I had an "interesting" conversation with a fab user..maybe we don't know what we're talking about. But just because this is a " sex site" ...manners and respect doesn't matter...some people think just because it's a sex site, they entitled to having sex without putting any effort and treating people like they just a commodity? Like picking up some groceries from the supermarket? Lol thoughts please experienced fabbers.thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For sure they do, I suppose they feel they have some sense of entitlement, especially if they have paid a subscription
I am getting frustrated by males who message sporadically.
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I think there are people at both ends of this spectrum. The treat them like commodities ones, couples looking for single guys can be very much like this right through to the people that want to feel as if they are deeply connected. I prefer somewhere in the middle? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn’t require any experience it requires basic common sense.
The way some people (mostly men) see it, is like this (simplistically):
Real life - woman - not sure if she wants sex - if I’m interested approach and talk or if too shy leave it - don’t break social communication norms due to fear of embarrassment
Online sex site - woman - must be horny, wanting sex - if i’m interested say “sex now?” as there is no embarrassment if she says fuck off. If too shy say it anyways as I’m behind a screen - break all social communication norms as I’m behind a screen. No embarrassment no fear of people finding out.
People who rude, demanding and cant take a “no” often simply fail to understand that these websites are simply another method of communication. Women having an account on them doesn't mean they want sex with everyone.
The issue is many of these men won’t approach women in real life and when they do and/if they are turned down they make themselves feel better by thinking oh she probs is a prude/she doesnt have a lot of sex/whatever.
This happens without men even realising it. In essence they take the rejection to mean she doesn't want it at all rather than thinking she doesnt want ME.
So when they come online and see women so free and confident in their sexuality/body/etc they think aye up this is the woman from the porno. I don’t need to talk to her and be polite because rather than saying no she is putting up all these pictures.
Unfortunately they don't seem to grasp the fact that you can be confident and forward about sex and still say no. The explicit rudeness shows how hiding behind a screens rips away all layers of accountability and makes people feel powerful because they are anonymous.
I think there are way too many concepts in there. I lost my self a little. Been awake since wayy to early for a Saturday!!! |
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Their attitude will impact their results.
If they find a lack of respect gets them better results they will continue with that attitude.
If it gets them poor results, they will change their attitude or leave. |
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By *inkyNinjaWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere over the rainbow... |
"It doesn’t require any experience it requires basic common sense.
The way some people (mostly men) see it, is like this (simplistically):
Real life - woman - not sure if she wants sex - if I’m interested approach and talk or if too shy leave it - don’t break social communication norms due to fear of embarrassment
Online sex site - woman - must be horny, wanting sex - if i’m interested say “sex now?” as there is no embarrassment if she says fuck off. If too shy say it anyways as I’m behind a screen - break all social communication norms as I’m behind a screen. No embarrassment no fear of people finding out.
People who rude, demanding and cant take a “no” often simply fail to understand that these websites are simply another method of communication. Women having an account on them doesn't mean they want sex with everyone.
The issue is many of these men won’t approach women in real life and when they do and/if they are turned down they make themselves feel better by thinking oh she probs is a prude/she doesnt have a lot of sex/whatever.
This happens without men even realising it. In essence they take the rejection to mean she doesn't want it at all rather than thinking she doesnt want ME.
So when they come online and see women so free and confident in their sexuality/body/etc they think aye up this is the woman from the porno. I don’t need to talk to her and be polite because rather than saying no she is putting up all these pictures.
Unfortunately they don't seem to grasp the fact that you can be confident and forward about sex and still say no. The explicit rudeness shows how hiding behind a screens rips away all layers of accountability and makes people feel powerful because they are anonymous.
I think there are way too many concepts in there. I lost my self a little. Been awake since wayy to early for a Saturday!!!"
This. So much this. |
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"I think there are people at both ends of this spectrum. The treat them like commodities ones, couples looking for single guys can be very much like this right through to the people that want to feel as if they are deeply connected. I prefer somewhere in the middle?"
I think most are in the middle. I look for friendliness and respect, more or less. Maybe as a single I worry about it more, but it's partly a safety thing for me. |
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"I think there are people at both ends of this spectrum. The treat them like commodities ones, couples looking for single guys can be very much like this right through to the people that want to feel as if they are deeply connected. I prefer somewhere in the middle?
I think most are in the middle. I look for friendliness and respect, more or less. Maybe as a single I worry about it more, but it's partly a safety thing for me. "
I can understand that. When I think back to my single days and the risks I took  |
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"I think there are people at both ends of this spectrum. The treat them like commodities ones, couples looking for single guys can be very much like this right through to the people that want to feel as if they are deeply connected. I prefer somewhere in the middle?
I think most are in the middle. I look for friendliness and respect, more or less. Maybe as a single I worry about it more, but it's partly a safety thing for me.
I can understand that. When I think back to my single days and the risks I took "
Some of the messages I get here, I think, I wouldn't meet you with a police escort, much less alone. I think a lot of people don't consider that angle (not just men fwiw). |
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"I think there are people at both ends of this spectrum. The treat them like commodities ones, couples looking for single guys can be very much like this right through to the people that want to feel as if they are deeply connected. I prefer somewhere in the middle?
I think most are in the middle. I look for friendliness and respect, more or less. Maybe as a single I worry about it more, but it's partly a safety thing for me.
I can understand that. When I think back to my single days and the risks I took
Some of the messages I get here, I think, I wouldn't meet you with a police escort, much less alone. I think a lot of people don't consider that angle (not just men fwiw). "
Yes. Do the police offer that service round your way?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on your standards you hold. Just cos this is a sex site doesn't mean you get spoken to or damanded of.
My standards are higher on here.. I'm not a push over
But to be fair.. I'm a strong lass.
If I say no it's no if I delete its my choice.
Smile thru the bull there are some nice ones out there |
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"I had an "interesting" conversation with a fab user..maybe we don't know what we're talking about. But just because this is a " sex site" ...manners and respect doesn't matter...some people think just because it's a sex site, they entitled to having sex without putting any effort and treating people like they just a commodity? Like picking up some groceries from the supermarket? Lol thoughts please experienced fabbers.thanks "
You’re completely right to see respect as at the heart of it. Yes, people have different tastes and also styles of messaging. But if someone isn’t capable of treating another human being with respect on here, what are they telling you about their values and how they might behave in other situations? As other posts on here have pointed out, it can put those people in a vicious circle of rejection and self-righteous rage as their tactics make them unable to get what they presumably came on here looking for. I’ve been lucky on here (I’m sure mainly because I’m male) to have relatively few unpleasant messages, but no-one needs to be treated with anything other than respect and politeness. No one is good looking or desirable enough to make up for behaving like a skunk, so don’t let them knock your confidence or self-esteem. Their behaviour proves they are not worth the attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Manners and respect are the social lubricant that enables access to everything else. If someone isn’t able to listen to what I’m saying in messages then he’s not going to listen when I say ‘no’ in real life.
And for those who do listen and demonstrate their respect, those are the people I feel safe with, so can be more adventurous. So many people think power has to be demanded rather than politely requested and willingly given. They’re wrong. |
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"Manners and respect are the social lubricant that enables access to everything else. If someone isn’t able to listen to what I’m saying in messages then he’s not going to listen when I say ‘no’ in real life.
And for those who do listen and demonstrate their respect, those are the people I feel safe with, so can be more adventurous. So many people think power has to be demanded rather than politely requested and willingly given. They’re wrong."
Brilliantly put! |
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