FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Dom/Sub dynamics
Dom/Sub dynamics
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ewantu2 OP Couple
over a year ago
shrews |
First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated."
Hi.. it's a highly complex question that you pose. I would suggest that it depends on what both you and your wife want to achieve and how you intend to view the person you involve. As you are no doubt aware the D/s dynamic goes way beyond sex and it is wise to remember that works both ways and that could have an impact on any relationship. My advice would be talk about it honestly and then ask yourself what is it you want from it and get your wife to do the same. And if you do make sure you have agreed boundaries and you stick to them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Very much depends what you're looking for OP - another sub that you meet on your own, one that you and your wife meet together, or some other arrangement?
Communication is the key though, regardless of what the answer to the above is - sit down and talk it through at length, explain to your wife what appeals to you about adding someone, listen to her concerns - see if there are compromise positions that you are both happy with. If you do go ahead, put in place boundaries that are clearly outlined and agreed to.
Don't forget too, if you do introduce someone else that they'll be a part of this too and being open and honest with them and clearly setting expectations and boundaries is just as important.
Be aware too of things like aftercare that may need you to talk to a sub if they need you to at any given time, and be sure your wife is ok with that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewantu2 OP Couple
over a year ago
shrews |
"First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated.
Hi.. it's a highly complex question that you pose. I would suggest that it depends on what both you and your wife want to achieve and how you intend to view the person you involve. As you are no doubt aware the D/s dynamic goes way beyond sex and it is wise to remember that works both ways and that could have an impact on any relationship. My advice would be talk about it honestly and then ask yourself what is it you want from it and get your wife to do the same. And if you do make sure you have agreed boundaries and you stick to them. "
Thanks, we're just in the talking stage at the moment. Must admit it excites me, the thought of another sub, but I wouldn't want to risk my wife's happiness, so not sure where we're going to go with this.
If she says no, that's it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewantu2 OP Couple
over a year ago
shrews |
"Agree with above, it will take all involved to be strong in mind"
Thanks, it's all new to us, the thought of someone else being in our relationship. My wife matters more to me than anything, so will have to see what happens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated.
Hi.. it's a highly complex question that you pose. I would suggest that it depends on what both you and your wife want to achieve and how you intend to view the person you involve. As you are no doubt aware the D/s dynamic goes way beyond sex and it is wise to remember that works both ways and that could have an impact on any relationship. My advice would be talk about it honestly and then ask yourself what is it you want from it and get your wife to do the same. And if you do make sure you have agreed boundaries and you stick to them.
Thanks, we're just in the talking stage at the moment. Must admit it excites me, the thought of another sub, but I wouldn't want to risk my wife's happiness, so not sure where we're going to go with this.
If she says no, that's it"
Everyone is different and no one can tell you what is right or wrong but we learnt the hard way to be very careful when it comes to such things. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewantu2 OP Couple
over a year ago
shrews |
"Very much depends what you're looking for OP - another sub that you meet on your own, one that you and your wife meet together, or some other arrangement?
Communication is the key though, regardless of what the answer to the above is - sit down and talk it through at length, explain to your wife what appeals to you about adding someone, listen to her concerns - see if there are compromise positions that you are both happy with. If you do go ahead, put in place boundaries that are clearly outlined and agreed to.
Don't forget too, if you do introduce someone else that they'll be a part of this too and being open and honest with them and clearly setting expectations and boundaries is just as important.
Be aware too of things like aftercare that may need you to talk to a sub if they need you to at any given time, and be sure your wife is ok with that."
Thanks. We've got some serious thinking to do, as I wouldn't want to involve anyone, and risk hurting them, or losing my wife's love and respect |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewantu2 OP Couple
over a year ago
shrews |
"First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated.
Hi.. it's a highly complex question that you pose. I would suggest that it depends on what both you and your wife want to achieve and how you intend to view the person you involve. As you are no doubt aware the D/s dynamic goes way beyond sex and it is wise to remember that works both ways and that could have an impact on any relationship. My advice would be talk about it honestly and then ask yourself what is it you want from it and get your wife to do the same. And if you do make sure you have agreed boundaries and you stick to them.
Thanks, we're just in the talking stage at the moment. Must admit it excites me, the thought of another sub, but I wouldn't want to risk my wife's happiness, so not sure where we're going to go with this.
If she says no, that's it
Everyone is different and no one can tell you what is right or wrong but we learnt the hard way to be very careful when it comes to such things. "
We need to talk more about this, I think. At the moment it's just talk, looking for advice, and not set in stone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated.
Hi.. it's a highly complex question that you pose. I would suggest that it depends on what both you and your wife want to achieve and how you intend to view the person you involve. As you are no doubt aware the D/s dynamic goes way beyond sex and it is wise to remember that works both ways and that could have an impact on any relationship. My advice would be talk about it honestly and then ask yourself what is it you want from it and get your wife to do the same. And if you do make sure you have agreed boundaries and you stick to them.
Thanks, we're just in the talking stage at the moment. Must admit it excites me, the thought of another sub, but I wouldn't want to risk my wife's happiness, so not sure where we're going to go with this.
If she says no, that's it
Everyone is different and no one can tell you what is right or wrong but we learnt the hard way to be very careful when it comes to such things.
We need to talk more about this, I think. At the moment it's just talk, looking for advice, and not set in stone"
As I said there are no rights and wrongs and we are all different. Good luck to you both and stay safe  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewantu2 OP Couple
over a year ago
shrews |
"First off, I love my wife, we have a profile here, and we have a Dom/Sub relationship. We've been together for 15 years, and have recently discussed the idea of getting another sub.
She's eager, but a bit concerned that it could impact upon our relationship.
I'm not the type of guy to go behind her back, she's aware of everything, and if she doesn't want it, it won't happen, but if anyone has any experience of this, or could give any advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of this, be much appreciated.
Hi.. it's a highly complex question that you pose. I would suggest that it depends on what both you and your wife want to achieve and how you intend to view the person you involve. As you are no doubt aware the D/s dynamic goes way beyond sex and it is wise to remember that works both ways and that could have an impact on any relationship. My advice would be talk about it honestly and then ask yourself what is it you want from it and get your wife to do the same. And if you do make sure you have agreed boundaries and you stick to them.
Thanks, we're just in the talking stage at the moment. Must admit it excites me, the thought of another sub, but I wouldn't want to risk my wife's happiness, so not sure where we're going to go with this.
If she says no, that's it
Everyone is different and no one can tell you what is right or wrong but we learnt the hard way to be very careful when it comes to such things.
We need to talk more about this, I think. At the moment it's just talk, looking for advice, and not set in stone
As I said there are no rights and wrongs and we are all different. Good luck to you both and stay safe "
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
