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Pussy substitute?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either..."
Each to their own but WOW |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either...
Each to their own but WOW"
Interesting lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either..."
 |
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"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell! "
I think the Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy or one of those latex artificial pussy things is about as good as it gets. Lovehoney have a great range, have a look. I don't use anything like this myself, so can't comment on how good any of them are, but if any guys want to give discreet feedback, feel free to message me  |
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"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me
A dead animal? You sick bstard!
O you’ve tasted it too. I know it’s rank but it feels soooooo good "
A slaughtered turkey is probably all you can get (and deserve) |
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"Anything silk (shirt, boxer shorts) under your mattress
How do you feel the silk if it is under your mattress ?"
Under the mattress, but on top of the _ase.
Then slide your old chap in between the two.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So get a balloon. Add jelly. Let it set. There you go a home made pussy if you can get your willy through the hole, maybe add warm custard as lube and for extra sensation...and you can even eat it after |
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"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me
And makes a sandwich for your lunch afterwards!"
That reminds me of the old Wild West joke.
A cowboy walks up to the Indian Chief and one of his Braves. The cowboy pulls out two slices of bread, and wanks off into them.
The Chief smiles and says, "White man cum in piece!".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute
I think you'll find my Ham sandwich is even better  "
Tasty snack once it's served it's purpose too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute
I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol"
Explanation required....  |
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"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute
I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol
Explanation required.... "
Well let me reverse it... say you were confronted with a dick that looked like it had been involved in an accident and thought...Would you still have that over a glass dildo  |
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"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute
I think you'll find my Ham sandwich is even better
Tasty snack once it's served it's purpose too "
With self-supplied mayonnaise? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute
I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol
Explanation required....
Well let me reverse it... say you were confronted with a dick that looked like it had been involved in an accident and thought...Would you still have that over a glass dildo "
Point made. Loud and clear |
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"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute
I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol
Explanation required....
Well let me reverse it... say you were confronted with a dick that looked like it had been involved in an accident and thought...Would you still have that over a glass dildo "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either..."
This made me crack up |
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"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell! "
What’s wrong with the real thing?! |
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"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!
What’s wrong with the real thing?! "
Not always available |
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"Fold it back, move your balls to one side and do your bum...QED
That's going to be my new standard response for when I want to tell someone to go fuck themselves.
A"
Its possibly gonna be the new gauge to replace Sky Remotes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell! "
Have you researched fleshlights, no not flashlights?
I used to have one, it was a pretty good substitute for a man, for a while at least. |
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"Thanks all. I've since discovered that the best substitute is another pussy . . .or 2. Surprising number of offers of help! "
Blimey! Was it this easy? I’ll have to start a similar thread myself...... |
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Failing that, Ann Summers do a cheap Fleshlight knock off
So the sane friend told me.... 
