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Advice on full control over a sub and master relationship
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK guys... So I have a dominant nature to me and I get satisfaction of seeing other people enjoying their self's.... I love to be in control and have you at my feet feeling helpless obey your next command...
I have a lovely lady who loves nothing more than getting abused and exploited under someone else's control.... She's said to me
If that becomes the case, she will do absolutely anything for me. She wants me to have complete mental and physical control over her...
I'm looking for advice on what I could get her to do... How to tell her.... And make this work
I'm open to suggestions and ideas.... Who ever comes up with the best ideas I will private message for a full indepth conversation about it all xx |
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Err. You talk to her and establish her comfort zones, boundaries, and limits. You consider your own. You talk about safety, safe words, warning signs something is going wrong, you research how to keep her safe. You talk about how to handle emotions and keep each other psychologically as well as physically safe. |
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Are you Real( trained) or plastic whom excerts ( bossy)their control thinking their Dom.
1.Are you trained in Shibari
2.Can you use equipment correctly ( know how to use a paddle,whip cane,or else)
3.Are you devoted to 24 hours
4.Its not about punishment as well trained Subs dnt need it require punishment,,its a pleasure to receive
5.Have you a place,,in hotels that's just silly out of a bag.
6.Do.you know the etiquette required from your a Sub.
7
A sub is the one in control,hard to explain buy it's as such...
8.Safety words as you.never mentioned are you aware.
9
Clean equipment as must
10.never any booze.as same in Swinging.
Hope I've helped not confused.
From very experienced Trained Sub (trained Subs)
 |
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Are you Real( trained) or plastic whom excerts ( bossy)their control thinking their Dom.
1.Are you trained in Shibari
2.Can you use equipment correctly ( know how to use a paddle,whip cane,or else)
3.Are you devoted to 24 hours
4.Its not about punishment as well trained Subs dnt need it require punishment,,its a pleasure to receive
5.Have you a place,,in hotels that's just silly out of a bag.
6.Do.you know the etiquette required from your a Sub.
7
A sub is the one in control,hard to explain buy it's as such...
8.Safety words as you.never mentioned are you aware.
9
Clean equipment as must
10.never any booze.as same in Swinging.
Hope I've helped not confused.
From very experienced Trained Sub (trained Subs)
|
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Having complete mental and physical control over someone is a huge responsibility. Make sure it's something you want to take on first because it's a life long commitment to 24 hour care and responsibility for another person's well being.
I personally don't think starting with what you're going to make her do is a good idea. Begin by agreeing between you what each other's roles and responsibilities are. If she is ill for instance will you require her to tell you before she takes medication and seek permission for the type and dose? Must she ask you before seeing a doctor? How many times a week should she was her hair? It really is that involved.
If it's role play that happens now and again that's different but still needs careful negotiation.
Good luck |
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To be honest you are better off asking about this on a website dedicated to BDSM rather than swinging. There will be a lot of people on here that have seen or read 50 Shades and think they know the answers. Sure there will be some that do know what they are talking about but how will you sort the wheat from the chaff? |
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"To be honest you are better off asking about this on a website dedicated to BDSM rather than swinging. There will be a lot of people on here that have seen or read 50 Shades and think they know the answers. Sure there will be some that do know what they are talking about but how will you sort the wheat from the chaff?"
I've never or will touch a silly film or book...
It's not only swingers it's in inter mingled sometimes..
Just some of us have the Knowledge, lifestyle ( had in my case 24/7)
And definitely know what were talking about!!!
He asked for advice we gave, as hes in here |
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If you do not understand why she wants what she wants, which may be different from what she says she wants, you will eventually get it wrong.
Are you aware of the law as it relates to BDSM activities and how vulnerable you are to later prosecution? Consent is no defence.
Being able to safely do the types of activity that constitute the gamut of BDSM play is a matter of learned techniques, being able to produce the continuing desire to submit to you in another is a matter of psychological understanding and ability.
Start reading ASAP  |
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"If you do not understand why she wants what she wants, which may be different from what she says she wants, you will eventually get it wrong.
Are you aware of the law as it relates to BDSM activities and how vulnerable you are to later prosecution? Consent is no defence.
Being able to safely do the types of activity that constitute the gamut of BDSM play is a matter of learned techniques, being able to produce the continuing desire to submit to you in another is a matter of psychological understanding and ability.
Start reading ASAP
"
Why I put my two penny worth advice in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should really be discussing ideas with her and establishing her comfort levels. The sign off of you “telling” people that you’ll grace their inbox with an in-depth discussion to whomever has the best idea kinda gives me an indication of your dominance level of training so it may be a good idea to have a brush up on what’s expected of you before you create what’s expected of her. |
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What does she want? What does she like? Her limits?
What research have you done?
Do you even know she has control the entire time?
Also, you never mentioned aftercare?
Painkillers
Run her a hot bath
Gently wash her skin
Wrap her in a cozy blanket
Snuggle up for AT LEAST as long as the session was
Get her favourite snack for her
Let her rest
Subs can 'drop' if you use them as nothing but a punch bag. You need to make her feel cared for and adored.
You're walking into dangerous territory and it sounds like you're doing it blind
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does she want? What does she like? Her limits?
What research have you done?
Do you even know she has control the entire time?
Also, you never mentioned aftercare?
Painkillers
Run her a hot bath
Gently wash her skin
Wrap her in a cozy blanket
Snuggle up for AT LEAST as long as the session was
Get her favourite snack for her
Let her rest
Subs can 'drop' if you use them as nothing but a punch bag. You need to make her feel cared for and adored.
You're walking into dangerous territory and it sounds like you're doing it blind
"
This! 
Snuggly blanket and snacks are the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you Real( trained) or plastic whom excerts ( bossy)their control thinking their Dom.
1.Are you trained in Shibari
2.Can you use equipment correctly ( know how to use a paddle,whip cane,or else)
3.Are you devoted to 24 hours
4.Its not about punishment as well trained Subs dnt need it require punishment,,its a pleasure to receive
5.Have you a place,,in hotels that's just silly out of a bag.
6.Do.you know the etiquette required from your a Sub.
7
A sub is the one in control,hard to explain buy it's as such...
8.Safety words as you.never mentioned are you aware.
9
Clean equipment as must
10.never any booze.as same in Swinging.
Hope I've helped not confused.
From very experienced Trained Sub (trained Subs)
"
No 1..2..3. Are in my eyes not needed and you make it sound so snobby like only professional bdsm masters are allowed to do such stuff. Geez lighten up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does she want? What does she like? Her limits?
What research have you done?
Do you even know she has control the entire time?
Also, you never mentioned aftercare?
Painkillers
Run her a hot bath
Gently wash her skin
Wrap her in a cozy blanket
Snuggle up for AT LEAST as long as the session was
Get her favourite snack for her
Let her rest
Subs can 'drop' if you use them as nothing but a punch bag. You need to make her feel cared for and adored.
You're walking into dangerous territory and it sounds like you're doing it blind
This!
Snuggly blanket and snacks are the best "
Aftercare for that subspace is extremely important.
I would suggest going over to a more fetish lifestyle minded site and start reading/exploring forums. I have some amazing friends, pack leaders and mentors there. |
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"What does she want? What does she like? Her limits?
What research have you done?
Do you even know she has control the entire time?
Also, you never mentioned aftercare?
Painkillers
Run her a hot bath
Gently wash her skin
Wrap her in a cozy blanket
Snuggle up for AT LEAST as long as the session was
Get her favourite snack for her
Let her rest
Subs can 'drop' if you use them as nothing but a punch bag. You need to make her feel cared for and adored.
You're walking into dangerous territory and it sounds like you're doing it blind
"
Subspace is not fun without knowing what you're doing. And I can drop hard after a scene and I need looking after, and what this entails is different depending on the sub. Really do recommend you do your research |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does she want? What does she like? Her limits?
What research have you done?
Do you even know she has control the entire time?
Also, you never mentioned aftercare?
Painkillers
Run her a hot bath
Gently wash her skin
Wrap her in a cozy blanket
Snuggle up for AT LEAST as long as the session was
Get her favourite snack for her
Let her rest
Subs can 'drop' if you use them as nothing but a punch bag. You need to make her feel cared for and adored.
You're walking into dangerous territory and it sounds like you're doing it blind
Subspace is not fun without knowing what you're doing. And I can drop hard after a scene and I need looking after, and what this entails is different depending on the sub. Really do recommend you do your research "
I can be very emotional after a hard play session, aswell as sore and achey. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As so many have already said there are so many things to consider,communication is paramount and you should both spend some time sat discussing every aspect of both of your expectations and of course very importantly both of your limits....physical dependency and mental dependency can be very hard to balance amongst other things....this type of dynamic isn't one to enter lightly and all things should be seriously considered by both parties bedore thinking about taking things further.
Im personally over 20 years as a Dominant and have worked with a very wide spectrum of submissives from those just learning how being submissive fits into their life right to those who crave and need the submissive lifestyle to live.... |
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