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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have arranged our first couple 4some next month. Its the first time my wife will have been with another man. We have agreed no kissing and will take it slowly and we are both good with that (as is the other couple). However im torn between being incredibly turned on by the idea & being incredibly turned off! When im horney we love it and role play the fantasy. Once ive cum though i lose all interest in the thought and it totally turns me off to think of my wife with another man! Is this normal for first timers & does it change?
Ive seen her with other woman & i was fine with that (obviously ha ha!)
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Fansaty land can be very different from reality. Seriously if the roleplay leaves you feeling like that how do you really think after the night and you have done it. From what you say it sounds like a bad idea for now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know! Its really not an issue of trust or anything & our relationship is certainly strong enough to discuss afterwards and be honest about how we both felt about it. Surely thats normal though for the first time? Or maybe you're right! |
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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago
solihull |
"I know! Its really not an issue of trust or anything & our relationship is certainly strong enough to discuss afterwards and be honest about how we both felt about it. Surely thats normal though for the first time? Or maybe you're right!"
Talk going through to the next level as you are going along...if the other couple are happy with this. We know a lady who was really traumatised as she shagged the guy...and regretted it dreadfully as she felt pressured into it by everyone...its a big step. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The fantasy and reality do differ. We worried about this before we did it. We allowed kissing but we agreed to soft swap only knowing if we liked a couple we could progress it the next time after we had been sure to talk, check in and process our feelings. Talking about the potential negatives are a massively important part of everything for a couple. -Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk, talk and talk some more and not just when your in the mood.
Personally if you have any doubts I'd not go through with it as after the event it's too late and the image will stick with you for a very long time.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely need to be certain about it with agreed boundaries. It's a fantasy on lots of peoples lists but the reality is very different. We found the balance at first was to play together as a couple with another couple playing in the room.
Comfortable with this things progressed slowly and naturally. Xx |
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We met a couple and we was their first meet she had been with another man before but he had never been with another woman all was fine to start but I could see she wasn’t comfortable watching him with my wife so I tried to stop but it was too late she freaked out but we all stopped and sat chatting the tension was eased and we decided to meet again for girl on girl and own partners we now have the pleasure of knowing them and calling them very good friends
When you meet let him know your concerns and that you need to be able to stop if you’re not comfortable he will understand if he doesn’t then walk away |
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Never rush .....take little steps.....and always go at the Wifes pace ......and consider soft stuff to start ........until you go further ....talk to each other ....play nice ....enjoy the fun....XXx  |
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By * n SCouple
over a year ago
dundee |
It doesn't sound like you are at all comfortable with this and it needs cancelled until you are. I think thered be resentment if you go through with it tbh. You have to be sure it's what you want. When we first tried it I was certain I wanted to see her with an extra guy. Even the kissing was a major turn on. Her in between us kissing and touching us in turn was incredible. As someone above said without that I think the whole scenario of you went ahead would be very sterile but the fact you can't even watch each other kiss someone else doesn't bode well for full sex. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
In all seriousness if you don't like the idea in fantasy then you will not like it in reality.
Perhaps it might be wiser to take it even slower. Go to a club and play in the presence of others. If you feel comfortable with that then perhaps move to soft swap.
Take it slow and keep checking in with each other after each meet to ensure that you and your wife are still comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I couldn't do it without kissing. Sorry but I would feel like a prostitute.
First time I did this (with an ex) I was very nervous. As we were in a relationship, I was concerned I might see him with another woman and go mad! As it was, I didn't and I really enjoy watching my partner with others. It's such a turn on, knowing what they are getting! |
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