FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Hesitant about meeting any more member
Hesitant about meeting any more member
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Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right? 
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.)   |
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.) "
I'm in the same boat 3 years on here as time goes by I wonder myself.
I've met and not met people of various types. I've made more effort in deciding who to meet. I've put in place more hurdles to deter the ones I don't want to meet. I rarely meet these days since August 2018 I went from many regular meets to barely a social every 2 months. Probably longer than that on some occasions.
Get the dreamers who say they want meet talk about all the sexual antics they'd like to get up to then they never turn up. Then you get the ones who do turn up but cum and run after half an hour or less after promising a night of passion under the sheets and out of. They didn't intend to stay longer than their orgasm. Of course there's the ones worse than that.
Finding those hidden gems on here is so difficult. The genuine guys who want exactly what you want and not full of shit one way or another. So to answer your question it's really down to not meeting or risking meeting. Some are easy to spot others are very good at conning their way to getting what they want and leaving you high and dry. Trust your instincts, meet publicly so youre safe and hope they are what you're looking for. If they are genuine they'd allow you to use your tactics to make sure they are right for you. Anyone who is pushy and insistent aren't worth the time or risking safety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.) "
so this guy potentially filled the spot of ' perfect' you had a great meet with him you left on friendly terms and you verified him and him you straight away then he ghosted you and you blocked him?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's a shame that there are so many people on fab that are just dreamers and users, unfortunately it sounds like you met one.
Try not to let it get you down. "
I've never had a dream in my life damnit but now I've seen Jasminegirthlover whatever she says is gospel I've just got to reduce my age by 14 years and I'm in  |
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.) so this guy potentially filled the spot of ' perfect' you had a great meet with him you left on friendly terms and you verified him and him you straight away then he ghosted you and you blocked him? "
No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time. Next time never came as he ghosted me by not returning my messages. I know he's alive as he was on fab last night so i blocked him knowing he only met me to help his verifications as he did ask me in a round about way how to get more women on fab on our last meet. |
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.)
I'm in the same boat 3 years on here as time goes by I wonder myself.
I've met and not met people of various types. I've made more effort in deciding who to meet. I've put in place more hurdles to deter the ones I don't want to meet. I rarely meet these days since August 2018 I went from many regular meets to barely a social every 2 months. Probably longer than that on some occasions.
Get the dreamers who say they want meet talk about all the sexual antics they'd like to get up to then they never turn up. Then you get the ones who do turn up but cum and run after half an hour or less after promising a night of passion under the sheets and out of. They didn't intend to stay longer than their orgasm. Of course there's the ones worse than that.
Finding those hidden gems on here is so difficult. The genuine guys who want exactly what you want and not full of shit one way or another. So to answer your question it's really down to not meeting or risking meeting. Some are easy to spot others are very good at conning their way to getting what they want and leaving you high and dry. Trust your instincts, meet publicly so youre safe and hope they are what you're looking for. If they are genuine they'd allow you to use your tactics to make sure they are right for you. Anyone who is pushy and insistent aren't worth the time or risking safety."
Every time I go on forums, refreshingly there's so many fab women i can relate to so im glad I'm not the only one.. As with all these ghosters and players, makes you doubt your sexual ability and status. I know my own worth but hate being taken advantage of |
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"
It's a shame that there are so many people on fab that are just dreamers and users, unfortunately it sounds like you met one.
Try not to let it get you down. I've never had a dream in my life damnit but now I've seen Jasminegirthlover whatever she says is gospel I've just got to reduce my age by 14 years and I'm in "
We chatted before btw  |
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There’s lots of time wasters on here of all categories. But there are also lots of genuine people too. Unfortunately you just have to take the time to sift through the rubbish! If they have good verifications off a few people and repeat meets you have a better chance of a good night.
Good luck |
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No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time.
Why would you want to meet again if the first two times were rubbish?"
Wondering this as well ^^^^
Also, it’s your choice, but if you just put your location down as UK, you’re bound to attract chancers as they have no idea if your are anywhere near them. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"
No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time.
Why would you want to meet again if the first two times were rubbish?"
I agree. It looks like it was a sign you two were just not compatible. I find one offs (apart from my partner) to be better anyhow. More anticipation and you both make more of an effort. Just my opinion though x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It's a shame that there are so many people on fab that are just dreamers and users, unfortunately it sounds like you met one.
Try not to let it get you down. I've never had a dream in my life damnit but now I've seen Jasminegirthlover whatever she says is gospel I've just got to reduce my age by 14 years and I'm in
We chatted before btw "
i know and youre lovely........ just saying |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
'No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time'.
This makes me think you may of told him you didn't think the experience was great. Maybe he did and you've shattered his ego? |
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"'No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time'.
This makes me think you may of told him you didn't think the experience was great. Maybe he did and you've shattered his ego? "
No i didn't say anything. He said it straight away to me. He knew it was disappointing as why would he defend himself? |
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"FAB works if you dont take it too seriously. Always have a social first, as you can usually (although not always) tell is someone is genuine or not for you.
"
I had a social first. He was polite majority of the time and seemed very keen so i went on that vibe. But maybe i should been stricter and when he didn't text to confirm that day, i should of just left it as it was. Yes i need to pay attention to the tell tell signs of someone insincere |
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No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time.
Why would you want to meet again if the first two times were rubbish?
Wondering this as well ^^^^
Also, it’s your choice, but if you just put your location down as UK, you’re bound to attract chancers as they have no idea if your are anywhere near them. "
Ironically i agreed to my first meet because he lived in the nearby village. I like to keep my location on a need to know basis for security plus i move around the country for work etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time.
Why would you want to meet again if the first two times were rubbish?
Wondering this as well ^^^^
Also, it’s your choice, but if you just put your location down as UK, you’re bound to attract chancers as they have no idea if your are anywhere near them.
Ironically i agreed to my first meet because he lived in the nearby village. I like to keep my location on a need to know basis for security plus i move around the country for work etc"
are you a government agent mi7   |
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As mentioned before, this is not to be taken seriously. Go on socials, see if there is a spark, chemistry and also if he has genuine respect for women. If these things are a positive, then you are in for some fun.
However, it goes both ways. How you treat someone is how they treat you.
But don’t beat yourself up over it. It wasn’t meant to be more than it was so onwards and upwards.. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
There is -definitely- a dry spell right now... I remember your last thread and I was rather optimistic, now, not so sure, as I feel I’m experiencing the same! lol!
I had a fantastic meet (or so I thought) with someone a few weeks ago. We had spent a lot of time talking beforehand and I shared a lot of personal stuff. He ghosted me straight afterwards. To be fair, it’s the first time it happens for me on here, but that’s put me off meeting more people.
I think that for many guys “NSA” really means one off- and I don’t want any one offs at all. But they will chat and establish a rapport only to disappear afterwards...
Trying yo stay away and concentrate in my running but it’s difficult! |
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Yes, you think you have a connection, the meet goes really well and then ghosted. It happens all the time. We'd love a clutch of regular play mates and that was our initial intention when we joined but its just not worked out that wau. Lucky in that we have not had a bad meet but used to get confused about the ghosting. However, we are used to it now and have stopped over thinking it and take it as it is and now we expect to be ghosted, anything other is a bonus. |
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Most single guys on fab are only after one thing so you normally have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.
Its amazing to see so many lovely ladies with the same complaint. You would think the guys would be thrilled having the chance to meet you all.
I rarely meet off Fab now as you get so many timewasters and 5 min wonders. Having said that i have met some genuine people so tend to stick with them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the forums are a great place to gauge how genuine people are.
There are some proper twats on here, I know. Maybe take a break and come back after clearing your mind from fab. I let my membership run out and didnt renew for months to help me with that as the missing functions were the addictive ones.
In the same boat as the forums, head to a organised social, club or look at the "meets" section of fab. Maybe doing things old school and looking for those chivalrous and gentlemen qualities foremost could help strain out the dickheads.
These situations are hard as I dont know you personally do cant give that deeper advice that is tailored to you that you probably need. Try and find someone you have met (or try and meet someone in a club or talk to a couple) who can help face to face.
My 2c.  |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"
I had a fantastic meet (or so I thought) with someone a few weeks ago. We had spent a lot of time talking beforehand and I shared a lot of personal stuff. He ghosted me straight afterwards. To be fair, it’s the first time it happens for me on here, but that’s put me off meeting more people.
I think that for many guys “NSA” really means one off- and I don’t want any one offs at all. But they will chat and establish a rapport only to disappear afterwards...
"
This men will literally do anything and say all the right things to get a meet. Once you meet they disappear.
" of course I want regular " translates to " once I've fucked you , I will ghost you " |
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"
I had a fantastic meet (or so I thought) with someone a few weeks ago. We had spent a lot of time talking beforehand and I shared a lot of personal stuff. He ghosted me straight afterwards. To be fair, it’s the first time it happens for me on here, but that’s put me off meeting more people.
I think that for many guys “NSA” really means one off- and I don’t want any one offs at all. But they will chat and establish a rapport only to disappear afterwards...
This men will literally do anything and say all the right things to get a meet. Once you meet they disappear.
" of course I want regular " translates to " once I've fucked you , I will ghost you " "
Same with "not looking to sleep with the whole site, only looking for on fwb" then discover they've been fucking the whole site and have 4 FBs. Which is nothing wrong in having sex with people but trying to make out they aren't is different matter.
Prolific profile creators a new account when they've got so many verifications especially from what persons considered undesirable by most due to their activities, or been blocked by so many people they start again. It doesn't help themselves using the same profile pics over and over they just get blocked straight away by the very people they keep trying to message. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right? "
If you mean how to find the guys who really know how to treat a woman and are great lovers... then surely verifications is the way ?
There are single guys in this site with long lists of amazing verifications, they just are rare. Then there are the 1000’s of duffers.... just like all those guys constantly moaning about getting no meets , I guess girls have to compete and up their game to get the guys that are worth it ? |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"
I had a fantastic meet (or so I thought) with someone a few weeks ago. We had spent a lot of time talking beforehand and I shared a lot of personal stuff. He ghosted me straight afterwards. To be fair, it’s the first time it happens for me on here, but that’s put me off meeting more people.
I think that for many guys “NSA” really means one off- and I don’t want any one offs at all. But they will chat and establish a rapport only to disappear afterwards...
This men will literally do anything and say all the right things to get a meet. Once you meet they disappear.
" of course I want regular " translates to " once I've fucked you , I will ghost you "
Same with "not looking to sleep with the whole site, only looking for on fwb" then discover they've been fucking the whole site and have 4 FBs. Which is nothing wrong in having sex with people but trying to make out they aren't is different matter.
Prolific profile creators a new account when they've got so many verifications especially from what persons considered undesirable by most due to their activities, or been blocked by so many people they start again. It doesn't help themselves using the same profile pics over and over they just get blocked straight away by the very people they keep trying to message."
Even better are the ones that want exclusive.... yet they're fucking anything and everything behind your back and thinking you won't find out  |
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"
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
If you mean how to find the guys who really know how to treat a woman and are great lovers... then surely verifications is the way ?
There are single guys in this site with long lists of amazing verifications, they just are rare. Then there are the 1000’s of duffers.... just like all those guys constantly moaning about getting no meets , I guess girls have to compete and up their game to get the guys that are worth it ? "
Verifications only mean they've been known to turn up on time, they've been known to treat someone with respect, that they've had hours of fun, that they seem the nicest person.
Doesn't mean they have behaved like that always. You don't see the negatives just the few positives.
I've met many with glowing verifications they weren't so glowing with me. But to notice most guys glowing verifications are women considered in a "higher league" visually better, but they think it's ok to treat me with no respect because I don't look on the same level as their verifiers.
It makes it hard to trust verifications
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"
Even better are the ones that want exclusive.... yet they're fucking anything and everything behind your back and thinking you won't find out "
Oh, I’ve had a few of those too... but Fab can be a very small world... very small indeed! lol! |
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It's horrible to see this happen with either men or women. There's a strange irony on Fab that quite often the disingenuous get opportunities via Fab, but are then a huge let-down, when genuine people who would grab those opportunities with both hands sometimes get very little opportunity to impress due to lack of response. It seems to mirror real life where people are often attracted to 'bad boys' (or girls).
It's fair to say I've regularly had zero response on here from those I do contact, while I do just fine attending clubs and socials and often see posts from women who've been let down and feel incredibly frustrated when I know there are really good people out there not getting any opportunities. I've met quite a few great single fellas who get no opportunities at all, but I guess Fab is often about initial attraction via a photograph and an instant yes/no scenario akin to swiping right or left on a dating app. Keep the faith though OP as there are worthwhile people here. Perhaps the ladies could perhaps cast their nets rather than just see what comes to them a little more sometimes? From the point of view of a single guy it would be great to see. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got ghosted literally last night lol, after driving 20 mile and waiting for over an hour only for profile to disappear I'd love to show you there are some good ones like your looking for jasmine, unfortunately i tick the boxes less the broad shoulder and big muscles haha |
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"It's horrible to see this happen with either men or women. There's a strange irony on Fab that quite often the disingenuous get opportunities via Fab, but are then a huge let-down, when genuine people who would grab those opportunities with both hands sometimes get very little opportunity to impress due to lack of response. It seems to mirror real life where people are often attracted to 'bad boys' (or girls).
It's fair to say I've regularly had zero response on here from those I do contact, while I do just fine attending clubs and socials and often see posts from women who've been let down and feel incredibly frustrated when I know there are really good people out there not getting any opportunities. I've met quite a few great single fellas who get no opportunities at all, but I guess Fab is often about initial attraction via a photograph and an instant yes/no scenario akin to swiping right or left on a dating app. Keep the faith though OP as there are worthwhile people here. Perhaps the ladies could perhaps cast their nets rather than just see what comes to them a little more sometimes? From the point of view of a single guy it would be great to see. "
Casting nets would be easier if the genuine guys put more effort into profiles. I've met some lovely guys because their messages were respectful but their profiles have been shockingly simple with one or two lines which are usually saying nothing more than looking to meet such and such and that's it. They will be overlooked because it says nothing about them or what they actually want. |
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"There’s lots of time wasters on here of all categories. But there are also lots of genuine people too. Unfortunately you just have to take the time to sift through the rubbish! If they have good verifications off a few people and repeat meets you have a better chance of a good night.
Good luck "
Even that doesn't seem to make much difference. Almost every verification I have ce via getting to know people through socials and club meets where we met in person largely by accident, whereas I get zero messages from women or couples on here and very few responses. I do wonder if it's the age old numbers game, whereas you have a more limited selection in a club, but meet in a more relaxed manner, enabling people to get to know you gently, without pressure. Who knows! Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had similar happen to me. Met a guy off here twice. After the first meet he twisted on that I couldn't verify him. After the second meet he started asking if we could set up a couples account so he could arrange a ffm whilst ignoring my requests for a fuck it's off putting. I suppose there isn't a way of knowing for sure because some people will play a role to manipulate you into giving them what they want. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
If you mean how to find the guys who really know how to treat a woman and are great lovers... then surely verifications is the way ?
There are single guys in this site with long lists of amazing verifications, they just are rare. Then there are the 1000’s of duffers.... just like all those guys constantly moaning about getting no meets , I guess girls have to compete and up their game to get the guys that are worth it ?
Verifications only mean they've been known to turn up on time, they've been known to treat someone with respect, that they've had hours of fun, that they seem the nicest person.
Doesn't mean they have behaved like that always. You don't see the negatives just the few positives.
I've met many with glowing verifications they weren't so glowing with me. But to notice most guys glowing verifications are women considered in a "higher league" visually better, but they think it's ok to treat me with no respect because I don't look on the same level as their verifiers.
It makes it hard to trust verifications
"
You can the difference between standard verifications that everyone gives and special ones, but point taken you don't know what happened after. It’s the best way though, that plus instinct, wisdom ?
Ever since the girls were small I made a point of taking them on dates individually, best restaurants, gift, open the car door for them in the hope that they would have an expectation how to be treated when they started dating.but never once considered teaching them how to spot great lovers....  |
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"There is -definitely- a dry spell right now... I remember your last thread and I was rather optimistic, now, not so sure, as I feel I’m experiencing the same! lol!
I had a fantastic meet (or so I thought) with someone a few weeks ago. We had spent a lot of time talking beforehand and I shared a lot of personal stuff. He ghosted me straight afterwards. To be fair, it’s the first time it happens for me on here, but that’s put me off meeting more people.
I think that for many guys “NSA” really means one off- and I don’t want any one offs at all. But they will chat and establish a rapport only to disappear afterwards...
Trying yo stay away and concentrate in my running but it’s difficult! "
A dry spell? - with a profile like that?!?!?!? I find that staggering! Your photos are exceptional too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The fact is you can’t tell if a meet is going to work out, so just get out there and play and those you don’t click with you won’t play with again, those you do, you will.
It’s swinging just get out and play, those that ghost, mess you around etc etc just move on, it’s just supposed to be mutual fun, nothing more x |
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"
I had a fantastic meet (or so I thought) with someone a few weeks ago. We had spent a lot of time talking beforehand and I shared a lot of personal stuff. He ghosted me straight afterwards. To be fair, it’s the first time it happens for me on here, but that’s put me off meeting more people.
I think that for many guys “NSA” really means one off- and I don’t want any one offs at all. But they will chat and establish a rapport only to disappear afterwards...
This men will literally do anything and say all the right things to get a meet. Once you meet they disappear.
" of course I want regular " translates to " once I've fucked you , I will ghost you " "
In the case of some yes, many possibly - ALL no, but in some cases the good guys can get overlooked, or lost in the pack. |
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"
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
If you mean how to find the guys who really know how to treat a woman and are great lovers... then surely verifications is the way ?
There are single guys in this site with long lists of amazing verifications, they just are rare. Then there are the 1000’s of duffers.... just like all those guys constantly moaning about getting no meets , I guess girls have to compete and up their game to get the guys that are worth it ? "
Yes, but some of those who do have those verifications rarely even get their profiles looked at. |
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"It's horrible to see this happen with either men or women. There's a strange irony on Fab that quite often the disingenuous get opportunities via Fab, but are then a huge let-down, when genuine people who would grab those opportunities with both hands sometimes get very little opportunity to impress due to lack of response. It seems to mirror real life where people are often attracted to 'bad boys' (or girls).
It's fair to say I've regularly had zero response on here from those I do contact, while I do just fine attending clubs and socials and often see posts from women who've been let down and feel incredibly frustrated when I know there are really good people out there not getting any opportunities. I've met quite a few great single fellas who get no opportunities at all, but I guess Fab is often about initial attraction via a photograph and an instant yes/no scenario akin to swiping right or left on a dating app. Keep the faith though OP as there are worthwhile people here. Perhaps the ladies could perhaps cast their nets rather than just see what comes to them a little more sometimes? From the point of view of a single guy it would be great to see.
Casting nets would be easier if the genuine guys put more effort into profiles. I've met some lovely guys because their messages were respectful but their profiles have been shockingly simple with one or two lines which are usually saying nothing more than looking to meet such and such and that's it. They will be overlooked because it says nothing about them or what they actually want."
I've been told by female friends on here that mine is really good (I hope they were being honest!) but it doesn't get me views if I'm honest and first messages from women are something out of mythology for me, although some guys on the forums claim to get plenty I know. I'd like to think I'm one of the flas that does make an effort, but it doesn't bring more success, unless you count that which comes from clubs and organised socials. |
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"
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
If you mean how to find the guys who really know how to treat a woman and are great lovers... then surely verifications is the way ?
There are single guys in this site with long lists of amazing verifications, they just are rare. Then there are the 1000’s of duffers.... just like all those guys constantly moaning about getting no meets , I guess girls have to compete and up their game to get the guys that are worth it ?
Verifications only mean they've been known to turn up on time, they've been known to treat someone with respect, that they've had hours of fun, that they seem the nicest person.
Doesn't mean they have behaved like that always. You don't see the negatives just the few positives.
I've met many with glowing verifications they weren't so glowing with me. But to notice most guys glowing verifications are women considered in a "higher league" visually better, but they think it's ok to treat me with no respect because I don't look on the same level as their verifiers.
It makes it hard to trust verifications
You can the difference between standard verifications that everyone gives and special ones, but point taken you don't know what happened after. It’s the best way though, that plus instinct, wisdom ?
Ever since the girls were small I made a point of taking them on dates individually, best restaurants, gift, open the car door for them in the hope that they would have an expectation how to be treated when they started dating.but never once considered teaching them how to spot great lovers.... "
That's very true. I'm now very much 'real world' friends with a good number of mine, having met at various events in and outside Fab. Does that maybe say good things? I'd hope so. |
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"It's horrible to see this happen with either men or women. There's a strange irony on Fab that quite often the disingenuous get opportunities via Fab, but are then a huge let-down, when genuine people who would grab those opportunities with both hands sometimes get very little opportunity to impress due to lack of response. It seems to mirror real life where people are often attracted to 'bad boys' (or girls).
It's fair to say I've regularly had zero response on here from those I do contact, while I do just fine attending clubs and socials and often see posts from women who've been let down and feel incredibly frustrated when I know there are really good people out there not getting any opportunities. I've met quite a few great single fellas who get no opportunities at all, but I guess Fab is often about initial attraction via a photograph and an instant yes/no scenario akin to swiping right or left on a dating app. Keep the faith though OP as there are worthwhile people here. Perhaps the ladies could perhaps cast their nets rather than just see what comes to them a little more sometimes? From the point of view of a single guy it would be great to see.
Casting nets would be easier if the genuine guys put more effort into profiles. I've met some lovely guys because their messages were respectful but their profiles have been shockingly simple with one or two lines which are usually saying nothing more than looking to meet such and such and that's it. They will be overlooked because it says nothing about them or what they actually want.
I've been told by female friends on here that mine is really good (I hope they were being honest!) but it doesn't get me views if I'm honest and first messages from women are something out of mythology for me, although some guys on the forums claim to get plenty I know. I'd like to think I'm one of the flas that does make an effort, but it doesn't bring more success, unless you count that which comes from clubs and organised socials. "
Since most people stealth browse profiles no one should take how many views they get as absolute. Should pay it no mind because you'll get a lot of views just means people who aren't interested haven't messaged. 1 message I'd say is success as a man since many don't get even 1. As a woman, men and couples barely read a profile and generally only look at the photos and then message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's horrible to see this happen with either men or women. There's a strange irony on Fab that quite often the disingenuous get opportunities via Fab, but are then a huge let-down, when genuine people who would grab those opportunities with both hands sometimes get very little opportunity to impress due to lack of response. It seems to mirror real life where people are often attracted to 'bad boys' (or girls).
It's fair to say I've regularly had zero response on here from those I do contact, while I do just fine attending clubs and socials and often see posts from women who've been let down and feel incredibly frustrated when I know there are really good people out there not getting any opportunities. I've met quite a few great single fellas who get no opportunities at all, but I guess Fab is often about initial attraction via a photograph and an instant yes/no scenario akin to swiping right or left on a dating app. Keep the faith though OP as there are worthwhile people here. Perhaps the ladies could perhaps cast their nets rather than just see what comes to them a little more sometimes? From the point of view of a single guy it would be great to see.
Casting nets would be easier if the genuine guys put more effort into profiles. I've met some lovely guys because their messages were respectful but their profiles have been shockingly simple with one or two lines which are usually saying nothing more than looking to meet such and such and that's it. They will be overlooked because it says nothing about them or what they actually want.
I've been told by female friends on here that mine is really good (I hope they were being honest!) but it doesn't get me views if I'm honest and first messages from women are something out of mythology for me, although some guys on the forums claim to get plenty I know. I'd like to think I'm one of the flas that does make an effort, but it doesn't bring more success, unless you count that which comes from clubs and organised socials. "
I am privileged to get the odd one or two now and again unfortunately they either arnt what I'm looking for or are too far away lol or when they are close enough and start chatting.... the ghosting begins when you try to arrange something (or it's a catfish lol) hahaha |
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"It's horrible to see this happen with either men or women. There's a strange irony on Fab that quite often the disingenuous get opportunities via Fab, but are then a huge let-down, when genuine people who would grab those opportunities with both hands sometimes get very little opportunity to impress due to lack of response. It seems to mirror real life where people are often attracted to 'bad boys' (or girls).
It's fair to say I've regularly had zero response on here from those I do contact, while I do just fine attending clubs and socials and often see posts from women who've been let down and feel incredibly frustrated when I know there are really good people out there not getting any opportunities. I've met quite a few great single fellas who get no opportunities at all, but I guess Fab is often about initial attraction via a photograph and an instant yes/no scenario akin to swiping right or left on a dating app. Keep the faith though OP as there are worthwhile people here. Perhaps the ladies could perhaps cast their nets rather than just see what comes to them a little more sometimes? From the point of view of a single guy it would be great to see.
Casting nets would be easier if the genuine guys put more effort into profiles. I've met some lovely guys because their messages were respectful but their profiles have been shockingly simple with one or two lines which are usually saying nothing more than looking to meet such and such and that's it. They will be overlooked because it says nothing about them or what they actually want.
I've been told by female friends on here that mine is really good (I hope they were being honest!) but it doesn't get me views if I'm honest and first messages from women are something out of mythology for me, although some guys on the forums claim to get plenty I know. I'd like to think I'm one of the flas that does make an effort, but it doesn't bring more success, unless you count that which comes from clubs and organised socials.
Since most people stealth browse profiles no one should take how many views they get as absolute. Should pay it no mind because you'll get a lot of views just means people who aren't interested haven't messaged. 1 message I'd say is success as a man since many don't get even 1. As a woman, men and couples barely read a profile and generally only look at the photos and then message. "
I guess that's true in many cases as female friends have said that too. I can say hand on heart that some of us absolutely DO read and digest. I'll often NOT message someone who's profile and photos I really like, simply because I don't fit what they're after and don't want to remotely irritate by messaging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had similar happen to me. Met a guy off here twice. After the first meet he twisted on that I couldn't verify him. After the second meet he started asking if we could set up a couples account so he could arrange a ffm whilst ignoring my requests for a fuck it's off putting. I suppose there isn't a way of knowing for sure because some people will play a role to manipulate you into giving them what they want. "
That's crazy |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Meeting someone on Fab is no different to meeting on any vanilla site or face to face in real life.
You can never predict the outcome of a meet, whether play or social. If a meet doesn't meet expectations? Move on. Exactly how you would after a vanilla date.
I never understand why people think Fab is a magical pathway to finding exactly what you want at the drop of a hat. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince or try a glass slipper on a few feet to find a good fit.
Nothing in life is guaranteed. But if you dont try you'll never succeed.
It's no easier or harder on here than the real world. Except at least on here you dont have the potentially awkward moment of discussing sexual tendencies and that first time of seeing each other naked. Every cloud.......
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a swinging site so guys are going to blag and say they want fwb if that's the vibe you give out. Every meet should be both parties giving their best selves. If you both want a repeat then great but it's not a place to be territorial.
If you're concerned about being used for veri don't meet or accept messages from unverified.
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Is it really that bad for men to even not ger one message in a week? Is it worse on dating sites? I find I get way more messages on here but just don't wana spend my precious time on time wasters but now no idea who is good or bad as one member said some people just good at playing the game. After all, we all just want fun and great sex, right? No idea why it's so friggin hard to find on a swinging site. Lol i get more random sex from other means. Literally still a fab virgin |
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"
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
If you mean how to find the guys who really know how to treat a woman and are great lovers... then surely verifications is the way ?
There are single guys in this site with long lists of amazing verifications, they just are rare. Then there are the 1000’s of duffers.... just like all those guys constantly moaning about getting no meets , I guess girls have to compete and up their game to get the guys that are worth it ?
Verifications only mean they've been known to turn up on time, they've been known to treat someone with respect, that they've had hours of fun, that they seem the nicest person.
Doesn't mean they have behaved like that always. You don't see the negatives just the few positives.
I've met many with glowing verifications they weren't so glowing with me. But to notice most guys glowing verifications are women considered in a "higher league" visually better, but they think it's ok to treat me with no respect because I don't look on the same level as their verifiers.
It makes it hard to trust verifications
You can the difference between standard verifications that everyone gives and special ones, but point taken you don't know what happened after. It’s the best way though, that plus instinct, wisdom ?
Ever since the girls were small I made a point of taking them on dates individually, best restaurants, gift, open the car door for them in the hope that they would have an expectation how to be treated when they started dating.but never once considered teaching them how to spot great lovers.... "
Aww thats so sweet parenting. My parents are the same. Brought me up with good wholesome morals |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
You've not said why the first two meets were 'disappointing' or what made him feel the need to say it would be better next time - but perhaps the key lies in that.
For example if you found his "performance" disappointing and it was obvious enough that he felt the need to comment perhaps that is the reason he's gone quiet as he's embarrassed and not sure he can meet your needs.
Regardless of that though, it happens a lot, from all categories of user - and sometimes without apparent rhyme or reason - maybe they had real life issues to deal with, maybe they weren't as into you as you were them, maybe someone else caught their eye or a myriad of other reasons.
I learned a long time ago not to let it bother me overly, it's partly the nature of the site, and partly human nature - and it's not that different from any other part of life really - some people appear in it fleetingly, some people are there for longer, there's no rhyme or reason to it, it's just the way life works. |
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"Is it really that bad for men to even not ger one message in a week? Is it worse on dating sites? I find I get way more messages on here but just don't wana spend my precious time on time wasters but now no idea who is good or bad as one member said some people just good at playing the game. After all, we all just want fun and great sex, right? No idea why it's so friggin hard to find on a swinging site. Lol i get more random sex from other means. Literally still a fab virgin"
Yes, it's a fact about zero messages. In five years I've had two messages - one of which I'm certain was actually a man. Not suggesting the guys who say they get regular messages don't, but I'd love to know what it is they do, unless they just happen to look like an Adonis. 
I'm finding it amazing on this thread hearing about the issues you ladies have. It definitely shouldn't be hard for you and you ALL deserve to be treated with respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont get why they even allow cam verifications still. I thought this was a swinging site where people actually meet and enjoy the lifestyle. It has changed alot in the 10years I've been on here on and off. |
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I've flexed things a bit, so I change what I'm looking for quite often. Usually I am very difficult to meet and I think that the longer term experience of ing out people improves your abilities a lot. If you lower your expectations too, reframing meets as just an opportunity to learn about others, have light hearted interaction for a brighter day, you're less likely to be disappointed etc.
It can be helpful to meet more people, to refine your skills and I spent a good time in clubs, for balance against online meetings. |
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.) so this guy potentially filled the spot of ' perfect' you had a great meet with him you left on friendly terms and you verified him and him you straight away then he ghosted you and you blocked him?
No the two meet ups I had was disappointing. He apologised saying he make it better next time. Next time never came as he ghosted me by not returning my messages. I know he's alive as he was on fab last night so i blocked him knowing he only met me to help his verifications as he did ask me in a round about way how to get more women on fab on our last meet. "
Or like you he knew they were disappointing meets and chickened out of admitting that
Ms Icebreaker |
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"I've flexed things a bit, so I change what I'm looking for quite often. Usually I am very difficult to meet and I think that the longer term experience of ing out people improves your abilities a lot. If you lower your expectations too, reframing meets as just an opportunity to learn about others, have light hearted interaction for a brighter day, you're less likely to be disappointed etc.
It can be helpful to meet more people, to refine your skills and I spent a good time in clubs, for balance against online meetings. "
For me, i only really have afew hours like once a month to meet people hence why i don't date and thought fab be a good idea. I just don't like meeting liars or ghosters so that's what disappointed me the most. Let alone the terrible sex. But yes I'm trying to fit a day to go to a club. I'm actually petrified of going as I'm very shy and nervous about men in person. |
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"I dont get why they even allow cam verifications still. I thought this was a swinging site where people actually meet and enjoy the lifestyle. It has changed alot in the 10years I've been on here on and off."
What's wrong with cam verification? it's a completely different world on fab for women and safety is our number one priority. Plus some people feel safer just having cam fun first before meeting. Maybe not use cam chats as a verification I understand but I guess fab management feel like there is still a valid use for it. But to nick pick my profile because I have only cam verifications on display is abit harsh? Duno what you trying to imply by that comment tbh? |
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"You've not said why the first two meets were 'disappointing' or what made him feel the need to say it would be better next time - but perhaps the key lies in that.
For example if you found his "performance" disappointing and it was obvious enough that he felt the need to comment perhaps that is the reason he's gone quiet as he's embarrassed and not sure he can meet your needs.
Regardless of that though, it happens a lot, from all categories of user - and sometimes without apparent rhyme or reason - maybe they had real life issues to deal with, maybe they weren't as into you as you were them, maybe someone else caught their eye or a myriad of other reasons.
I learned a long time ago not to let it bother me overly, it's partly the nature of the site, and partly human nature - and it's not that different from any other part of life really - some people appear in it fleetingly, some people are there for longer, there's no rhyme or reason to it, it's just the way life works."
Trust me, I know from how it went if he was genuine after all. But I gave him a chance to show what kind of person he was and basically it was self centred reasons. As if he really had life issues to deal with, would he still go on fab and Snapchat every day etc? A true gentleman would just explain himself, doesn't have to be an essay, afew words saying "sorry, can no longer meet again, no hard feelings"... Are people worried rejection like that turn the recipient into a psycho? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.) "
Maybe change your age range, might get more genuine prople  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice would be attend a club get to know the regulars, staff etc. Even if your new to clubs a venues staff will make sure you ok and not hassled. If you get unwanted attention say leave me alone if they don’t report them to staff. Can certainly recommend a few clubs down south that will look after you, Abfabs/Kestrels, Hellfire, VA etc otherwise pop along with a couple. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Trust me, I know from how it went if he was genuine after all. But I gave him a chance to show what kind of person he was and basically it was self centred reasons. As if he really had life issues to deal with, would he still go on fab and Snapchat every day etc? A true gentleman would just explain himself, doesn't have to be an essay, afew words saying "sorry, can no longer meet again, no hard feelings"... Are people worried rejection like that turn the recipient into a psycho? Lol "
Well to turn it around somewhat - we see daily that women don't reply to all men that message them because they are worried about the abuse they will get back, and that is deemed as ok - so by the same chalk perhaps people have the same fears after meeting someone (and they're possibly more valid if you have got to know that person) - I'm absolutely *not* saying that was the case here but it perhaps explains why some people adopt a "say nothing" approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers, I've been on here over 7 months now. Coming towards end of my subscription. I haven't had the best time but it's definitely been an interesting experience. I regularly chat on forums and try to create a profile that gives confidence to male members I am genuine and love to fulfil my sexual pleasures with the right guy...
But my last actual meet was a real disappointment. Left feeling he only met me to get a verification to meet other women. As he totally ghost me when I tried to contact him again (we left on a good positive note on our second meet where he said we definitely should meet again for a longer and more comfortable meet) now I am so hesitant meeting anyone else, worried they too will play this game where they promise you everything but in the end deliver you nothing.
How can you tell the difference between a dud and someone who potentially will fufil your sexual desires. Afterall, that's why we are on FAB right?
(I don't usually get much of a response from posting on forums. This is my last go at posting fab question.. promise.) "
At least he turned up, just back from a no show, total waste of a day |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
Sure its NSA but for me if it's meets outside of clubs and you have a connection, which is probably what brought you together in the first place, its quite natural that two people having had a good time might want to meet again if it's a mutual thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah chin up hunni they are definitely not worth it I should know it's happened to me so many times it's ridiculous unfortunately this site is like that everyone can get taken in by someone promising all sorts n it's just lies n bs how do they sleep I wonder so just a wee message of encouragement don't give up u do get rare gems on here believe me xx |
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"This is NSA. Doesn't need to be cold but they're under no obligation to stay in contact with you. If they change their mind or whatever that's up to them.
It's no strings."
Pretty much this.
We preffer repeat meets where possible. Nice to make friends and have people we are comfy with if you get my drift. Sometimes though, after a meet and promises to do it all again we never hear from the other party ever again.
We just dont let it get us down. For whatever their own reasons, people come and go from this site and lifestyle all the time. For the one person or persons who's not going to see you again there are others who will. |
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"This is NSA. Doesn't need to be cold but they're under no obligation to stay in contact with you. If they change their mind or whatever that's up to them.
It's no strings.
Pretty much this.
We preffer repeat meets where possible. Nice to make friends and have people we are comfy with if you get my drift. Sometimes though, after a meet and promises to do it all again we never hear from the other party ever again.
We just dont let it get us down. For whatever their own reasons, people come and go from this site and lifestyle all the time. For the one person or persons who's not going to see you again there are others who will."
So you're condoning rudeness? I sent him messages after he said he definitely wants to see me again blah blah. At least he could of been polite as just said "no thanks". I understand the concept of NSA but why should people be disrespectful when we always been polite, chatty and after all intimate with each other. NSA shouldn't mean you treat someone like an object. Therefore, proof he was not the person he claimed to be: a gentleman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t believe a guy met you and doesn’t want to continue meeting you! Is he mad. Drop me a message op and let’s chat"
Maybe he wasn't feeling it. Not that hard to believe |
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By *azpiz1Man
over a year ago
Camberley |
How can you prove you are genuine? Yes, a lot of guys on here will say anything to get laid, and, of course, I could be one of them, but let's assume I'm not, and that I really am genuine about finding someone regular - how do I prove it? |
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