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Quality over quantity
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Firstly, I am not looking for sympathy here, just your opinion if you were in my shoes.
I am unfortunately one of the 47,000 men diagnosed with prostate cancer every year here in the UK, basically I am just a statistic.
The cancer is such that the surgeon has suggested removal of the prostate, now this is where the internet can be your worst enemy.
Looking on line regarding post-surgery symptoms does not make for good reading, two main issues being impotence and incontinence.
My question is, would you choose quality of life for however long is left, or go for surgery and have quantity, albeit not the life you are used to living today?
Regardless of any answers given here, I have made my mind up, so you would not influence my decision either way, I just wondered how you would handle the situation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry you have to go through this but hope you have taken your friends and family into your consideration, personally for me sex isn't really important over life so if that was the choice for me life would win! |
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"I'm sorry you have to go through this but hope you have taken your friends and family into your consideration, personally for me sex isn't really important over life so if that was the choice for me life would win! "
Hi there
Many thanks for your reply.
Sadly, I don't have any family to consider, otherwise my decision would be different.
My Mom and Dad, wife and younger sister are all no longer here and I have not got any children.
That scenario has added to my decision. |
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 sorry to hear
One of those really ***** things and wish you the best (and selfishly grateful I'm currently untouched!)
Given the awful choice, I'd go for length of life and enjoy what I can for as long as I can. Yes, certain things MAY no longer be possible, but prefer 10 years on sofa chatting to wife with the resultant symptoms.... Not sure I'd ponder too long to be honest.
Don't forget without the op, you may go on a bit how you are, then if things get worse then they could get really worse and make you wore off....
47,000 diagnoses per year? Thats lower than I thought - quick google says 1/9 of us will be diagnosed.... 
Good luck whatever you decide. Only you know your right answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry you have to go through this but hope you have taken your friends and family into your consideration, personally for me sex isn't really important over life so if that was the choice for me life would win!
Hi there
Many thanks for your reply.
Sadly, I don't have any family to consider, otherwise my decision would be different.
My Mom and Dad, wife and younger sister are all no longer here and I have not got any children.
That scenario has added to my decision."
I can totally understand your decision but have witnessed a very good and dear friend go through it to the end and all of that goes anyway!
How about watching the sunrise? I love galloping along 3 miles of sand ... swimming in the sunset, walking, quiet nights reading, laughing with friends there is so much to enjoy! Helping others ... |
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"Firstly, I am not looking for sympathy here, just your opinion if you were in my shoes.
I am unfortunately one of the 47,000 men diagnosed with prostate cancer every year here in the UK, basically I am just a statistic.
The cancer is such that the surgeon has suggested removal of the prostate, now this is where the internet can be your worst enemy.
Looking on line regarding post-surgery symptoms does not make for good reading, two main issues being impotence and incontinence.
My question is, would you choose quality of life for however long is left, or go for surgery and have quantity, albeit not the life you are used to living today?
Regardless of any answers given here, I have made my mind up, so you would not influence my decision either way, I just wondered how you would handle the situation.
"
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 weeks ago and had surgery last Friday. I guess the only person that can make the decision is you but personally I would go for surgery, the post surgery symptoms you looked up may not happen in your case everyone is different. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope whatever decision you make works out for you. Would love to hear how you get on...big hugs xx |
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"Firstly, I am not looking for sympathy here, just your opinion if you were in my shoes.
I am unfortunately one of the 47,000 men diagnosed with prostate cancer every year here in the UK, basically I am just a statistic.
The cancer is such that the surgeon has suggested removal of the prostate, now this is where the internet can be your worst enemy.
Looking on line regarding post-surgery symptoms does not make for good reading, two main issues being impotence and incontinence.
My question is, would you choose quality of life for however long is left, or go for surgery and have quantity, albeit not the life you are used to living today?
Regardless of any answers given here, I have made my mind up, so you would not influence my decision either way, I just wondered how you would handle the situation.
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 weeks ago and had surgery last Friday. I guess the only person that can make the decision is you but personally I would go for surgery, the post surgery symptoms you looked up may not happen in your case everyone is different. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope whatever decision you make works out for you. Would love to hear how you get on...big hugs xx"
Thank you for your message and I am so sorry to hear about your situation.
I really hope you go on to make a full recovery.
I have to make a decision by mid December, so I will update this thread then.
Look after yourself
Steve
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mean - there’s too many ‘if’s’ and something like that you’d have to consider every possible ‘if’s’
Firstly family, Not just going to impact you.
Secondly, how do you feel. What do you want.
I wish you a speedy recovery - but something like that has so(too) many if’s for me to comment on.
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My father and father-in-law both had prostate cancer. My father opted for a surgery, and although he was one of a small percentage who did suffer with urinary incontinence (and presumably impotence, although we never discussed it), he was very pleased with the result, and that the cancer was gone for good. He was adamant that he had made the right choice.
My father in law opted for chemo and radio therapy and it really did him in. He lost a huge amount of weight, it made him sick and listless and went on for ages, as well as disrupting his life during the treatment. The end result was positive,!but given the choice I’d definitely opt for surgery. The chances of complications are slim but real, but the quality of life seems to be so much h better.
Hope that helps, and all the very best of luck. |
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"My father and father-in-law both had prostate cancer. My father opted for a surgery, and although he was one of a small percentage who did suffer with urinary incontinence (and presumably impotence, although we never discussed it), he was very pleased with the result, and that the cancer was gone for good. He was adamant that he had made the right choice.
Interesting information, thank you
Steve
My father in law opted for chemo and radio therapy and it really did him in. He lost a huge amount of weight, it made him sick and listless and went on for ages, as well as disrupting his life during the treatment. The end result was positive,!but given the choice I’d definitely opt for surgery. The chances of complications are slim but real, but the quality of life seems to be so much h better.
Hope that helps, and all the very best of luck. "
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"I mean - there’s too many ‘if’s’ and something like that you’d have to consider every possible ‘if’s’
Firstly family, Not just going to impact you.
Secondly, how do you feel. What do you want.
I wish you a speedy recovery - but something like that has so(too) many if’s for me to comment on.
"
That really is the big issue here, I have no family. Any decision has to be mine and mine alone, right or wrong...
I do appreciate your response though, thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for the surgery.
I had stage 1 breast cancer. Diagnosed at 40. Massive shock. Had a single mastectomy and reconstruction. I was very matter of fact about it. Needs must.
A friend of mine had PC too. He now has a valve in. Its not plain sailing at all but he has a great life albeit modified a bit.
Good luck. Being told you have cancer is a huge shock xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean - there’s too many ‘if’s’ and something like that you’d have to consider every possible ‘if’s’
Firstly family, Not just going to impact you.
Secondly, how do you feel. What do you want.
I wish you a speedy recovery - but something like that has so(too) many if’s for me to comment on.
That really is the big issue here, I have no family. Any decision has to be mine and mine alone, right or wrong...
I do appreciate your response though, thank you."
Then personally - I’d advise the surgery. I’ve seen my father go through chemo. A man that was once a powerful man - brought down to nothing, can’t even eat by himself.
He’s perfectly fine now. But it was a tough tough time! I’d hate to go through the chemo & all without a strong support network around. |
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