FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ed and swinging
Ed and swinging
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hi guys. How do guys with ed cope with not being able to rise to the occasion when playing as part of a couple?
Ladies is there anything that guy with ed can do for you that makes sure your not disappointed with a meet?
I had an ex take a razorblade to my genitals when we split us and sometimes I have performance issues. It's not often but I don't want it to ruin the experience for my wife. I want her to have fun as well as the other lady that joins us. I learned to please orally and we always have a bag of toys when we go to the club just in case. I have prescription Cialis I take each day and so far it's not really been an issue but it's always at the back of my mind that it could pop up....or not 
What are your thoughts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hello, I've just read your verifications and I'm thinking that you're possibly overthinking it.
I can honestly tell you that, it's pretty normal for it to happen on the odd occasion. One time, I couldn't get hard at all and it really knocked my confidence. I'd say two or three times in the past, I've struggled to stay hard. I have no medical reason for it and mine is very healthy, but the embarrassment of that time still haunts me sometimes!
If you chat to women on here, they will tell you that it's actually common. You're not alone. Don't expect many men to admit it though.
In my opinion, the reason for me was performance anxiety - maybe it's the same for you. Do you tell yourself constantly about the injury? Do you worry about it probably more than you should? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I suffer from low testosterone but that's being delt with. The injury caused issues in the past. Had a year or 2 when I struggled with my wife but that's resolved now. But your right that if it happens semi regularly in the past it can have a psychological knock on effect. I just wonder how others deal with it and the female point of view |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I suffer from low testosterone but that's being delt with. The injury caused issues in the past. Had a year or 2 when I struggled with my wife but that's resolved now. But your right that if it happens semi regularly in the past it can have a psychological knock on effect. I just wonder how others deal with it and the female point of view"
I see... For me, it was all in my head. The times when I look back to those few occasions, I was overthinking it on every occasion. It was definitely performance anxiety.
It may or may not help you, but have you tried clubs? We seem to self limit ourselves. Eventually, in clubs, men can be so used to it that nothing bothers them anymore. Guys there have all seen dicks, they've all gone soft at some point, etc. If you realise that it happens to us all at some point, then I guess you can stop worrying about it. The less you worry, the better it gets I guess.
Women's view; With my limited experience with that, women don't appear to be very critical about it. Some I've known have had their own anxieties. "He's gone soft because I'm fat" or such things... "He's not into me" or whatever.
Some of my female friends in the past had told me about certain situations and stuff, and to be honest, it's not something which I'd be overly concerned about. My own sister came to me one time and told me that her boyfriend couldn't get hard with her. I said, he'll be fine, it's performance anxiety. He was cured within a month or so.
It's just all in the head as far as I know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
ED is very common every guy experiences it at least once in their life for a variety of reasons. Anxiety induced ED it's good to rem_mber and to keep telling yourself that sex isn't all about using your penis.
Arm yourself with knowledge of other pleasurable things to do which would be the safety net for you should you experience it on an occasion. Knowing you have back up means less performance anxiety.
I've found it happens more when a guy starts to think that they won't be able to please their sexual partner and the feeling becomes an avalanche of anxiety and dread. Cycle of what if it happens to oh no it's going to happen then you start to go flaccid then it's back to oh no I'm not going to be able pleasure them. The cycle repeats.
If you start to think those thoughts take a deep breath and concentrate on the actual feeling and mechanics of what you are doing, feel your cock enter and what your cock feels ignore the little voice in your head. Change the focus of your thoughts.
Sadly for a few you have antidepressant induced ED that's trickier to solve because that's caused by serotonin produced from pleasure and since antidepressants cause increased levels the body says you have enough now you're pleasured triggering ED. Reduction in dosage can help or medication prescribed to help keep the erection depending on what your gp suggests. They will only prescribe Viagra and such if they believe the lack of erection is causing further mental health issues.
Then you have other types of ED medication induced eg prostate medication can cause ED this is where talking to a gp will help just as with antidepressant induced ED you can get medication either pills, gels, injections and such. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The first time I swung, I could hardly get it up. I think it was seeing the size of the other guy's cock and how much my gf wanted it.
I was not (consciously) jealous at all. In fact, it excited me to see her excited. Yet, my little fella would not join in.
Naturally, I was embarrassed. However, the other couple acted like it was perfectly normal and I had my first limp blowjob ever. (I recommened it.) She was lovely and it was strangely even a positive experience for me.
This is a long-winded way to say that it happens, it's fairly common amd most decent mature people can cope with it. My advice is to use the time whilst this is an issue for you to improve your other skills. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh my fucking god a razor blade what a complete nutter!!!!!
Don’t stress and I’m sure it will happen less but if the seed is in your mind then it will grow and spoil your enjoyment which hopefully doesn’t need to happen.
You ask how couples approach swinging with ED well for us it’s simple we don’t meet couples or lady’s as there’s no point so we are here just for my wife to enjoy herself and that in turn will give me pleasure hopefully!!!
Sex was my life and made me who I was which for long periods of my life was a sex addict.
At one stage it got so bad I had five fuck buddies on the go and at times fucked them all in one day and to be fair it was a relief when I stopped but then my hard proud cock got taken away by my own stupidity and a love of chocolate.
Men don’t know what they have til they lose it and it took me two years to come to terms with the loss of my manhood but you get there.
When you go to play think of tits slits and anything other than your cock.
Your story is not the best but trust me you are very lucky indeed so best hard cock forward and enjoy yourself!!!!!
T |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Oh my fucking god a razor blade what a complete nutter!!!!!
Don’t stress and I’m sure it will happen less but if the seed is in your mind then it will grow and spoil your enjoyment which hopefully doesn’t need to happen.
You ask how couples approach swinging with ED well for us it’s simple we don’t meet couples or lady’s as there’s no point so we are here just for my wife to enjoy herself and that in turn will give me pleasure hopefully!!!
Sex was my life and made me who I was which for long periods of my life was a sex addict.
At one stage it got so bad I had five fuck buddies on the go and at times fucked them all in one day and to be fair it was a relief when I stopped but then my hard proud cock got taken away by my own stupidity and a love of chocolate.
Men don’t know what they have til they lose it and it took me two years to come to terms with the loss of my manhood but you get there.
When you go to play think of tits slits and anything other than your cock.
Your story is not the best but trust me you are very lucky indeed so best hard cock forward and enjoy yourself!!!!!
T"
I'm assuming your ED is caused by diabetes?
You can gain erection but it is a drastic solution, penile implants you'd never gain a natural erection since it destroys the tissue inserting the implants.
Some have success with injections but that itself some struggle with the actual injecting your own penis but the effect lasts for several hours.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
hubs has type one diabetes and meds for heart probs plus other meds for other things too was on Viagra for a while then they made him really ill so hes banned from any ed meds ..weve been swinging for 26 years done everything we ever wanted to do together and apart so he did not want to lose our sex life so he suggested we tried cuckolding because we loved the hotwife side of things little did we know how hot it would be for both of us and now the last 2 years has been cuckolding and we cant get enough of it as hes having bigger orgasms now than he ever did with a hard-on ... so our sex life now is very exciting as its always been before he was ill ..ed is not always the end sometimes its just the start... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh my fucking god a razor blade what a complete nutter!!!!!
Don’t stress and I’m sure it will happen less but if the seed is in your mind then it will grow and spoil your enjoyment which hopefully doesn’t need to happen.
You ask how couples approach swinging with ED well for us it’s simple we don’t meet couples or lady’s as there’s no point so we are here just for my wife to enjoy herself and that in turn will give me pleasure hopefully!!!
Sex was my life and made me who I was which for long periods of my life was a sex addict.
At one stage it got so bad I had five fuck buddies on the go and at times fucked them all in one day and to be fair it was a relief when I stopped but then my hard proud cock got taken away by my own stupidity and a love of chocolate.
Men don’t know what they have til they lose it and it took me two years to come to terms with the loss of my manhood but you get there.
When you go to play think of tits slits and anything other than your cock.
Your story is not the best but trust me you are very lucky indeed so best hard cock forward and enjoy yourself!!!!!
T
I'm assuming your ED is caused by diabetes?
You can gain erection but it is a drastic solution, penile implants you'd never gain a natural erection since it destroys the tissue inserting the implants.
Some have success with injections but that itself some struggle with the actual injecting your own penis but the effect lasts for several hours.
"
Yes it is indeed caused my diabetes and my addiction to chocolate and the fact that I’m a stupid man!!
Didn’t fancy the implant route and with most changes to ones life we learnt to adapt and live with it.
It’s not a problem apart from the fact we can’t have sex and when you live some one that can be hard (no pun) to deal with hence the reason we are on here.
Couple the ED with the fact that I jizz into my bladder and not outward now I’m a right freak!!!!
T |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Oh my fucking god a razor blade what a complete nutter!!!!!
Don’t stress and I’m sure it will happen less but if the seed is in your mind then it will grow and spoil your enjoyment which hopefully doesn’t need to happen.
You ask how couples approach swinging with ED well for us it’s simple we don’t meet couples or lady’s as there’s no point so we are here just for my wife to enjoy herself and that in turn will give me pleasure hopefully!!!
Sex was my life and made me who I was which for long periods of my life was a sex addict.
At one stage it got so bad I had five fuck buddies on the go and at times fucked them all in one day and to be fair it was a relief when I stopped but then my hard proud cock got taken away by my own stupidity and a love of chocolate.
Men don’t know what they have til they lose it and it took me two years to come to terms with the loss of my manhood but you get there.
When you go to play think of tits slits and anything other than your cock.
Your story is not the best but trust me you are very lucky indeed so best hard cock forward and enjoy yourself!!!!!
T
I'm assuming your ED is caused by diabetes?
You can gain erection but it is a drastic solution, penile implants you'd never gain a natural erection since it destroys the tissue inserting the implants.
Some have success with injections but that itself some struggle with the actual injecting your own penis but the effect lasts for several hours.
Yes it is indeed caused my diabetes and my addiction to chocolate and the fact that I’m a stupid man!!
Didn’t fancy the implant route and with most changes to ones life we learnt to adapt and live with it.
It’s not a problem apart from the fact we can’t have sex and when you live some one that can be hard (no pun) to deal with hence the reason we are on here.
Couple the ED with the fact that I jizz into my bladder and not outward now I’m a right freak!!!!
T"
You're not a freak for the diversion of your ejaculate into the bladder. In some cultures it's practiced as retaining life essence. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know Inanna I was merely joshing but thankfully with five kids we are done on that front otherwise I’d have to cum and piss inside my wife.
Great profile by the way.
T |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know Inanna I was merely joshing but thankfully with five kids we are done on that front otherwise I’d have to cum and piss inside my wife.
Great profile by the way.
T"
Wouldn't that be a funny story explaining the conception to them when they are older. It took a lot of towels and a mop  I suppose just as funny as a parent saying to their child "my dear you were conceived in the back of a mini" then them wondering how on earth their parents managed that.
And thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve been the wife who is playing with the other partner whilst they were unable to “rise to the occasion” a couple of times tbh. Honestly I never view it as such a big deal. Infact it’s quite fun getting creative. Kudos to you for bringing a bag of toys too. Men have more to offer than an erect penis and it’s good to see a man who knows that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
OP I'd deal with it by telling you it's not an issue. The reason being, it's really not an issue.
There are so many more things that you can do to please a woman and for her to please you.
How you deal with it is key, just do the stuff you'd do anyway and enjoy it.
xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have ED and only get semi hard. Viagra doesn't work for me but the desire is still there. It does make getting meets more difficult but I have had meets on here and elsewhere where it hasn't been a big issue. As a previous poster said there are plenty of ways to enjoy yourself
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There are other ways to pleasure a woman without full penetration. Your tongue and fingers are still working, I assume? Toys help, too, but not every woman likes them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I learned well how to use my tongue and touch after got cut. Toys help but only if the lady wants it. I just get self conscious because my wife is a stunning woman and we aren't getting meets. I get unjustly paranoid I think |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
