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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch "
I think most of us have been there after a tough time which you've clearly had. Are you not finding anyone you want to meet or do you just not feel ready to meet the ones you do? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch
I think most of us have been there after a tough time which you've clearly had. Are you not finding anyone you want to meet or do you just not feel ready to meet the ones you do? "
Finding people I want to. Just dont feel quite ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch
I think most of us have been there after a tough time which you've clearly had. Are you not finding anyone you want to meet or do you just not feel ready to meet the ones you do?
Finding people I want to. Just dont feel quite ready "
That's really natural. But you will, it'll take time but you'll get there x |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch
I think most of us have been there after a tough time which you've clearly had. Are you not finding anyone you want to meet or do you just not feel ready to meet the ones you do?
Finding people I want to. Just dont feel quite ready "
Then, don't push yourself till you feel you're comfortable to do so.
Grief after a loss within the family can affect all in many different ways.
It might be an idea to seek some help away from those around you, someone more independent.
Speak to your GP perhaps or contact CRUSE, who offer bereavement counselling and have a good reputation in helping people to cope & get themselves back on their feet. |
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As above just take a break no meets ,keep in touch on the forums etc as you will get support there ,but if its not enough maybe talk to your doctor ,it WILL pass ,been there and i promise it will ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your super fit OP and confidence on here is a massive thing. Posting this is a big step, just take your time no need to rush xx lots of good people on here if you just need to chat. |
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"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch
I think most of us have been there after a tough time which you've clearly had. Are you not finding anyone you want to meet or do you just not feel ready to meet the ones you do?
Finding people I want to. Just dont feel quite ready "
I experienced this over summer. I stuck with meeting old playmates that I’ve known since I joined, rather than fresh flesh. It worked for me as I got to have lots of fun without the pressure of a new partner. |
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"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch "
I would say, take time to try and meet people you click with kn here first before thinkkng about meets, the meets will follow if the people you speak to are right, and also, the right people won't ever make you feel pressured into situations your not comfertable with, I myself suffer with depression and anxiety and when it ckmes to meeting new people I freak for like 5 mins before, but I just look at the chats I've had previously with that person and reaoise, we get along really well and they are super nice, I think nerves and things like that are natural when meeting new people, especially online, but from what I see, especially in forums the people here are so nice and genuine, I would say wait untill you speak to the right people and dont think about meets untill that person shows, you will know they are right because you will instinctivly want to meet them |
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"Just wondering if anyone.else has experienced this, earlier in the year I was getting decent meets fairly regularly. Since a family bereavement and the summer holidays and real life seriously getting in the way I seem to have lost all confidence. I still very much want to meet but just cant get the first one out of the way. It almost feels like starting again from scratch "
I get ya.
Going through some issues this year, the MentalPause has not been kind to me, physically & mentally.
I don't like what I see in the mirror, confidence hit total rock bottom.
Couldn't face meeting anyone, even people I already knew let anyone new.
Felt like I'd just started to get my head together, then got knocked sideways.
Burying one of my best friends tomorrow.
Mojo on the floor again.
I have no advice, I wish I did 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Feeling the same right now. Dont want to meet till im good and ready and as for confidence....non existant when normally im super confident."
Pleased it's not just me. I'd built up my confidence meeting people but that's all gone and I dont know how to get it back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hear you, OP. My confidence is still very much fluctuating after I broke my knee, badly, in September 2018. I am fine with my FWB, and with my partner when it's just the two of us. But I do get overwhelmed in clubs sometimes, when I start comparing myself, with ugly scars on my leg, to all other, seemingly highly confident, women there.
I have not met any of the people I used to meet before my injury (apart from my FWB but he was there for me through thick and thin) as I feel they may not like the 'new me', the scars, the still somewhat limited mobility. Only just yesterday I met for a social someone who I have been chatting for just over a year, who kept me sane during my hospital stay via messages on here. I was tempted to cancel, but in the end was glad I didn't. Hopefully it's a sign that my confidence is coming back, but it may as well have been just a fluke.
I'm sure you'll get there, OP, just don't try to push yourself too hard. Good luck . |
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