Do you have this conversation right at the beginning before having sex with someone?
After the conversation, if their sexual history doesn't match to your usual moral standards e.g they had an affair enjoyed cheating etc, would you still continue arranging the meet eventhough it's thier past? |
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When dating on POF, I met a succession of women that all seemed to have lived the life of Mother Teresa. So I changed my profile to ‘far from an angel but not a player either’. That seemed to do the trick and I attracted women with a more colourful past. Their history, and mine of course made for interesting date discussions.
I’m now with a woman that’s been married three times and we often meet her previous ‘lovers’ when out in town.
She is as horny as hell and I sometimes get strangely turned on at some of her stories. |
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"Do you have this conversation right at the beginning before having sex with someone?
After the conversation, if their sexual history doesn't match to your usual moral standards e.g they had an affair enjoyed cheating etc, would you still continue arranging the meet eventhough it's thier past? "
We don't have that type of conversation with our casual partners. We might discuss our past in general but not specifically. What does put me off slightly is when a single guy tells me quite proudly, expecting me to be impressed, that he would never swing with someone he loved. That's fine but it reveals how they see us and our relationship. I also get put off by people who speak about women who have lots of sexual partners in derogatory terms.
It's more about attitudes to sex than history for me. |
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I don't discuss my past in detail unless it's exchanging comedy stories of sexual misadventure.
I don't pry too deeply into a lover's past either. I'm more concerned with who they are today.
It's different if you're seeing someone frequently for a period of time; you tend to spend more time then discussing the past and the way it influences your present.
We've all done dumb stuff in the past, me included, so I can't judge too harshly on that. If someone today held views and values that were incompatible with my own then it wouldn't go further than the social where those views or values came to light. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have this conversation right at the beginning before having sex with someone?
After the conversation, if their sexual history doesn't match to your usual moral standards e.g they had an affair enjoyed cheating etc, would you still continue arranging the meet eventhough it's thier past? "
Like others ... I don’t mind the odd story or interesting anecdote. But I’m unlikely to get them to fill in a form and review it in detail!
That said there are always things that might give red flags leading to a no ... unsafe practices etc. |
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"It’s frig all to do with anyone what I’ve done in my past! "
Yeah, I agree with this.
I'm not knocking anyone for their choices and how they choose partners but I think it's as well to remember the nature of the site, the likelihood that lots of us will have 'colourful" pasts and that many of us appreciate discretion from previous partners and will want to remain discreet ourselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dated someone in pof when I was on there.He seemed nice and we got on.Then after a few dates he started to let his false mask slip and I still liked him but I just knew he was a different person to what he first made out he was.I was ok with that as he still seemed ok and I really fancied him and we got on.Then he told me that he had cheated on his ex and had a full blown affair behind her back with a female work friend of his.That instant I disliked him and all the admiration I had for him went.I guess if your that decitetful and shady then the only person you will ever have feelings for is yourself.So I didn't see him again.Hes with a new gf now and engaged but that doubt stop him messaging me on fb asking if we could meet up.Not a chance and I'm glad I didn't sleep with him or fall for a self centred cheat.So yes sexual past can sometimes make a difference |
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By *eannaTV/TS
over a year ago
Cwmfelifach, nr Newport |
"I dated someone in pof when I was on there.He seemed nice and we got on.Then after a few dates he started to let his false mask slip and I still liked him but I just knew he was a different person to what he first made out he was.I was ok with that as he still seemed ok and I really fancied him and we got on.Then he told me that he had cheated on his ex and had a full blown affair behind her back with a female work friend of his.That instant I disliked him and all the admiration I had for him went.I guess if your that decitetful and shady then the only person you will ever have feelings for is yourself.So I didn't see him again.Hes with a new gf now and engaged but that doubt stop him messaging me on fb asking if we could meet up.Not a chance and I'm glad I didn't sleep with him or fall for a self centred cheat.So yes sexual past can sometimes make a difference "
At least you found out before anything became permanent within the relationship but that doesn't stop any hurt you experienced or give you faith in others, I at least can tell you my partner knows about me and knows I'm a member here and fabguys, she knows I give others pleasure. |
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