold turkey instead of just saying they aren't going meet the day(s) before so you yourself can make other plans for the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not just me then ...
A woman is pursued, relentlessly, message after message, phone calls, desired, wanted so much... They meet, she does the deed... Has an amazing time. Real connection, sparks.. the works! Then.. here we go again... Communication peters out... Replies get fewer, excuses more frequent... Oh I find it exhausting tbh.
I know the nature of this site but I can't help being invested, giving too much of myself.
Wish I could be as cold and calculating as some of the men on here... "
its the nature of the beast for some Anyways good luck in cyber heaven |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never let anyone dictate who you are, or ultimately how you feel about yourself, if someone makes you feel rubbish, dont absorb it, they've lost their right to meeting you, they've missed out, and another person will enjoy your company, don't waste your energy on someone who isn't important to you but I do understand the annoyance though xx |
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
Sorry to have this happen to you. Funnily enough, it rarely happens to me in fab world but happens a lot more in vanilla dating.
In fab world, I can spot fakes long way off - I usually insist on chat over the phone with couple - just to make sure they are real. That is more than enough to sort out the flakes...
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"So I'm not a newbie here, having used the site over the last year on this and an old profile, but I find some of the guys on this site are getting worse by the minute. I understand people have their reasons behind it, but in the last two weeks I have been stood up twice & ghosted twice after meeting someone. (Both meets went well I add and were chatting aferwards with more arranged meets.)
I get that I'm not for everyone, and rejection is fine, I don't have a problem with that. It's the down right rudeness of not even being able to send a polite message saying, 'really sorry I can't make it's or 'sorry, but I've changed my mind'
I find it incredibly rude and it's really starting to knock my confidence.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this..... "
Hello!
It happens to us all. It's happened to me too, on more than one occasion. I don't understand why it happens. I suspect that there are many possibilities.
About ghosted after a meet - that generally means he's bored, fed up, you're not a match, etc. The best thing to do is just move on and ofcourse don't give an opportunity for another meet.
The reason why a lot of people aren't honest is that they don't want the backlash. I did it once. I arranged to meet a lady, and on the evening of the meet, she started getting a bit of an attitude. Sort implying that she was doing me a favour sort of thing. Then she started being a bit pushy/rude. I really didn't like the way she was speaking to me and I said to her; "I'm really sorry but this isn't going to work. I really don't like how rude you are Nd I don't appreciate being spoken to like I'm a servant. Please don't leave your house later as I won't be. I'm sorry to let you down."
She went absolutely mental and loads of abuse followed, loads of that 'time waster' stuff, etc.
In hindsight, I shouldn't have bothered to be honest with her, I should have just blocked and said nothing. |
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Had this happen to us this week.
“Yea, love to meet”
“Great! We’re off work tomorrow”
“Cool, we work from home so come and see us”
“Fantastic, what address? We’ll be there”
couple are offline
“Hello.....”
couple still offline
Sigh
Just rude, if it was the guy who had overstepped the mark with his significant other (“babe, I’ve got a meet for tomorrow” her: “YOU’VE DONE WHAT!”) JUST BE A MAN ABOUT IT.
sigh
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