My wife is not interested in swinging in any way and I fully respect her choice and decision but have to admit I’d love to see her with other men or women enjoy sex and play
I have a high sex drive and find it difficult to understand how anyone in a solid relationship would not enjoy having sex with other people as it’s definitely fantastic especially with the other partner involved and happy
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I have a high sex drive and find it difficult to understand how anyone in a solid relationship would not enjoy having sex with other people as it’s definitely fantastic especially with the other partner involved and happy
"
Swingers are rare beasts and it's definitely not the norm for people in a solid relationship to want to swing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it because they don't want to, or because society conditions them? "
Try reading Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan. An interesting take on human sexuality. It's not porn even my mother has read it.
You can download it from Amazon or buy the paperback, also can download it from the Pirate Bay. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it because they don't want to, or because society conditions them?
Try reading Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan. An interesting take on human sexuality. It's not porn even my mother has read it.
You can download it from Amazon or buy the paperback, also can download it from the Pirate Bay."
It’s a really interesting book. We believe society conditions people to stick within social norms.
There are hundreds of years of society and religion repressing female sexuality so that men can ‘own’ women. It is difficult as women especially have been conditioned all their life to believe a good girl doesn’t have multiple partners. Things are changing but slowly.
‘Sex At Dawn’ is a great place to start. You could also try hotwife or sharing porn and see if that turns her on. If it excites her then there’s a good chance she finds it exciting but is held back by what she thinks is right and wrong.
These things can take years to talk through and tease out. Ultimately though it’s her decision and you shouldn’t push but you can subtly explore the fantasy for a while. It’s all about communication and education as well as what two people in a relationship ultimately want. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or you could also just respect the fact that she’s said no...  "
Depends on how much communication there has been in the relationship . From our experience, conversations, reading and listening to podcast interviews it seems that many times the knee jerk reaction is an immediate ‘no’ from the woman. As we said never push but each partner has to understand the feelings and needs of the other.
Suggesting swinging out the blue is a big shock to the relationship and sometimes people need to explore the scenario in conversation so each partner can talk through their respective positions. It takes a bit of time to get your head around the various taboos involved.
If you can’t communicate in a relationship and one person wants to swing and another doesn’t then that can cause big issues. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think that we should stop trying to make other people behave in ways we personally find acceptable by coercion or insistence. Not everyone wants sex with multiple partners or in front of other people etc etc. I wouldn't have the audacity to insist that everyone is into BDSM really it's just been supressed by society and religion.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you read the original post properly it states respect for her decision!! "
But a some subsequent posts suggest that having more than one partner is what everyone wants but just can't admit it due to social conditioning.
Also the ops second paragraph somewhat negates his first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"I think that we should stop trying to make other people behave in ways we personally find acceptable by coercion or insistence. Not everyone wants sex with multiple partners or in front of other people etc etc. I wouldn't have the audacity to insist that everyone is into BDSM really it's just been supressed by society and religion.
"
So you're saying that no one, at any point in your life has ever convinced you to try something that you enjoyed that you thought you wouldn't
If you have, what did it take you to try it, coersion or insistence?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not everyone wants multiple sexual partners, I for one! I'm on here as a singleton (bearing in mind I don't actually date nor am looking for a relationship) but if I was in a relationship wouldn't want multiple partners, one would be it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Not everyone wants multiple sexual partners, I for one! I'm on here as a singleton (bearing in mind I don't actually date nor am looking for a relationship) but if I was in a relationship wouldn't want multiple partners, one would be it! "
Of course and if you know 100% that that will never change that's absolutely fine - but not everyone knows the full extent of their sexuality.
Some change and develop with age and/or circumstance.
My point is that it doesn't always take coercion or insistence - it can be as a result of having one's mind 'opened' to other possibilities that social, religious or family conditioning have previously not allowed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Mine did from the start (once our relationship was solid) but thought I didn't  ha !
As others have said, take it really slowly. Watch a few soft movies together now and then, see how she feels about watching others have sex, sharing partners. Talk about your fantasies but don't push. Take it really, really slow !. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was on here with my partner for about four years she just grew tired of all the bullshit that comes with been on here, she had shown no interest so I saw no point pushing it
Glad to say that she will be meeting guys off here again soon withput actually setting up another account.
So I'd say to the op it just is what it is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
