FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No show for a social?
No show for a social?
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This is the first social I’ve arranged through Fab. I’m not new to swinging, but new to being a solo female and using Fab.
We arranged to meet in a coffee shop and messaged last night, today he didn’t turn up. I know this happens a lot. Is there anything I can do to reduce the chances of this happening again? And do I wait a few days and then block the guy? Thanks everyone
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never missed a social especially in a coffee shop I love a brew and a nice chat. Such a perfect way to get to know someone. This has happened to me also and I find it nasty. |
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Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would personally leave it till tomorrow then block if he hasn’t the courtesy to explain the reason for the no show, don’t contact him yourself . My advice for what it’s worth |
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"Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!! "
You'll be fine, just keep arranging socials with ones you like the look of and take pride in the fact it's now all down to your choosing and arranging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s the trouble with some guys and they spoil it for others it’s a shame Fab has got a lot of time wasters, but it’s a part of swinging where guys are just getting off on it. But don’t let it spoil it for you because there are genuine guys and couples that want to meet, but I always look for verifications and that tells you a lot about the person too. But don’t let these time waster spoil your swinging adventures |
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"Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!! "
Don't let it knock your confidence in yourself, it wasn't you who caused him to stand you up.
I admire singles who meet on fab, it takes guts.
I don't know how you reduce the chances of a no show. If we don't hear from them the day before we tend to assume they aren't coming but aside from that if someone seems genuine there's not much else you can do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would report to admin as a no show and not giving you a valid excuse. Unfortunately fab is full of time wasters and wannabes..Don't take it personal and put it behind you. I'm sure there's plenty guys out there that would jump at the chance to meet up with you. |
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This is why we insist on an initial social meet.
Happened to us a few times when we jumped the gun and booked hotels. If they no show on a social you haven’t invested to much time, money & effort.
It’s his loss and I’m sure you’ll find many other more genuine people to meet.
And we report and block straight away. |
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Speaking to someone on the phone before firming up plans is a good idea. It’s a fairly good way of ing out people who aren’t serious. And then I expect communication on the day, usually ask them to let me know when they’re on their way. But even with all of that it does still happen- it’s a reflection of them, rather than anything to do with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A shame that happened for you OP
Not much you can do to prevent that apart from choosing someone who has veris for turning up.
R"
Verified people timewaste too
I don't think there is any way you can stop it from happening I've been trying to for a few years and getting no where |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!! "
The guy must be crazy. You look absolutely amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know it’s stings a bit confidence wise, but it’s a reflection of him and not you. It’s so disrespectful. We have been stood up a few times now as a couple. It’s frustrating. We give them til the following day to get in contact and then we report them to Fab and block. I’m sorry it happened. It’s not you, it’s so many just don’t have the balls to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And verifications aren’t always valuable. One of our best meets had none and was absolutely reliable and fantastic. Another had good verifications and didn’t show up! |
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I have started to report all "no shows"...even if they have an excuse like "I drove past and you wasn't my type"
I wasn't told until two hours later when he messaged.
During this time,I sat about waiting (he said he was running late due to school traffic) then I ended up stuck in rush hour traffic on my way back home.
It's even happened with guys who have had decent veries!
So not always a clear indication re reliability.
Getting to the point now whereby I am thinking of not meeting on a 1 to 1 basis and just meeting at organised socials and clubs which I attend anyway.
This is where the genuine people are at.
Hope we have all been of help and remember, you're not on your own op.
Good Luck. X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont have much to add, apart from - it does get better. Been there. You will learn your ways of selecting!
You are beautiful. Sorry he didnt find courage to cancel at the very least... not your fault! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Last minute cancellations and people going dark a couple of days before an arranged social were high amongst the reasons I left the site earlier in the year. I do think that over the course of the last few years more blowhards and wannabes are on the site, chasing for agreement to a meet then disappearing.
It’s frustrating, particularly when you have few chances for adult fun. I did all the recommended stuff, kept in touch, spoke in the phone, confirmed on the day...then three hours beforehand..the hamster’s died, their chrysanthemum has had an anxiety attack, they forgot they had to be in Nova Scotia for a business meeting... The only thing I can think of is to not plan meets so far in advance, by the time the meet comes round they’ve had a wank and lost interest. For someone who needs to plan her diary that is really hard.
I don’t know what else to suggest. I’ll watch this thread with interest to see other’s suggestions. Please don’t take it to heart though. It absolutely is their problem not yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social only let down are a regular occurrence, who wants to turn up for a long interview, dressed your best, give answers you think the interviewer wants to hear, bullshit your way in for what may turn out to be a job that is shorter than the interview!
Are people that desperate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny, I never saw a 20 minute flirt and chat with someone sexy as that great a hardship.
I’d suggest that meeting as a couple is significantly different to meeting as a single too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny, I never saw a 20 minute flirt and chat with someone sexy as that great a hardship.
I’d suggest that meeting as a couple is significantly different to meeting as a single too."
Agreed, but not sure what you gain from a 20 min chat and then walk away to fix another date, we’d prefer a 20 min chat then if we all want to rip each other clothes off we do...
And we weren’t being completely serious, maybe it is different for other people, we know both couples and singles who operate in both ways |
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I’ll always try and attend some organised socials to support the organisers who do a great job for fab
But if someone wants a one to one social it has to be at a club
If they don’t show then it’s not the end of the world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social only let down are a regular occurrence, who wants to turn up for a long interview, dressed your best, give answers you think the interviewer wants to hear, bullshit your way in for what may turn out to be a job that is shorter than the interview!
Are people that desperate? "
 . I would say it's the opposite to desperate. Meeting someone for a drink, getting to know them rather than meeting someone thinking I'm here anyway so I may as well shag them now  . Hence when I was meeting I would always do at least 1 social if not more as I don't want to fuck strangers |
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If he wasn`t going to make the meet, He should have let you know straight away & not let you turn up & just sit there feeling awkward. Inconsiderate to say the least.
Next time make them sit somewhere that there`s a public cam you can access online or send you a photo of them waiting for you. Make them turn up at least 15 minutes before you do. |
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"I’ll always try and attend some organised socials to support the organisers who do a great job for fab
But if someone wants a one to one social it has to be at a club
If they don’t show then it’s not the end of the world "
Completely agree. |
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"If he wasn`t going to make the meet, He should have let you know straight away & not let you turn up & just sit there feeling awkward. Inconsiderate to say the least.
Next time make them sit somewhere that there`s a public cam you can access online or send you a photo of them waiting for you. Make them turn up at least 15 minutes before you do."
I was sat inside. |
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"Happens to me too
I now arrange most socials at a time and place I will be anyway eg Trafford Centre on a weekend - then I can just go shopping at Costco instead.
People are weird
Ditto to both.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We arrange socials at a club now, been stood up a few times. Social at the club for us has been mainly to make sure you are who you say you are, that your pictures are of you and that we click in some way.
Our arranged club socials have all been good and ended with playing in the club. If you’re honest on your profile and with your pics, a club social will probably lead to more
Mr |
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"Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!! "
Don't let it knock your confidence, you've assets a plenty. I can assure you it's not you, its his loss. We've had a few no shows for a social. Too many fantasists out there who just don't have the balls to meet. Keep on trucking OP x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's unfortunately the way fab has gone.
We have been talking to a well verified guy for about 6 weeks trying to line up a date for a social, got a date sorted so sent him a message to ask if he's also free and he hasn't opened it from days ago but been online plenty of times.. gut instinct kicks in so we'll be heading off to Angels in Melksham instead.
Our spare time is very limited so when we get a sniff of being messed about we cancel.
Hope your next social is more successful OP. X |
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"This is the first social I’ve arranged through Fab. I’m not new to swinging, but new to being a solo female and using Fab.
We arranged to meet in a coffee shop and messaged last night, today he didn’t turn up. I know this happens a lot. Is there anything I can do to reduce the chances of this happening again? And do I wait a few days and then block the guy? Thanks everyone
"
The guy must be mad to have let you down
We have had a lot of let downs and sadly they have mostly been guys
Don’t let it put you off we now normally meet couples x |
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"Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!!
Don't let it knock your confidence, you've assets a plenty. I can assure you it's not you, its his loss. We've had a few no shows for a social. Too many fantasists out there who just don't have the balls to meet. Keep on trucking OP x"
This.
We’ve been stood up a couple of times but the good fabsters far outweigh the bad ones. I still haven’t forgiven Ace Winger for not meeting me on Saturday though!  |
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Wait to see if there's any reason given with full apologies but also be prepared to report them to admin. It's just a reflection largely on them, not you.
I always insist on agreeing a detailed communications plan leading up to about an hour before a meet, so that you can probably more easily spot if someone isn't going to be at a meet. If they fall to do what they have agreed beforehand, they highlight themselves as unreliable.
Another option for you is to potentially arrange more than one social - they don't have to be at the same place. If one didn't work, the others are likely to at least give you a positive result for the day and each individual has less influence on your day and fab experience.
Some men just want the sex and may skip a social if something else is on offer - hence why I like to hear from them an hour or so before meeting by a phone call, where it's easier to judge their real intent than just by text. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I very rarely get a reply or message let alone the chance to arrange a social meet!
Why anyone would blow opportunities to meet other great fun people without genuine reasons is beyond me |
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"Make sure you keep in contact up to the meet. Even confirming when your both leaving for the meet. I've found no shows go quiet on the morning. "
This and I have only had 1 no show where I had actually left the house and was waiting at agreed meeting place. If anyone were to cancel before I start getting ready they haven't wasted any of my time. |
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Wow, thanks for all the replies everyone. I’m more used to meeting in clubs tbh, I just feel more vulnerable playing solo now without my husband. I want to make some naughty friends to have regular fun with, rather than have a series of meets with different people each time. I’ll just keep being myself and see what happens!! |
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"Funny, I never saw a 20 minute flirt and chat with someone sexy as that great a hardship.
I’d suggest that meeting as a couple is significantly different to meeting as a single too.
Agreed, but not sure what you gain from a 20 min chat and then walk away to fix another date, we’d prefer a 20 min chat then if we all want to rip each other clothes off we do...
And we weren’t being completely serious, maybe it is different for other people, we know both couples and singles who operate in both ways "
I don't think that would go down to well in my local Costa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is the first social I’ve arranged through Fab. I’m not new to swinging, but new to being a solo female and using Fab.
We arranged to meet in a coffee shop and messaged last night, today he didn’t turn up. I know this happens a lot. Is there anything I can do to reduce the chances of this happening again? And do I wait a few days and then block the guy? Thanks everyone
"
We learned from bitter experience, that one can arrange socials, but can't compel the other party to attend.
We had multiple no shows on the bounce. Highly demotivating. |
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