FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I really thought you were interested
I really thought you were interested
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had it very recently on the couple's profile I have with my partner. A couple messaged us, quite long-winded message, to which we replied along the lines that we'd be happy to chat and see how we got on. But as we turned down their request to exchange email addresses (so, supposedly, they could send us some pics), we found ourselves blocked. Never mind. |
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We spend 6 months of the winter in Fuerteventura and the majority of people (couples and singles), who announce they are coming here for a 'sexy holiday' actually disappear on arrival. The forums are full of people who say things like' Oh no, we're going to miss you by two days' as if it's a relief!......It probably is as the wife knows nothing about it anyway!  |
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"We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol. "
A mixture of fantasists, attention seekers and secretly in a relationship.
I think some people just need their ego stroked and want to know they are still attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex).
I also think some people get enjoyment out of being a timewaster.
That is why I spend ages getting to know people before meeting. If you spend time getting to know people online you can get rid off
Fantasists
Idiots
Timewasters
Guys who don't respect you
Guys looking for another notch on the bedpost
Guys looking for a quick one-off fuck
Psychos
Etc.
If I was a woman on here I would make guys spend a long time getting to know me first before I thought about meeting them. By long time I mean weeks and even months. |
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"I've had it very recently on the couple's profile I have with my partner. A couple messaged us, quite long-winded message, to which we replied along the lines that we'd be happy to chat and see how we got on. But as we turned down their request to exchange email addresses (so, supposedly, they could send us some pics), we found ourselves blocked. Never mind. "
Lol, I once got an abusive email and blocked because I wasn't prepared to drive for 5 hours for a social meet with a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol.
A mixture of fantasists, attention seekers and secretly in a relationship.
I think some people just need their ego stroked and want to know they are still attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex).
I also think some people get enjoyment out of being a timewaster.
That is why I spend ages getting to know people before meeting. If you spend time getting to know people online you can get rid off
Fantasists
Idiots
Timewasters
Guys who don't respect you
Guys looking for another notch on the bedpost
Guys looking for a quick one-off fuck
Psychos
Etc.
If I was a woman on here I would make guys spend a long time getting to know me first before I thought about meeting them. By long time I mean weeks and even months. "
I’d be bored if I had to chat to someone for weeks or months before meeting them. They would be friend zoned pretty quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" If I was a woman on here I would make guys spend a long time getting to know me first before I thought about meeting them. By long time I mean weeks and even months. "
I work on quite the opposite basis actually. Experience has shown me that spending weeks/months chatting online and via kik or whatsapp is almost more than likely going to lead to nothing - the "chatters" are the guys who have no intention of ever meeting and are just looking for some wank chat (usually behind the wife's back). I have found it better to just cut the crap and meet for a coffee or drink, often the same day as I start talking to someone if they capture my interest.
Or even better, just meet people in person at clubs or organised socials - at least everyone there turned up and you can check them out in real life! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is rather confusing why people do this. The whole point is to get to know someone, and, if you get on well enough, meet up and mutually have fun. Right? |
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Fab is riddled with fantasists, as are all sites. This is why we have always attended clubs and parties for meets and not spent hours online. If you go to a party, everyone there has an intention to play at the very least. You can see people as they really are, not in pics that are 10 years old and you can tell if there's an attraction straight away.
The internet certainly has it's advantages but I now think that the scene is going full circle and due to the amount of let downs online, people are going back to the old way of not chatting for hours online and just heading to a party. |
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It's the nature of Fab. Everyone is chatting to multiple people and making plans, but I think we all have to admit that there is a 'pecking order' in those we chat with... There is always someone who grabs our attention a bit more than anyone else, and who we focus on more, and sometimes if the stars align and all goes well with that person, everyone else fades a little into the background, no matter how sexy they are. I've been on both sides of this. I've been the one who gets distracted and also been the one who suddenly found themselves wondering why someone seems to suddenly have lost interest... If it's any help OP, these things are often fleeting, and once the initial 'excitement' of someone new paying attention passes, things get back on track   |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"It is rather confusing why people do this. The whole point is to get to know someone, and, if you get on well enough, meet up and mutually have fun. Right?"
Of course, but people can and do change their minds for all kinds of reasons. They really should take the time to tell someone if that's the case though. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol. "
People are just shit to each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought I was doing something wrong. Keeps happening to me. Why do people do it! So annoying. On that note, if anyone is genuine. Send me a message lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My biggest problem is that what you read on profiles.Anyone mailing with a one word or no photos will be blocked.
Then that person sends me a Hi or even worse a ? .
I mean how do you answer a ?.
Or when a cpl message me they don't say who is mailing the male or female ?.
Oh the funny ones that think giving you someone's else's phone number or house address.
I once turned up at some ladies house to find out that her ex boyfriend was giving everyone her address.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile is arsey for this reason and others. I still put not meeting and i still get grief.
Guess all genders are getting this.
These folk are obviously not nice in real life.
Oh well.. Its fab. (sometimes) |
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It's not just on Fab. The world is full of flakes. It's happened during much of my adult life.
If we say we're going to meet then we damn well get to where we're supposed to be and in good time. If there happens to be something delaying or physically preventing us then we will maintain contact and say exactly what's going on and be apologetic about it.
Some people don't give a damn if they let people down. That's not how we are. |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
I wouldn't say it's exclusive to fab. Happens a lot in the real world too.
People are flakey, and see new connections as dispensible... Just count yourself lucky I suppose and add it to your experience.
People come and people go  between the , there's a few of us decent folk |
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"We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol. "
How long do you message for?
I like to get a coffee planned in fairly quickly; I find it helps to meet them early on and then see if the conversation runs
Even if we can't immediately sort out a second meet; I know I want to invest in that person having actually met that person.
(Also helps you really see who they are; so you don't connect to an online persona that isn't really what they are) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
I had exactly the same thing. We had been chatting all week and had agreed to meet for lunch in a nice pub the next day. We were supposed to be meeting at 1pm. When he hadn’t messaged me by 9 am I knew it - that same sinking feeling quickly replaced by the ‘I’m so stupid’s. He had left fab and blocked me on WhatsApp. Found him on LinkIn though...and then I saw he had looked at my profile. I can email him if I want but he’s just
Not worth any more of my precious time. His loss!
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" If I was a woman on here I would make guys spend a long time getting to know me first before I thought about meeting them. By long time I mean weeks and even months.
I work on quite the opposite basis actually. Experience has shown me that spending weeks/months chatting online and via kik or whatsapp is almost more than likely going to lead to nothing - the "chatters" are the guys who have no intention of ever meeting and are just looking for some wank chat (usually behind the wife's back). I have found it better to just cut the crap and meet for a coffee or drink, often the same day as I start talking to someone if they capture my interest.
Or even better, just meet people in person at clubs or organised socials - at least everyone there turned up and you can check them out in real life!"
100% agree with this from my own experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get This so often! I take time to look at peoples profiles to gauge the situation... if I can’t meet them right there and then I don’t get any more replies... I don’t come on here to hook up! I can do that in real life.... people abuse the site far too much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens to me at least once per week. I don't get so involved now, keep my distance and don't get my hopes up. All sex chat is strictly off the table so that they don't even have a chance to ask for nudes/cyber play, and if they do I write them off as just another horny fuckboy. If it takes more than a few days to meet they're likely a fantasist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it takes more than a few days to meet they're likely a fantasist. "
Or maybe they're actually quite decent and not just thirsty for getting their dick wet |
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The number of times we have travelled for meets or socials only to be let down after arriving is amazing, ppl msging for a while desperate to meet and then when we finally arrange something and the day arrives....no show
Car accident
Cat died
Great aunt died
Got lost
Anniversary of passing of gerbil
Football gone to extra time
Arrested
U name it we've heard it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We messaged, swapped face pictures, swapped phone numbers, talked about potential meet dates. Next thing ghosted. Messages deleted all comms ceased.
Why do people do it? Both genders are guilty of this. Is this what fab has become? Fantasists and attention seekers?
All you nice folk out there please keep being nice. Ive met nice people on here but the nice to numpty ratio is unbalanced. Lol. "
I’m sorry you got let down. That’s never nice to hear.
Sure you’ll meet someone decent soon enough. Keep your chin up xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it takes more than a few days to meet they're likely a fantasist.
Or maybe they're actually quite decent and not just thirsty for getting their dick wet"
I didn't say the meet had to be sexual. This is from personal experience. The ones who talk for ages are more likely to end up cancelling or ghosting. Quicker meet = less time to overthink/lose their bottle. |
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"If it takes more than a few days to meet they're likely a fantasist.
Or maybe they're actually quite decent and not just thirsty for getting their dick wet
I didn't say the meet had to be sexual. This is from personal experience. The ones who talk for ages are more likely to end up cancelling or ghosting. Quicker meet = less time to overthink/lose their bottle. "
Agree i spent ages chatting etc ,pic swaps ,and it was all in vain ,now its a quick chat ,video chat then social ,life is way to short for crap .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The number of times we have travelled for meets or socials only to be let down after arriving is amazing, ppl msging for a while desperate to meet and then when we finally arrange something and the day arrives....no show
Car accident
Cat died
Great aunt died
Got lost
Anniversary of passing of gerbil
Football gone to extra time
Arrested
U name it we've heard it "
But that was one amazing gerbil... |
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