FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What do you put in your initial intro?
What do you put in your initial intro?
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"Curious because "hey, love your profile, get in touch" seems a bit brief but then why write an essay when much of what I would say is in my profile? "
Do you have any idea just how many messages along the lines of "hey, love your profile, get in touch" the average woman or couple get every single day? They are pretty much all ignored, and it doesn't show any real interest in the person you are writing too, and is a generic copy and paste message that could have been sent to hundreds of people.
There is no hard and fast rule what to put in a message. However, you should try to make it interesting and stand out from the crowd. Reading your targets profile should help. |
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"We would ignore that message. "
Ditto!
Anything like that, reads to me as a, generic message probably sent to every person in a 10mile radius.
An opening message, needs to get my attention, show the sender has read & understood my profile, preferences.
Something personal, including something about them too. |
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"Curious because "hey, love your profile, get in touch" seems a bit brief but then why write an essay when much of what I would say is in my profile? "
And there's the mistake...if everything you were about to say is in your profile it would suggest you haven't read, or are responding to, their profile. |
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"Curious because "hey, love your profile, get in touch" seems a bit brief but then why write an essay when much of what I would say is in my profile? "
Some women won’t look at your profile until they’ve read your message and concluded that they would like to know more.
So sometimes you have to repeat yourself.
But more importantly, you need to say what you like about a profile, why you have messaged them, and what you think you can bring to the table, so that they can separate you from the hundreds of other messages they receive.
I’m proof that this really does work. I get plenty of answers, socials and meets by writing respectful bespoke messages. |
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"Curious because "hey, love your profile, get in touch" seems a bit brief but then why write an essay when much of what I would say is in my profile? "
So what would you expect someone to write in their reply to "hey, love your profile, get in touch" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (mrs k) message a lot of guys (drives mr k crackers)
I ALWAYS read people's profiles, searching for the quirky and unusual out there
As a woman when i message i will always male refrence to the profile or something iv seen in a pic, usually obscure.
Messages are tests! The smallest of things gives insight to the person.
I get some great first messages and i also get some proper crap ones.i try to respond to all ,unless they are refering to something illegal then i block x |
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I actually prefer a short first message. I find long ones off putting, that would never happen in real life. If a person approached me with a speech about all the things they like about me in a pub I’d think they were crazy. Same here.
A quick ‘hiya, really like your profile, my name is X’ is far more reasonable than reems of message I think. That said I can’t stand people who don’t read profiles, so if it’s clear a person hasn’t read mine it won’t matter what their message said, I’d delete it straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would love to know the actual ratio of genuine guys to genuine fems/couples
Most defiantly need to put some effort in your first message that’s for sure
"
I totally understand this, some people are here to chat and some are serious swingers! We fall into the latter and the fabmin that has to take place to make it happen is dull!
There is a lot of blowing smoke up ppls arses on here onsyead of people actually enjoying the play x |
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By *ait88Man
over a year ago
Plymouth |
First message rules:
1. Why are you sending the message? What does their profile say that makes them interesting?
2. What are you offering them?
3. Give RELEVANT personal details about yourself that aren’t in your profile. This may mean deleting a thing or two from your blog.
4. Ask them a sensible question to prompt a reply.
I‘m extreme. I have no profile blog at all, just like a significant number of women. I’m a hunter, not prey. My first messages say everything about me that I think the targets may want to know. I’m looking for single women, and most of them tend to get too many messages to respond to. They have no reason or time for browsing men’s profiles on spec.
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By *enisonMan
over a year ago
Wokingham |
Thank you for the positive guidance. Being new on here I am making the same mistakes as those before me but without guidance! Already I have come to appreciate the number of dreamers who write profiles is quite significant and I would love to stand out from the “cancel at the last minute because my parrot needs emergency surgery idiots” . I am honest, forthright and want to share please with others. |
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"Curious because "hey, love your profile, get in touch" seems a bit brief but then why write an essay when much of what I would say is in my profile?
Some women won’t look at your profile until they’ve read your message and concluded that they would like to know more.
So sometimes you have to repeat yourself.
But more importantly, you need to say what you like about a profile, why you have messaged them, and what you think you can bring to the table, so that they can separate you from the hundreds of other messages they receive.
I’m proof that this really does work. I get plenty of answers, socials and meets by writing respectful bespoke messages."
My messages are never like that, I read their profile of course , but my initial message is usually short, an ice breaker if you like. The most successful way I find is to say something amusing or something they can relate to, that they can’t resist replying to. Albeit it doesn’t always work, but has been relatively successful for a guy who didn’t join until I was past it.
People make the mistake of thinking one size fits all ( not you) , there is no magic answer. People just have to find what works for them. |
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