I'm looking into club scene, quest specifically, is it something people would recommend? As I know I could get quite nervous if I was to go alone, but are the people welcoming? I've only heard good things but you never know! And if there are any single guys that go and can give me an insight into there experiences, it would be gr |
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Hiya
I get asked regularly what clubs are like. Here’s what I send back (it’s a cut-and-paste but I hope it’s useful)... good luck. X
Clubs can be fun but you need to be determined to go about half a dozen times before you give up. If you go and you’re smiley and friendly and chatty (to men and women), people will get used to you and start to include you. Just like your local pub.
I would suggest a club with a hot tub. It's a great place to hang out. You can start conversations with the others (confident men in clubs chat to both men and women) and not seem like you're loitering. You'll get used to being naked around other people. Vanilla Alternative and Jaydees have great hot tubs.The Annex doesn't have a hot tub but it's a nice venue.
Remember to treat women as you would in a pub - be polite, don't crowd them, flirt lightly. If things are going well, you can say something like "I'd love to play with you". If she says no, keep chatting. She might become a friend and introduce you to others.
Don’t touch women as a way of asking whether it's okay to touch them. I've been touched fairly intimately without being asked and it's not ok. You might think that you're seeing guys do that but it's likely you're seeing men who the women already know. A friend of mine might walk in to the hot tub and put his arm around me without exchanging a word. It's because he knows me very, very well.
Lots of clubs do newbie nights.
I’m asked a lot “WILL YOU TAKE ME TO A CLUB?”
Taking a newbie to a club is a little like taking a newbie skiing. They’re generally terrified, need constant companionship and are too nervous to fully participate. You can find yourself stuck on the nursery slopes when you’d rather by flying down the faster runs!
I know you’re nervous. EVERYONE is scared the first time they go. Your fear isn’t different to anyone else’s. You need to to push through that, follow this advice, and you’ll be fine. X |
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over a year ago
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"Hiya
I get asked regularly what clubs are like. Here’s what I send back (it’s a cut-and-paste but I hope it’s useful)... good luck. X
Clubs can be fun but you need to be determined to go about half a dozen times before you give up. If you go and you’re smiley and friendly and chatty (to men and women), people will get used to you and start to include you. Just like your local pub.
I would suggest a club with a hot tub. It's a great place to hang out. You can start conversations with the others (confident men in clubs chat to both men and women) and not seem like you're loitering. You'll get used to being naked around other people. Vanilla Alternative and Jaydees have great hot tubs.The Annex doesn't have a hot tub but it's a nice venue.
Remember to treat women as you would in a pub - be polite, don't crowd them, flirt lightly. If things are going well, you can say something like "I'd love to play with you". If she says no, keep chatting. She might become a friend and introduce you to others.
Don’t touch women as a way of asking whether it's okay to touch them. I've been touched fairly intimately without being asked and it's not ok. You might think that you're seeing guys do that but it's likely you're seeing men who the women already know. A friend of mine might walk in to the hot tub and put his arm around me without exchanging a word. It's because he knows me very, very well.
Lots of clubs do newbie nights.
I’m asked a lot “WILL YOU TAKE ME TO A CLUB?”
Taking a newbie to a club is a little like taking a newbie skiing. They’re generally terrified, need constant companionship and are too nervous to fully participate. You can find yourself stuck on the nursery slopes when you’d rather by flying down the faster runs!
I know you’re nervous. EVERYONE is scared the first time they go. Your fear isn’t different to anyone else’s. You need to to push through that, follow this advice, and you’ll be fine. X"
Well that sums it up perfectly. Don’t be the guy starting at the bar thinking it makes him look moody and sexy. Just go talk to people. If conversation isn’t flowing easy yet chatting to more. |
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The only way to find out is to go yourself and try it. What is the worst that can happen?
Clubs can be hitty missy as to who/how many people are there. Just go with the flow, smile and be friendly.
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It’s best to look at a club visit like any other night out - don’t think you’re going to meet someone or even have sex. Just plan to be social and see what happens.
I’ve been to a few clubs as a single guy, some nights I could have been in a regular club, just chatting only. But I never expected more so I always had a good time. |
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Def don’t go expecting any action on the first couple of visits, not saying you won’t get any just don’t be disheartened if you only chat.
Main thing, do not follow couples as soon as they leave the bar area to play. We had this a few times and it’s very off putting. |
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I've never been to Quest myself, so would be interested to hear how you get on?
I have been to several other clubs, and my experiences have ranged from damp squib to dynamite!
MrsTrellis has given great advice, definitely take on board what she has said.
Be prepared for rejection! You won't be everyone's cup of tea, and many people won't be interested in a single guy.
Don't expect people to open conversation with you. My experience in clubs has been that if I don't speak to people, nobody speaks to me. You're just another single guy in the crowd, and easily forgotten.
Single guys CAN have fun in clubs, but there's more to it than simply turning up.
Don't make it a big deal. They're just places you can chill out, relax, and fill an evening, in an alternative way to going on the lash with your mates.
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that's the best possible answer anyone can give you. 