FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Closing account... Maybe
Closing account... Maybe
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By *amfab OP Man
over a year ago
Luton |
Had zero luck on here in over a year, anyone got any final suggestions before I just close my account ?? ??
I think in a year I've had 2 inbox messages out of the blue from interested people, never amounts to anything, and after sending out messages upon message, nice ones being polite and kind, sending them to individuals I think I've received maybe 9 replies..never goes any further than how are you, and yeah I think this site works for some but defo doesn't work for all..
Don't get me wrong the site is OK but most people on here seem to just look around and not reach out etc.. That's my opinion
What am I doing wrong.. Or shall I just close up and move on
HELP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have been given plenty of advice on your previous posts. Unfortunately, as a single male, odds are against you on this site. One of your threads was about going to a club- I'm guessing you still haven't put your big pants on and tried it? Yes, it is daunting, going to a swingers club for the first time, but everyone is friendly there.
Just sticking to Fab is not enough, you need to get yourself known in the swinging community, let your personality shine through. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
You've posted about this before and been given loads of advice, but you didn't take any of it. Of course you're not obliged to, but why keep doing the same things with the same profile if it's not getting you anywhere? Change it up a bit. |
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By *amfab OP Man
over a year ago
Luton |
Yes very true.. I've been given plenty of advice & I have tried to take on board before, like revamping my profile.. Changing pics and hiding cock photos etc and I do understand the odds are stacked against me,.. Maybe the big boy pants are the next move to get known and go to a club, and I don't smile I think I look really weird when I do.... If you ever do see me smiling then the photo was taken without me knowing.
I think going to a club might have to be my next move but it's growing the balls, this site in the beginning was a tad out of my comfort zone so will be a club.. Time to buck up and grow some balls I'm guessing... |
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By *amfab OP Man
over a year ago
Luton |
"You've posted about this before and been given loads of advice, but you didn't take any of it. Of course you're not obliged to, but why keep doing the same things with the same profile if it's not getting you anywhere? Change it up a bit. "
I've changed my profile loads trying new things and approaches |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe actually listen to people trying to help. You’ve been given loads of advice in the past and you haven’t made the changes suggested. Also please do remember not everyone is going to thrive in this world. Something 9 out of 10 guys won’t get anywhere on here. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"You've posted about this before and been given loads of advice, but you didn't take any of it. Of course you're not obliged to, but why keep doing the same things with the same profile if it's not getting you anywhere? Change it up a bit.
I've changed my profile loads trying new things and approaches "
Overwhelmingly, people told you that you look sad in your pictures and you should try a smiling one. I'm not saying this to be harsh, it's the main thing that I and many others have picked up on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes very true.. I've been given plenty of advice & I have tried to take on board before, like revamping my profile.. Changing pics and hiding cock photos etc and I do understand the odds are stacked against me,.. Maybe the big boy pants are the next move to get known and go to a club, and I don't smile I think I look really weird when I do.... If you ever do see me smiling then the photo was taken without me knowing.
I think going to a club might have to be my next move but it's growing the balls, this site in the beginning was a tad out of my comfort zone so will be a club.. Time to buck up and grow some balls I'm guessing... "
It's the only way as fab is just one component of a single guys swinging tool box, used in isolation it rarely works. You need to get on those big boy pants and go to a swingers social and to a swinging club, become known for the right reasons, gain verifications from experienced / genuine members and in time you get house party and event invites and then fab will start to pay dividends.
If your not prepared to take those leaps then fab and swinging might not be for you fella and that's ok.
There's a difference between a single male or a cheating male out looking for NSA sex and a single male swinger who embraces the scene and becomes a part of it.
KJ |
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By *amfab OP Man
over a year ago
Luton |
I think I'm gonna have to jump in the deep end and go to a club etc, as I've made change to profile a good number it times and I have taken on board comments and suggestion, my profile I think is more approachable now then when I first began, it's the smiling thing that killing my changes maybe.. |
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By *amfab OP Man
over a year ago
Luton |
"You best smile at a club  "
I do smile, I just can't smile for photos, I just go into picture mode and my face goes blank.. Apart from photos I'm always smiling ?... I need photos taken of me when I don't realise then I'll have smiling pictures
I'm gonna do my best to impress |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"I think I'm gonna have to jump in the deep end and go to a club etc, as I've made change to profile a good number it times and I have taken on board comments and suggestion, my profile I think is more approachable now then when I first began, it's the smiling thing that killing my changes maybe.. "
. It’s hard for us single guys as we outnumber the ladies and couples by 20 to 1 if not more according to the forums.Looking at your profile with regards to your location it maybe worthwhile checking out the website for Greenhouse sauna in your area to see what nights maybe best for you to attend.Arousals is in Dunstable which is not far from you.A little bit further is Radletts in Radlett.All of these are on Fabs on the club reviews as well as their own website why not read up on them and if you drive go along.Don’t give up until you have looked at the club and spa option.Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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By *amfab OP Man
over a year ago
Luton |
"I think I'm gonna have to jump in the deep end and go to a club etc, as I've made change to profile a good number it times and I have taken on board comments and suggestion, my profile I think is more approachable now then when I first began, it's the smiling thing that killing my changes maybe.. . It’s hard for us single guys as we outnumber the ladies and couples by 20 to 1 if not more according to the forums.Looking at your profile with regards to your location it maybe worthwhile checking out the website for Greenhouse sauna in your area to see what nights maybe best for you to attend.Arousals is in Dunstable which is not far from you.A little bit further is Radletts in Radlett.All of these are on Fabs on the club reviews as well as their own website why not read up on them and if you drive go along.Don’t give up until you have looked at the club and spa option.Best of luck with whatever you decide."
Thanks and yeah we are outnumbered on here, thats all part of the chellenge I guess.. and I'm not driving at the moment but I can travel if needs be, I've checked out greenhouse on reviews and there site.. I just need to attend now, or what's this one in Radlett... I need to Google this one |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"I think I'm gonna have to jump in the deep end and go to a club etc, as I've made change to profile a good number it times and I have taken on board comments and suggestion, my profile I think is more approachable now then when I first began, it's the smiling thing that killing my changes maybe.. . It’s hard for us single guys as we outnumber the ladies and couples by 20 to 1 if not more according to the forums.Looking at your profile with regards to your location it maybe worthwhile checking out the website for Greenhouse sauna in your area to see what nights maybe best for you to attend.Arousals is in Dunstable which is not far from you.A little bit further is Radletts in Radlett.All of these are on Fabs on the club reviews as well as their own website why not read up on them and if you drive go along.Don’t give up until you have looked at the club and spa option.Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Thanks and yeah we are outnumbered on here, thats all part of the chellenge I guess.. and I'm not driving at the moment but I can travel if needs be, I've checked out greenhouse on reviews and there site.. I just need to attend now, or what's this one in Radlett... I need to Google this one "
. If you go to club reviews on Fabs under Greater London you will find Radlett Parties lots of reviews and you can get to their website from there |
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Are you really into everything in your interests list?
Adult Parties, Swingers Clubs, Dogging
These are all social activities bu you have not tried socials or clubs so how do you know?
Cuckolding
In what role?
Anal, Gangbangs, Fisting, Group Sex, Rimming, SM, DP
This would suggest you are looking for a more intense side of sex.
Cybersex, Phone Sex, Webcams
Could put off those who are cautious about fakes just after wank material.
Making Videos, Taking Photos, Voyeurism
This could be off putting for those who like to keep meets private.
Role Play
What roles?
If you are into all those things then great but it may limit your responses as some don't go well together and finding others with as broad a repetaur maybe restrict people who feel they match your desires.
Also your wording talks about friendship, which suggests a more committed contact.
We like friendly people but we are not looking to make friends with everyone we meet, just to have fun. |
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Also just to emphasise the numbers game here.
Using your basic preferences there are 36 women within 5 miles of you that are verified as genuine and active within the last month between the ages of 20 and 49.
Where as there are over 300 men between the ages of 25 and 29, looking to meet those 36 women.
If you expanded that to men between 20 and 49 could can see the massive difference in choice between the numbers. If there are 10 men for every verified woman within just 5 miles and a 5 year age range. That will become 100's if not 1000s as you widen the age profile and distances thst some men are willing to travel.
That is why socials events make a huge difference as it cuts through all that noise. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I suggest you don't start any message you send with "how are you ?" or any text speak variation of it OP. It just makes it look like other similar messages which won't be opened either.If something is not working then change it . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you really into everything in your interests list?
Adult Parties, Swingers Clubs, Dogging
These are all social activities bu you have not tried socials or clubs so how do you know?
Cuckolding
In what role?
Anal, Gangbangs, Fisting, Group Sex, Rimming, SM, DP
This would suggest you are looking for a more intense side of sex.
Cybersex, Phone Sex, Webcams
Could put off those who are cautious about fakes just after wank material.
Making Videos, Taking Photos, Voyeurism
This could be off putting for those who like to keep meets private.
Role Play
What roles?
If you are into all those things then great but it may limit your responses as some don't go well together and finding others with as broad a repetaur maybe restrict people who feel they match your desires.
Also your wording talks about friendship, which suggests a more committed contact.
We like friendly people but we are not looking to make friends with everyone we meet, just to have fun. "
OP
Take not of this excellent post and act on it as they make some fantastic points.
KJ |
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"Yes very true.. I've been given plenty of advice & I have tried to take on board before, like revamping my profile.. Changing pics and hiding cock photos etc and I do understand the odds are stacked against me,.. Maybe the big boy pants are the next move to get known and go to a club, and I don't smile I think I look really weird when I do.... If you ever do see me smiling then the photo was taken without me knowing.
I think going to a club might have to be my next move but it's growing the balls, this site in the beginning was a tad out of my comfort zone so will be a club.. Time to buck up and grow some balls I'm guessing... "
This site was out of your comfort zone??...
Are you sure you really are a swinger? Or just a fantasist that thinks they are .. |
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I would just close my account being honest and I’m not saying that sarcastically or with any bad or nasty tone, if it’s not working for you then what’s the point in being here ? If you head is telling you to put a thread up because your thinking of leaving then listen to it and delete your profile. Maybe have a break from here and come back with a fresh outlook and approach.
Good luck either way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have to seek others opinions (again I believe) to alter your life it says more about you.
You change your own path
As post above... delete. Find a better happiness place then return if you want to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Too young for me, but no smiles in your pics, therefore doesn't seem approachable."
He didn’t ask if he was too young for you. He was asking for proper advice |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I suggest you don't start any message you send with "how are you ?""
Dead right. We get ten-twenty each day just asking how we are or if we're up to anything interesting. We know it's just a polite way to start a conversation but we don't have time to tell everyone how we are. Be interesting, be funny, show us that you've read our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Too young for me, but no smiles in your pics, therefore doesn't seem approachable.
He didn’t ask if he was too young for you. He was asking for proper advice"
The advice is literally right there in what you've quoted, not sure how you missed it. 
Anyway OP, your profile seems fine to me. Would recommend you lose the pics that are screenshots as that can look a bit dodgy. Good luck. |
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"Had zero luck on here in over a year, anyone got any final suggestions before I just close my account ?? ??
I think in a year I've had 2 inbox messages out of the blue from interested people, never amounts to anything, and after sending out messages upon message, nice ones being polite and kind, sending them to individuals I think I've received maybe 9 replies..never goes any further than how are you, and yeah I think this site works for some but defo doesn't work for all..
Don't get me wrong the site is OK but most people on here seem to just look around and not reach out etc.. That's my opinion
What am I doing wrong.. Or shall I just close up and move on
HELP "
Stay on and enjoy the banter and forums but have low expectations and then anything else is a bonus.
Get yourself out and about and have fun from meets in pubs, clubs and Xmas party's if you don't get lucky you'll have had a good night out anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had zero luck on here in over a year, anyone got any final suggestions before I just close my account ?? ??
I think in a year I've had 2 inbox messages out of the blue from interested people, never amounts to anything, and after sending out messages upon message, nice ones being polite and kind, sending them to individuals I think I've received maybe 9 replies..never goes any further than how are you, and yeah I think this site works for some but defo doesn't work for all..
Don't get me wrong the site is OK but most people on here seem to just look around and not reach out etc.. That's my opinion
What am I doing wrong.. Or shall I just close up and move on
HELP "
Try putting up some dick pics,
Works for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People our age don't have much luck here I've found. Most here were born just after humanity visited the moon. They don't like us younger generations. Just how it might be sometimes. Just don't give up. I've been here a while and not much success with only one meet. Never give up, you'll find that person you click with. |
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I think, he created this post and was expecting responses like “ohh no, please stay”.
Where to be honest, profile text is boring, photos are crap, even in this message here he did not say what he did to be successful.
For the men, everyone knows that a club is a starting point.
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think, he created this post and was expecting responses like “ohh no, please stay”.
Where to be honest, profile text is boring, photos are crap, even in this message here he did not say what he did to be successful.
For the men, everyone knows that a club is a starting point.
"
Or an organised social. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"I think, he created this post and was expecting responses like “ohh no, please stay”.
Where to be honest, profile text is boring, photos are crap, even in this message here he did not say what he did to be successful.
For the men, everyone knows that a club is a starting point.
"
. Clubs and organised socials definitely best way to start for a single guy.I gave the OP details of the club Arousals and Greenhouse spa which are in or near his area and I advised him to check out the reviews on Fabs and the websites for suitable events.Maybe been this close to Christmas something else has come up and hopefully the OP will follow up in the new year |
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