FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Bad mouthing
Bad mouthing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anybody think it is ok to bad mouth or tell tales on other members on here.
This is in the hope of separating regular play partners so that they may get a meet??
Or is it part of the game??
Discuss... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's what I've had to put up with for weeks now. Even fake accounts and my social media, but never mind, I can't help the behaviour of others, it's a reflection of them, not me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a reflection of the people who do it. I reported someone who did just what you said, they're still on here.
Name and shame isn't permitted, but I think people who behave like that should be banned. Why should your experience be ruined by the jealous and petty actions of others? xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats a shame.
Reporting seems to do nothing. it does.
If the messaging isn't on fab, it's he said she said. "
I've experienced both. reported the one on fab ages ago, they're still on Fab. Had someone even set up a fake account to message me, then delete it before any action could be taken. It's a horrible experience xx |
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Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.
******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).
Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.
Admin
PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.
Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:
--
Your feedback has been saved.
A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.
By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.****** |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong.
Said fake profile is gone now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.
******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).
Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.
Admin
PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.
Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:
--
Your feedback has been saved.
A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.
By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******"
 Maybe they received a warning then, might make them think twice about doing it again. Didn't go the way the person wanted, as the only thing it achieved was being blocked by me, and then forgotten xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong.
Said fake profile is gone now"
That's awful!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is that poor oral sex technique?"
Maybe that's the issue! They're crap so take issue with anyone who is obviously great at what they do, so shit stir as they're too impotent to do anything else, haha xx |
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"Does anybody think it is ok to bad mouth or tell tales on other members on here.
This is in the hope of separating regular play partners so that they may get a meet??
Or is it part of the game??
Discuss..."
The problem with people nowadays in general is that people are just out for themselves. I think it's got worse over the past few years but I have seen people back stab people in order to "steal" play partners or isolate people from groups.
I didn't realise how much politics were involved both on the forums and in local areas for swingers. Everyone is here to have fun so I don't see the need to isolate or bad mouth people and it's a bit childish imo.
The best way you can tackle it is report and explain your reasoning. They may not do anything about it. Don't name and shame - it's against site rules. Block and move on. If someone happens to take away a play partner of yours and they believe that person, chances are they probably aren't worth wasting your time on. There are plenty of other amazing people to meet.
And finally just have fun!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really bad behaviour. And breaking site rules to publicly do it. "
With me it was private messages. Really upsetting though, trying to break us up, and hurting me in the process. I don't think people understand the damage they can do, to the person they're trying to get the attention of. It's infantile and spiteful. Luckily we're stronger than they are, and it hasn't worked xx |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Really bad behaviour. And breaking site rules to publicly do it.
With me it was private messages. Really upsetting though, trying to break us up, and hurting me in the process. I don't think people understand the damage they can do, to the person they're trying to get the attention of. It's infantile and spiteful. Luckily we're stronger than they are, and it hasn't worked xx"
I believe that's called karma. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats a shame.
Reporting seems to do nothing. it does.
If the messaging isn't on fab, it's he said she said.
Precisely why I keep everything on fab and not other apps. "
I haven't spoke to them on other apps though, not deliberately anyway- they've found me on social media, and because I've all men blocked, they've messaged me there instead! It's been awful, the lengths some people go to xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really bad behaviour. And breaking site rules to publicly do it.
With me it was private messages. Really upsetting though, trying to break us up, and hurting me in the process. I don't think people understand the damage they can do, to the person they're trying to get the attention of. It's infantile and spiteful. Luckily we're stronger than they are, and it hasn't worked xx
I believe that's called karma. "
Yep! xx |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Thats a shame.
Reporting seems to do nothing. it does.
If the messaging isn't on fab, it's he said she said.
Precisely why I keep everything on fab and not other apps.
I haven't spoke to them on other apps though, not deliberately anyway- they've found me on social media, and because I've all men blocked, they've messaged me there instead! It's been awful, the lengths some people go to xx"
That's called harassment. And it's also an offence. If you are concerned, have a chat with police. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats a shame.
Reporting seems to do nothing. it does.
If the messaging isn't on fab, it's he said she said.
Precisely why I keep everything on fab and not other apps.
I haven't spoke to them on other apps though, not deliberately anyway- they've found me on social media, and because I've all men blocked, they've messaged me there instead! It's been awful, the lengths some people go to xx
That's called harassment. And it's also an offence. If you are concerned, have a chat with police. "
It’s been different guys, so I’m not sure the police would class it as harassment, as it’s not one man doing it. Been dealing with crap like this for about a year and a half, but recently it’s been worse. I can handle it, they won’t win.
It’s just a shame that people think it’s ok to try and split people up because of their own selfish desires. Speaks volumes about them- arrogant and malicious- why would anyone ever leave someone they care about for that! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thankfully the opinion of others doesn't phase me unless it's those who are close. I can't fault people for trying. Aslong as it isn't really malicious like towards my family or anything then I'm not phased. No need to report, just ignore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anybody think it is ok to bad mouth or tell tales on other members on here.
This is in the hope of separating regular play partners so that they may get a meet??
Or is it part of the game??
Discuss..."
its more common than you would think, the green eyed monster    |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Does anybody think it is ok to bad mouth or tell tales on other members on here.
This is in the hope of separating regular play partners so that they may get a meet??
Or is it part of the game??
Discuss...its more common than you would think, the green eyed monster "
I have noticed that there are politics... I’ve not experienced bad mouthing yet (to my knowledge) but there are definitely territorial politics, lol...
Reason why I’ve decided not to display my verifications any more... |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong.
Said fake profile is gone now
That's awful!! xx"
Yes it was awful this profile accused this couple of all sorts and giving them an STD. The profile was reported and shut dow within hours.
It really upset the couple mind as it would!! We met with them a couple weeks ago again and they hadn't met for months because of it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anybody think it is ok to bad mouth or tell tales on other members on here.
This is in the hope of separating regular play partners so that they may get a meet??
Or is it part of the game??
Discuss...its more common than you would think, the green eyed monster
I have noticed that there are politics... I’ve not experienced bad mouthing yet (to my knowledge) but there are definitely territorial politics, lol...
Reason why I’ve decided not to display my verifications any more... "
sensible, I'm not a fan of them anyways for that reason, they amount to bragging mostly and nobody enjoys a show off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong.
Said fake profile is gone now"
Well shame on those who won't converse with you!
Rise above it. At the end of the day, would you really talk to them or sleep with them, after their immature behaviour!
Thought members had to be over 18 on this site. Maybe in body but definitely not in mind!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong
Said fake profile is gone now
That's awful!! xx
Yes it was awful this profile accused this couple of all sorts and giving them an STD. The profile was reported and shut dow within hours.
It really upset the couple mind as it would!! We met with them a couple weeks ago again and they hadn't met for months because of it!! "
I can imagine, that’s so horrible  I’m glad they were strong and hope that they can now get back to what this site is meant to be about.
I don’t get the mindset at all. Trying to ruin someone for your own selfish gratification. To deliberately target someone and try to destroy their relationship/reputation is appalling! xx |
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It happens. And It happens a lot. I spent much of the 2nd half of Last year with someone who decided to make up all sorts. I lost people I saw as friends due to how it was done. I had people call me stuff at clubs and all sorts. But I just kept my head up and now it seems the truth is all coming out and I've had several very public apologies.
People will always do this about someone x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It happens. And It happens a lot. I spent much of the 2nd half of Last year with someone who decided to make up all sorts. I lost people I saw as friends due to how it was done. I had people call me stuff at clubs and all sorts. But I just kept my head up and now it seems the truth is all coming out and I've had several very public apologies.
People will always do this about someone x "
Glad that things are better for you now, and that people have acknowledged what was done to you and apologised.
They will, that’s true xx |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong
Said fake profile is gone now
That's awful!! xx
Yes it was awful this profile accused this couple of all sorts and giving them an STD. The profile was reported and shut dow within hours.
It really upset the couple mind as it would!! We met with them a couple weeks ago again and they hadn't met for months because of it!!
I can imagine, that’s so horrible I’m glad they were strong and hope that they can now get back to what this site is meant to be about.
I don’t get the mindset at all. Trying to ruin someone for your own selfish gratification. To deliberately target someone and try to destroy their relationship/reputation is appalling! xx"
It was to do with a couple they played with who caused drama. It really did affect them for a while. Even when we met them the other day they admitted they felt nervous and they know us. Dont get why people have to do it.
We had other friends of us message when they saw we got a veri and went into the story. We had to explain that it was all complete lies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is that poor oral sex technique?
Maybe that's the issue! They're crap so take issue with anyone who is obviously great at what they do, so shit stir as they're too impotent to do anything else, haha xx"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong
Said fake profile is gone now
That's awful!! xx
Yes it was awful this profile accused this couple of all sorts and giving them an STD. The profile was reported and shut dow within hours.
It really upset the couple mind as it would!! We met with them a couple weeks ago again and they hadn't met for months because of it!!
I can imagine, that’s so horrible I’m glad they were strong and hope that they can now get back to what this site is meant to be about.
I don’t get the mindset at all. Trying to ruin someone for your own selfish gratification. To deliberately target someone and try to destroy their relationship/reputation is appalling! xx
It was to do with a couple they played with who caused drama. It really did affect them for a while. Even when we met them the other day they admitted they felt nervous and they know us. Dont get why people have to do it.
We had other friends of us message when they saw we got a veri and went into the story. We had to explain that it was all complete lies"
Awful! Bless them. Veri’s can cause so much trouble, but can also open up conversation- like for you guys so that you could put people right about your friends. Swings and roundabouts.
Hope they can put it behind them now xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong.
Can you hide that verification?
Said fake profile is gone now"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong
Said fake profile is gone now
That's awful!! xx
Yes it was awful this profile accused this couple of all sorts and giving them an STD. The profile was reported and shut dow within hours.
It really upset the couple mind as it would!! We met with them a couple weeks ago again and they hadn't met for months because of it!!
I can imagine, that’s so horrible I’m glad they were strong and hope that they can now get back to what this site is meant to be about.
I don’t get the mindset at all. Trying to ruin someone for your own selfish gratification. To deliberately target someone and try to destroy their relationship/reputation is appalling! xx
It was to do with a couple they played with who caused drama. It really did affect them for a while. Even when we met them the other day they admitted they felt nervous and they know us. Dont get why people have to do it.
We had other friends of us message when they saw we got a veri and went into the story. We had to explain that it was all complete lies
Awful! Bless them. Veri’s can cause so much trouble, but can also open up conversation- like for you guys so that you could put people right about your friends. Swings and roundabouts.
Hope they can put it behind them now xx"
You seem lovely and very grounded. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Weve seen it happen on a profile with a local couple we know well. Long complicated story but this profile was fake and lying!
Now lots of people wont chat to us because we are verified by said couple who have done nothing wrong
Said fake profile is gone now
That's awful!! xx
Yes it was awful this profile accused this couple of all sorts and giving them an STD. The profile was reported and shut dow within hours.
It really upset the couple mind as it would!! We met with them a couple weeks ago again and they hadn't met for months because of it!!
I can imagine, that’s so horrible I’m glad they were strong and hope that they can now get back to what this site is meant to be about.
I don’t get the mindset at all. Trying to ruin someone for your own selfish gratification. To deliberately target someone and try to destroy their relationship/reputation is appalling! xx
It was to do with a couple they played with who caused drama. It really did affect them for a while. Even when we met them the other day they admitted they felt nervous and they know us. Dont get why people have to do it.
We had other friends of us message when they saw we got a veri and went into the story. We had to explain that it was all complete lies
Awful! Bless them. Veri’s can cause so much trouble, but can also open up conversation- like for you guys so that you could put people right about your friends. Swings and roundabouts.
Hope they can put it behind them now xx
You seem lovely and very grounded. X"
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A certain single woman was telling my veris that I was a slag and that one of my other veris was slagging me off behind my back. When I put a status on hunting at who she was lots of women messaged me to say she had done the same to them. It turns out if she is talking to one of your veris she doesnt like it wants them herself so causes trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A certain single woman was telling my veris that I was a slag and that one of my other veris was slagging me off behind my back. When I put a status on hunting at who she was lots of women messaged me to say she had done the same to them. It turns out if she is talking to one of your veris she doesnt like it wants them herself so causes trouble. "
That’s just infantile! Hope that you weren’t too upset by it all, and you’ve been able to put it behind you. It’s a horrible experience xx |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I don’t think there’s ever valid reason to talk about other people negatively , here or anywhere , been drawn in once or twice and regret it. If I hear others I know doing it I tell them to stop.
Gossiping is bad enough but what the OP said is different, what kind of person would want to meet someone who does that ? A similar kind of person would |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't listen to gossip. I'm an adult and go off face values but always good to know about meets that went bad or who are aggressive."
Surely that's just gossip too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could yes but I take my safety very seriously. So I would not go on a meet if someone I know from the club scene told me about a nasty horrible meet they had with an aggressive man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You could yes but I take my safety very seriously. So I would not go on a meet if someone I know from the club scene told me about a nasty horrible meet they had with an aggressive man."
So you're selective about the gossip you listen to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think there’s ever valid reason to talk about other people negatively , here or anywhere , been drawn in once or twice and regret it. If I hear others I know doing it I tell them to stop.
Gossiping is bad enough but what the OP said is different, what kind of person would want to meet someone who does that ? A similar kind of person would "
A few have tried that with me. Cause trouble in the hopes of me meeting, but won’t happen! They need to find someone more suited to them, as you say, there are people who would be ok with that type of thing xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't listen to gossip. I'm an adult and go off face values but always good to know about meets that went bad or who are aggressive.
Surely that's just gossip too?"
|
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"I don't listen to gossip. I'm an adult and go off face values but always good to know about meets that went bad or who are aggressive.
Surely that's just gossip too?"
Gossip is what someone else said from someone else.
If say you said to a friend you met a guy and he hurt you and you tell them best to avoid that isn't gossip. When it comes from your experience not someone else's it your facts not gossip which more often than not is Chinese whispers due to the fact people twist stories to their own benefit or misconstrued information. |
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think its ok to name and shame to be fair after all we are informing everyone else to be "aware" of somebody ! nothing wrong with giving people the "heads up " that way people can decide for them selves whether to meet up with him/them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lady here doesn't like me. I've met people who've been fed lies about my personality then told me I'm not as she says
It will always go in. You won't stop it. Just hope people are grown up enough to find out themselves. |
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"I don’t think there’s ever valid reason to talk about other people negatively , here or anywhere , been drawn in once or twice and regret it. If I hear others I know doing it I tell them to stop.
"
Very true although it's very difficult to tell someone to stop,I ended a friendship with a woman in 2017 due to her toxic mouth,then I ended up being one of the people she is bad mouthing still to this day
Woman with grudges don't see what harm their doing to their own reputation,true colours do come out in the end |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I don’t think there’s ever valid reason to talk about other people negatively , here or anywhere , been drawn in once or twice and regret it. If I hear others I know doing it I tell them to stop.
Very true although it's very difficult to tell someone to stop,I ended a friendship with a woman in 2017 due to her toxic mouth,then I ended up being one of the people she is bad mouthing still to this day
Woman with grudges don't see what harm their doing to their own reputation,true colours do come out in the end"
It can be difficult yes, most things that take a bit of courage are ! But you did the right thing you dint want toxic people around you , they will make you sick too !! |
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"I don’t think there’s ever valid reason to talk about other people negatively , here or anywhere , been drawn in once or twice and regret it. If I hear others I know doing it I tell them to stop.
Very true although it's very difficult to tell someone to stop,I ended a friendship with a woman in 2017 due to her toxic mouth,then I ended up being one of the people she is bad mouthing still to this day
Woman with grudges don't see what harm their doing to their own reputation,true colours do come out in the end
It can be difficult yes, most things that take a bit of courage are ! But you did the right thing you dint want toxic people around you , they will make you sick too !! "
Exactly,I don't have any regrets,I definitely did the right thing.
No chance of that happening or you become just like them |
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In our time on Fab we’ve know of a single man who liked hurting women (who was arrested for it) and a couple who were meeting single men and couples, and using excuses as to why she couldn’t use condoms, as they wanted a baby and he couldn’t.
If you had information, which you knew to be factual, and you saw one of your friends post a verification they’d just had a social with one of these people and they were looking forward to a meet, wouldn’t you give them a heads up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anybody think it is ok to bad mouth or tell tales on other members on here.
This is in the hope of separating regular play partners so that they may get a meet??
Or is it part of the game??
Discuss...its more common than you would think, the green eyed monster
I have noticed that there are politics... I’ve not experienced bad mouthing yet (to my knowledge) but there are definitely territorial politics, lol...
Reason why I’ve decided not to display my verifications any more... "
Best idea x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The thing is people always got to remember on this website there are some people that will tell the truth there are some people that will lie why there is some people on here that will pretend that they're older and some people will pretend that they're younger there is a lot of people on here that will bad-mouth each other just to get their own way you just got to be the bigger person. So many people on this website don't like me.. because I literally say what is on my mind maybe that's not the best way to look at things but that's just the way I am you either love me or you hate me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is people always got to remember on this website there are some people that will tell the truth there are some people that will lie why there is some people on here that will pretend that they're older and some people will pretend that they're younger there is a lot of people on here that will bad-mouth each other just to get their own way you just got to be the bigger person. So many people on this website don't like me.. because I literally say what is on my mind maybe that's not the best way to look at things but that's just the way I am you either love me or you hate me "
This post was like a poem ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You could yes but I take my safety very seriously. So I would not go on a meet if someone I know from the club scene told me about a nasty horrible meet they had with an aggressive man.
So you're selective about the gossip you listen to"
If it involves my safety yes!!! I have children I need to come home to. |
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