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Awkwardness at clubs?
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Ask the staff for a tour and a guide.
Talk to people. Small talk, not just about sex. Look, appreciate, but don't stare. If you're talking to a couple, talk to both of them.
Don't follow people around (particularly silently or grunting and wanking), watch if there's an opportunity but back off if asked to. Don't touch without consent.
If you have regular social skills then you should be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs are really friendly.
Find the club you want to go
Find the night that suits your needs
Explain to staff as you go in they will show you around.
Don't worry we were all new once.. |
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
Hi op ,I can only talk about cj's in Glasgow as it's the only club I have visited so far (and that only 3 times ).my first visit was for a TV and admirers party .so first visit to a club and first time openly bi !! Nervous as hell .but every one was so helpful and friendly with a nice relaxed atmosphere .I had fun and had a blast .so for me it works and I would recommend it to you.. Chris |
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Interacting with people in clubs is generally about a million times easier than interacting with people on here, in my experience at least. Ultimately everyone is there for the same (or a very similar) reason as you. If you go with the mentality that everything is normal, just focus on being at ease in the situation, don't feel like you have to lead or initiate conversations if you're not comfortable but do join in with the banter in the social areas. My best club experiences have been when I've spent the first hour or two holding court in the hot tub, chatting with everyone else who comes in. Then when things start to get under way, I have a little explore of the venue and people I was chatting about bikes or mortgages or the weather with earlier are inviting me over to play. I find flirting with people in clubs so much more fun and productive than it is in the vanilla world!  |
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By *ez1987Man
over a year ago
Great Harwood, Blackburn |
I went to club sx on Saturday it was my first experience of club going.
Go in ask for a tour of the place and don't go expecting it to be a sex club type of cliche.
Just be casual you and talk yo people normally like you would in any other pub or night club.
Don't go in expecting sex was the advice I was given but if anything extra happens it's a bonus.
But most importantly have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just do what 90% of people do in clubs who are not regulars, walk around, look miserable, avoid eye contact, grunt a few times, avoid engaging with people, try to join in play non verbally, then get the hump, go home and realise how miserable, self absorbed and horrible people generally are... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just do what 90% of people do in clubs who are not regulars, walk around, look miserable, avoid eye contact, grunt a few times, avoid engaging with people, try to join in play non verbally, then get the hump, go home and realise how miserable, self absorbed and horrible people generally are..."
Wow. Sold! Sounds incredible  . Rather have a wank and watch Bargain Hunt.
I'm sure it will be sound OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went to club sx on Saturday it was my first experience of club going.
Go in ask for a tour of the place and don't go expecting it to be a sex club type of cliche.
Just be casual you and talk yo people normally like you would in any other pub or night club.
Don't go in expecting sex was the advice I was given but if anything extra happens it's a bonus.
But most importantly have fun. "
Hi, There sweetie good advise and lovely sitting chatting and having a good old laugh at the end of the night xx
Lou xx  |
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By *ez1987Man
over a year ago
Great Harwood, Blackburn |
"I went to club sx on Saturday it was my first experience of club going.
Go in ask for a tour of the place and don't go expecting it to be a sex club type of cliche.
Just be casual you and talk yo people normally like you would in any other pub or night club.
Don't go in expecting sex was the advice I was given but if anything extra happens it's a bonus.
But most importantly have fun.
Hi, There sweetie good advise and lovely sitting chatting and having a good old laugh at the end of the night xx
Lou xx "
Hi lou, yeah was good chatting to you at the end of the night and also I'll be coming back again in October at the end of the month too
Neil xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks people, gonna give it a go on Wednesday  "
Unless Wednesday is a special event you would be better off going on a weekend. I went alone last Friday (first timer too) and had a blast. Little tip though, don't be a creepy wanking zombie like the three creepy fuckers I saw following couples around. Get in the jacuzzi and start chatting and you will love it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went to club sx on Saturday it was my first experience of club going.
Go in ask for a tour of the place and don't go expecting it to be a sex club type of cliche.
Just be casual you and talk yo people normally like you would in any other pub or night club.
Don't go in expecting sex was the advice I was given but if anything extra happens it's a bonus.
But most importantly have fun.
Hi, There sweetie good advise and lovely sitting chatting and having a good old laugh at the end of the night xx
Lou xx
Hi lou, yeah was good chatting to you at the end of the night and also I'll be coming back again in October at the end of the month too
Neil xxx "
Brill, Cant wait see you then xx Lou xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went to club sx on Saturday it was my first experience of club going.
Go in ask for a tour of the place and don't go expecting it to be a sex club type of cliche.
Just be casual you and talk yo people normally like you would in any other pub or night club.
Don't go in expecting sex was the advice I was given but if anything extra happens it's a bonus.
But most importantly have fun.
Hi, There sweetie good advise and lovely sitting chatting and having a good old laugh at the end of the night xx
Lou xx
Hi lou, yeah was good chatting to you at the end of the night and also I'll be coming back again in October at the end of the month too
Neil xxx
Brill, Cant wait see you then xx Lou xxx "
Not been to Blackpool since I was a kid but I bet it's a lot more fun as an adult especially at club sx.  |
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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago
a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road |
"Ask the staff for a tour and a guide.
Talk to people. Small talk, not just about sex. Look, appreciate, but don't stare. If you're talking to a couple, talk to both of them.
Don't follow people around (particularly silently or grunting and wanking), watch if there's an opportunity but back off if asked to. Don't touch without consent.
If you have regular social skills then you should be fine. "
This is spot on
Avoid the wanking dead at all costs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to go but kind of worried about what to do hahah, im a single male so what would you do when you go in ? Im brand new to this by the way  "
sit in the corner and wait for sexy people to come to you and try not to stare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go into the bar area "and be nice" , chat with people "and be nice" flirt a little "and be nice" but most important is to be clean and respectful.
Have fun hun x "
and be nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to go but kind of worried about what to do hahah, im a single male so what would you do when you go in ? Im brand new to this by the way "
I've got the same questions mate, building myself up to go to the bbq xmas party in December. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to go but kind of worried about what to do hahah, im a single male so what would you do when you go in ? Im brand new to this by the way
I've got the same questions mate, building myself up to go to the bbq xmas party in December."
I was new until last Friday.
Went in alone got a drink and started chatting. It's so relaxed you will wonder what all the fuss was about. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just enjoy being in like minded company and go with no expectations other than social !!
Give me a shout if ever in the Midlands I’m always happy to have a club buddy |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
I would recommend checking all the clubs you could make it to, check reviews and see what events are on. Find an event that suits you, and if it’s themed then make the effort as people will pick up on it and it could allow you to break the ice!
The most important thing in my opinion is to treat it like a bar, go there and socialise. You’ll be shown around upon arrival and be made aware of the rules. If you do get chatting and get an invite to play then happy days. If you don’t you’ve had a good night out socialising.
It’s just like forums on fab in the sense that the more people see your face and get familiar with your personality are the more you’ll attract likeminded people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks"
Bollocks. I went and my confidence went from 10% to 90% simply by actually talking to people. I'm probably a 4 and got felt up and a snog from a lass almost half my age in the jacuzzi. Not a bad first night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ask the staff for a tour and a guide.
Talk to people. Small talk, not just about sex. Look, appreciate, but don't stare. If you're talking to a couple, talk to both of them.
Don't follow people around (particularly silently or grunting and wanking), watch if there's an opportunity but back off if asked to. Don't touch without consent.
If you have regular social skills then you should be fine. "
This is perfect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to go but kind of worried about what to do hahah, im a single male so what would you do when you go in ? Im brand new to this by the way "
you pay your between £45-75 cross the threshold and expect nothing that way you won't be disappointed |
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"My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks
Bollocks. I went and my confidence went from 10% to 90% simply by actually talking to people. I'm probably a 4 and got felt up and a snog from a lass almost half my age in the jacuzzi. Not a bad first night."
I'd probably rate myself a touch higher than a 4 but by the same token I've been pleasantly surprised after not expecting miracles straight away -- maybe just beginners luck but on my first two visits to my local club, I got to play with the most attractive (to me) ladies in the whole place, not only that, but I was literally just being myself and chatting and they (or their partner) initiated everything. It's not like I had to bust out any chat-up lines or anything! |
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"Ask the staff for a tour and a guide.
Talk to people. Small talk, not just about sex. Look, appreciate, but don't stare. If you're talking to a couple, talk to both of them.
Don't follow people around (particularly silently or grunting and wanking), watch if there's an opportunity but back off if asked to. Don't touch without consent.
If you have regular social skills then you should be fine. "
winning comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks
Bollocks. I went and my confidence went from 10% to 90% simply by actually talking to people. I'm probably a 4 and got felt up and a snog from a lass almost half my age in the jacuzzi. Not a bad first night.
I'd probably rate myself a touch higher than a 4 but by the same token I've been pleasantly surprised after not expecting miracles straight away -- maybe just beginners luck but on my first two visits to my local club, I got to play with the most attractive (to me) ladies in the whole place, not only that, but I was literally just being myself and chatting and they (or their partner) initiated everything. It's not like I had to bust out any chat-up lines or anything! "
I think that's the key though just get chatting and be yourself. I'm normally very shy but I thought to hell with it lets just loosen up a bit and see what happens. I think I embarrassed the lady I was chatting with in the jacuzzi and that's why it didn't go any further than a snog and a little touching. She had trouble believing that I thought she was the most beautiful lady in the club but to me she was. I was in awe of her and giving her so many compliments but she thought I was just after sex. Wish I could have chatted more with her  but it was an amazing first experience. |
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"My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks"
I’m happy to say that’s never been my experience I’ve found people are often happy to chat as they’re often in the same boat and remember you’ve got to be in it to win it |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks
I’m happy to say that’s never been my experience I’ve found people are often happy to chat as they’re often in the same boat and remember you’ve got to be in it to win it "
Exactly, first club I went I hated it, it wasn’t my kind of atmosphere and I didn’t enjoy myself. Second time around I found a different club with a vibe that works for me and I’m always enjoying myself... clubs vary from place to place, just find the one that suits you if the experience you’ve had wasn’t great. And look to see how you could adjust yourself to be more approachable or stand out as someone worth chatting to. |
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"My advice? Don't Bother you will be a single man amongst many and will be largely ignored by the womenand couples there unless you are a black guy hung like a horse or a white guy with film star looks
I’m happy to say that’s never been my experience I’ve found people are often happy to chat as they’re often in the same boat and remember you’ve got to be in it to win it
Exactly, first club I went I hated it, it wasn’t my kind of atmosphere and I didn’t enjoy myself. Second time around I found a different club with a vibe that works for me and I’m always enjoying myself... clubs vary from place to place, just find the one that suits you if the experience you’ve had wasn’t great. And look to see how you could adjust yourself to be more approachable or stand out as someone worth chatting to."
In my experience I concur with the above. Also just to add, remember to be your own man. Don't be dragged into the trap of copying what the other guys in the club are doing. I understand the attraction when your nervous to just hang around with all the guys. Not saying don't socialise with other guys, no of course not. But make the effort to do your own thing, be out going and put yourself out there alone to meet others you are attracted to. Don't be afraid to stand out. And totally do not get drawn to into joining the ranks of the wanking dead.
You just need to get over the fear of rejection. And learn to soak it up, its not that big of a thing and its generally no bad reflection on you. Its just we can't be everyone's cup of tea or what they have come looking for that night. It's just the same for couples and single ladies. Not everyone will want to be with you even if you like them. But positivity and enthusiasm will trump negativity and creepiness every time. But genrally friendliness, good conversation, respect and decency will be reciprocated either way.
And as mentioned before but prior research is king. Plus taking the time to prepare properly before arriving. Also do not knock the oppertunity for the tour, do tell them it's your first time. Not only will you get to see the place and get some good advise, bit you may even get introduced to some people along the way (or meet others taking a tour at the same time). |
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