FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Feeling Fed up
Feeling Fed up
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"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. " its not you its the world fab and the swing life | |||
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"There is nothing wrong with you. But it’s like going into Teaco’s shopping and you want a loaf of bread, but instead of it being a simple selection process you are greeted by lots of choice! It’s the same on Fab. So much choice... " I’ll be the seeded multigrain sourdough then ?? | |||
"There is nothing wrong with you. But it’s like going into Teaco’s shopping and you want a loaf of bread, but instead of it being a simple selection process you are greeted by lots of choice! It’s the same on Fab. So much choice... I’ll be the seeded multigrain sourdough then ??" And why does the fab forum turn all my emojis into question marks? | |||
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"There is nothing wrong with you. But it’s like going into Teaco’s shopping and you want a loaf of bread, but instead of it being a simple selection process you are greeted by lots of choice! It’s the same on Fab. So much choice... I’ll be the seeded multigrain sourdough then ??" Good choice. Something you can get your teeth stuck in 
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"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. Nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong with your profile but not what i am looking for. Have faith and confidence in yourself and keep those messages clean. Nobody said Fab was easy but try and stay positive.x " | |||
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"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. I think many of us feel the same as you mate. I had one reply today asking me to tell her about myself, took me ages to do and she read it and just blocked me with zero explanation why. It’s just completely bloody rude, nasty and ignorant. You could have a hundred people give you profile advice and tips and still get it wrong. They all seem to want under 50’s with hot bodies and you do be hung too. Expectations are very high on this site sadly. " | |||
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"Women on here dont seem to be interested. Messages to them are ignored, or read and ignored, or read and deleted. Chances for guys here are very very small. " ....Women on here have a choice if they donna wanna reply they dont! Chances for guys arent small, many women find many men attractive on this site you make it sound like " women should be replying | |||
"Women on here dont seem to be interested. Messages to them are ignored, or read and ignored, or read and deleted. Chances for guys here are very very small. ....Women on here have a choice if they donna wanna reply they dont! Chances for guys arent small, many women find many men attractive on this site you make it sound like " women should be replying " ### DONT WANNA | |||
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"Women on here dont seem to be interested. Messages to them are ignored, or read and ignored, or read and deleted. Chances for guys here are very very small. ....Women on here have a choice if they donna wanna reply they dont! Chances for guys arent small, many women find many men attractive on this site you make it sound like " women should be replying " if they are not interested in you, i expect them to delete your message, so at least you know that theres nothing doing with them. So many read your message, but leave it undeleted. It leaves you not knowing what they will do, which is usually nothing. Surely they dont want their messages to be cluttered up with read messages from people they will never meet? | |||
"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. " Your profile doesn't ooze alot of seduction or confidence. It maybe a case of just choosing the wrong people to chat to... Its like going to a party, you can't expect everyone you meet to get with you like a house on fire. | |||
"There is nothing wrong with you. But it’s like going into Teaco’s shopping and you want a loaf of bread, but instead of it being a simple selection process you are greeted by lots of choice! It’s the same on Fab. So much choice... I’ll be the seeded multigrain sourdough then ??" What happens if you're gluten free and your body can't process carbs that well?   | |||
"Women on here dont seem to be interested. Messages to them are ignored, or read and ignored, or read and deleted. Chances for guys here are very very small. ....Women on here have a choice if they donna wanna reply they dont! Chances for guys arent small, many women find many men attractive on this site you make it sound like " women should be replying if they are not interested in you, i expect them to delete your message, so at least you know that theres nothing doing with them. So many read your message, but leave it undeleted. It leaves you not knowing what they will do, which is usually nothing. Surely they dont want their messages to be cluttered up with read messages from people they will never meet? If you dont recieve a reply take that as a No. Dont overthink with the " maybe they will msg me later etc! Just accept its a no and msg someone else! If by chance u get a reply then thats great! Its fab no one owes anyone anything regardless of " its nice manners to reply" personally i dont reply & i block straight away without any explanation because ive had vile abuse when i used to reply with " hi not for me! Id get the " why not ur a whore etc! So i never reply " | |||
Just be yourself OP, it takes time to find someone, just enjoy the process and learn as you go along  | |||
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"they see a pair of tits and their IQ plummets to 0 " Mine doesn’t plummet - that implies falling from a great height  | |||
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"It looks like you’ve got the idea in your head that because you’re on this site you’re entitled to more interaction from a female counterpart than you would anywhere else in the world. Not like that at all and you’re amongst the masses of men who believe they’re so self entitled women should just sleep with them just because. This site does not guarantee instant sex, people just don’t jump on each other walking down the street do they? This site is no different, low/no effort = no results. Don’t see people going “Wanna fuck?” “Ok” do you? Your profile being “good” doesn’t increase your chances of sex, it’s more of a showcase of who you are and what you’re about. Stop thinking about the sex and think about how you want to be perceived so you cut through the masses of men who come on here and think they’re going to get laid just like that. Part of me says get real, another part of me says you’re confused about the essence of this site. I imagine a lot of guys on this site are absolutely wonderful in their day to day lives, their brain just ceases to function whenever they see a pair of tits and their IQ plummets to 0
Just be yourself OP, it takes time to find someone, just enjoy the process and learn as you go along " well said | |||
"It looks like you’ve got the idea in your head that because you’re on this site you’re entitled to more interaction from a female counterpart than you would anywhere else in the world. Not like that at all and you’re amongst the masses of men who believe they’re so self entitled women should just sleep with them just because. This site does not guarantee instant sex, people just don’t jump on each other walking down the street do they? This site is no different, low/no effort = no results. Don’t see people going “Wanna fuck?” “Ok” do you? Your profile being “good” doesn’t increase your chances of sex, it’s more of a showcase of who you are and what you’re about. Stop thinking about the sex and think about how you want to be perceived so you cut through the masses of men who come on here and think they’re going to get laid just like that. Part of me says get real, another part of me says you’re confused about the essence of this site. I imagine a lot of guys on this site are absolutely wonderful in their day to day lives, their brain just ceases to function whenever they see a pair of tits and their IQ plummets to 0
Just be yourself OP, it takes time to find someone, just enjoy the process and learn as you go along "you dont really enjoy the process when the years pass with nothing doing, despite your best efforts. | |||
"It looks like you’ve got the idea in your head that because you’re on this site you’re entitled to more interaction from a female counterpart than you would anywhere else in the world. Not like that at all and you’re amongst the masses of men who believe they’re so self entitled women should just sleep with them just because. This site does not guarantee instant sex, people just don’t jump on each other walking down the street do they? This site is no different, low/no effort = no results. Don’t see people going “Wanna fuck?” “Ok” do you? Your profile being “good” doesn’t increase your chances of sex, it’s more of a showcase of who you are and what you’re about. Stop thinking about the sex and think about how you want to be perceived so you cut through the masses of men who come on here and think they’re going to get laid just like that. Part of me says get real, another part of me says you’re confused about the essence of this site. I imagine a lot of guys on this site are absolutely wonderful in their day to day lives, their brain just ceases to function whenever they see a pair of tits and their IQ plummets to 0
Just be yourself OP, it takes time to find someone, just enjoy the process and learn as you go along you dont really enjoy the process when the years pass with nothing doing, despite your best efforts. "Same questions: what did you expect and what do you hope to achieve by complaining? Are you usually successful with women outside the lifestyle? If yes, you are doing something right, try to replicate it; if not, did you think this would be easier? | |||
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"The above poster is right. When I had more than one picture in my profile I used to get 100 emails a day. That is too many to read. I delete unread all the one liners. Then I delete unread all the ones showing a dick in their profile. Then I read and delete all the ones that sent me a dick picture in the message or launched into sex talk. (and trust me - some erotic story is not erotic when you get them 39 times a day from guys that sometimes look like serial killers). Then I try and read the rest. Even then though there are too many to reply to and if you do reply then people reply back even if I said 'no thank you' so now I try and reply to the ones that make most effort only. However. A lot of guys make zero effort. Just because I am on this site does NOT entitle you to free sex or indeed anything with me. I realize this sounds pissed off so let me explain why that is. I have had people offer me money twice this week. I have strangers email me every day and give a hotel name and time and ask if I want to fuck. I have had people try to bribe me with shopping or gifts and I have had people say they have a bunch of guys that need sucking am I interested? If I post a new picture I get swamped with a fresh tide of 30 or 40 generic 'want sex' or 'you look hot' or 'I want to eat your pussy' messages. This upsets and annoys me. I am not a prostitute. I am not easy and I am not some freaks sex toy. Men wouldn't treat a woman in a bar this way. Why should online be any different? Show some consideration, or be prepared to get your emails ignored and deleted and feel the cold wind of rejection. " Very well said. | |||
"It looks like you’ve got the idea in your head that because you’re on this site you’re entitled to more interaction from a female counterpart than you would anywhere else in the world. Not like that at all and you’re amongst the masses of men who believe they’re so self entitled women should just sleep with them just because. This site does not guarantee instant sex, people just don’t jump on each other walking down the street do they? This site is no different, low/no effort = no results. Don’t see people going “Wanna fuck?” “Ok” do you? Your profile being “good” doesn’t increase your chances of sex, it’s more of a showcase of who you are and what you’re about. Stop thinking about the sex and think about how you want to be perceived so you cut through the masses of men who come on here and think they’re going to get laid just like that. Part of me says get real, another part of me says you’re confused about the essence of this site. I imagine a lot of guys on this site are absolutely wonderful in their day to day lives, their brain just ceases to function whenever they see a pair of tits and their IQ plummets to 0
Just be yourself OP, it takes time to find someone, just enjoy the process and learn as you go along "Nothing I can add to this. Absolutely spot on | |||
"Guys need to get one thing. This site does not supply women to them. We are users of this site on the exact same terms as men. If the site employed us, your site supporter pass would cost much more than £5! "Absolutely right. It's just simple logic. There's a billion pound sex industry in this country. If you could get sex by simply joining a free website then why would anyone ever pay. | |||
"The above poster is right. When I had more than one picture in my profile I used to get 100 emails a day. That is too many to read. I delete unread all the one liners. Then I delete unread all the ones showing a dick in their profile. Then I read and delete all the ones that sent me a dick picture in the message or launched into sex talk. (and trust me - some erotic story is not erotic when you get them 39 times a day from guys that sometimes look like serial killers). Then I try and read the rest. Even then though there are too many to reply to and if you do reply then people reply back even if I said 'no thank you' so now I try and reply to the ones that make most effort only. However. A lot of guys make zero effort. Just because I am on this site does NOT entitle you to free sex or indeed anything with me. I realize this sounds pissed off so let me explain why that is. I have had people offer me money twice this week. I have strangers email me every day and give a hotel name and time and ask if I want to fuck. I have had people try to bribe me with shopping or gifts and I have had people say they have a bunch of guys that need sucking am I interested? If I post a new picture I get swamped with a fresh tide of 30 or 40 generic 'want sex' or 'you look hot' or 'I want to eat your pussy' messages. This upsets and annoys me. I am not a prostitute. I am not easy and I am not some freaks sex toy. Men wouldn't treat a woman in a bar this way. Why should online be any different? Show some consideration, or be prepared to get your emails ignored and deleted and feel the cold wind of rejection. " I’ve not been on here long, but I’ve seen a few posts like the above that make you realise what it must be like for the women on here - they seem to be deluged with messages - and the cr*p ones probably sour their view so much that the ones they would be interested in become less impactful. | |||
"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. " OP, I know exactly how you feel. I posted up a similar thread on this forum once before, only to be attacked by certain individuals,for just voicing my opinion. Personally, I've had 3 profiles on this site (due to giving up, closing my accounts and then deciding to try again). Each of my profiles have been worded differently, with different photos. All of my messages are worded politely and respectfully. I emphasise that I'm not just here to meet and jump straight into bed, I'm more than happy to participate in socials first. And yet, still no luck, I don't even come close to a meet with anyone, socially or sexually. Pretty much all of my messages are read and ignored or read and deleted. And the few that do actually reply just end up being time wasters. So I too have lost faith, I only continue to try because it's not in my nature to give up! I've even been told by other members that most people here only use the site to keep in contact with friends/people who they've already met/events. And that if you're only using the site for hook ups, then you're going to be massively disappointed. And the verification system makes it difficult. Ok, I understand the purpose of it but almost everyone states that they won't meet unverified members, which just makes meeting people almost impossible to begin with. My personal opinion (which, no doubt I will be slated for) is that single women and couples rule the scene. They all have the pick and the last say. Most have rediculously high expectations! And many profiles are just a list of do's and don'ts, you must be this and you must be that! I'm not racist at all but I also often see many, many profiles that state, no single white males, black guys only, bbc only. Of course, I'm not saying that everyone is looking for the same thing, but this is just one of many things that I've noticed. Now I will most probably get attacked by some, for voicing my opinion, just like last time. But I'm not going to rise to it this time. Just wanted to say that you're not alone OP, many of us are in the same boat. | |||
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" I've even been told by other members that most people here only use the site to keep in contact with friends/people who they've already met " So how did they meet these people in the first place ? | |||
"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. OP, I know exactly how you feel. I posted up a similar thread on this forum once before, only to be attacked by certain individuals,for just voicing my opinion. Personally, I've had 3 profiles on this site (due to giving up, closing my accounts and then deciding to try again). Each of my profiles have been worded differently, with different photos. All of my messages are worded politely and respectfully. I emphasise that I'm not just here to meet and jump straight into bed, I'm more than happy to participate in socials first. And yet, still no luck, I don't even come close to a meet with anyone, socially or sexually. Pretty much all of my messages are read and ignored or read and deleted. And the few that do actually reply just end up being time wasters. So I too have lost faith, I only continue to try because it's not in my nature to give up! I've even been told by other members that most people here only use the site to keep in contact with friends/people who they've already met/events. And that if you're only using the site for hook ups, then you're going to be massively disappointed. And the verification system makes it difficult. Ok, I understand the purpose of it but almost everyone states that they won't meet unverified members, which just makes meeting people almost impossible to begin with. My personal opinion (which, no doubt I will be slated for) is that single women and couples rule the scene. They all have the pick and the last say. Most have rediculously high expectations! And many profiles are just a list of do's and don'ts, you must be this and you must be that! I'm not racist at all but I also often see many, many profiles that state, no single white males, black guys only, bbc only. Of course, I'm not saying that everyone is looking for the same thing, but this is just one of many things that I've noticed. Now I will most probably get attacked by some, for voicing my opinion, just like last time. But I'm not going to rise to it this time. Just wanted to say that you're not alone OP, many of us are in the same boat. " I took a quick look at your profile, I certainly don't intend to slate or criticise you. But saying you want to be a mature woman's toy and talking about someone aquirting all over your face is probably what is potentially putting women off. There's nothing in your profile that's going to make a woman think you'd be someone enjoyable to meet. It's just about what you want and what you're prepared to do to get it. I've played here as a single woman and as a couple. Obviously you get more opportunities to meet but they're not always the paradisical erotic adventures you might think. Being a woman here is just crap for different reasons. It would be self indulgent and inappropriate to describe my experience here yesterday but if I did I think you'd probably think being ignored was preferable. What I find truly baffling is the way people keep closing accounts and making new ones. Why would you think it was going to be any different? I tried Tinder for a bit, i found it shit so I deleted it. I'm not going to go back on there because I already know I found it shit. It doesn't make sense to think I won't find it shit this time. If it's not in your nature to give up then don't. But complaining that it's not how you want it to be is kind of giving up. If you think veris are important then go to a club and get them to verify you. It'll cost you about half what the hotel room you say you're happy to pay for will cost. But I'll say this.. I've got an fwb I met here almost three years ago, a dear friend that I genuinely love. He's never had any verifications, not one. He got me by spending three hours on the phone talking to me about everything BUT sex. We met not having a clue about each others tastes. And neither of us will ever forget the first time we kissed. | |||
"The above poster is right. When I had more than one picture in my profile I used to get 100 emails a day. That is too many to read. I delete unread all the one liners. Then I delete unread all the ones showing a dick in their profile. Then I read and delete all the ones that sent me a dick picture in the message or launched into sex talk. (and trust me - some erotic story is not erotic when you get them 39 times a day from guys that sometimes look like serial killers). Then I try and read the rest. Even then though there are too many to reply to and if you do reply then people reply back even if I said 'no thank you' so now I try and reply to the ones that make most effort only. However. A lot of guys make zero effort. Just because I am on this site does NOT entitle you to free sex or indeed anything with me. I realize this sounds pissed off so let me explain why that is. I have had people offer me money twice this week. I have strangers email me every day and give a hotel name and time and ask if I want to fuck. I have had people try to bribe me with shopping or gifts and I have had people say they have a bunch of guys that need sucking am I interested? If I post a new picture I get swamped with a fresh tide of 30 or 40 generic 'want sex' or 'you look hot' or 'I want to eat your pussy' messages. This upsets and annoys me. I am not a prostitute. I am not easy and I am not some freaks sex toy. Men wouldn't treat a woman in a bar this way. Why should online be any different? Show some consideration, or be prepared to get your emails ignored and deleted and feel the cold wind of rejection. " I completely understand what you have said. And that's what I find extremely frustrating because I am not like that. I approach everyone in the correct manner, always being polite and friendly. None of my messages are sexual or forward, neither do I send dick pics. I always start off by introducing myself and asking if we could chat, get to know a little about eachother to see if we have a connection, even just to meet socially first. But I've found that this approach doesn't work for me either! So what am I/other males supposed to do? Maybe some of the guys on here end up being sexual straight away and forward because they, like myself, are fed up of being the good guy and getting absolutely no where! | |||
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"Well I am slowly losing faith in this site, I have been on and off here for a couple years. I came back on here about 4 months ago and it seems worse that ever. Someone tell me what is wrong with my profile? Or what’s wrong with me. Snap fella " | |||
"So what am I/other males supposed to do? Maybe some of the guys on here end up being sexual straight away and forward because they, like myself, are fed up of being the good guy and getting absolutely no where! " There are 100 men for every woman on here. Being more sexual and forward would just get you on my block list. Be more charming and interesting than the next guy? Show that you've read all her profile. | |||
"So what am I/other males supposed to do? Maybe some of the guys on here end up being sexual straight away and forward because they, like myself, are fed up of being the good guy and getting absolutely no where! There are 100 men for every woman on here. Being more sexual and forward would just get you on my block list. Be more charming and interesting than the next guy? Show that you've read all her profile. " Very interesting thought | |||
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"Im thinking the girls on here are looking for model type hunky guys, which most aren't. I've sent a load of messages this morning, with my photo on every o e as ususl, and the ones that have been read are all deleted straight away. The girls obviously dont like my picture,no doubt its the same with most guys on here, so its unlikely we will ever get a meet. Maybe try changing my photo to one of some model type guy, lol" Very few of us look for model types. What we look for is a few decent pics and a well written profile that interests us. If you keep getting deleted I suggest you review those areas. | |||
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"Im thinking the girls on here are looking for model type hunky guys, which most aren't. I've sent a load of messages this morning, with my photo on every o e as ususl, and the ones that have been read are all deleted straight away. The girls obviously dont like my picture,no doubt its the same with most guys on here, so its unlikely we will ever get a meet. Maybe try changing my photo to one of some model type guy, lol" Pretty sure if it was the other way round and men held the power on this site then the EXACT same would happen. Most guys would pick the 'model' types. It goes both ways. Maybe people should stop projecting their insecurities on to others and actually sell who you are. I used to moan I never got chatted up because i was fat etc wasnt that at all. I was coming across in a negative way and thats what put more people off! Just food for thought | |||
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"guessing two veris later he's enjoying it more now "Definitely good on him for sticking at it and turning it around! | |||
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"Fab has got worse, your best bet is to go to a club and meet people. Fans really just catching up with friends " Interesting the contrast of people’s experiences; I love using Fab to find likeminded fun, friendly people. Visiting clubs as a single guy I find soul destroying. Hey-ho, what works for some, won’t always work for others | |||
