FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Chasing Verifications After Meets
Chasing Verifications After Meets
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
So I’m relatively new to the swinging scene as a single guy. But recently I met a couple for my first Fab encounter. It was great and I think we were all happy!
But they won’t seem to write me a verification... as it was my first meet I can’t verify them yet. Slightly annoying as this site depends on verifications (quite rightly). Most people want a verified member before they agree to meet.
Shall I just let it go? |
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"So I’m relatively new to the swinging scene as a single guy. But recently I met a couple for my first Fab encounter. It was great and I think we were all happy!
But they won’t seem to write me a verification... as it was my first meet I can’t verify them yet. Slightly annoying as this site depends on verifications (quite rightly). Most people want a verified member before they agree to meet.
Shall I just let it go?"
The site does not really ‘depend’ on verifications.... plus there are fake verifications on here too..... |
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"I’ve asked a couple of times in messages - very politely of course. But with no response or verification... (they’ve read the messages)"
I would move on then. If they've read the message and not responded then there's your answer x |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"We would always leave a veri after any kind of meet, thats the polite thing to do  "
Same here and think it’s a bit naughty of them not to verify especially knowing how difficult it is for somebody new to meet people with no verifications, think they will be on Santa’s naughty list |
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
"We would always leave a veri after any kind of meet, thats the polite thing to do
Same here and think it’s a bit naughty of them not to verify especially knowing how difficult it is for somebody new to meet people with no verifications, think they will be on Santa’s naughty list "
Definitely hope they’re on the naughty list!!! But aren’t we all...?!  |
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"I’ve asked a couple of times in messages - very politely of course. But with no response or verification... (they’ve read the messages)
I would move on then. If they've read the message and not responded then there's your answer x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They may just be busy...that's all. If you've asked twice and they haven't replied, it may well be that they haven't had chance yet.
I would never pester for a veri, if you get one it's a bonus. Just move on and arrange the next meet. Or get a cam veri and then you can verify them.
N x |
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
"I always think people don’t like me if they don’t return a veri In a ‘nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all’ kind of a way.
Possibly true but ah well. "
Yeah possibly... but I wouldn’t mind that. Constructive criticism is good! |
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
"They may just be busy...that's all. If you've asked twice and they haven't replied, it may well be that they haven't had chance yet.
I would never pester for a veri, if you get one it's a bonus. Just move on and arrange the next meet. Or get a cam veri and then you can verify them.
N x"
Another good explanation. And good tips. Thanks N. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would always leave a veri after any kind of meet, thats the polite thing to do
Yep... guess politeness is dead...  x"
for some it is
respect goes a long way
I was going to answer earlier but I could not think of what to say
and I keep thinking shall I go and get wet in the rain  |
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I'd not chase anything, however much it's wanted, as it pressures people. Far better to put your energy into achieving what you want and where you are able to achieve it.
People at social events or clubs, as well as potentially getting together with friendly locals, could also help you with a veri.
The couple may be busy and may be a future meet option too, so give them some space and thank them for the fun and request if they could help you out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd not chase anything, however much it's wanted, as it pressures people. Far better to put your energy into achieving what you want and where you are able to achieve it.
People at social events or clubs, as well as potentially getting together with friendly locals, could also help you with a veri.
The couple may be busy and may be a future meet option too, so give them some space and thank them for the fun and request if they could help you out "
hey, I just bought The Chase playing cards for a bit of fun I love a good chase with Bradley Walsh |
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
"I'd not chase anything, however much it's wanted, as it pressures people. Far better to put your energy into achieving what you want and where you are able to achieve it.
People at social events or clubs, as well as potentially getting together with friendly locals, could also help you with a veri.
The couple may be busy and may be a future meet option too, so give them some space and thank them for the fun and request if they could help you out "
I’m done chasing, just wondered what people’s thoughts were. Thanks for replying, it’s all useful feedback. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Just had a thought, wouldn’t it be funny if after meeting someone Fab sent you a review your meet message like you get from hotels or purchasing something and you score by face...   
Did the person/people arrive on time?
Were they as described
Would you recommend to friends etc...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just rude
They no doubt made you jump through hoops to agree to meet you, now they’ve ignored your polite reminders, total lack of respect, but thus is a trait prevalent towards single men in the swinging world in general, get used to it |
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
"Just rude
They no doubt made you jump through hoops to agree to meet you, now they’ve ignored your polite reminders, total lack of respect, but thus is a trait prevalent towards single men in the swinging world in general, get used to it"
Mmm yeah you’re right... just rude. Thanks for replying |
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Yes op let it go some people prefer not to display verifications. Does not necessarily mean that we’re displeasedI, as I discovered at a meet some time back.
Enjoy the moment and the memories I’m sure you will have other opportunities.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps, like me, you were disappointing in bed.
I’m a shit fuck, hence no sexual verifications. "
We should meet up, that way we can both have shit sex haha x |
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"I'd not chase anything, however much it's wanted, as it pressures people. Far better to put your energy into achieving what you want and where you are able to achieve it.
People at social events or clubs, as well as potentially getting together with friendly locals, could also help you with a veri.
The couple may be busy and may be a future meet option too, so give them some space and thank them for the fun and request if they could help you out
I’m done chasing, just wondered what people’s thoughts were. Thanks for replying, it’s all useful feedback. "
You're welcome and I think you have made the right decision. It's helpful to get feedback from others here, where there's lots of experience and alternative perspectives. |
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"Just had a thought, wouldn’t it be funny if after meeting someone Fab sent you a review your meet message like you get from hotels or purchasing something and you score by face...
Did the person/people arrive on time?
Were they as described
Would you recommend to friends etc...
"
It's a good idea that could be particularly helpful for someone like the op. If users were prompted, they could just get them when someone has opted in, wanting veris. |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
When it's a first veri for someone , I think it's rude not to leave one. If they have made the effort and turned up on time I think it's only good manners to leave one. It takes seconds just to write a simple one !
OP I hope you find another meet soon and you get that veri. Bah humbug to the last meet. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had a thought, wouldn’t it be funny if after meeting someone Fab sent you a review your meet message like you get from hotels or purchasing something and you score by face...
Did the person/people arrive on time?
Were they as described
Would you recommend to friends etc...
"
Well it would be better than all the fake shite going around here  |
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By *ugby7inches OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool City Centre |
"Are you 100% sure they haven't? You have to go into manage verification page and manually click to display one that you have received. Just in case "
I’ve been there and checked a few times haha! But thanks anyway. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"Just had a thought, wouldn’t it be funny if after meeting someone Fab sent you a review your meet message like you get from hotels or purchasing something and you score by face...
Did the person/people arrive on time?
Were they as described
Would you recommend to friends etc...
Well it would be better than all the fake shite going around here "
Oh lol, I don’t know about any fake sh*te but might be easier/quicker for those who don’t want to write verifications for people |
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I’ve had veris drop in weeks after actually meeting....
That first one is quite important for a single guy though so I feel for you, I would suggest getting to a club - easiest way to prove yourself genuine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just rude
They no doubt made you jump through hoops to agree to meet you, now they’ve ignored your polite reminders, total lack of respect, but thus is a trait prevalent towards single men in the swinging world in general, get used to it
Mmm yeah you’re right... just rude. Thanks for replying"
Filters stop veris being passed through.... |
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"So I’m relatively new to the swinging scene as a single guy. But recently I met a couple for my first Fab encounter. It was great and I think we were all happy!
But they won’t seem to write me a verification... as it was my first meet I can’t verify them yet. Slightly annoying as this site depends on verifications (quite rightly). Most people want a verified member before they agree to meet.
Shall I just let it go?"
I'm feeling your pain OP. I've had two meets on the site. First with a woman who was new and not veried, second with a woman who doesn't do verification. It's frustrating but you've just got to move on. Lots of good advice in this thread which is great. I'm trying to get a social meet for verification or thinking of attending a club in the new year.
Onwards and upwards! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would always leave a veri after any kind of meet, thats the polite thing to do
Even if it was shit?"
My thoughts exactly
No one is under any obligation to do anything on the site they aren't comfortable with,and no it's not rude or impolite to send a verification,be it the first,100th,return or otherwise.
Yes it's nice to get one, especially the first,but the op has asked,the message was read and no veri came,so I think he can assume there won't be one from that meet.
Move on,chin up,that first veri will come. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it’s frustrating. A lot of people I meet don’t like to write verifications as they want to be discreet. That’s cool and I understand but I’d like to have something more recent showing |
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I will always verify those who verify me, if they choose not to no harm done.
Some people are just not that bothered with verifications, each to their own.
So long as you had a pleasant meeting,
“ is it really a problem “. |
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"I always think people don’t like me if they don’t return a veri In a ‘nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all’ kind of a way.
Possibly true but ah well. "
Me too, and then when they display my veri but still don’t return it I’m a bit miffed tbh. Imagine my surprise when one person did that and then asked to meet again - so presumably did actually like me. |
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I’ve never chased a veri and wouldn’t be comfortable doing so, but it does bother me when I don’t get one and I can only imagine how frustrating it must be when it’s your first veri. Can you get cam verified instead? That was how I got my first veri. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ha that’s what I was wondering as well!
eBay - “you haven’t left feedback yet, was everything okay?”
Just a little reminder!"
TBH, I’d just move on and try to find another meet up.
Good luck buddy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't always show or verify back for people who just verify us because we've chatted to them at a club, they clog up your page and make you look like you've been around the block a bit. We only show verifications that we feel were genuine,all others are mainly hidden. |
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I always verify someone after a meet, unless they have specifically asked me not to (a lot of single females ask not to be verified so they aren’t pestered by other blokes). Not everyone displays my veris, and not everyone leaves me a veri. Chasing your first veri will be frustrating I know, but better to use your energy on a new meet, and move on mate |
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"I’ve asked a couple of times in messages - very politely of course. But with no response or verification... (they’ve read the messages)"
It sounds like they either don't want to verify you or unhappy with something so won't. I would just leave it and move on the variation system is bollocks anyway. |
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If I've met someone with no verifications I'm pretty quick to sort them one as I know how important it can be especially for guys.
With repeat meets I tend to wait if they veri me unless I come up with a witty one. As I feel too many from the same person can come across as lamp post pissing x |
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"So I’m relatively new to the swinging scene as a single guy. But recently I met a couple for my first Fab encounter. It was great and I think we were all happy!
But they won’t seem to write me a verification... as it was my first meet I can’t verify them yet. Slightly annoying as this site depends on verifications (quite rightly). Most people want a verified member before they agree to meet.
Shall I just let it go?"
Does anything in their profile suggest they don't meet single guys? I get quite a few who profile as though they don't meet TV/TS, and expressly don't want a verification from one showing on their profile.
It's really up to you whether you mutually verify or not. There's no obligation. What hacks me off is when you actually discuss it at the end of a meet, agree to leave each other a verification, you leave one for them, and it's never returned. That seems to happen rather a lot.
And you can't verify each other while you're still together, because the site senses that you're both in the same location, and assumes you're verifying your own sock puppet account. (At least I presume that's why it does it.) So you have to trust them to do it once they've left.
In your situation, I think I'd message one more time, saying you'd really appreciate your first verification from them, and explaining that you need it to be able to verify other people and to improve your reputation on the site.
If they ignore that, then there isn't much you can do. |
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"So I’m relatively new to the swinging scene as a single guy. But recently I met a couple for my first Fab encounter. It was great and I think we were all happy!
But they won’t seem to write me a verification... as it was my first meet I can’t verify them yet. Slightly annoying as this site depends on verifications (quite rightly). Most people want a verified member before they agree to meet.
Shall I just let it go?"
In over 10 years I've never decided to meet someone based on verifications: what a total stranger has to say about another total stranger has no bearing on who I invite into my home: that decision is 100% mine, and mine alone to make.
That said, I've NOT met people because of their verifications!
I'd stop pestering. You've met a couple without verifications so you know it can happen. As my man Jay-Z says...onto the next one... |
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"I will always verify those who verify me, if they choose not to no harm done.
Some people are just not that bothered with verifications, each to their own.
So long as you had a pleasant meeting,
“ is it really a problem “."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually we're the first ones to write a verification after a meet. It had happened to us that the other party hasn't verified us back. We don't like to ask and just let it ride. What puzzles us though is when they're displaying our veri and asking for repeat meets. I mean why if we aren't that good to be verified back? Or is it just plain ignorance?
The only time we won't leave a verification is when they're not who they claim to be.
If you've asked and they still haven't verified you - just let it go. |
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To be fair tho I arrange socials and often get people who I’ve verified before asking (borderline begging) for another. Assumingly they are collecting numbers rather than content. It makes me cringe when someone repeat veri’s me from the same account so I’m not wanting to hand them out the same.
That said I agree that everyone deserves a veri and then if they decide to display it or not I’d up to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually we're the first ones to write a verification after a meet. It had happened to us that the other party hasn't verified us back. We don't like to ask and just let it ride. What puzzles us though is when they're displaying our veri and asking for repeat meets. I mean why if we aren't that good to be verified back? Or is it just plain ignorance?
The only time we won't leave a verification is when they're not who they claim to be.
If you've asked and they still haven't verified you - just let it go."
I mean veris after the first meet, not repeat ones. |
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"Usually we're the first ones to write a verification after a meet. It had happened to us that the other party hasn't verified us back. We don't like to ask and just let it ride. What puzzles us though is when they're displaying our veri and asking for repeat meets. I mean why if we aren't that good to be verified back? Or is it just plain ignorance?
The only time we won't leave a verification is when they're not who they claim to be.
If you've asked and they still haven't verified you - just let it go."
‘What puzzles us though is when they're displaying our veri and asking for repeat meets.’
I’ve had this and it does annoy me. If I’m good enough to meet again, and you’re displaying my veri so presumably not ashamed of having met me, why am I not good enough for a veri? |
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