FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > where am i going wrong?
where am i going wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
I have found that some of the ladies of Fab generally prefer a profile picture to be a face, or body or even a cheeky bum photo, and are put off by the cock picture. Maybe see what other photos you can display as a profile photo and maybe mark your naughtier photos as friends only? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The BDSM list is probably a turn off for people. Just incorporate some of your likes into your normal profile. Just tell people a little bit more about yourself and what you have to offer. Some normal pics would probably be nice too. Hope this helps as it's advice I took on board from other fabbers and I have had quite a bit of interest since. |
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Hi, you cannot expect females to be attracted to u if theres none! You can be v respectful, great manners etc but if theres no attraction u wont get a reply! Its as simple as that, just keep doing what ur doing and u never know maybe a female will msg bk!... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably not doing anything wrong so just reframe your expectations. It is a numbers game and unfortunately for you. Men are not rare and the ladies have to be picky to keep the scary ones away. |
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"Ps Delete that " I dont bite unless you ask me too" ...would u really bite someone!!! ... No its in jest "
It’s an awful fab cliché that says “I think I’m funny and original”, but actually shows the exact opposite. You weren’t to know that, but it’s one of those phrases that is often cited as a turn off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ps Delete that " I dont bite unless you ask me too" ...would u really bite someone!!! ... No its in jest
It’s an awful fab cliché that says “I think I’m funny and original”, but actually shows the exact opposite. You weren’t to know that, but it’s one of those phrases that is often cited as a turn off. "
I get where your coming from as the saying goes never to old to learn never too young to teach thanks for the advice |
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Your approach is generally appropriate - read and respectfully respond to their profiles. They will always look at your profile, so the major slant, if someone struggles, is to read profile improvement forum threads, to see what may work. And to improve and update it as you learn.
It's a big issue for you single guys outnumbering others, that largely makes it hard for you. Going to socials and clubs increases the people that you meet and get to know. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your approach is generally appropriate - read and respectfully respond to their profiles. They will always look at your profile, so the major slant, if someone struggles, is to read profile improvement forum threads, to see what may work. And to improve and update it as you learn.
It's a big issue for you single guys outnumbering others, that largely makes it hard for you. Going to socials and clubs increases the people that you meet and get to know. "
nothing that comes easy is worth having. I understand what your saying dont get me wrong i have had a few meets from fab but i think my profile is massively letting me down hence why i am laying it all bare for the fab community to maybe help me with their own personal findings and words of wisdom  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Your approach is generally appropriate - read and respectfully respond to their profiles. They will always look at your profile, so the major slant, if someone struggles, is to read profile improvement forum threads, to see what may work. And to improve and update it as you learn.
It's a big issue for you single guys outnumbering others, that largely makes it hard for you. Going to socials and clubs increases the people that you meet and get to know. nothing that comes easy is worth having. I understand what your saying dont get me wrong i have had a few meets from fab but i think my profile is massively letting me down hence why i am laying it all bare for the fab community to maybe help me with their own personal findings and words of wisdom "
I've only just looked so obviously it's changed since the OP, I think your profile is fine now, decent pics, decent text, good luck! If you're ever in the Midlands send me a message lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Change your profile a million times and start a thread like this and each time you will be given advice on what to change about it. You could go on forever.
The thing is you are a single man and that is the problem. It's never going to be easy no matter what you have on the profile.
It's become a numbers game. Message enough and you might get a reply from one of them, if you are lucky.
That's the reality online. |
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"well guys and girls i have had a little re jig of the my profile any feedback would be appreciated "
Didn't see the original, but unfortunately what you have is now a generic, rather dull profile. However, you're hot as fuck...you may get away with it! |
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
"well guys and girls i have had a little re jig of the my profile any feedback would be appreciated
Didn't see the original, but unfortunately what you have is now a generic, rather dull profile. However, you're hot as fuck...you may get away with it! "
Totally agree on both points  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pics are definitely more appealing but your profile like most of us will always be a work in progress. Get yourself to a club you will have a blast and meet some nice people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good photos, but that status would definitely put me off, and it would be a good idea to sort out your spelling and grammar."
Do you shag the spelling and grammar though  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Good photos, but that status would definitely put me off, and it would be a good idea to sort out your spelling and grammar.
Do you shag the spelling and grammar though "
She doesn't have to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good photos, but that status would definitely put me off, and it would be a good idea to sort out your spelling and grammar.
Do you shag the spelling and grammar though
She doesn't have to "
Oh, I swear some of you finger yourselves to the dictionary  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Good photos, but that status would definitely put me off, and it would be a good idea to sort out your spelling and grammar.
Do you shag the spelling and grammar though
She doesn't have to
Oh, I swear some of you finger yourselves to the dictionary "
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"Good photos, but that status would definitely put me off, and it would be a good idea to sort out your spelling and grammar.
Do you shag the spelling and grammar though "
Obviously, and the punctuation too
Or maybe I just find poor SPAG a massive turn off because it comes across as lazy and makes a profile harder to read |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
depends who you target how you message, how good your profile and pics are and the location in relation to you  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
Your very handsome just be yourself it can take time to build a connection and good luck xx |
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"Good photos, but that status would definitely put me off, and it would be a good idea to sort out your spelling and grammar.
Do you shag the spelling and grammar though
She doesn't have to
Oh, I swear some of you finger yourselves to the dictionary "
Some of us have to like the whole man. If he expresses himself like a Neanderthal, it takes a lot away from his sex appeal. Obviously this is not about minor errors or typos. |
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Without knowing what you exactly write... Just think it takes time and many failed connections to find the right connection. Since I joined, I probably recieved over 2k messages but only 1 I liked and he eventually ghost me so we never met up. So it's alot of patience, selecting the right person is the key. |
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"Thanks for the constructive criticism it has all been taken on board. Appreciate the pointers people "
If you messages me, I would want to see more photos before speaking to you. Maybe in the photos look happy and approachable? That's what wins it for me in photos when the man sounds Happy and respectful and shows genuine interest in my profile.. I get so many copy and paste messages with men with hardly anything on their profile expecting sex right now... Massive turn off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the constructive criticism it has all been taken on board. Appreciate the pointers people
If you messages me, I would want to see more photos before speaking to you. Maybe in the photos look happy and approachable? That's what wins it for me in photos when the man sounds Happy and respectful and shows genuine interest in my profile.. I get so many copy and paste messages with men with hardly anything on their profile expecting sex right now... Massive turn off"
Im not expectant at all but i understand your view on the situation . I would much prefer to meet up with the person for a coffee somewhere public with no pressure to see how we click rather than jumping into bed with someone you know nothing about. For me its all about the build of chemistry and anticipation makes for a much better and enjoyable meet IMO. From what i read in your post do you think i dont look approachable? |
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
As I've posted countless times, just relying on this, or any other, site is exactly what you are doing wrong.
This site is only one tool in the box, sometimes a very useful one, but you need to do more.
Clubs socials Etc. will get you noticed and known.
Just firing messages off on here (no matter how good they are) may occasionally work. But most of the time they will just disappear into the forest of the unread and deleted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha
As I've posted countless times, just relying on this, or any other, site is exactly what you are doing wrong.
This site is only one tool in the box, sometimes a very useful one, but you need to do more.
Clubs socials Etc. will get you noticed and known.
Just firing messages off on here (no matter how good they are) may occasionally work. But most of the time they will just disappear into the forest of the unread and deleted. "
Thank you for the insight could you or anyone reading this thread recommend any such clubs around london? |
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha
As I've posted countless times, just relying on this, or any other, site is exactly what you are doing wrong.
This site is only one tool in the box, sometimes a very useful one, but you need to do more.
Clubs socials Etc. will get you noticed and known.
Just firing messages off on here (no matter how good they are) may occasionally work. But most of the time they will just disappear into the forest of the unread and deleted. Thank you for the insight could you or anyone reading this thread recommend any such clubs around london? "
Have a look on the Club Reviews page. They are all there, with their websites and e-mail address.
Basic research skills can be very handy. Even Google can help. |
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"well guys and girls i have had a little re jig of the my profile any feedback would be appreciated "
The general content is good but it’s hard to read because it’s a huge block with run on sentences. A busy lady might just switch off. Try breaking it up a bit. I like the pics (fabbed them of course!) and suggest the torso pic as your profile pic. It would draw me in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Competition is so high. So 95% of men get absolutely nothing. It’s like the football team at school. Not everyone has a place in the team. Men have to be exceptional or they just blend into the 1000s of similar profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi everyone. I've been having the same trouble, so found this thread and updated my profile. Would any of you lovely people like to see if it's ok? I'm very self conscious about the fact almost every paragraph starts with 'I', I hate writing about myself haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone. I've been having the same trouble, so found this thread and updated my profile. Would any of you lovely people like to see if it's ok? I'm very self conscious about the fact almost every paragraph starts with 'I', I hate writing about myself haha"
Photos are ok but put dick pic in friends only.
Profile does need work though, what do you want? What can you offer? Don't be afraid to tell people what you are looking for(we are all adults) I personally love a curvy lady and say so in my profile. Read profiles and get messaging as nothing will fall in your lap. Maybe get to a social or a club to meet new people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you know what, I'm obviously seeing this in it's revised format, but it's actually alright for someone who has asked for advice. I rarely comment on these type of threads, but well done for actually listening to people, you're in a minority.
It says you're looking for couples and ladies but your profile reads like it's very much directed at single ladies which would make us hesitate as a couple |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you know what, I'm obviously seeing this in it's revised format, but it's actually alright for someone who has asked for advice. I rarely comment on these type of threads, but well done for actually listening to people, you're in a minority.
It says you're looking for couples and ladies but your profile reads like it's very much directed at single ladies which would make us hesitate as a couple "
Thanks for taking the time to read through my profile. I did think that it may have been aimed too much at the single lady rather than couples also. Some of my favourite meets have been with couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ah oops, didn't notice that haha. Ok I'll sort that out now. Apart from that, any other bits of advice? All suggestions are welcome "
Smile.
I went alone to my first social at a club and once in and chatting it was brilliant. Go for a proper visit on Thursday so my advice is take the plunge. |
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"Thanks for the constructive criticism it has all been taken on board. Appreciate the pointers people
If you messages me, I would want to see more photos before speaking to you. Maybe in the photos look happy and approachable? That's what wins it for me in photos when the man sounds Happy and respectful and shows genuine interest in my profile.. I get so many copy and paste messages with men with hardly anything on their profile expecting sex right now... Massive turn off Im not expectant at all but i understand your view on the situation . I would much prefer to meet up with the person for a coffee somewhere public with no pressure to see how we click rather than jumping into bed with someone you know nothing about. For me its all about the build of chemistry and anticipation makes for a much better and enjoyable meet IMO. From what i read in your post do you think i dont look approachable? "
No, it's more you lose shy and abit miserable... So guess that's unappealing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
Your not going wrong we reply to anyone who sends a face pic even if it’s a no thanks you can only do your best and make the effort I’m sure it will pay off when the right people read your message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, just did a smily pic lol. Sadly I can't travel for a while, plus I don't drive. But I'll definitely look into it"
I don't drive but most clubs have rooms or crash facilities on a weekend or on special theme nights. BBW night at club shhh on Thursday is one such night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
I got a reply from the first person I messaged here and thought, 'This is nice. It'll be fun here..', since then however...Perseverance seems to be the key, and skin like armour.
Asking for advice is great, and some tips are valuable, but you could drive yourself crazy because you will never please everyone.
By the way feel free to ignore all the above, as I am in a similar position to yourself! You look fine to me (no, I'm not gay). Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
Just one of those things really.youre probably not doing anything wrong
i personally thought your profile and pics were good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could write the most considerate message possible, but if the person you're messaging doesn't fancy you, there's nothing you can do about it.
There is no magic formula |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all you fabbers just a quick thread. When messaging the lovely ladies of fab being respectful, taking the time to read a profile to try and get a jist of what they are looking for and always sending a face pic with the first message. Where am i going wrong? be kind people haha "
I think it's a great profile now...although a few more pics would be great...I'm out of your age range but I would have responded...hehehe... |
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"Change your profile a million times and start a thread like this and each time you will be given advice on what to change about it. You could go on forever.
The thing is you are a single man and that is the problem. It's never going to be easy no matter what you have on the profile.
It's become a numbers game. Message enough and you might get a reply from one of them, if you are lucky.
That's the reality online. "
I think its boils down to connection and coming across the right way. Have realistic expectations that not every person you're attracted to will reply back. But people certainly won't reply back if your profile is very limited and your messages portray someone negative, too shallow or desperate. So it's good the op recognise this and reacts in a proactive manner to improving his "odds". Good luck op. Still think a photo of you smiling can make a big difference. However I only give out face photos to people I'm seriously interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your profile a million times and start a thread like this and each time you will be given advice on what to change about it. You could go on forever.
The thing is you are a single man and that is the problem. It's never going to be easy no matter what you have on the profile.
It's become a numbers game. Message enough and you might get a reply from one of them, if you are lucky.
That's the reality online.
I think its boils down to connection and coming across the right way. Have realistic expectations that not every person you're attracted to will reply back. But people certainly won't reply back if your profile is very limited and your messages portray someone negative, too shallow or desperate. So it's good the op recognise this and reacts in a proactive manner to improving his "odds". Good luck op. Still think a photo of you smiling can make a big difference. However I only give out face photos to people I'm seriously interested. "
can you advise me and be my mentor |
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