FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Couples how many single guys get stage fright?
Couples how many single guys get stage fright?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most, that's why we would only ever meet someone with a verification from another couple (if possible who we know) we think confidence comes with experience, but of corse there is always the exception to the rule xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression. "
I think you are right on the 'not thinking it through' front.
We appreciate that meeting a single fem must be much easier than playing with a couple.
Do you think it is some guys fantasy to have mfm? Then it just isn't what they had in mind?
Is it easier if the extra 'm' is bi? Just to make it less intimidating? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Most, that's why we would only ever meet someone with a verification from another couple (if possible who we know) we think confidence comes with experience, but of corse there is always the exception to the rule xx"
This is true, we always check veris first but do you think sometimes couples might tweek their veri to be kinder on the 'm' if the performance wasn't great. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression.
I think you are right on the 'not thinking it through' front.
We appreciate that meeting a single fem must be much easier than playing with a couple.
Do you think it is some guys fantasy to have mfm? Then it just isn't what they had in mind?
Is it easier if the extra 'm' is bi? Just to make it less intimidating? "
Ohh 100% - a lot of guys watch porn & want to reproduce what they watch... until it actually comes down to it.
Personally, I never have an issue & im 100% straight.... but yes - I’d say cater your searches towards bi men & it’ll be a lot easier for you!
Then they’ll be there to please both of you in a way - plus they’re more likely to be at ease around the both of you  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression.
I think you are right on the 'not thinking it through' front.
We appreciate that meeting a single fem must be much easier than playing with a couple.
Do you think it is some guys fantasy to have mfm? Then it just isn't what they had in mind?
Is it easier if the extra 'm' is bi? Just to make it less intimidating?
Ohh 100% - a lot of guys watch porn & want to reproduce what they watch... until it actually comes down to it.
Personally, I never have an issue & im 100% straight.... but yes - I’d say cater your searches towards bi men & it’ll be a lot easier for you!
Then they’ll be there to please both of you in a way - plus they’re more likely to be at ease around the both of you "
LOL.. Thought of becoming fabs local therapist?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most, that's why we would only ever meet someone with a verification from another couple (if possible who we know) we think confidence comes with experience, but of corse there is always the exception to the rule xx
This is true, we always check veris first but do you think sometimes couples might tweek their veri to be kinder on the 'm' if the performance wasn't great. "
Yes that's why we would always look for someone who has already met couples we know ,over someone who just has a lot of verifications |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" Yes that's why we would always look for someone who has already met couples we know ,over someone who just has a lot of verifications "
That makes sense!
Thank you  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue. "
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nasuitMan
over a year ago
Ruislip |
Depends entirely on the level of connection with me, if I've had time to get to know the couple a bit and understand what they are looking for then everything usually works well.
There is an element of being comfortable with the guy as well, not necessarily sexually but just understanding your role in the couple dynamic. You are not a replacement you're an extra.
In situations where I've just rushed into a room with a couple at a club after 2 minutes I've had erection issues and also on occasion cum very quickly (once while I was putting the condom on  ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I usually reassure guys in a group situation. I like to tell them they are doing very well to give them a bit of confidence. I love a good orgy and I'm often seen playing on the stage at club SX Blackpool or in the cinema room at Quest. I think I might be a bit of an exhibitionist.. Lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue.
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!! "
And only one verification in 7 years off a woman (then they say iv met loads of couples in clubs ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue.
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!! "
Same old problem with the few dreamers spoiling it for the others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I usually reassure guys in a group situation. I like to tell them they are doing very well to give them a bit of confidence. I love a good orgy and I'm often seen playing on the stage at club SX Blackpool or in the cinema room at Quest. I think I might be a bit of an exhibitionist.. Lol "
Maybe this is what we should look for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression.
I think you are right on the 'not thinking it through' front.
We appreciate that meeting a single fem must be much easier than playing with a couple.
Do you think it is some guys fantasy to have mfm? Then it just isn't what they had in mind?
Is it easier if the extra 'm' is bi? Just to make it less intimidating?
Ohh 100% - a lot of guys watch porn & want to reproduce what they watch... until it actually comes down to it.
Personally, I never have an issue & im 100% straight.... but yes - I’d say cater your searches towards bi men & it’ll be a lot easier for you!
Then they’ll be there to please both of you in a way - plus they’re more likely to be at ease around the both of you
LOL.. Thought of becoming fabs local therapist? "
Funnily enough people do come to me for advice because I give an unbiased overview of the situation & can normally fix the problem or issue.
Comes with my job - have direct reports & being able to bullshit in meetings! Hahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most, that's why we would only ever meet someone with a verification from another couple (if possible who we know) we think confidence comes with experience, but of corse there is always the exception to the rule xx
This is true, we always check veris first but do you think sometimes couples might tweek their veri to be kinder on the 'm' if the performance wasn't great.
Yes that's why we would always look for someone who has already met couples we know ,over someone who just has a lot of verifications "
been there done that read the veris the gang bangs hes played in with friends of ours , then he cum in his pants just watching her play with her toys |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue.
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!!
And only one verification in 7 years off a woman (then they say iv met loads of couples in clubs ) "
lol, yes, but there are more places to meet people than fab.... x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think the request of condoms really affects performance too???  "
No but yes - unless they’re wearing the wrong size of condoms...
I’d consider myself above average - but can perform with a condom on or off. If the condom is too small then yes I’ll suffer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Definatley its the thought that turns the guys on and porn but when the cold hard (or not) light of day hits the reality is very different, they cant cope with the dynamics.
Happens with socials too. Met a few guys and the social is great, sexy talk on messages on run up to meet and then a day or two before play day they go quiet.
We put this down to nerves. They realize they are about to have a threesome and things like proximity male/male issues kick in and they just cant go through with it. We totally understand this but get miffed with the ghosting.
Another element that with thorough thought becomes terrifying we'd imagine is realizing that you are about to enter a dynamic where the couple knows each other intimately, there likes, dislikes, what turns them on, what makes them cum etc and just turning up as a stunt cock may not be enough.
Either that or we are just not hot enough  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Definatley its the thought that turns the guys on and porn but when the cold hard (or not) light of day hits the reality is very different, they cant cope with the dynamics.
Happens with socials too. Met a few guys and the social is great, sexy talk on messages on run up to meet and then a day or two before play day they go quiet.
We put this down to nerves. They realize they are about to have a threesome and things like proximity male/male issues kick in and they just cant go through with it. We totally understand this but get miffed with the ghosting.
Another element that with thorough thought becomes terrifying we'd imagine is realizing that you are about to enter a dynamic where the couple knows each other intimately, there likes, dislikes, what turns them on, what makes them cum etc and just turning up as a stunt cock may not be enough.
Either that or we are just not hot enough "
Well that bottom question/statement is irrelevant - I just peep’d into your public gallery. Trust me, you’re fine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Do you think the close male male contact affects some people.
E.g.if two women brush breasts we don't suddenly become unaroused, quite the opposite. But in mfm guys are going to get close at some point.
Surely that is expected? Or do some guys not realise that?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Definatley its the thought that turns the guys on and porn but when the cold hard (or not) light of day hits the reality is very different, they cant cope with the dynamics.
Happens with socials too. Met a few guys and the social is great, sexy talk on messages on run up to meet and then a day or two before play day they go quiet.
We put this down to nerves. They realize they are about to have a threesome and things like proximity male/male issues kick in and they just cant go through with it. We totally understand this but get miffed with the ghosting.
Another element that with thorough thought becomes terrifying we'd imagine is realizing that you are about to enter a dynamic where the couple knows each other intimately, there likes, dislikes, what turns them on, what makes them cum etc and just turning up as a stunt cock may not be enough.
Either that or we are just not hot enough
Well that bottom question/statement is irrelevant - I just peep’d into your public gallery. Trust me, you’re fine "
Well thank you kind sir |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue.
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!!
And only one verification in 7 years off a woman (then they say iv met loads of couples in clubs )
lol, yes, but there are more places to meet people than fab.... x"
Ow yes sorry I forgot about the 100s of other places couples go other than fab and clubs to have sex with single men |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think the close male male contact affects some people.
E.g.if two women brush breasts we don't suddenly become unaroused, quite the opposite. But in mfm guys are going to get close at some point.
Surely that is expected? Or do some guys not realise that?
"
I wouldn’t consider that as much of an issue. But yes it’s apart of it.
Just think - some men aren’t even comfortable getting naked in a room full of blokes!
After my rugby games - there is still some men that will put a towel around themselves & aren’t comfortable showing themselves infront of everyone.
I’d just list out what you like/dislike & see how they respond - are they comfortable DP’ing for instance - are they comfortable with a double blowjob? Too many factors to pin-point the exact issue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" Either that or we are just not hot enough "
I often get thank hang up too
Either we were too hot or not hot?
Maybe you were too hot and that is what caused the issue??  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you think the close male male contact affects some people.
E.g.if two women brush breasts we don't suddenly become unaroused, quite the opposite. But in mfm guys are going to get close at some point.
Surely that is expected? Or do some guys not realise that?
"
I dont think they quite realise. Seeing a guys willie in the showers is one thing but when its a few inches away and hard things may change |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Either that or we are just not hot enough
Well that bottom question/statement is irrelevant - I just peep’d into your public gallery. Trust me, you’re fine
Well thank you kind sir"
You’re two are very welcome! Happy fabbing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Either that or we are just not hot enough
I often get thank hang up too
Either we were too hot or not hot?
Maybe you were too hot and that is what caused the issue?? "
Thanks, well run with the last one lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
On our 'hypothetical' occasion 
It just didn't even begin.....
I mean nothing we as a couple or us suggesting would have triggered the panic...
It was more... Pure STAGE FRIGHT!!!
HYPOTHETICALLY  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On our 'hypothetical' occasion
It just didn't even begin.....
I mean nothing we as a couple or us suggesting would have triggered the panic...
It was more... Pure STAGE FRIGHT!!!
HYPOTHETICALLY "
And that’s all it is - think nothing more of it. Some men can back their chat - some can’t. Just about finding a way to work out if they’re really about what they talk about or if it’s jsut one big fantasy.
Get yourself a lil questionnaire going hahaha & also veri’s! You’ll be fine - hopefully come across less dreamers&timewasters |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot."
========================================
It's possible that it was his first time with a couple. I can understand that he might be overwhelmed by the newness of the situation, especially if he's new to 3somes. I had my first 3some at the age of 14 and it was fantastic. Many since, and always terrific. To be honest, I prefer MMF to 121 meets. Incredibly exciting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Either that or we are just not hot enough
I often get thank hang up too
Either we were too hot or not hot?
Maybe you were too hot and that is what caused the issue??
Thanks, well run with the last one lol"
Yes lots of men are intimidated by a sexy woman who knows what she wants and how to get, it's just a shame that means she dosnt get it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot.
========================================
It's possible that it was his first time with a couple. I can understand that he might be overwhelmed by the newness of the situation, especially if he's new to 3somes. I had my first 3some at the age of 14 and it was fantastic. Many since, and always terrific. To be honest, I prefer MMF to 121 meets. Incredibly exciting."
And this is why we were curious. You have to find someone so likemindedly into mfm that they know the game inside out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Either that or we are just not hot enough
I often get thank hang up too
Either we were too hot or not hot?
Maybe you were too hot and that is what caused the issue??
Thanks, well run with the last one lol
Yes lots of men are intimidated by a sexy woman who knows what she wants and how to get, it's just a shame that means she dosnt get it "
PMSL |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue.
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!! "
Our issue is that they don’t show up or vanish before final plans  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have played with couples, I love it and never had an issue.
Unfortunately that can be the line guys use when you ask them. Then they meet and go to pieces!!!
Our issue is that they don’t show up or vanish before final plans "
Same here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’d add a vote to the experience thing, I appreciate its a chicken and egg thing of how do you get experience etc but once you’ve met with couples before the stage fright just isn’t there - I just feel the excitement and anticipation of it although I did looking back feel a little nervous the first time, didn’t need to be though as the couple were fine and it all went fantastic - since then haven’t looked back! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Used to happen to us quite often when we played as a couple, we didn’t play with single guys at that point only other couples but there were many times the male counterpart struggled...that’s one of the reasons we decided to have single profiles...I wasn’t getting much fun.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
It is a shame when you get sent such a 'proud' and 'promising dick pic'...
But then...
A) radio silence on meet day
B) Stage fright
Resulting in
C) No play due to lack of male participation...
Never actually had a guy run off yet though... Always one to look forward to
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is a shame when you get sent such a 'proud' and 'promising dick pic'...
But then...
A) radio silence on meet day
B) Stage fright
Resulting in
C) No play due to lack of male participation...
Never actually had a guy run off yet though... Always one to look forward to
"
HERE - have penis pic. I grew it myself 
Hahaha - some people. You’ll find what you’re looking for eventually. Just don’t get disheartened |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It happens in clubs as well we have come across males who when in a group situation can't get hard or stay hard to get a condom on Correctly.
As the male of a couple I personally have a viagra on a club night because a, knowing I've had it helps takes those few nerves away and b, once I'm hard and I will stay hard even when I'm not been directly played with.
If I was a single male I'd take a viagra before a meet or club night x$ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ive had guys that have 'condom droop', needless to say, that was the end of things as there was no further play. "
So what did you do next? Just walk away, laugh it off?
What is the most diplomatic approach? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We’ve had this. It’s never been an issue for us as it’s always been resolved. I think nerves are natural, no matter how many encounters you have had. You never know how it’s going to plan out when you first meet someone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Used to happen to us quite often when we played as a couple, we didn’t play with single guys at that point only other couples but there were many times the male counterpart struggled...that’s one of the reasons we decided to have single profiles...I wasn’t getting much fun...."
We have found this happens a lot. It did lead to Mouse eventually getting quite upset in the belief she was not turning the guys on.
An odd one yes, but not as many as we were getting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Ive had guys that have 'condom droop', needless to say, that was the end of things as there was no further play.
So what did you do next? Just walk away, laugh it off?
What is the most diplomatic approach? "
Made it clear that no condom, no penetration after they have tried to persuade me otherwise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Used to happen to us quite often when we played as a couple, we didn’t play with single guys at that point only other couples but there were many times the male counterpart struggled...that’s one of the reasons we decided to have single profiles...I wasn’t getting much fun....
We have found this happens a lot. It did lead to Mouse eventually getting quite upset in the belief she was not turning the guys on.
An odd one yes, but not as many as we were getting."
Yes I felt exactly the same, wasn’t enjoying it anymore |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
im gonna say this but some wont like it ...there are guys on here who know they have problems in the dick department but chance it just to have some fun they give it all the big ones then blame it on something else at the time as long as they have had a bit of fore play and have cum they dont give a toss about the woman.
now before it rains with outcries i said some.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot."
some guys are allergic to latex they maybe dont even know they are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
we have had two guys that went a bit on the soft side, and for the want of trying never rose again, but it must be very daunting to go and meet a couple after all there are two in the couple and he is going in from the outside, and some single guys do have to start at the beginning , then you meet the guys that have experience under there belt and can keep hard all night long, and spunk like a train, everyone has to start from somewhere,, I remember our first time with a single guy, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have had 4 men I think who have failed to perform. Some we haven't really discussed it with but one of them who was new to fab, we were his 1st couple, said he found it strange, like he was intruding on our relationship. A few months later we invited him again and it happened again.
In between our 2 meets he had lots of meets with single ladies and socials with couples where he went on to meet the female halves alone for play (so hubby's went for the social just to check him out) and from his veris it sounds like he performs OK so it seems like he definately subconsciously cannot cope with hubby being present for the actual play. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"im gonna say this but some wont like it ...there are guys on here who know they have problems in the dick department but chance it just to have some fun they give it all the big ones then blame it on something else at the time as long as they have had a bit of fore play and have cum they dont give a toss about the woman.
now before it rains with outcries i said some.."
No outcry here - I have wondered this... Orgasm all round are essential to an amazing meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We have had 4 men I think who have failed to perform. Some we haven't really discussed it with but one of them who was new to fab, we were his 1st couple, said he found it strange, like he was intruding on our relationship. A few months later we invited him again and it happened again.
In between our 2 meets he had lots of meets with single ladies and socials with couples where he went on to meet the female halves alone for play (so hubby's went for the social just to check him out) and from his veris it sounds like he performs OK so it seems like he definately subconsciously cannot cope with hubby being present for the actual play. "
Yes it does appear there are those who just want to be with the wife without hubby and understandably find it off putting being watched, or be in the same room, as hubby. We are quite clear on our profile that we don't cuckold and that DVP is very much enjoyed. This is a clear indication that it is mfm not fm.
Explains a lot! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Instead of making fun of them, maybe some gentle reassurance would be better "
cmon making fun of them is more fun it ain't easy getting it up when you don't fancy them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just for balance I've experienced the opposite effect. When hubby couldn't get hard. They seemed totally unfazed and he stood and then sat watching playing with his soft cock. Had a good time with the lady and it wasn't mentioned after whilst we chilled and chatted. I got the impression it wasn't the first time and they just rolled with it. It happens I guess |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Gosh no, We would never make fun of anyone. By laughing it off, I mean a little bit of kind humour about it and not making it a big deal.
I would hate for anyone to feel embarrassed. This is a sensitive business. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have had dreamers thinking we will "teach "them the MMF way thats not how it works or what we are about as newbies ourselves but had so many get cold feet or COCK and ghost us last min ,so we tend to go for guys who have done it before but saying that had one who couldnt perform ,which for hubby isnt good as he needs help to share and pleasure me (dont get started on hi bi side ),but i totally understand you would need to be a confidant guy to enter a room with a couple who know each other inside and out and perform with them ,but we are grateful for the many great meets we have had and hope to have ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You all are talking about single men... It happened to Marc twice I think... we started an “action” with another couple or two M joined us and what ??? And his cock just stopped working with no reason.
He just said it was a feeling like someone shutdown an electricity in one moment.
This was so strange as we have some experience. He was upset and recovered next day evening. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Instead of making fun of them, maybe some gentle reassurance would be better "
To clarify, I am not making fun, I am relaying an experience and in the example I gave the guy was willing to share what he felt and I actually have alot of sympathy for them and for any others we have talked to since, the genuine ones have nerves about being in a situation where the other parties are madly in love, feeling like they are intruding even though they were invited and worrying they are going to overstep boundaries in the heat of the moment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot."
I think that it is a little bit too simplistic to put this down to purely nerves or stage fright. There are loads of factors that can give rise (pun intended!) to this situation.
I can recall a time with a couple on here, where everything was going swimmingly - they were a real friendly couple and she was awesome! One thing led to another and we ended up in the bedroom and at first everything was just perfect. I can vividly remember though looking up from the excellent blow job that I was getting, to see Mr get his cock out and it was impossibly huge! He then proceeded to fuck his wife at a real breakneck pace, non stop for about 20 minutes...
I just felt so inferior in that moment! Always thought that I was reasonably endowed, but he was just ridiculous, and God knows what he had taken to be able to go like the clappers for so long without so much as stopping for a breath. I felt so inferior that I could feel myself losing it, not through any stage fright, but more from the feeling that I could never live up to that size and speed!
Luckily I managed to battle through, and it was an amazing meet in the end. Just illustrates that it might not always be as simple as someone being a blagger or suffering stage fright though.
Oh, and unfortunately the couple in question are no longer on the site. I can imagine that a few of you would want to look them up as I have never in years of swinging seen anything quite like Mr's performance that night!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it depends on all 3 of the people involved and their sexual orientation.
The guy's 'crossing swords' and coming into very close contact, wouldn't be an issue among open minded, broadminded, or curious guys.
I've met couples twice and it's been great fun, although it only involved us wanking for her, and no condoms were not used . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To any woman who thinks they are not turning on the guy, it's definitely not the case. If the guy went hard and then became soft, it's because the guy is over excited and thinking too much in the situation. There is always this annoying thought of leaving an impression and being the best fuck, the lady has ever had. It's silly and unrealistic but such thoughts cross the mind. And while this happens, the best fuck quickly becomes a no fuck...
I have experienced it at times, and I recover with a patient and kind couple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To any woman who thinks they are not turning on the guy, it's definitely not the case. If the guy went hard and then became soft, it's because the guy is over excited and thinking too much in the situation. There is always this annoying thought of leaving an impression and being the best fuck, the lady has ever had. It's silly and unrealistic but such thoughts cross the mind. And while this happens, the best fuck quickly becomes a no fuck...
I have experienced it at times, and I recover with a patient and kind couple. "
Thank you for this honesty
Fortunately we have always managed to bring the guy round and get him back in the mood, but your right it does take the right couple and patience I suppose. We are all human and not ACTUAL porn stars (although practice makes perfect ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've had one MMF long before I joined this site and I was nervous being around another guy, but I was fine getting and maintaining an erection, I just felt a bit awkward and didn't really move. He eventually left the room to let me and his girlfriend have some alone time together, which was better because I could get into it more.
Only time I ever struggled to get an erection was when it was just me and a lass, again long before this site, which was embarrassing and frustrating.
My problem was that I struggled to ejaculate. I've had a few one night stands with lasses and I either never finished at all or had to finish myself by hand.
The first few times my ex and I had sex, again I either never finished or got myself off. Then maybe after the fourth or fifth time, it could take me up to an hour to finish. I'd like to say it took me less time to climax the more times we had sex, but I honestly can't remember.
She thought it was because of her, so I had to assure her that it was just performance anxiety. I probably do overthink things during it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I did feel bad that the guy left the room and I even told them as such when we were having a drink afterwards, but they were both really understanding and assured me that they've experienced it before. They told me that the best way to put guys like me at ease was for the boyfriend to leave us alone after he'd come and their reasoning was that they wanted all of us to have a good time.
If that meant turning an MMF meet into a regular solo meet then they were happy doing that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
I have anxiety and performance issues myself and that's the reason I like guys to make sure Char gets more than I can sometimes provide, so often I'm the one feeling like I have to explain to the third party.
But Char is very understanding and would be fine if the extra guy had issues....just as long as he had a willing tongue and fingers
Bry (and Charlotte) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
If its happening frequently op the common denominator is you.
PErhaps its what you are doing or not doing.
Only person(s) that can answer your "hypothetical" situation is the folk that were there.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Lots of good advice on here. Don't have a problem myself as sports changing rooms gets rid of the comfortable around other naked men easy to get used too. As I meet mostly couples I haven't yet found a partner who is anything less than encouraging.
The age card means I last a lot longer, and I'm only ever concerned the lady, although well satisfied, misses that final accolade. But most understand quite well it doesn't always happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I've had one MMF long before I joined this site and I was nervous being around another guy, but I was fine getting and maintaining an erection, I just felt a bit awkward and didn't really move. He eventually left the room to let me and his girlfriend have some alone time together, which was better because I could get into it more.
Only time I ever struggled to get an erection was when it was just me and a lass, again long before this site, which was embarrassing and frustrating.
My problem was that I struggled to ejaculate. I've had a few one night stands with lasses and I either never finished at all or had to finish myself by hand.
The first few times my ex and I had sex, again I either never finished or got myself off. Then maybe after the fourth or fifth time, it could take me up to an hour to finish. I'd like to say it took me less time to climax the more times we had sex, but I honestly can't remember.
She thought it was because of her, so I had to assure her that it was just performance anxiety. I probably do overthink things during it.
"
That’s your issue (history or whatever) ... not their issue fella |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Interesting.
Being single guy.
Most times with a couple. The man had let me and the girl carry on a bit to start. Before he joins himself.
This does make me feel relaxed and enjoy it all the more. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression.
I think you are right on the 'not thinking it through' front.
We appreciate that meeting a single fem must be much easier than playing with a couple.
Do you think it is some guys fantasy to have mfm? Then it just isn't what they had in mind?
Is it easier if the extra 'm' is bi? Just to make it less intimidating?
Ohh 100% - a lot of guys watch porn & want to reproduce what they watch... until it actually comes down to it.
Personally, I never have an issue & im 100% straight.... but yes - I’d say cater your searches towards bi men & it’ll be a lot easier for you!
Then they’ll be there to please both of you in a way - plus they’re more likely to be at ease around the both of you "
YES! you have hit the nail on the head.
I went to bukakke with some preconceived ideas. I have to day unfortunately never again . i did not even play it was but you know i just got there and realised it was not for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
As from my perspective in the early days of meeting up with Couples in particular, it was a case of often thinking, "will I match the Male partner or their joint expectations, thus meaning a bout of nerves would kick in & an inevitable result!
But over time, I have found that with advance planning talking and arranging matters with everyone concerned plus on arrival at someone else's place, there has to be a settling in period, say, 30 minutes at least, when you can put all you've sorted out so far into practice mentally and evaluate from there.
That said, when the fun starts itself, I am always nervous for the first few minutes, but I reckon that's possibly the same with everyone till relaxation sets in.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ardineMan
over a year ago
brandon |
We have met couples before and then met the other couple on my own. Another time I met the wife while my wife met the hubby separately.
Great fun both times but as we had met before there was definitely no stage fright (not that it’s a problem anyway) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Stage fright?
What’s that?
All jokes aside, it is a dauntin prospect playing with a couple if you’re not experienced.
But if you’re in a relaxed frame of mind, remembering they’re probably as nervous as you, go with the flow and if they’re a non pushy couple, then all three of you should have a good time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot."
A lot  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I met someone at the weekend who couldn't keep hard with a condom. Unfortunately there are many men who don't ensure they're good to go with condoms and then disappoint on the night. You'd think a young, single guy would be well practiced but not always. They need to start wanking using condoms and get used to them! I think the guy I was with was hopeful I'd get so horny that'd I'd just say "fuck it, forget the condom". Needless to say that didn't happen. I feel your frustration but I do feel for the guys too who are under a lot of pressure to perform. It's a tricky one x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As a newbie to site and someone who has asked about threesomes, I’m very interested in what you experienced couples are saying. I’m sure I’d be nervous whether with a single or a couple, but hopefully as I have told the couple beforehand that I’ve not done this before, they would give some guidance before and during the meeting. Confidence comes from others reassurance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *d4ugirlsMan
over a year ago
Green Cove Springs |
Been lucky enough to have mot had any issues.
Think it boils down to being totally turned on and focused at being with a couple.
Being aware of what you are getting yourself into. There is going to be close contact at times with each. The guys might touch, be mature get over it.
Find the oppurtunity to be with a couple and watching a female let her inhibitions go and find pleasure in two males there for her pleasure is extremely erotic.
Do not think the verification is necessarily a good indicator when making a choice. Have unfortunately so far a few meets off of here where neither of us has had the first veri, so therefore unable to leave verifications.
Happy fabbing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The way I see it 9 out of 10 times given the choice most men would choose having the woman on her own rather than sharing her with her partner. I think for many men the 3some with a couple is more a means to an end to get laid with said woman. It's more about just getting laid than actually finding a 3some with a loving couple a masive turn on. So often in their mind they just imagine the awesome sex their going to have with the female and put to the back of their mind the other male she actually has great connection and chemistry with will be their too (and maybe calling the shots). This is all cool until the reality comes home to roost. Men need to be turned on to perform. When push comes to shove it's not the turn on he thought it would be having to share her with a guy who is not attracted to (maybe be very straight) who also knows her inside out. He may feel quite the fish out of water or a spare part (possibly exacerbated by the couples attitude towards him or lack of attention to him). Also often singles (any gender) can feel like they are simply a live sex toy to the couple. Basicly it turns out it's not as hot and horny as he thought it would be and it's hello Mr Floppy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Think it boils down to being totally turned on and focused at being with a couple.
"
The guy I referred to was totally turned on when we started playing, but lost it before the point of entry. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Happened the other way round with me I met a couple and we had agreed double penetration I was hard as a rock but the man in the couple just couldn't get hard. I felt so sorry for him as he tried his best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it 9 out of 10 times given the choice most men would choose having the woman on her own rather than sharing her with her partner. I think for many men the 3some with a couple is more a means to an end to get laid with said woman. It's more about just getting laid than actually finding a 3some with a loving couple a masive turn on. "
Totally agree with this, I think men just want the sex and getting sex with a woman is the end game, my hubby is just the means to the end. Now he's having lots of success with single ladies and with the female halves of couples who are willing and able to meet him alone, we have agreed we will not try again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd say the majority of our experiences have resulted in single men not standing up to the task.
We found it's extremely common that nerves become an issue and often struggle to enjoy the meet properly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most, that's why we would only ever meet someone with a verification from another couple (if possible who we know) we think confidence comes with experience, but of corse there is always the exception to the rule xx
This is true, we always check veris first but do you think sometimes couples might tweek their veri to be kinder on the 'm' if the performance wasn't great. "
Nobody gives “bad” verifications? Surely you just say nothing if it wasn’t a great meet?
We had someone bail on us mid meet, you know who you are if you’re still stalking us!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it 9 out of 10 times given the choice most men would choose having the woman on her own rather than sharing her with her partner. I think for many men the 3some with a couple is more a means to an end to get laid with said woman. It's more about just getting laid than actually finding a 3some with a loving couple a masive turn on. So often in their mind they just imagine the awesome sex their going to have with the female and put to the back of their mind the other male she actually has great connection and chemistry with will be their too (and maybe calling the shots). This is all cool until the reality comes home to roost. Men need to be turned on to perform. When push comes to shove it's not the turn on he thought it would be having to share her with a guy who is not attracted to (maybe be very straight) who also knows her inside out. He may feel quite the fish out of water or a spare part (possibly exacerbated by the couples attitude towards him or lack of attention to him). Also often singles (any gender) can feel like they are simply a live sex toy to the couple. Basicly it turns out it's not as hot and horny as he thought it would be and it's hello Mr Floppy. "
-------------------------------------
Interesting first sentence of your's. I personally prefer MMF sex with the husband and wife together at the start of the meet (even though it often develops with mutual consent that the girl and I progress to further sex alone afterwards). After all, it's their wanting an extra man sexually in a threesome that is their initial preference. Its always incredibly arousing for me to know that the couple want me to have sex with them both involved (generally the husband watching and wanting to have his wife serviced sexually in front of him) and for me to know that the desire is intense in them both. The MMF dynamic is always complex and always exciting for the participants. And that joint awareness always ensures that my erections are massive and muscular. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it 9 out of 10 times given the choice most men would choose having the woman on her own rather than sharing her with her partner. I think for many men the 3some with a couple is more a means to an end to get laid with said woman. It's more about just getting laid than actually finding a 3some with a loving couple a masive turn on. So often in their mind they just imagine the awesome sex their going to have with the female and put to the back of their mind the other male she actually has great connection and chemistry with will be their too (and maybe calling the shots). This is all cool until the reality comes home to roost. Men need to be turned on to perform. When push comes to shove it's not the turn on he thought it would be having to share her with a guy who is not attracted to (maybe be very straight) who also knows her inside out. He may feel quite the fish out of water or a spare part (possibly exacerbated by the couples attitude towards him or lack of attention to him). Also often singles (any gender) can feel like they are simply a live sex toy to the couple. Basicly it turns out it's not as hot and horny as he thought it would be and it's hello Mr Floppy.
-------------------------------------
Interesting first sentence of your's. I personally prefer MMF sex with the husband and wife together at the start of the meet (even though it often develops with mutual consent that the girl and I progress to further sex alone afterwards). After all, it's their wanting an extra man sexually in a threesome that is their initial preference. Its always incredibly arousing for me to know that the couple want me to have sex with them both involved (generally the husband watching and wanting to have his wife serviced sexually in front of him) and for me to know that the desire is intense in them both. The MMF dynamic is always complex and always exciting for the participants. And that joint awareness always ensures that my erections are massive and muscular."
The real trick is finding the single guys who are truly looking for the MMF rather than the ones who just want to fuck a woman really.
I'm straight but to get involved in an MMF you need to be comfortable around other guys. I've been in positions in mffs where I had to rest my arm on his shoulder to keep my balance etc.
KJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *niper oneMan
over a year ago
DERBY/Notts border |
"Ok a few meets over the years and once or twice we have had the situation where the guy gets really nervous and cannot maintain his erection. Usually when it comes to condom time. Some single guys think they can perform with a couple but just cannot."
easy without a condom
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *niper oneMan
over a year ago
DERBY/Notts border |
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression.
I think you are right on the 'not thinking it through' front.
We appreciate that meeting a single fem must be much easier than playing with a couple.
Do you think it is some guys fantasy to have mfm? Then it just isn't what they had in mind?
Is it easier if the extra 'm' is bi? Just to make it less intimidating? Been with lots of couples all different ages nothing that exciting and never been
Ohh 100% - a lot of guys watch porn & want to reproduce what they watch... until it actually comes down to it.
Personally, I never have an issue & im 100% straight.... but yes - I’d say cater your searches towards bi men & it’ll be a lot easier for you!
Then they’ll be there to please both of you in a way - plus they’re more likely to be at ease around the both of you "
Been wih plenty of couples all different ages never been that exciting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I have had similar experiences as a single female as well as previously when I was in a couple.
Definitely condoms seem to be an issue for some. I have non latex large ones (although I would never meet a guy again if they didn’t bring their own)
Actually there are sadly just a lot of guys that are generally crap at sex..... and yes definitely some veris are definitely WAY too kind!!
All part of the fabbing fun lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The vast majority of guys we've met have been able to perform.I can only think of 3 guys out of a total of 50 or 60 who couldn't. As others have said condoms can be an issue for some men but we don't play without them.
Mike |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I have had similar experiences as a single female as well as previously when I was in a couple.
Definitely condoms seem to be an issue for some. I have non latex large ones (although I would never meet a guy again if they didn’t bring their own)
Actually there are sadly just a lot of guys that are generally crap at sex..... and yes definitely some veris are definitely WAY too kind!!
All part of the fabbing fun lol"
"A lot of guys are generally crap...." are you offering your experience or speaking on behalf of others?.
In the former ..you're the common denominator..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean - maybe they’re intimidated by the husband/partner being there & didn’t think it through properly.
Just think about it - you’re having sex with another man’s partner at the same time he is.
A lot of men simply can’t handle that fact or feel a sense of worry Incase they don’t make a good impression. "
Kinda the problem I face is that. Indulging in another man's woman while he is there. Only used to the Married play away types. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have had a few mmf meets in the past, only once I didn't perform but it was more down to the set up , I'm not comfortable in someone's family home for instance.. in a club I was always ok, no issues .. but that once did put me off and I stopped meeting couples .. plus a guy tickled my balls and I'm straight, I just thought one on one works better |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"I have had similar experiences as a single female as well as previously when I was in a couple.
Definitely condoms seem to be an issue for some. I have non latex large ones (although I would never meet a guy again if they didn’t bring their own)
Actually there are sadly just a lot of guys that are generally crap at sex..... and yes definitely some veris are definitely WAY too kind!!
All part of the fabbing fun lol
"A lot of guys are generally crap...." are you offering your experience or speaking on behalf of others?.
In the former ..you're the common denominator..
"
Yes I am very hard to please!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"I have had similar experiences as a single female as well as previously when I was in a couple.
Definitely condoms seem to be an issue for some. I have non latex large ones (although I would never meet a guy again if they didn’t bring their own)
Actually there are sadly just a lot of guys that are generally crap at sex..... and yes definitely some veris are definitely WAY too kind!!
All part of the fabbing fun lol
"A lot of guys are generally crap...." are you offering your experience or speaking on behalf of others?.
In the former ..you're the common denominator..
Yes I am very hard to please!! "
Also I worked as an Ann Summers party organiser for 7 years . Women talk!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stage fright is something I have been thinking about. I'm inexperienced with couples but would like to try more.
But I would like to get to know people and feel comfortable with them rather than jumping into bed with complete strangers and expecting everything to be perfect.
Some couples profiles on here seem to have high expectations.
I'm still searching for a couple that are prepared to take things at a slightly more natural pace. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
Your hard on start in your brain so you need to have the to understand that.
For me I have no body issues cock issue or performance issues and the condom is a must use part.
So I have no mr softy worries and lots of experience over many years and comfortable in all situations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
