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Men and condoms
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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(Neither men were from this site).
Two meets in a row haven't gone as hoped due to the fact that the guys had issues with condoms. The first one didn't want to use them and then couldn't stay hard (despite my best efforts and not making it into a big deal) when we tried. The second just didn't even want to attempt sex if it meant using condoms. These are intelligent guys so why do they seem to value their sexual health so little?
It's driving me a little mad to be honest. Perhaps it was my fault for not making it crystal clear that I absolutely wouldn't have unprotected sex before the meet but I assumed (wrongly) that the vast majority of people would always want to use condoms. We all know sex feels better without a condom but we also all know the risks involved and that having bareback sex with multiple people isn't the best idea. So why do i feel like such a party popper and why oh why can't I have a meet where they get me all worked up and then we have mind blowing (but protected) sex?! Is it really too much to ask? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle staying hard when wearing a condom as I have diabetes but if this happens which can be embarrassing there are still other ways to please a woman. Safe sex always. |
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"(Neither men were from this site).
Two meets in a row haven't gone as hoped due to the fact that the guys had issues with condoms. The first one didn't want to use them and then couldn't stay hard (despite my best efforts and not making it into a big deal) when we tried. The second just didn't even want to attempt sex if it meant using condoms. These are intelligent guys so why do they seem to value their sexual health so little?
It's driving me a little mad to be honest. Perhaps it was my fault for not making it crystal clear that I absolutely wouldn't have unprotected sex before the meet but I assumed (wrongly) that the vast majority of people would always want to use condoms. We all know sex feels better without a condom but we also all know the risks involved and that having bareback sex with multiple people isn't the best idea. So why do i feel like such a party popper and why oh why can't I have a meet where they get me all worked up and then we have mind blowing (but protected) sex?! Is it really too much to ask? "
I'm allergic to latex so I use skins. I wouldn't think about turning up to a meet without condoms but there's guys out there that do or refuse to wear them.
Make it clear with any/all potential meets that you only play safe and if they turn up with no protection offer them some and walk away if they refuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had similar issues a surprising number of times. Can only assume that there are a lot of fabsters who BB quietly for there to be so many well verified men on here who can’t handle condoms.
There are a LOT of sexy men who do use condoms though. Don’t let these two fools knock you. It’s definitely their problem not you being odd or unreasonable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had similar issues a surprising number of times. Can only assume that there are a lot of fabsters who BB quietly for there to be so many well verified men on here who can’t handle condoms.
There are a LOT of sexy men who do use condoms though. Don’t let these two fools knock you. It’s definitely their problem not you being odd or unreasonable."
It's just that one I'm particular I'm really keen on. Me and my husband have an open relationship and I can see potential with this guy but equally we can't just carry on not having sex! |
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I find it really difficult to understand how some people are so wreckless. I understand that it feels better, but to have bareback sex with a person you don’t know well is so stupid. Some are so flippant about it, like how it feels is in the most important thing, when there’s so much more involved. Craziness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men who struggle with them should maybe masturbate on their own in condoms, get used to how they feel and get that psychological link  "
That worked for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle staying hard when wearing a condom as I have diabetes but if this happens which can be embarrassing there are still other ways to please a woman. Safe sex always."
Condoms and diabetes have link in maintaining an erection  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not having condoms, trying BB or stating they won’t fuck without one is an instant block and move on! So very disrespectful if you’ve made it clear that condoms are needed.
Losing erections etc... not an issue. Do other things and come back to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle staying hard when wearing a condom as I have diabetes but if this happens which can be embarrassing there are still other ways to please a woman. Safe sex always.
Condoms and diabetes have link in maintaining an erection "
Question? Or statement?
Yes there is a link. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having condoms, trying BB or stating they won’t fuck without one is an instant block and move on! So very disrespectful if you’ve made it clear that condoms are needed.
Losing erections etc... not an issue. Do other things and come back to it. "
Asda was closed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having condoms, trying BB or stating they won’t fuck without one is an instant block and move on! So very disrespectful if you’ve made it clear that condoms are needed.
Losing erections etc... not an issue. Do other things and come back to it.
Asda was closed "
24 hours!
Be nice, Drama! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having condoms, trying BB or stating they won’t fuck without one is an instant block and move on! So very disrespectful if you’ve made it clear that condoms are needed.
Losing erections etc... not an issue. Do other things and come back to it.
Asda was closed
24 hours!
Be nice, Drama! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having condoms, trying BB or stating they won’t fuck without one is an instant block and move on! So very disrespectful if you’ve made it clear that condoms are needed.
Losing erections etc... not an issue. Do other things and come back to it.
Asda was closed
24 hours!
Be nice, Drama!
"
You certainly are not drama free haha  |
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This sort of issue should’ve been sorted beforehand for the man - if he wanted bareback he should’ve asked and if the profile and or messaging said safe sex only why on earth bother going to a meet knowing you’ve got no intention of that?
Yes condoms aren’t as nice as natural sex but they don’t stop lots or sex going on in clubs trust me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was talking about this earlier today with someone, the number of guys who turn up at a party with no condoms is ridiculous, whether it’s because they are new on the scene or just can’t be bothered I’ve no idea. |
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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago
Gleam Street |
I've had two.. after a social! Meets turn up without.. one got thrown out... the other I gave the benefit of the doubt and produced my own... I worry that they think I'm a safe bet (1st one) because I have a partner.... "yeah.I might be.. you..I dont know" |
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Don't waste energy trying to understand people who aren't matched. Simply make it explicitly clear what your clear position is on safer sex and all fixed positions that you have.
It's worth having your backup option, ready to stop anything that isn't right for you. Some people try to remove them, so always pay attention.
If explicit discussion before meets doesn't them out, consider socials first, where you repeat your boundaries.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggled to stay hard with a condom but I'd not used one for 10 years (just got into swinging).
Can anyone recommend condoms that improve feel? Used Skyns standard for dvp and it was a struggle keeping hard as I couldn't feel much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Certain condoms make me soft, i find that the XL ones have less of a squeeze on my dick and it stays hard for as long as i need it to. Thought it was all condoms for a while but then found the bigger ones |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've heard Skyns are the best but even those men have struggled with. I've bought the larger ones too in the hope that a guy gets on better with them but I have the standard ones too. Thing is though, each guy should have their own preferred condoms and it shouldn't be down to me to supply a vast array. This last guy I'm really keen on so don't want to throw everything away because of this condom issue. It's just ridiculous that it's even an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Protected sex is respect in sex. So much out there to catch some life changing as no treatment. Protecting your sex is protecting your children.
You can get non latex condoms for those that have sensitivities to latex. Have fun out there folks stay safe X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sort of issue should’ve been sorted beforehand for the man - if he wanted bareback he should’ve asked and if the profile and or messaging said safe sex only why on earth bother going to a meet knowing you’ve got no intention of that?
Yes condoms aren’t as nice as natural sex but they don’t stop lots or sex going on in clubs trust me!"
Because some men are all self arse holes, he didn't say because he wanted the meet and he thought once there he will chance his luck! I bet he didn't have written on his profile that he wanted BB. The men on here are liars, let's face it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men who struggle with them should maybe masturbate on their own in condoms, get used to how they feel and get that psychological link "
And also take the time to find the right condom for you A good fitting condom makes a big difference.
Theyfit is a great website which provides condoms for cocks of all lengths and girths. You can put your girth and width on there and it will suggest condoms for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men who struggle with them should maybe masturbate on their own in condoms, get used to how they feel and get that psychological link
And also take the time to find the right condom for you A good fitting condom makes a big difference.
Theyfit is a great website which provides condoms for cocks of all lengths and girths. You can put your girth and width on there and it will suggest condoms for you."
Thanks for this. Will check it out for sure. Will also start using them with the wife occasionally to get used to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sort of issue should’ve been sorted beforehand for the man - if he wanted bareback he should’ve asked and if the profile and or messaging said safe sex only why on earth bother going to a meet knowing you’ve got no intention of that?
Yes condoms aren’t as nice as natural sex but they don’t stop lots or sex going on in clubs trust me!
Because some men are all self arse holes, he didn't say because he wanted the meet and he thought once there he will chance his luck! I bet he didn't have written on his profile that he wanted BB. The men on here are liars, let's face it. "
this!!!
He’s not even worth responding too, if he won’t respect your wishes. Block and move on. |
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By *oubledongWoman
over a year ago
Headington, Oxford |
It happens all the time, I mostly see married men that are used to bareback with their wife. A combination of (excited) nerves and not being used to condoms means that almost half of them go down and get very frustrated when they can't perform.
It is difficult to recover from, it is better just to try again another time, if they are not too embarrassed so as to not return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggled to stay hard with a condom but I'd not used one for 10 years (just got into swinging).
Can anyone recommend condoms that improve feel? Used Skyns standard for dvp and it was a struggle keeping hard as I couldn't feel much. "
Buy a few different types and sizes and experiment, masturbate and try oral together and see what you prefer. No condom is the same for any man. Sizing is also important to small and its restricting and uncomfortable to big and it'll just fall off.
I prefer skyns large or the pink durex, the others i find small and reduce the feeling. With a good fitting condom sex is just as amazing as ot is without. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle staying hard when wearing a condom as I have diabetes but if this happens which can be embarrassing there are still other ways to please a woman. Safe sex always."
this is ok if your up front from the start about erection problems many arnt and try a blag it oh just so they can get some sort of sexual relief |
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"Men who struggle with them should maybe masturbate on their own in condoms, get used to how they feel and get that psychological link "
this. it's what I would always advise.
Op it happens a lot. It's one reason I ended up playing mostly orally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had where I've consented to covered intercourse, but without my knowledge/ consent they whip off the condom so as to spunk in me."
Omg! That’s not consensual sex then!
It’d have lost his front teeth and ball sack!!! |
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We have had a similar experience too!!
However, we have also seen a certain person on this site who does road trips around the country seeking bearback gangbangs.....
I mean..... what the fuck!!! No sex is that good for god sake!
And before anyone says, we know it’s here choice |
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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago
A box at end of your bed |
I don't see the problem with condoms myself no it not the same as sex without one as they dull the sensation during sex but can that not be a good thing at times makes you last longer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fb had a similar issue with a male from a couple, he kept trying it on with her for bareback, it resulted in her telling him to leave as she didnt feel comfortable. Safe to say she wont be doing that again! She told me about it after. She and I still use condoms as it's not just sti's we worry about. |
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We have had a similar experience too!!
However, we have also seen a certain person on this site who does road trips around the country seeking bearback gangbangs.....
I mean..... what the fuck!!! No sex is that good for god sake!
And before anyone says, we know it’s here choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Consent to sex with a condom ceases when you take the condom off.
It then becomes sexual assault but you would probably be arrested for r**e. (Webmashal won't allow the *ap* word) The courts would then decide.
Think about it guys...….. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You aren’t alone in this, and putting your safety first absolutely does not make you a party pooper!
I would never have unprotected sex with anyone besides K because he is my parter. First and foremost for safety reasons. But also because I find it profoundly intimate and something I wouldn’t share with anyone but him.
I have no allergies or preferences as to what type of condom a potential playmate can use. As it’s a limit I’m enforcing I would prefer that they are as comfortable as possible. Definitely a discussion to be had before meeting xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have had a similar experience too!!
However, we have also seen a certain person on this site who does road trips around the country seeking bearback gangbangs.....
I mean..... what the fuck!!! No sex is that good for god sake!
And before anyone says, we know it’s here choice "
I think sex with bears is risky with or without the condom tbh. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"(Neither men were from this site).
Two meets in a row haven't gone as hoped due to the fact that the guys had issues with condoms. The first one didn't want to use them and then couldn't stay hard (despite my best efforts and not making it into a big deal) when we tried. The second just didn't even want to attempt sex if it meant using condoms. These are intelligent guys so why do they seem to value their sexual health so little?
It's driving me a little mad to be honest. Perhaps it was my fault for not making it crystal clear that I absolutely wouldn't have unprotected sex before the meet but I assumed (wrongly) that the vast majority of people would always want to use condoms. We all know sex feels better without a condom but we also all know the risks involved and that having bareback sex with multiple people isn't the best idea. So why do i feel like such a party popper and why oh why can't I have a meet where they get me all worked up and then we have mind blowing (but protected) sex?! Is it really too much to ask? "
The common denominator Op. is you. In your post you say ..
You assume, you didn't make it crystal clear. Change what you're doing. You can only control that.
Folk of all genders know the risks, some are(its their body and their choice)happy to have unprotected sex.
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"I've heard Skyns are the best but even those men have struggled with. I've bought the larger ones too in the hope that a guy gets on better with them but I have the standard ones too. Thing is though, each guy should have their own preferred condoms and it shouldn't be down to me to supply a vast array. This last guy I'm really keen on so don't want to throw everything away because of this condom issue. It's just ridiculous that it's even an issue.
"
Not that I’ve used one but what are female condoms like? Would that resolve the issue or are they horrible? |
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"We have had a similar experience too!!
However, we have also seen a certain person on this site who does road trips around the country seeking bearback gangbangs.....
I mean..... what the fuck!!! No sex is that good for god sake!
And before anyone says, we know it’s here choice
I think sex with bears is risky with or without the condom tbh."
 |
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I used to have real issues with them hence only having full sex in LTRs for a number of years, then tried latex free ones and not looked back since. I think the 'eureka' moment was when I had to wear white latex gloves for work instead of the usual purple or black nitrile ones and they made my hands feel horrid, a very odd tickly irritation. |
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"Men who struggle with them should maybe masturbate on their own in condoms, get used to how they feel and get that psychological link "
Good idea! My current partner is new to fab and unfamiliar/uncomfortable with condoms. Now that we’re ‘in sinc’ sexually we’ve said we’ll use condoms occasionally to help him get used to them. He’s a big lad though so finding ones that aren’t too tight has been a challenge!
Wanking with a condom is also a great idea - I’ll suggest that!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shows massively lack of respect not to show up for meet without protection. Why risk so much for both parties for the sake of wearing a condom. Even if a woman says she’s on the pill and clean I still go Im wearing because it’s the safest option and I can relax more. Heard a guy in a club once say he can have unprotected sex cuz he’s on prep, but that’s not protection for STI surely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Safe sex is a must I would never play the sex roulette game especially with the amount Of sex that goes on. Dont ever put your self or your partner at risk simples always out a sock on the pickle ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to have real issues with them hence only having full sex in LTRs for a number of years, then tried latex free ones and not looked back since. I think the 'eureka' moment was when I had to wear white latex gloves for work instead of the usual purple or black nitrile ones and they made my hands feel horrid, a very odd tickly irritation. "
Plus latex free don’t smell of rubber and are tasteless if you do oral with condoms. Unlike lube.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually took the advice and bought some condoms to use on my own to get used to the feel. Today I stayed hard and came yippee!. Now I just need a willing volunteer to try this with. Anyone local to me want to help?. |
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I use to really struggle with condoms and lose it but after a couple of ladies never made a big deal of it ive been fine. Mind over matter tbh. I wouldnt fuck without one unless it was a regular partner. Ive had the snip and still wouldnt risk my health. I know theres no nasty surprises id pay to keep for 18year but theres others which could last longer. |
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"What’s everyone’s opinion on oral? It seems standard to blow a guy and swallow without protection. Yet the risks of an infection are almost the same. Does anyone use condoms for BJ’s?"
I try not to think about that bit too much. But I do say to any play meets that if they cum it must be in a condom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s everyone’s opinion on oral? It seems standard to blow a guy and swallow without protection. Yet the risks of an infection are almost the same. Does anyone use condoms for BJ’s?"
Condom for BJ's? I think Man also need to put condom on tongue for licking and protect from infection. Swallow surely not a good idea from infection prospective and women should avoid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im all for safe sex and dont take any chances under any circumstances, but i totally understand that sex without a condom has some incredible sensations, but isnt worth the risk unless with a longterm partner.
Even with a long term partner i still dont think its worth the risk (pregancy) unless trying. My advice always cap up unless trying for a baby |
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By *htcMan
over a year ago
MK |
Condom's cause a really bad allergic reaction to me. I will struggle to stay or get hard with one. And if I do stay hard I will never cum. Then a week or two I will have major itching below. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Condom's cause a really bad allergic reaction to me. I will struggle to stay or get hard with one. And if I do stay hard I will never cum. Then a week or two I will have major itching below. "
Buy skyns they are latex free. |
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I have no issues needing to use a condom, but sometimes have issues using them, half of me feel I talk myself into the issue, I have issue therefore I create the issue!
But part of it is definitely a lack of feeling, it what I enjoy and keeps me hard!
Read some decent advice here like wanking with them myself and going they fit site, might get a range of them and see how it goes!
Wish this man luck lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't leave home without them and don't fuck without them. Guys do try it on sometimes, but I'm very alert to that little pop/snap sound these days.
It is weird how few guys know how to put them on properly - get hard and roll down, then there's no issues with air bubbles and they don't need tugging tight (which can cause rips).
Considering doubling up by taking PREP. |
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"What’s everyone’s opinion on oral? It seems standard to blow a guy and swallow without protection. Yet the risks of an infection are almost the same. Does anyone use condoms for BJ’s?"
According to Public Health England, around 1-3% of sexual HIV transmissions in the UK are because of oral sex. Other studies found that the risk is very low but is not zero.
This is very different from almost the same. Yes there are other diseases but their impact during oral tends to be lower.
Risk is a measure of 2 functions, the likelihood of something occuring and the size of the impact if it does occur.
The size of the impact is the same with oral but the likelihood of it ocxuring is lower. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have similar issues, regards staying hard wearing a condom. However, would never consider, or except, to have sex without one on a meet!! There are little helpful aids you can buy to help with hard issues!! Works a treat |
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"I have similar issues, regards staying hard wearing a condom. However, would never consider, or except, to have sex without one on a meet!! There are little helpful aids you can buy to help with hard issues!! Works a treat "
I only have issue when wearing one!
And just to repeat I have no issues needing to wear one! |
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"Men who struggle with them should maybe masturbate on their own in condoms, get used to how they feel and get that psychological link
And also take the time to find the right condom for you A good fitting condom makes a big difference.
Theyfit is a great website which provides condoms for cocks of all lengths and girths. You can put your girth and width on there and it will suggest condoms for you."
Big for this, size and type make such a huge difference. Get fitted, lads!
No judgement on what happens behind closed doors; everyone is different. But bringing along at least the option of condoms should always be the standard, especially for single men. |
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Skyns Elite. Thin but strong, latex free. I've been asked to check the condom is still on on quite a few occasions as it really feels good, unlike the cheap freebies given out in clubs. Only ever torn when catching someone's coil. Usually retail at £11.99 for 10 at Superdrug. I buy in bulk when reduced to £6.99, which is often. |
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