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Couples rules
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask?  |
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By *ustme1820Woman
over a year ago
Southcoast Gosport |
"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
you’ve answered your own question op for many it is a personal very intimate thing between partners. Personally I’d rather not kiss another person when meeting them for fun. |
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
We don't get it either OP. It was in our rulebook when we 1st started and lasted about 30 seconds when we realised for us, no kissing makes it feel sterile and hollow.
Even if we don't get it, fully respect those couples that have taken that choice and sure we've missed out on some potentially great meets because of this but c'est la vie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As with everything, comes down to personal choice.
For us though, we couldn't imagine an encounter without kissing. It's the cornerstone of foreplay, sensual and/or passionate, it really helps set the mood for the meet. |
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Our rules started off being quite specific, but over time we have got much more comfortable with what we are doing. Right now it is totally down to condoms for penetrative sex and don’t take one for the team!  |
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"As with everything, comes down to personal choice.
For us though, we couldn't imagine an encounter without kissing. It's the cornerstone of foreplay, sensual and/or passionate, it really helps set the mood for the meet. "
We agree with you on this but respect that others differ in their preferences. |
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
its quite simple. We don't want to kiss other people. We have it on our profile so that anyone who finds it a vital part of a meet doesn't need to contact us.
There's nothing to understand beyond the fact that like everything else sexual, if you don't want to do it, you don't. |
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By *E_13Couple
over a year ago
Burton on trent |
I used to not kiss but he did and it wasn't a rule just my preference. That changed though and now I'm happy kissing.
Our only thing is to be in each other's view as that turns us on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go with what we are comfortable with, we know what will do and won’t and just what suits. Communication is key and just talking about it is the best thing to do x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
We don’t understand either , sucking a cock seems a tad more intimate than a kiss! But then I’m also dubious about same room only, it’s very convenient to say you enjoy watching , my experience is most men struggle to perform when their parent is watching and most women prefer 100% of the mans attention |
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Because they just dont want to 
People have rules and we shouldn't question them. Couples spend a long time discussing boundaries and rules so they each have a reason but the why has nothing to do with anyone else. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"We don't have any, we like sharing everything "
No rules at all ? Would you spend the whole night in separate rooms, make them tea in the morning, and return for spooning and a morning fuck with each other’s partners? |
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
I don't think you're being disrespectful asking the question, OP. As many others have said, it's each to their own - everyone has their own things they are comfortable with, and their own way to play. I'm always interested to understand how other couples work, too!
Mrs TMN x |
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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago
harwich |
Like someone above we started of with loads of rules which them were consigned to the bin
weve never had a no kissing rule and would never play with anyone who had their choice but to cold without a good snog |
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"We don't have any, we like sharing everything
No rules at all ? Would you spend the whole night in separate rooms, make them tea in the morning, and return for spooning and a morning fuck with each other’s partners? "
Erm.... yup |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not a rule, just what we feel comfortable with.
I don't kiss when we play with single men. Tried it, didn't like it, felt unnatural. We kiss with couples if they want to. We don't know how we feel about kissing when meeting single women as that hasn't happened yet. We'll know once we try it.
Mrs |
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I think it’s definitely down to preference. It’s up to each individual couple to set their own limits. Some may find kissing too personal (but sucking dick is fine lol) kissing is definitely more intimate and I can see why some couples say no. It’s not about intimacy for some couples it’s about getting off.
We have our own rules like
No bum fun (preference)
Always wear condoms (also applies to hubby as if we want to play again the whole area is clean)
No recording/pictures
Be respectful
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"We have no rules other than it’s same room or nothing. We don’t understand the rules thing but that’s because everyone has their own thing "
I'm confused. You don't understand the rules thing, yet you have one yourselves? |
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I've never understood how anyone can believe that their world view must be shared by everyone else.
Whilst you may view kissing as equal or less intimate than fucking, why do you think others must share that value?
We do kiss and pretty much everything else with those we find attractive. But there is no way we would say penetration is more intimate than say (holding hands, kissing, a sensuous footrub).
Intimacy could be a loving whisper.
Or maybe it is being tied up and teased with a feather.
You don't have to understand others values, just respect them and not demean them by judging your own values to be superior. |
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"Because they just dont want to
People have rules and we shouldn't question them. Couples spend a long time discussing boundaries and rules so they each have a reason but the why has nothing to do with anyone else."
Well said sexies  |
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"I've never understood how anyone can believe that their world view must be shared by everyone else.
Whilst you may view kissing as equal or less intimate than fucking, why do you think others must share that value?
We do kiss and pretty much everything else with those we find attractive. But there is no way we would say penetration is more intimate than say (holding hands, kissing, a sensuous footrub).
Intimacy could be a loving whisper.
Or maybe it is being tied up and teased with a feather.
You don't have to understand others values, just respect them and not demean them by judging your own values to be superior. "
Well said too |
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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
I certainly don't think Mr nosy ( love you really xx) is questioning other people's preferences.. Merely curious as to why some things and not others are comfortable or not to share with others... We are still somewhat new to the scene and certainly have many things that we have discussed.... what we're are comfortable with and not others... It was Interesting to see our differences when we initially discussed our limits. But we are relaxing some absolute no's and adding things that we are not so comfortable with as we experience more... Initially I was a no kisser... For me it was/something I do to the person I love... However for me personally I found that kissing in lust is very different than kissing someone I love... But that's just how I have found it and is of course my personal opinion so after after time and experience I changed my mind... But I completely get the kissing thing...same way I can make love and I can fuck... I'm also a no bum fun with anyone but Mr.... Its just something I'm less trusting with... For now... So I guess preferences can change and reasons behind them all vary but are all equally valid.
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"We don't have any, we like sharing everything
No rules at all ? Would you spend the whole night in separate rooms, make them tea in the morning, and return for spooning and a morning fuck with each other’s partners? "
no because we aren't interested in couples |
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask?
its quite simple. We don't want to kiss other people. We have it on our profile so that anyone who finds it a vital part of a meet doesn't need to contact us.
There's nothing to understand beyond the fact that like everything else sexual, if you don't want to do it, you don't."
Exactly this. |
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"Some people find kissing too intimate.
In some ways, it's more intimate than fucking. That's why I love Alice kissing! "
Now you see, we don't understand this. How is kissing more intimate than sex? Isn't kissing whst hou used ti do round the back of the bike sheds or in the corner of the school yard? |
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"Some people find kissing too intimate.
In some ways, it's more intimate than fucking. That's why I love Alice kissing!
Now you see, we don't understand this. How is kissing more intimate than sex? Isn't kissing whst hou used ti do round the back of the bike sheds or in the corner of the school yard?"
I think you'll find that it's a fairly common sentiment. Clearly, not everyone feels that way, which is to be expected. Yet, a good mumber of people share the view. |
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The op literally said in his or her message that they understand everyone has a preference and they aren't judging that preference. They are asking WHY - did everyone get that WHY people have that rule for their opinion so they can better understand it. Don't have a go at the op when they stated their reason for asking. Or read all of the opening question before you reply. Tut.
I think op that a lot of people view kissing as an "intimate" and affectionate act. Because that's the meaning they put behind it. Anything can be intimate if the intent is there. For example if I sucked someone's cock because I loved them but then sucked another guys cock and only thought they were hot. Then my intent would be different in each situation. Something is only what you make it. Just because you kiss a person imo does not mean its intimate. It's only intimate if I make it.... If that makes sense.
Just because you don't kiss someone but you're bouncing on their dick and putting their cock in your mouth. Is that not arguably more intimate considering you are sharing your body with another? But of course because you haven't locked lips with them means that it's just sex.
You tend to find a lot of couples have that rule to begin with and over time the rules get less and less.
Imo if you're too jealous to see your partner kissing another you shouldn't be a swinger because it means you don't trust that person entirely. And what, you think that one kiss might sway them into falling in love with another? But then you let them openly fuck? And this is why I don't meet couples. |
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"The op literally said in his or her message that they understand everyone has a preference and they aren't judging that preference. They are asking WHY - did everyone get that WHY people have that rule for their opinion so they can better understand it. Don't have a go at the op when they stated their reason for asking. Or read all of the opening question before you reply. Tut.
I think op that a lot of people view kissing as an "intimate" and affectionate act. Because that's the meaning they put behind it. Anything can be intimate if the intent is there. For example if I sucked someone's cock because I loved them but then sucked another guys cock and only thought they were hot. Then my intent would be different in each situation. Something is only what you make it. Just because you kiss a person imo does not mean its intimate. It's only intimate if I make it.... If that makes sense.
Just because you don't kiss someone but you're bouncing on their dick and putting their cock in your mouth. Is that not arguably more intimate considering you are sharing your body with another? But of course because you haven't locked lips with them means that it's just sex.
You tend to find a lot of couples have that rule to begin with and over time the rules get less and less.
Imo if you're too jealous to see your partner kissing another you shouldn't be a swinger because it means you don't trust that person entirely. And what, you think that one kiss might sway them into falling in love with another? But then you let them openly fuck? And this is why I don't meet couples. "
Who said it's got anything to do with jealousy? |
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By *edVelveteenCouple
over a year ago
Heaven in the Midlands |
I've had enough gravel rash and gallons of saliva when they try to stick their tongue down my throat. Find nothing sexy in that! However, if it becomes obvious they have a gentle, sensual kiss, then let's go for it.  |
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"I've had enough gravel rash and gallons of saliva when they try to stick their tongue down my throat. Find nothing sexy in that! However, if it becomes obvious they have a gentle, sensual kiss, then let's go for it. "
 your "gallons of saliva" comment about sums it up for me. |
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask?
We don’t understand either , sucking a cock seems a tad more intimate than a kiss! But then I’m also dubious about same room only, it’s very convenient to say you enjoy watching , my experience is most men struggle to perform when their parent is watching and most women prefer 100% of the mans attention "
I’ll be honest, I’m a female and I’d struggle to perform if my parent was watching |
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By *oman wantedCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Liverpool/Manchester |
Only rule we have is that only my hubby can fuck my arse. Everything else goes and i love kissing women and watching my hubby kiss other women especially when he's inside her. Just turns me on. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it boils down to this: some couples like to keep something back for themselves, be it anal, kissing or something else.
That's rather lovely isn't it, to have something special between just the two of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are in the don’t kiss brigade, but her kissing another woman is a different thing. Probably we couldn't explain why exactly, it’s just our personal preference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it boils down to this: some couples like to keep something back for themselves, be it anal, kissing or something else.
That's rather lovely isn't it, to have something special between just the two of them."
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"Maybe it boils down to this: some couples like to keep something back for themselves, be it anal, kissing or something else.
That's rather lovely isn't it, to have something special between just the two of them."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask? "
When I was on here with my ex it was simply a case of not wanting to have anyone stick their tongue in my mouth, it felt kinda gross... One to one though is another story |
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"No disrespect intended to couples who do have rules, just wondering if any that do could explain why they don't kiss or have rules in that respect?
That being said we have a rule, our rule as a couple is we want to be in the same room to enjoy the others enjoyment, because that's what we get off on and the whole point (for us) in full swapping, I'm not meaning to be rude and understand it's people's choice and I respect that I'm just curious to know how a couple could say suck/lick and fuck but kissing is too personal? For us kissing is all part of the enjoyment, like I say not meaning to cause offence to anyone just curious to understand .... and hey, where better to ask?
We don’t understand either , sucking a cock seems a tad more intimate than a kiss! But then I’m also dubious about same room only, it’s very convenient to say you enjoy watching , my experience is most men struggle to perform when their parent is watching and most women prefer 100% of the mans attention "
Not sure that I would want my parent watching either....  |
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