FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single guy question
Single guy question
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. |
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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago
East Northamptonshire |
We've had a similar thing so many times, especially with no shows at socials. I think a lot of single guys love the idea of being involved with a couple or another mans wife but then can't handle it when it becomes a reality |
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By *stondb7Couple
over a year ago
Preston |
Don't worry, you aren't alone in this....it's happened to us a couple of times now...we think the same as you guys, whether they are attached and have a guilt complex or perhaps like you say don't like the idea of sharing... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never been ghosted or ghosted anyone; but suggest maybe they just got cold feet & decided couple play wasn’t for them?
Dates or something could be an issue, but it’s disrespectful to at least not communicate a reason and possible re-arrange if he can’t attend... strange  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just can’t get my fucking head around why a guy would do this "
It feels like he’s run a marathon, can see the finish line and just gives up with all the hard work done.
Guys like this definitely ruin it for other guys. We understand couples are fickle too but when you’ve had a social for a couple of hours with everyone ready to play at the weekend then it’s annoying.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve never been ghosted or ghosted anyone; but suggest maybe they just got cold feet & decided couple play wasn’t for them?
Dates or something could be an issue, but it’s disrespectful to at least not communicate a reason and possible re-arrange if he can’t attend... strange "
He was nervous at the meet but a mid 40s guy so not a kid. Reckon he probably can’t handle a couple meet. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
His mum got rushed to hospital, His cat is at the vets after being run over,
His asthma flared up and he wants to see how he is in 24 hours,
There might be legitimate reasons or he might have cold feet. But if you have messaged him twice, then wait for him to return the call.
If he doesn't then go to a club. You don't get no shows there . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never been ghosted or ghosted anyone; but suggest maybe they just got cold feet & decided couple play wasn’t for them?
Dates or something could be an issue, but it’s disrespectful to at least not communicate a reason and possible re-arrange if he can’t attend... strange
He was nervous at the meet but a mid 40s guy so not a kid. Reckon he probably can’t handle a couple meet. "
There's a possibility he just wasn't as into you as you thought |
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Couldn't you have chosen a hotel closer to his house so he could have gone home afterwards and you could have kept the hotel room ?
Did you not think the fact he said he was having work done in his flat and couldn't accommodate suspicious ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There could have been any number of reasons why he stopped. If genuine, then he would probably have let you know and rearranged.
A complete stoppage of communication is usually due to him either being a time waster, fantasist or as said previously, someone who wanted to do this in his head but just couldn’t when the time came.
There are a lot of men in here who are very shy, insecure or have issues with their sexual performance. They use this site to try to overcome these problems but then suddenly find themselves in a corner, with a female or couple wanting to play. Then they either man up or quite often chicken out.
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. "
. If he has changed his mind for whatever reasons out of respect to you he should not maintain radio silence for 48 hours he should be messaging you to tell you why he can’t make it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. . If he has changed his mind for whatever reasons out of respect to you he should not maintain radio silence for 48 hours he should be messaging you to tell you why he can’t make it."
Agree re the respect part, he should have let them know he wasnt going to meet after all but hes under no obligation to explain why, surely? |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. . If he has changed his mind for whatever reasons out of respect to you he should not maintain radio silence for 48 hours he should be messaging you to tell you why he can’t make it.
Agree re the respect part, he should have let them know he wasnt going to meet after all but hes under no obligation to explain why, surely?"
. Perhaps he doesn’t need to explain just that if it was me I would explain myself my thinking is the other party should know my reasons why I can’t see them. |
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Could really be as simple as something changed his mind although he should of done the decent thing and explained at the very least, all you can do is learn from it but don’t let it spoil it for others  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. "
People like himself that ruin it for people like me!!! His loss |
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Have had this happen a few times to us. At first it annoyed us but now we just let it slide on past. Obviously the mannerly thing to do would have been to let you guys know that he wasnt going ahead with it or whatever but it is what it is. Id just block and move on |
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"Maybe you should ask for a man's phone number next time when making arrangements OP ? "
To me this is logical. If I’m meeting someone I expect a chat first. You’d be amazed at how many guys refuse to give out their number until they have met you. If they say it to me I stop communicating with them, but I’ve seen on forums where women find it okay. |
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Tbh and this works both ways. I’ve had conversations with couples and have been planning things for weeks and then they say something that’s just puts me off meeting them. I usually tell them why and finish it there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you give him the hotel money? "
He doesn't have a flat. It's 'getting work done' every week. For the price of a coffee social he gets half the money for a hotel room. Bargain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"His mum got rushed to hospital, His cat is at the vets after being run over,
His asthma flared up and he wants to see how he is in 24 hours,
There might be legitimate reasons or he might have cold feet. But if you have messaged him twice, then wait for him to return the call.
If he doesn't then go to a club. You don't get no shows there . "
Thought that was ladies excuses  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens with everyone regardless. I've had meets arranged with women, took time off work.... no show, then receive a message hours later saying their mum had a fall, the boiler broke and was waiting for someone to fix it....the list is endless!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You were obviously very interested in his large cock.. Funny thing about well hung guys, not all of them can perform.. In fact the more of an issue is made.. The more difficult it may become for him...
He could be a tosser that bottled it.. You just don't know... You'll get over it though won't you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I recently booked a hotel to meet a bloke. Hotel booked on sat night to meet tue night.
He confirmed the day before and that morning he was coming.
Then he text an hour and a half before to cancel. Prick.
I couldn’t even get the money back for the hotel as it was cancelled so late so got charged for the room. Asked him to send me the money for the hotel since he was so sorry and he was the one cancelling, instead he’s uninstalled kik and hid his page on here because he’s a tight ass.
He was fully verified and i spoke on the phone with him.
He cancelled once before when a hotel wasn’t booked and I let that slide. Mistake. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support. |
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"Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support. "
They say there’s one born every minute |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Glad all is back on track.
Still sounds off that he read message but couldn’t spare 2 mins of courtesy to message you both.
"
Yes. Don’t know if it’s inexperience or didn’t think it was an issue to go quiet for a while when a meet was so close and no hotel had yet been booked.
Sorted now. Or so we think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support. "
I love an unexpected happy ending |
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"Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support.
I love an unexpected happy ending "
it hasn’t ended yet. Personally, even as a single guy, I wouldn’t be meeting them if they hadn’t bothered to reply to two messages after reading them. It smacks of they found something better to do, and now they are trying to retrieve the situation. There’d be blocked by now. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support. "
. The main thing is you are back on track for the meeting with the reassurance that he has booked a hotel room. It sounds like you are happy with the explanation he has given you.So all I will say is I hope everything goes well for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support.
I love an unexpected happy ending
it hasn’t ended yet. Personally, even as a single guy, I wouldn’t be meeting them if they hadn’t bothered to reply to two messages after reading them. It smacks of they found something better to do, and now they are trying to retrieve the situation. There’d be blocked by now."
Maybe he found something better to do but she ghosted him. |
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"Turns out he was busy with work although he admits he should have returned message . Radio silence when you’ve seen messages are read so close to a meet made us think we’d been ghosted but turns out we haven’t.
We never did give money for the hotel but he’s booked it , we’ve seen the booking, and now back in conversation so fingers crossed the meet goes ahead and it was just a lost 48 hours.
Thanks for all the comments and support.
I love an unexpected happy ending
it hasn’t ended yet. Personally, even as a single guy, I wouldn’t be meeting them if they hadn’t bothered to reply to two messages after reading them. It smacks of they found something better to do, and now they are trying to retrieve the situation. There’d be blocked by now.
Maybe he found something better to do but she ghosted him. "
Highly likely. |
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. "
We've not met anyone via the site as a meet yet but it's such a shame to hear that. Makes no Sense and frustrating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here’s the dilemma.
Single guy emails. Has own place so can accommodate.
Chat goes well on Fab and Kik. Exchange pics. You’re not real he says ‘pics too good’. We send other pics to prove genuine. He’s verified by a few single women and one couple though has met two couples. We arrange social.
Everyone turns up at midweek social. Get on well. He likes us. Seems nervous but fancies L. He’s fit and well endowed from photos. He’s getting work done on flat hopefully ready Sat for play meet at his but not sure. We suggest half for a hotel room to save hassle. He’s happy with that.
He needs to stay overnight in hotel as he lives out of town. We suggest he books hotel and we’ll give half money (even in advance). He’s happy with that. Give him suggestion for hotel which is reasonably priced.
Now radio silence for the last 48 hours. Message him saying is all ok. Message read but no reply. Twice.
He’s got a guaranteed play meet in a hotel with someone he said he really fancied in the flesh but is ghosting us.
Don’t think he was married as he suggested coming to his flat first and managed to easily meet us on a week night which might be difficult with a wife. He’s in decent shape and well endowed, from pics and veris. He should be a lot more popular than he is.
So .... we’re thinking he just can’t handle a straight couple meet. He got further than hundreds of other guys but when he’s had time to think about it he has lost his bottle.
Would that seem a fair assessment ? Happened to many other couples?
Pain in the butt when it takes such a lot of effort to filter and meet people and you’re left hanging. . If he has changed his mind for whatever reasons out of respect to you he should not maintain radio silence for 48 hours he should be messaging you to tell you why he can’t make it."
I'd agree with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - this sort of thing happens all the time on here. Very much par for the course. Chat chat chat, meet? Silence.
Standard behaviour for people on here. |
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"OP - this sort of thing happens all the time on here. Very much par for the course. Chat chat chat, meet? Silence.
Standard behaviour for people on here."
Sadly true. But you will learn to spot the likely time wasters. Some people can’t walk the walk and others are always thinking there’s a better option they can choose instead. The advice I’d give is don’t waste your time wondering or worrying about what happened. A crappy person ghosted you, which seems a good thing as none of us needs crappy people playing games with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Final update on this
He did get back to us and a hotel was arranged. We turned up at his room and he was very d*unk. He said he’d been nervous all day.
We decided not to play with a d*unk person.
So we reckon he’s not a player but was just struggling with meeting a couple and maybe found it intimidating. Probably fighting a “should I shouldn’t I” dilemma.
We’re not a charity or therapist so we don’t do a sympathy shag for someone who is blind d*unk.
He’ll be kicking himself tomorrow as we were in the room ready to go and he got too d*unk.
Feel sorry for him as swinging doesn’t seem to be for him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Final update on this
He did get back to us and a hotel was arranged. We turned up at his room and he was very d*unk. He said he’d been nervous all day.
We decided not to play with a d*unk person.
So we reckon he’s not a player but was just struggling with meeting a couple and maybe found it intimidating. Probably fighting a “should I shouldn’t I” dilemma.
We’re not a charity or therapist so we don’t do a sympathy shag for someone who is blind d*unk.
He’ll be kicking himself tomorrow as we were in the room ready to go and he got too d*unk.
Feel sorry for him as swinging doesn’t seem to be for him"
It doesn't seem to be working out great for you either tbf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he just changed his mind God forbid. Single guys get ghosted all the time, it's not necessarily a big deal"
Common courtesy to say thanks but no thanks surely? Male, female or couple.
And yes, it’s not necessarily a big deal, just disappointing and rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got chatting g to a couple. Seemed to be getting Along well. Exchanged numbers and photos. The f gets in touch with me one night when she was d*unk. Starting telling g me she wanted me to physically fight her for her man, she’d also like me to let her drag me over the room by the hair while I’m playing with him. Gave no explanation whatsoever of why I’ve ignored her and blocked her on 3 different profiles since |
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I don't get it. I've never ghosted anyone or not turned up for a meet. There are a lot of us who would gone out of our way to ensure the meet went ahead and that we did all we could to impress in the right ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got chatting g to a couple. Seemed to be getting Along well. Exchanged numbers and photos. The f gets in touch with me one night when she was d*unk. Starting telling g me she wanted me to physically fight her for her man, she’d also like me to let her drag me over the room by the hair while I’m playing with him. Gave no explanation whatsoever of why I’ve ignored her and blocked her on 3 different profiles since "
I'd assume it was the man mailing you with his wank fantasies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Final update on this
He did get back to us and a hotel was arranged. We turned up at his room and he was very d*unk. He said he’d been nervous all day.
We decided not to play with a d*unk person.
So we reckon he’s not a player but was just struggling with meeting a couple and maybe found it intimidating. Probably fighting a “should I shouldn’t I” dilemma.
We’re not a charity or therapist so we don’t do a sympathy shag for someone who is blind d*unk.
He’ll be kicking himself tomorrow as we were in the room ready to go and he got too d*unk.
Feel sorry for him as swinging doesn’t seem to be for him"
Not a happy ending.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This right here. Single guys have it pretty rough on these sorts of sites. I've been ghosted by all sorts. It happens, and it's frustrating. But just because you're a couple or a woman doesn't entitle you to be treated better than a single guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds like the rouse a few attached men come up with saying they have a flat but its not fir for use. Suggest picking him up from his place and booking a place local to him that usually tells you all you need to know. |
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