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Mixing business with pleasure
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry for long post!!! Hubby and I work together except that he has another role so he has meetings which don't involve me. There is a female who works in a different office but attends alot of the same meetings as him and they have become friendly. They have talked about personal lives and he told her alot about me and it turns out me and her have alot in common.
I met her for first time at an Xmas do last night. She has told him loads over the last week how she was desparate to meet me to talk about our things in common which I was happy about because I was a bit jealous tbh that he has struck up a friendship with a woman whom I hadn't met.
At the do last night I got the feeling she fancies hubby. she was overly keen on becoming friends with me, she kept saying we are gonna have girly nights out and he will have to put up with it and if we go to bbqs at hers he will cook while we get d*unk etc, I thought it was abit OTT, like she is trying to disguise the fact she fancies him.
In the vanilla world I would think she is trying to get friendly with me to get access to him outside of work, and I still get that feeling and if we weren't into swinging I would be saying I want him to tone down his friendship and treat her strictly as a colleague, however, as we are swingers I'm actually having fantasies about bringing her into our swinging lifestyle.
Important note. She is single and she already mixes work with pleasure cos it was obvious she was gonna have sex with another guy they work with who was at the do last night. He lives out of the area so she puts him up for the night and they started openly talking about whether they would have sex and trying to make it sound like a joke.
I told hubby when we got home how I felt she fancies him and if she propositioned him I would hope he'd tell her about our lifestyle and if she wants him, I have to be included. He has promised he has never and will never cheat. However, we have had lots of mmf but don't seems to be able to attract woman on fab to have a ffm. I'm starting to think the only way it would happen is if we fell into bed after a few drinks with a lady who already knows and likes him as a person.
Please don't comment on how risky it is to bring a work colleague into the bedroom, obviously that would be the first thing we would consider, so my question is, assuming we have decided fuck it let's go for it in terms of her being a work colleague, would anyone else be paranoid that once it's happened once, she will think it's permission to drag him off down a back alley every time they have a meeting? I would think that as I am giving hubby permission to fuck another woman as long as I'm there, he doesn't need to cheat and I do trust him but do you think I would be able to trust her? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes I think that too. Even if she did try to cross the line he would hopefully say no, u know the deal, wait until the next time the 3 of us are together |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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BTW I am straight, apart from I would kiss a woman cos kissing is kissing and I love kissing. I wouldn't be saying she has to turn bi, it would be for us to team up to pleasure him and him pleasure us both. |
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"Yes I think that too. Even if she did try to cross the line he would hopefully say no, u know the deal, wait until the next time the 3 of us are together"
You have nothing to worry about then
You do trust him, don't you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I think that too. Even if she did try to cross the line he would hopefully say no, u know the deal, wait until the next time the 3 of us are together
You have nothing to worry about then
You do trust him, don't you?"
I do trust him, yes. The point of wanting to trust her too though is that I wouldn't want to have to fall out with her for trying it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe she is a swinger and she and the male colleague want a foursome with you, which is why they were so open in talking about having sex. "
Lol yes, since posting I have wondered, maybe she is bi and was genuinely wanting to get close to me, or, if the other colleague is already and established fwb of hers (cos he has stayed at hers after many meetings and parties) perhaps if the subject comes up with her I could ask if he would want to join in as a 4some |
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"Yes I think that too. Even if she did try to cross the line he would hopefully say no, u know the deal, wait until the next time the 3 of us are together
You have nothing to worry about then
You do trust him, don't you?
I do trust him, yes. The point of wanting to trust her too though is that I wouldn't want to have to fall out with her for trying it"
Well you said "he would hopefully say no". That made me think that you're not 100% sure he would. My personal opinion is that you shouldn't get into a situation you have doubts about if it involves your relationship,whoever the doubts are about.
What's he got to say on the subject? |
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"Yes I think that too. Even if she did try to cross the line he would hopefully say no, u know the deal, wait until the next time the 3 of us are together
You have nothing to worry about then
You do trust him, don't you?
I do trust him, yes. The point of wanting to trust her too though is that I wouldn't want to have to fall out with her for trying it
Well you said "he would hopefully say no". That made me think that you're not 100% sure he would. My personal opinion is that you shouldn't get into a situation you have doubts about if it involves your relationship,whoever the doubts are about.
What's he got to say on the subject? "
Oh and if you get to the stage of a threesome both of you just make it clear before that neither of you play alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I've avoided mixing business with pleasure all my life ...seen it go wrong far too many times (also seen amazing things come out of it) luckily had everything I wanted away from work! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe she is a swinger and she and the male colleague want a foursome with you, which is why they were so open in talking about having sex.
Lol yes, since posting I have wondered, maybe she is bi and was genuinely wanting to get close to me, or, if the other colleague is already and established fwb of hers (cos he has stayed at hers after many meetings and parties) perhaps if the subject comes up with her I could ask if he would want to join in as a 4some"
I think the chances of this being the case are pretty slim |
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By *izzy69Man
over a year ago
London |
"BIG mistake involving anyone from work, ever! Even if consensual
Even if consensual ? Surely it is far worse if it's not consensual. "
By consensual I meant in the professional sense, that there was agreement about how work and private lives be kept independent. |
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"Op, After you and hubby have an fmf with the woman, how will you then feel about hubby and the woman being in frequent contact at work?"
This really, can’t see in practice how this is likely to work out. Any time business and pleasure gets mixed you have to ask yourself how important the job(s) are to you.
Also you’re straight and seem to have already found her a little irritating? |
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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
I'd avoid completely.
Your contact with her at the work do didn't seem natural to you so was probably not her being genuine.
Don't test your trust in your partner because you feel unicorns are scarce and you are jumping at an opportunity.
Sorry but think this one will end in tears.
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"Maybe she is a swinger and she and the male colleague want a foursome with you, which is why they were so open in talking about having sex.
Lol yes, since posting I have wondered, maybe she is bi and was genuinely wanting to get close to me, or, if the other colleague is already and established fwb of hers (cos he has stayed at hers after many meetings and parties) perhaps if the subject comes up with her I could ask if he would want to join in as a 4some"
I think you are making a big mistake mixing the swinging world and your personal/professional life. Be prepared to lose your man/never be able to trust him again. He may fuck her, it's disguised as swinging and before you know it you are history. Ask yourself why you are thinking of letting her into your relationship. This will end in tears. Sounds like you are being played. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK I would love to quote something from every message and reply to each one but I think the overriding opinion is that it would not be a good idea and yes maybe I am looking for a unicorn in real life because we haven't found one on here. Thanks everyone |
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