FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Tips for women on Fab
Tips for women on Fab
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ladies, gentleman,
Navigating Fab can be really tricky and overwhelming for ladies. How about a thread of advice on how to go about messaging and what red flags to look out for?
Mine would be:
- There's the swingers and the fuckers. The latter are after quick meets and gratification. You can usually tell from their language. "We need to meet up" rather than "do you fancy meeting up?" even if you like quick meet and fuck, watch out for pushy language.
- If someone you're talking to get's annoyed when you get new verifications, remember it's a swinging site for liberated lovin' - you don't owe them an explanation of your sex life.
- No one should be making you feel guilty for not replying to messages or not wanting to chat. And if someone doesn't get the message don't feel bad about hitting the block button.
- There are the usual suspects who try and alpha new ladies really early on. Take some time to get to know people. If they don't want to chat, then there's usually something up (in my opinion).
I didn't set this thread up as a gripe. I'd really love to see positive, practical advice for ladies. What would you suggest?
C x x
x x x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The block button is your friend and you can use it for whatever reason you want without owing anyone an explanation.
This is meant to be fun and when it stops being fun step back and work out why.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The block button is your friend and you can use it for whatever reason you want without owing anyone an explanation.
This is meant to be fun and when it stops being fun step back and work out why.
"
This.
And I'm not even a woman.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
If a Swinger can say something?
1. Hide your profile when you want to reduce the flow of messages and interests.
2. Be selective with verifications whether to publish them and create links to other persons. Some people apparently follow the links and bad mouth you to them....
3. Do put a use this word in the message title at the end to see if someone has read your whole profile.
Good luck and enjoy. We Swingers appreciate the Ladies here. However we are lost in between the Fuckers. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Set your filters and be proactive x"
Yes!
Also
don't engage with people who send you abuse report and block immediately
Never put yourself in a situation where you are dependent on a meet to get home, are over the drink drive limit or have no money on you.
Think before you do anything "if a loved one told me they were going to do this would I think it was a good idea?"
The above applies to everyone, not just women. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I agree with points 1 and but not 3.
It's easy enough to scan for a "buzz word" and it will be the message itself that shows whether or not they have read the profile.
Actually, my advice for single ladies looking for men, would be to batten down the hatches and search for yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
https://www.fabswingers.com/my/getstarted
Read tips and getting started.
never get into a car with a man you don't know.
Never go to a mans house or give him your address if you don't know him.
Never agree to have sex if you don't want to.
All seem obvious but I've read some dreadfully naïve attitudes in these for a over the years |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Make it work for you. If the endless stream of idiot messages get to you, block men and go find profiles you like. If they’re super hot but dick you around, leave them to it. There’ll be plenty of hot guys who are willing to treat you decently. No one needs to engage in mind games on fab. Messaging is tedious. Get out and meet people in real life, build your networks, you don’t have to be a ‘lifestyle swinger’ to go to the occasional event, and make friends with other women. They tip you off to the idiots, watch your back and it’s nice to have like minded friends, even if, sadly, they are straight. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
"I agree with points 1 and but not 3.
It's easy enough to scan for a "buzz word" and it will be the message itself that shows whether or not they have read the profile.
Actually, my advice for single ladies looking for men, would be to batten down the hatches and search for yourself. "
Very fair comment on 3.
Cannot fault the above. Find for yourself. I have been found and it had been great till she in love and left Fab to him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And never, ever, meet anyone who tries to persuade you out of taking your normal precautions. Even if they don’t want to hurt you, the lack of appreciation of your needs implies their approach to sex will be similar. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a fair few single female friends on here.
They set their filters to what they're are looking for and a good thing they do is block single guys when not on line or hide their profiles. To cut down on the amount of unwanted traffic. I hear them say all the time it's frustrating as there might have been a potential meet in the hundreds of messages they receive.
Great subject OP I'm sure it will be a popular thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Great thread thank you
Don’t be afraid to say no set boundaries early on if they don’t like them tough and move on to the next
There are some some lovely people on here who can become good friends you just need to find them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"And never, ever, meet anyone who tries to persuade you out of taking your normal precautions. Even if they don’t want to hurt you, the lack of appreciation of your needs implies their approach to sex will be similar."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have met men alone before but have always done that via our couples profile which seemed to give me a lot more control. I don’t envy single women profile looking for a one on one meet.. the messages are very very odd at times! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything
Love this post."
I'm a firm believer in just saying no. The minute you try to explain why not, it gives people a way in to try and change your mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything
Love this post.
I'm a firm believer in just saying no. The minute you try to explain why not, it gives people a way in to try and change your mind. "
I say no because I say no. If pushed, then my no becomes never because quite clearly my correspondent doesn't understand consent. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything
Love this post.
I'm a firm believer in just saying no. The minute you try to explain why not, it gives people a way in to try and change your mind.
I say no because I say no. If pushed, then my no becomes never because quite clearly my correspondent doesn't understand consent."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches 
Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse 
No means no
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Find what works for you. There is no perfect answer, or one size fits all.
You're allowed to think that some of your experience here sucks, because it can and it does!
If anyone tells you that you should be grateful or tries to dictate how you run your Fab profile, ignore them or tell them you've got it handled. If they persist, block them. It's your profile, and you can do what you like.
And no, it's not your fault that some people (#notallmen #notallcouples #notallTVs #notallpeople #haveIcoveredthewhiningyet) are horrible and try to make your experience horrible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches
Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse
No means no
"
Smart this
Each of us here has there own ways and it's great to see some shared as for example I wouldn't think if this.
I'm new here and appreciate advice given on posts like this and past ones in forum history but use them also not only to identify a problem but try to find a solution (a lot of issues are ongoing and that's the worst part).
What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.
Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches
Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse
No means no
Smart this
Each of us here has there own ways and it's great to see some shared as for example I wouldn't think if this.
I'm new here and appreciate advice given on posts like this and past ones in forum history but use them also not only to identify a problem but try to find a solution (a lot of issues are ongoing and that's the worst part).
What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.
Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?
"
You are of course welcome to express your opinion, but those of us who've been around a long time have tried many things, more than likely what you've suggested.
It does occasionally get tiring to be told, oh, just do x and stop whinging. Yes, tried x, more than once, didn't work because y, and it's still not my fault that people treat me like abc in ways that are unacceptable. (Which is so often how these things go. I'm not saying you) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Make sure you have a safety person and that you check in
Sometimes that also involves taking photos of where you are /the person /car etc...
Applies to everyone, regardless of gender |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches
Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse
No means no
Smart this
Each of us here has there own ways and it's great to see some shared as for example I wouldn't think if this.
I'm new here and appreciate advice given on posts like this and past ones in forum history but use them also not only to identify a problem but try to find a solution (a lot of issues are ongoing and that's the worst part).
What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.
Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?
You are of course welcome to express your opinion, but those of us who've been around a long time have tried many things, more than likely what you've suggested.
It does occasionally get tiring to be told, oh, just do x and stop whinging. Yes, tried x, more than once, didn't work because y, and it's still not my fault that people treat me like abc in ways that are unacceptable. (Which is so often how these things go. I'm not saying you)"
It's those like you who are here a long time I see giving up in some cases and leaving , why should people who help create this place feel bullied on their own playground.?
Not here to tell anyone what to do , far from it.
Understand the frustration of some of you to keep repeating the same even when someone asks the right questions.
Tbh I feel like that too when I see similar and think " there is a search button on the forum" use it , ffs you can use Google you can use that too
I have decided to play this game and respect the rules.
Will express my opinion when ready to challenge the rules I don't agree with .
I'm still at a learning and information collecting stage.
Have spend about two weeks just reading , still think it's not enough .
Not talking about challenging users on here.
Getting braver to post , jump in on the fun posts ,UK and Irish , met some nice people.
Plenty of nice and naughty people here
Miracle happened and got a message from a lady that I didn't even contact first.
Also got my first dick that I didn't ask for in the inbox .
Not hard to understand how some feel getting this 50x a day .
What people upload to the public profile folder it's their own choice , not for me discuss but as a user visiting a profile do I really have a choice what I want to see?
No , it's a surprise what you will find in there , unnecessary surprise easily fixed by people who run the site.
Pic folders could be split , one for "decent" pictures and one for anything else .
Each pic uploaded is verified and categorised by moderators .
Block "decent" folder with a filter not allowing upload of dick pics for example .
That's just an idea on how admins could improve it Vs what it is now.
Dick inboxing to someone could be stopped too as is the somewhat faulty verification process when registering a new profile.
That's for separate threads of my own when ready .
Sorry OP if you consider my post against the "Don't hijack threads " rule .
Not intended and next one's will be my own .
Just wanted to clarify and give an idea what I mean about fab improvement.
Fabbers don't fight , unite . 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"
I'm new here and appreciate advice given on posts like this and past ones in forum history but use them also not only to identify a problem but try to find a solution (a lot of issues are ongoing and that's the worst part).
What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.
Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?
I'm still at a learning and information collecting stage.
Have spend about two weeks just reading , still think it's not enough .
Not talking about challenging users on here.
What people upload to the public profile folder it's their own choice , not for me discuss but as a user visiting a profile do I really have a choice what I want to see?
No , it's a surprise what you will find in there , unnecessary surprise easily fixed by people who run the site.
Pic folders could be split , one for "decent" pictures and one for anything else .
Each pic uploaded is verified and categorised by moderators .
Block "decent" folder with a filter not allowing upload of dick pics for example .
That's just an idea on how admins could improve it Vs what it is now.
"
The problem with this idea, is this is what you want. It's your idea of " decent".
Some people want to see dick pics in profiles. The profile is a showcase of what the person is all about. Perhaps the lad who has a profile photo of them parking about with a cap on sideways, another with a messy background and toilet next to them and 6 dick pics is ideal. It shows some ladies , that this person is not who they are looking for.
If you look at somebodies profile pics and you are not keen, you block them , or right a little note in the Private Note category and move along to the next one.
I often give advice on how to improve profiles, but we don't want them regulated , so that everyone's is standardised. As things stand , it's another useful filter . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I'm new here and appreciate advice given on posts like this and past ones in forum history but use them also not only to identify a problem but try to find a solution (a lot of issues are ongoing and that's the worst part).
What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.
Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?
I'm still at a learning and information collecting stage.
Have spend about two weeks just reading , still think it's not enough .
Not talking about challenging users on here.
What people upload to the public profile folder it's their own choice , not for me discuss but as a user visiting a profile do I really have a choice what I want to see?
No , it's a surprise what you will find in there , unnecessary surprise easily fixed by people who run the site.
Pic folders could be split , one for "decent" pictures and one for anything else .
Each pic uploaded is verified and categorised by moderators .
Block "decent" folder with a filter not allowing upload of dick pics for example .
That's just an idea on how admins could improve it Vs what it is now.
The problem with this idea, is this is what you want. It's your idea of " decent".
Some people want to see dick pics in profiles. The profile is a showcase of what the person is all about. Perhaps the lad who has a profile photo of them parking about with a cap on sideways, another with a messy background and toilet next to them and 6 dick pics is ideal. It shows some ladies , that this person is not who they are looking for.
If you look at somebodies profile pics and you are not keen, you block them , or right a little note in the Private Note category and move along to the next one.
I often give advice on how to improve profiles, but we don't want them regulated , so that everyone's is standardised. As things stand , it's another useful filter . "
1. Maybe a bad choice of words with the "decent".
I understand it can mean two different or more things for different people.
Easily replaced with the exact wording used in categories each of us needs to pick when uploading a photo for verification , folders could be named the same so as a user on the other end you know what type of content you are about to open.
That's a choice we don't have now and that was the core message in my idea about improving folders .
2.
Profile picture I don't believe I have mentioned , only public pic folders.
Have absolutely no intention of this to be limited or regulated in any way , very much against limits and regulations actually.
Profile can be called for example "superdick" and contain only dicks,but in a correct folder , some people look for a certain type of dick to fullfil a fantasy or just because they like it or for any other reason I don't even need to know .
Not agruing that and no intention of taking away that option or choice.
And most importantly it's not about ME or what I want but giving all option to use tools provided and making their own choices.
Some tools we have , some could be improved , some new ones implemented .
As it stands , what's in public folder is a surprise .
And that's it.
Messaging system could use few more filters too.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Grate thread ive had a fabber when was pushy pushy charm offensive and fell for some of the crap im new 9 weeks and yet had 3 exquisite meets who now i remain friends with out pressure of sex but can have if the situation should come about its about safe fun at the end of the day its not dating but consensual between 2 adults thanks for thread useful tips |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
