FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No strings? Right?
No strings? Right?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Those questions you quote are asked of me all the time. It’s interesting that you interpret them in the way you do. I always viewed them in one of two ways: Either
A) A way of opening a conversation. Akin to being asked “did you have a good weekend?” by a work colleague; or
B) An enticement to describe the filthy shenanigans you’ve been up to as a sort of cheap thrill.
In honesty, I’ve no idea why guys ask such questions, but it might be one of these reasons. As you’re doing now, don’t answer any question you’re not comfortable with. It’s no one else’s business what you get up to. I often respond by turning the question around and asking them those questions. It either opens or stops a conversation. If it’s the latter, I know they were not worth bothering with.
Anna |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get those and don't think about it really at all, just reply "does it really matter?" And leave it at that ... their reply has always been either nothing or no I suppose it doesn't  I've chosen not to over think fab in anyway at all, it's just here for my amusement as, when and how I want it to be! |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
Get asked all the time, especially by new meets. I added it into my profile that its non of anyones business so I simply reply "answers on my profile" and leave it like that. If they can't leave it then I normally end up blocking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks so much for all your responses, I really wanted to see how other people viewed this. I've considered it's a wanking material thing and I see how it's an attempt to start a conversation which you can of course decline. Thanks again all, massively helpful  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get asked all the time, especially by new meets. I added it into my profile that its non of anyones business so I simply reply "answers on my profile" and leave it like that. If they can't leave it then I normally end up blocking."
Your profile is a work of art. I chuckled in recognition all the way through it. You have a wicked turn of phrase |
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I have a couple of fab friends who I each meet with perhaps once every 3 weeks or so, and we’ll often ask each other about meets and socials we’ve had since last seeing each other. We like to swap antidotes and advice and enjoy hearing about each other’s exploits. It’s nice that we can do so in a nonjudgmental and friendly way, and hope hope that we’re all having fun with other people. I also chat with some other women before meeting them (once I’ve gauged that it’s right to do so) about the other meets that they have or had had, and they usually feel fine sharing that information as do I. I’d never push, but most are happy to chat about their lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks "
ahhh but we're not all the same    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a couple of fab friends who I each meet with perhaps once every 3 weeks or so, and we’ll often ask each other about meets and socials we’ve had since last seeing each other. We like to swap antidotes and advice and enjoy hearing about each other’s exploits. It’s nice that we can do so in a nonjudgmental and friendly way, and hope hope that we’re all having fun with other people. I also chat with some other women before meeting them (once I’ve gauged that it’s right to do so) about the other meets that they have or had had, and they usually feel fine sharing that information as do I. I’d never push, but most are happy to chat about their lifestyle. "
Exactly |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"Get asked all the time, especially by new meets. I added it into my profile that its non of anyones business so I simply reply "answers on my profile" and leave it like that. If they can't leave it then I normally end up blocking.
Your profile is a work of art. I chuckled in recognition all the way through it. You have a wicked turn of phrase "
Hahahaha thank you very much. My profile is a byproduct of the same old same old non stop |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get asked all the time, especially by new meets. I added it into my profile that its non of anyones business so I simply reply "answers on my profile" and leave it like that. If they can't leave it then I normally end up blocking.
Your profile is a work of art. I chuckled in recognition all the way through it. You have a wicked turn of phrase
Hahahaha thank you very much. My profile is a byproduct of the same old same old non stop"
I could see that there was so much in there that I'm way more familiar with than I'd like to be |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"Get asked all the time, especially by new meets. I added it into my profile that its non of anyones business so I simply reply "answers on my profile" and leave it like that. If they can't leave it then I normally end up blocking.
Your profile is a work of art. I chuckled in recognition all the way through it. You have a wicked turn of phrase
Hahahaha thank you very much. My profile is a byproduct of the same old same old non stop
I could see that there was so much in there that I'm way more familiar with than I'd like to be "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a couple of fab friends who I each meet with perhaps once every 3 weeks or so, and we’ll often ask each other about meets and socials we’ve had since last seeing each other. We like to swap antidotes and advice and enjoy hearing about each other’s exploits. It’s nice that we can do so in a nonjudgmental and friendly way, and hope hope that we’re all having fun with other people. I also chat with some other women before meeting them (once I’ve gauged that it’s right to do so) about the other meets that they have or had had, and they usually feel fine sharing that information as do I. I’d never push, but most are happy to chat about their lifestyle.
Exactly"
That's totally cool, I get the sharing thing and it's great that you feel comfortable and enjoy it. I truly did want opinions, I did wonder if this was my problem, I didn't just want anything confirmed. Its really helpful hearing how others view it |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't really see it as strings - I'd agree with the poster above, it's either a conversation starter or wank material searching (if by a new person). It's not something I feel comfortable sharing so don't and I try and change the topic to something else or end it. I do know some people like that sort of chat but it's not for me. |
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Yep, get asked a lot.
There's only one guy I've spoken to on here where I felt it had an undertone of possessiveness, and I politely explained my position. When he continued messaging in a similar way I just blocked, life is too short to be dealing with that shit.
The rest of the time it's either a conversation starter, a cheap thrill or a way to move the conversation round to them and the amazing last meet they had that they want to brag about
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep, get asked a lot.
There's only one guy I've spoken to on here where I felt it had an undertone of possessiveness, and I politely explained my position. When he continued messaging in a similar way I just blocked, life is too short to be dealing with that shit.
The rest of the time it's either a conversation starter, a cheap thrill or a way to move the conversation round to them and the amazing last meet they had that they want to brag about
"
Maybe it is just me then cos I don't wanna tell people what I've done or hear what they've done. If people find it a turn on that's great but I find it the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, get asked a lot.
There's only one guy I've spoken to on here where I felt it had an undertone of possessiveness, and I politely explained my position. When he continued messaging in a similar way I just blocked, life is too short to be dealing with that shit.
The rest of the time it's either a conversation starter, a cheap thrill or a way to move the conversation round to them and the amazing last meet they had that they want to brag about
Maybe it is just me then cos I don't wanna tell people what I've done or hear what they've done. If people find it a turn on that's great but I find it the opposite. "
im with you on that |
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"Maybe it is just me then cos I don't wanna tell people what I've done or hear what they've done. If people find it a turn on that's great but I find it the opposite. im with you on that "
I totally get that, and when I share this information it’s very rarely explicit, and certainly not done for a turn on. One of my friends recently commented how nice it was to share, because she doesn’t get to talk to many people about her lifestyle, and none of her vanilla friends would understand. We also talk about our families, work and who won bake-off. It’s what being friends (with benefits) is all about. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I've been asked these kinds of questions a fair few times, I can't remember ever thinking it was about removing the no strings aspect. People are nosey, they like to know things, I just see it as that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe it is just me then cos I don't wanna tell people what I've done or hear what they've done. If people find it a turn on that's great but I find it the opposite. im with you on that
I totally get that, and when I share this information it’s very rarely explicit, and certainly not done for a turn on. One of my friends recently commented how nice it was to share, because she doesn’t get to talk to many people about her lifestyle, and none of her vanilla friends would understand. We also talk about our families, work and who won bake-off. It’s what being friends (with benefits) is all about. "
With my actual established fwbs they tend not to ask and I don't mind so much cos they're in my life. And we talk about all sorts of stuff. Fwbs are very awesome things to have. It was how I spent my twenties and I thrived on it. But I do see them as actual friends, people I care for. I'm glad yours make you happy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been asked these kinds of questions a fair few times, I can't remember ever thinking it was about removing the no strings aspect. People are nosey, they like to know things, I just see it as that. "
The more I think about it the more I think you're right. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I've been asked these kinds of questions a fair few times, I can't remember ever thinking it was about removing the no strings aspect. People are nosey, they like to know things, I just see it as that.
The more I think about it the more I think you're right. "
One guy asked me if the guy I'm meeting that week was better looking than him 
I told him it was a silly question and he backtracked and said he was just joking. |
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We get asked this and no doubt I’ve asked the question too to my fab friends. Personally I find it fun swapping anecdotes and catching up with everyone. You can’t have the same fun conversations with your vanilla friends. It also totally depends on how well we know that person as to how much detail to go into. Often it’s just a conversation starter. |
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"We get asked this and no doubt I’ve asked the question too to my fab friends. Personally I find it fun swapping anecdotes and catching up with everyone. You can’t have the same fun conversations with your vanilla friends. It also totally depends on how well we know that person as to how much detail to go into. Often it’s just a conversation starter. "
Exactly. A catch up. |
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"Remember that a lot of guys like the idea of a woman that is absolute filth, a real Martini, do anything, slut.
The catch is she must only be like that with THEM.
"
Lol Martini.....got me singing 'anytime, and place anywhere' ....trouble is I'm sat in Asda cafe |
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We do tend to ask other people, particularly if we are meeting them for the first time, which clubs they’ve been to, if it’s getting flirty then what do they like... good and bad experiences... cos, well, it’s interesting.
I (Mr) would happily natter about golf all evening but suspect that may be a bit dull for some. |
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Yup happens often and often I find some guys dont like my replies. I had a social with a guy last week who was new(no veries) who was totally flabbergasted when I told him that yes I do meet folk on here,yes I do have sex with them and yes I have been to swingers clubs. He left the site the very next day!!! |
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As a guy, I ask those questions to gauge whether who I am speaking too is interested in meeting or just having a look. Ive been on over a year now and I struggle to find women who want to hook up.
If I turn round and send hey, want to meet up tonight.. a lot of the time the msg is deleted so I do try a different tact, be friendly, find out a little bit about them then get to the serious stuff.. when can we meet lol
Saying that, if interested, do msg me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a guy, I ask those questions to gauge whether who I am speaking too is interested in meeting or just having a look. Ive been on over a year now and I struggle to find women who want to hook up.
If I turn round and send hey, want to meet up tonight.. a lot of the time the msg is deleted so I do try a different tact, be friendly, find out a little bit about them then get to the serious stuff.. when can we meet lol
Saying that, if interested, do msg me "
Thing is women know when someone is interested in them or simply interested in what they can get out of them. Or as you call it "the serious stuff". If you're only interested in the sex and not the woman then she'll know and it feels pretty crap because you know anyone would do. This is just a website and we're just normal women. |
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"have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?". I've had these questions or words to that effect fired at me before with a few women I've talked to on here. I didn't really read too much into it, I just assume people like to be nosey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get asked all the time, especially by new meets. I added it into my profile that its non of anyones business so I simply reply "answers on my profile" and leave it like that. If they can't leave it then I normally end up blocking."
Your profile is absolutely fantastic I thought mine was arsey but you done it with class.. Might need to change mine... |
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Really funny clip on Facebook with Jimmy Carr when he finds out the heckler is a fuck buddy. So funny.
'So you've convinced this woman that she's not worth of a proper relationship, that you can both fuck around, but as long as it's only me, and when I want!!!!' |
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"Really funny clip on Facebook with Jimmy Carr when he finds out the heckler is a fuck buddy. So funny.
'So you've convinced this woman that she's not worth of a proper relationship, that you can both fuck around, but as long as it's only me, and when I want!!!!' "
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Really funny clip on Facebook with Jimmy Carr when he finds out the heckler is a fuck buddy. So funny.
'So you've convinced this woman that she's not worth of a proper relationship, that you can both fuck around, but as long as it's only me, and when I want!!!!' "
I've actually had a couple of guys like that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's making conversation and then theres the snipey "I can see you've been busy"!
Feck right off "
I got that EXACT line on Saturday night from someone I've been talking to and planning to meet. I'm no longer doing either of those things.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it is just me then cos I don't wanna tell people what I've done or hear what they've done. If people find it a turn on that's great but I find it the opposite. im with you on that
I totally get that, and when I share this information it’s very rarely explicit, and certainly not done for a turn on. One of my friends recently commented how nice it was to share, because she doesn’t get to talk to many people about her lifestyle, and none of her vanilla friends would understand. We also talk about our families, work and who won bake-off. It’s what being friends (with benefits) is all about. "
It's totally different in a friendship scenario rather than in a random message from a stranger though. |
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks "
As conversation starters they are much better than fancy a fuck.
How was your weekend or have you got anything planned, are the kind of conversation starters used in work. Or we might use them in a club setting, alongside have you been before and what other clubs have you tried.
We are the very definition of nsa as we only meet a handful of times a year.
But other than talking about the weather we have to open up a conversation with something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Truth is that most Guys on these sites find it difficult to start up a conversation, socially awkward.
Talking about meets and how you have met is more in a struggling way to strike up a conversation. They're on here, you're on here it is common ground. It is easier to open a conversation with the same sex than opposites as there is common ground.
If guy started to open a conversation talking about football, cars or fishing etc. Probably a short conversation.
It is just them trying to awkwardly trying find common ground. FAB, meeting swinging is it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s called trying to engage you in conversation. How else are they supposed to do that if they don’t ask you a question. You are thinking far too much into it. "
So that's the only question they can ask? Or is it the only one worth asking? I'm afraid I don't want to talk to someone who can't think of anything to ask except when did you last have sex. I'm a woman, not an opportunity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s called trying to engage you in conversation. How else are they supposed to do that if they don’t ask you a question. You are thinking far too much into it.
So that's the only question they can ask? Or is it the only one worth asking? I'm afraid I don't want to talk to someone who can't think of anything to ask except when did you last have sex. I'm a woman, not an opportunity. "
For a lot of people it is the only thing they can think of, not saying it's great or particularly eloquent.
How would people like to start a conversation? There are guys on here who are better at engaging in conversation with women, is the through trial and error? or just natural (gift of the gab) also helps if they are hot also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been chatting to a lady about a week, all going well and suggested meeting for coffee. Then out of blue she asks if I'm 'fucking' someone else. (She's just returned from a weekend if fun). I say yes I see someone now and again. My message is read and all our messages deleted. I messaged asking it seems to be an issue. It's deleted and then I'm blocked.
Is this not an nsa/swing/sex site? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive been chatting to a lady about a week, all going well and suggested meeting for coffee. Then out of blue she asks if I'm 'fucking' someone else. (She's just returned from a weekend if fun). I say yes I see someone now and again. My message is read and all our messages deleted. I messaged asking it seems to be an issue. It's deleted and then I'm blocked.
Is this not an nsa/swing/sex site?"
Yep, this is what I'm talking about. I'd never dream of asking someone that and I'm fucking sick of being asked. And if you can't start a conversation any other way then... Well I talk to people in their forties and fifties. We're not talking about nervous young men here. If you don't know how to approach a woman you don't know then I'm not for you. I can't be bothered teaching a middle aged man how to conduct a basic interaction with a woman  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been chatting to a lady about a week, all going well and suggested meeting for coffee. Then out of blue she asks if I'm 'fucking' someone else. (She's just returned from a weekend if fun). I say yes I see someone now and again. My message is read and all our messages deleted. I messaged asking it seems to be an issue. It's deleted and then I'm blocked.
Is this not an nsa/swing/sex site?
Yep, this is what I'm talking about. I'd never dream of asking someone that and I'm fucking sick of being asked. And if you can't start a conversation any other way then... Well I talk to people in their forties and fifties. We're not talking about nervous young men here. If you don't know how to approach a woman you don't know then I'm not for you. I can't be bothered teaching a middle-aged man how to conduct a basic interaction with a woman "
I've found quite a few women on here don't like it if one is seeing someone else either. They do like to feel they are having exclusive access or no longer interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive been chatting to a lady about a week, all going well and suggested meeting for coffee. Then out of blue she asks if I'm 'fucking' someone else. (She's just returned from a weekend if fun). I say yes I see someone now and again. My message is read and all our messages deleted. I messaged asking it seems to be an issue. It's deleted and then I'm blocked.
Is this not an nsa/swing/sex site?
Yep, this is what I'm talking about. I'd never dream of asking someone that and I'm fucking sick of being asked. And if you can't start a conversation any other way then... Well I talk to people in their forties and fifties. We're not talking about nervous young men here. If you don't know how to approach a woman you don't know then I'm not for you. I can't be bothered teaching a middle-aged man how to conduct a basic interaction with a woman
I've found quite a few women on here don't like it if one is seeing someone else either. They do like to feel they are having exclusive access or no longer interested."
I genuinely never ask, I'm not even interested. If a fwb tells me they've had a great time with someone I'm pleased but I don't ever ask and never want details. If you decide no strings isn't what you thought it was then fair enough but that's on you, don't make it my problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, get asked a lot.
There's only one guy I've spoken to on here where I felt it had an undertone of possessiveness, and I politely explained my position. When he continued messaging in a similar way I just blocked, life is too short to be dealing with that shit.
The rest of the time it's either a conversation starter, a cheap thrill or a way to move the conversation round to them and the amazing last meet they had that they want to brag about
"
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By *ongarMan
over a year ago
maidstone / Tunbridge Wells |
People are scared of strings on here but not scared of ropes......, kaboom tskkk
I think we should always give a certain amount of aftercare, some of the stuff we do is intense and leaving someone on a massive high can put them in a bit of a depressive state afterwards, classic psychology.
Rest of it is all bull |
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"Those questions you quote are asked of me all the time. It’s interesting that you interpret them in the way you do. I always viewed them in one of two ways: Either
A) A way of opening a conversation. Akin to being asked “did you have a good weekend?” by a work colleague; or
B) An enticement to describe the filthy shenanigans you’ve been up to as a sort of cheap thrill.
In honesty, I’ve no idea why guys ask such questions, but it might be one of these reasons. As you’re doing now, don’t answer any question you’re not comfortable with. It’s no one else’s business what you get up to. I often respond by turning the question around and asking them those questions. It either opens or stops a conversation. If it’s the latter, I know they were not worth bothering with.
Anna "
This but also...
C) An ill thought means of trying to gauge if you are up for a meet (e.g if you have met loads of people, you are more likely to meet them). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d probably ask that just as a conversation piece; I wouldn’t care if you’d met two or two hundred off here, or be bothered about what you did with them.
It’s merely a factor we have in common so might be a good way to get the communication flowing if we hadn’t done so via another topic.
I wouldn’t see it as a ‘string’; that’s some form of commitment or promise, not just showing an interest in the person you’re with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been chatting to a lady about a week, all going well and suggested meeting for coffee. Then out of blue she asks if I'm 'fucking' someone else. (She's just returned from a weekend if fun). I say yes I see someone now and again. My message is read and all our messages deleted. I messaged asking it seems to be an issue. It's deleted and then I'm blocked.
Is this not an nsa/swing/sex site?
Yep, this is what I'm talking about. I'd never dream of asking someone that and I'm fucking sick of being asked. And if you can't start a conversation any other way then... Well I talk to people in their forties and fifties. We're not talking about nervous young men here. If you don't know how to approach a woman you don't know then I'm not for you. I can't be bothered teaching a middle-aged man how to conduct a basic interaction with a woman
I've found quite a few women on here don't like it if one is seeing someone else either. They do like to feel they are having exclusive access or no longer interested."
and men don't, you know what the secret to all this is don't you? |
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"I'm reminded of Peter Kay talking to the taxi driver.
"Been busy? What time are you on till?"
That’s the one. Can’t help but ask every taxi driver these questions "
Drives my hubby nuts being asked those questions EVERYDAY ,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single (not solo) women come on this site and others looking for more than a one-off.
Where as most guys are coming on these sites are just looking for quick easy sex, that's why there is a disparity or disproportion males to females.
A lot of the guys on here will be in a relationship of some kind despite what they say. If is funny how many guys mention gf in forums, guess guys they don't consider that a relationship, attached or serious in their minds.
In all seriousness they want to meet for sex only they already have someone to cook, wash and clean for them lol not looking to replace that, hence NSA.
This also goes for a proportion of females here, not exclusively male thing but proportionally it is.
Let's be honest if guys were looking for long term relationships they wouldn't be here.
Further the OP post is we are still in nature animals and males want, their pride, their pack, harem/zenana, "shrewdness" and exclusive to them, it is in their geno. Monogamy is a human social/religious doctrine, well technically it is a male doctrine to control.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
In all seriousness they want to meet for sex only they already have someone to cook, wash and clean for them lol not looking to replace that, hence NSA.
Further the OP post is we are still in nature animals and males want, their pride, their pack, harem/zenana, "shrewdness" and exclusive to them, it is in their geno. Monogamy is a human social/religious doctrine, well technically it is a male doctrine to control.
"
That's fine, that's what I want. I've GOT someone to cook and clean for. I'm not pressing anyone's trousers whether they've been on my bedroom floor or not. Maybe it just bothers me cos I never think to ask, dunno. I just wish people wouldn't do it. |
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"I’d probably ask that just as a conversation piece; I wouldn’t care if you’d met two or two hundred off here, or be bothered about what you did with them
I wouldn’t see it as a ‘string’; that’s some form of commitment or promise, not just showing an interest in the person you’re with. "
This. I tend not to ask directly about meets, but usually ask how they find the site and might occasionally add ‘had much luck?’. The first question is handy for giving me a sense of where they’re at with the site, their journey and how they feel about this place- when people reply with a whinge the conversation usually ends there. And the second question gives me an idea of how active they are and whether they might be likely to meet me.
If someone viewed the question as a ‘string’ and got all aggro, the chat would end there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’d probably ask that just as a conversation piece; I wouldn’t care if you’d met two or two hundred off here, or be bothered about what you did with them
I wouldn’t see it as a ‘string’; that’s some form of commitment or promise, not just showing an interest in the person you’re with.
This. I tend not to ask directly about meets, but usually ask how they find the site and might occasionally add ‘had much luck?’. The first question is handy for giving me a sense of where they’re at with the site, their journey and how they feel about this place- when people reply with a whinge the conversation usually ends there. And the second question gives me an idea of how active they are and whether they might be likely to meet me.
If someone viewed the question as a ‘string’ and got all aggro, the chat would end there "
I see where you're coming from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks "
All the time and some guys push to know why us girls take breaks. Cause no strings for them is fuck n go type and have no respect nor manners... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks "
Yes, very much double standards.
They want no strings sex, don't want to commit, yet somehow expect exclusivity. The other one I get is that I'm a wh*re for sleeping with loads of men, even though this is a swinging site.
The truth of the matter is that most men are thick as a brick. Once you realise that, everything will make sense.
Repeat after me :
"Men are thick as a brick and only think with their cocks"
And again :
"Men are thick as a brick and only think with their cocks"
OK? Got it?
Now that you have got it, you will never be surprised or disappointed again. Keep expectations low.
You're welcome x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not keen on profiles that declare it's strictly no strings
Makes me think they're really only wanting to fuck, then fuck off
"
Someone else who thinks that nsa means fuck then go type
Cold meaningless sex as no guarantee their sex is going to be awesome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks
Yes, very much double standards.
They want no strings sex, don't want to commit, yet somehow expect exclusivity. The other one I get is that I'm a wh*re for sleeping with loads of men, even though this is a swinging site.
The truth of the matter is that most men are thick as a brick. Once you realise that, everything will make sense.
Repeat after me :
"Men are thick as a brick and only think with their cocks"
And again :
"Men are thick as a brick and only think with their cocks"
OK? Got it?
Now that you have got it, you will never be surprised or disappointed again. Keep expectations low.
You're welcome x "
Giggle, I can see your advice is well meant and I appreciate it I manage my expectations but I do frequently find men that meet them. However the plethora of men who send me messages that are the text equivalent of a good, long, grotty ball scratch is a good explanation for your viewpoint. I like your moxy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks
Yes, very much double standards.
They want no strings sex, don't want to commit, yet somehow expect exclusivity. The other one I get is that I'm a wh*re for sleeping with loads of men, even though this is a swinging site.
The truth of the matter is that most men are thick as a brick. Once you realise that, everything will make sense.
Repeat after me :
"Men are thick as a brick and only think with their cocks"
And again :
"Men are thick as a brick and only think with their cocks"
OK? Got it?
Now that you have got it, you will never be surprised or disappointed again. Keep expectations low.
You're welcome x "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much every single male profile I read and respond to says they are looking for NSA. No strings, no relationship, fun only, not looking to get involved blah blah blah. Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything past friendship, it suits me fine. I respect people's choices and not once in all my time on fab have I EVER asked a man about who else he plays with. There's no strings, right? It's not my business.
So WHY do they keep asking me? Why do I get "have you met many here?" "Any fun planned?" "any meets this week?" Why?? You said you wanted NO STRINGS. So that means no strings for me TOO. Its almost like they think they'll get a horny girlfriend they don't have to make any effort for. It's always happened and I've tried ignoring it or brushing it off with "why do you ask?" in the hope they'll see I'm uncomfortable. Now I've kind of had enough and have started saying, albeit gently, sorry but you don't get to ask me that. You wanted no strings and you've got it.
I'd love to know if other women get this and if it bothers them and I'm keen to hear opinions on why this happens. It's not a massive thing but it's starting to bug me. Thanks in advance, folks "
Whenever I've asked, it's merely to keep the conversation flowing - things can go stale quickly on here. It can also be used to gauge whether they're actually interested in a meet or not. Which I would usually be all to happy to step forward for |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
It can also be used to gauge whether they're actually interested in a meet or not. Which I would usually be all to happy to step forward for "
That's good to know in that a bloke who thinks I'm more likely to meet him simply because I've met other men here is very likely not someone I'm going to click with. I get that it demonstrates I do meet and am not here for any other reason. But I've got four verifications showing. If that's your motive for asking then it's a redundant question. You already KNOW I've met men from here. Why ask? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It can also be used to gauge whether they're actually interested in a meet or not. Which I would usually be all to happy to step forward for
That's good to know in that a bloke who thinks I'm more likely to meet him simply because I've met other men here is very likely not someone I'm going to click with. I get that it demonstrates I do meet and am not here for any other reason. But I've got four verifications showing. If that's your motive for asking then it's a redundant question. You already KNOW I've met men from here. Why ask? "
I feel that you're taking my comment rather in the wrong way. We are generally ALL here to meet people, so have no idea why you would take a negative approach to it. It is used as a buffer for conversation, as we have discovered here, so much gets taken out of context, or offends people - so it's generally something to keep the conversation going, that one wouldn't expect to be taken as offensive.
Let us get from yourself the type of conversation in which you would prefer? The majority of men on here may speak with women for months, they then go cold and nothing comes from it. They may say something sexually positive in relation to a nude image sent to them, yet the woman gets offended that they're being sexually explicit, yet gets bored when sex isn't mentioned. It's literally a case of attempting to not walk on egg shells on here at times. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No I did acknowledge your point, I'm sorry if it came across as negative. And I dispute that we're all here to meet. In my six years or so here as a couple and a single I've concluded there aren't that many people here who genuinely want to meet. I think many are here for other reasons and that's fine.
Your question is valid and I'm happy to answer. I've realised the most successful, longlasting encounters here for me have followed a similar pattern. We've connected, talked on the phone, sometimes at length but not discussed anything sexual including my other encounters on fab. We've met, kissed and it's gone from there and at times it's been unforgettable. It's not about walking on eggshells. These are the men I connect with because they want the same things as me. I accept that asking is sometimes not anything to do with strings. I realise it can be about other things. I'm as grateful for your viewpoint as everyone else's, thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I normally just say, "the usual stuff" when they ask me, I leave it at that. None of their business what I do on here tbh. "
I've tried this one and it can work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I did acknowledge your point, I'm sorry if it came across as negative. And I dispute that we're all here to meet. In my six years or so here as a couple and a single I've concluded there aren't that many people here who genuinely want to meet. I think many are here for other reasons and that's fine.
Your question is valid and I'm happy to answer. I've realised the most successful, longlasting encounters here for me have followed a similar pattern. We've connected, talked on the phone, sometimes at length but not discussed anything sexual including my other encounters on fab. We've met, kissed and it's gone from there and at times it's been unforgettable. It's not about walking on eggshells. These are the men I connect with because they want the same things as me. I accept that asking is sometimes not anything to do with strings. I realise it can be about other things. I'm as grateful for your viewpoint as everyone else's, thank you. "
Apologies, I have had a beer - and I'm a lightweight  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn’t class being asked what you’re up to as being ‘strings‘I don’t think. If I was asked to change my plans in deference to the asker, that would be strings for me. "
I agree that's just people making conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it is just me then cos I don't wanna tell people what I've done or hear what they've done. If people find it a turn on that's great but I find it the opposite. "
no its not just you im the same i tell no one about my meets and when they ask i tell them thats for me to know only ...the problem with guys talking is that quite often the guys mate will try his luck by saying oh you met my mate hes put me your way ... then i find out from the guy that he knows everything about our meet thats not clever thats not discrete so i think to my self who else are they shouting there mouth off too so end up not meeting them again and block |
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Cheap thrills
