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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hi,
I am divorced and I took some time to understand what I really want, out of my next relationship. I went around, attending parties, meeting people and having my share of fun.
I have realised that a purely vanilla relationship is not for me. And I don't want to do NSA meet-ups anymore. I am looking for something serious. I want someone with whom I share an connection both on and off the bed. Someone who shares similar desires in swinging and kink as me and is also a partner to me outside of that. How do I go about it?
It would be weird to talk about swinging and kink in dating sites. I see many swinging couples here. It would be nice to know how you ended up together  Did you guys know about each other's desires before you started a relationship? Or did you talk about it after that? Any pointers on how to go about it would be helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps find yourself a woman like me who is in an open marriage and is looking for a long term boyfriend  "
Yes. That would work as well. Too bad that you live far away though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps find yourself a woman like me who is in an open marriage and is looking for a long term boyfriend
Yes. That would work as well. Too bad that you live far away though."
Tried that but unfortunately it didn't work as she decided that she wanted more time here. Now I've decided to stay single without the issues of relationships! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Vanilla dating sites are overwhelmed with guys who use them pretty much like Fab.
I think it very much depends on the person you're messaging- a lot of women (and men) have been damaged by secretive sexualized behaviour, so tread carefully.
I've met some lovely people who metaphorically turn purple when you mention non missionary position bedroom activities!
Maybe local munches or socials would be a venue to meet kinky folks for a more sustainable connection? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Vanilla dating sites are overwhelmed with guys who use them pretty much like Fab.
I think it very much depends on the person you're messaging- a lot of women (and men) have been damaged by secretive sexualized behaviour, so tread carefully.
I've met some lovely people who metaphorically turn purple when you mention non missionary position bedroom activities!
Maybe local munches or socials would be a venue to meet kinky folks for a more sustainable connection? "
Yes. That's something I am planning to do next. Participate in social events for kinky folks rather than play parties. |
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Aside from advice already given about things to attend in person, I know a lot of my kink friends use ok Cupid as apparently it's pretty kink and non-monogamy friendly in the way it works. I haven't used it myself so I can't really comment on it beyond that it's popular with kinksters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met at a fetish social, first date was the BBB in Birmingham and then we worked the vanilla stuff back from there, now over 4 years on and amazingly happy, so yes, get yourself out there.;) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aside from advice already given about things to attend in person, I know a lot of my kink friends use ok Cupid as apparently it's pretty kink and non-monogamy friendly in the way it works. I haven't used it myself so I can't really comment on it beyond that it's popular with kinksters."
I loved the ok cupid app. It has some specific questions about swinging and non monogamy. You can search people based on how they have answered these questions. But number of people who have answered in favour of it is very less. Most accounts are inactive. Will give it a shot again after some days. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We met at a fetish social, first date was the BBB in Birmingham and then we worked the vanilla stuff back from there, now over 4 years on and amazingly happy, so yes, get yourself out there.;)"
Feels nice to hear such things. Happy for you two. I will start going out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,
I am divorced and I took some time to understand what I really want, out of my next relationship. I went around, attending parties, meeting people and having my share of fun.
I have realised that a purely vanilla relationship is not for me. And I don't want to do NSA meet-ups anymore. I am looking for something serious. I want someone with whom I share an connection both on and off the bed. Someone who shares similar desires in swinging and kink as me and is also a partner to me outside of that. How do I go about it?
It would be weird to talk about swinging and kink in dating sites. I see many swinging couples here. It would be nice to know how you ended up together Did you guys know about each other's desires before you started a relationship? Or did you talk about it after that? Any pointers on how to go about it would be helpful."
We met on here OP!
Neither of us were looking for anything serious and we both feel that's the best way to approach something new. Just keep an open mind and enjoy meeting people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be open, I never knew swinging sites existed before I met my wife, nor did she. But she is Bi, and was reluctant to get involved and give that side up completely so we found swinging together. Been married 14 years now and swinging for 15. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi,
I am divorced and I took some time to understand what I really want, out of my next relationship. I went around, attending parties, meeting people and having my share of fun.
I have realised that a purely vanilla relationship is not for me. And I don't want to do NSA meet-ups anymore. I am looking for something serious. I want someone with whom I share an connection both on and off the bed. Someone who shares similar desires in swinging and kink as me and is also a partner to me outside of that. How do I go about it?
It would be weird to talk about swinging and kink in dating sites. I see many swinging couples here. It would be nice to know how you ended up together Did you guys know about each other's desires before you started a relationship? Or did you talk about it after that? Any pointers on how to go about it would be helpful.
We met on here OP!
Neither of us were looking for anything serious and we both feel that's the best way to approach something new. Just keep an open mind and enjoy meeting people "
Point noted. Socialising is key. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just be open, I never knew swinging sites existed before I met my wife, nor did she. But she is Bi, and was reluctant to get involved and give that side up completely so we found swinging together. Been married 14 years now and swinging for 15."
Yeah. The internet has made things easier for people. Couldn't even imagine how hard it was, before that. Happy for you |
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I met my partner in a club, we have been together for 16 months & we swing as a couple very successfully. We also have a lot of our social life based in the swinging scene too
Get out to clubs, socials & munches and meet people!
Good luck OP! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met my partner in a club, we have been together for 16 months & we swing as a couple very successfully. We also have a lot of our social life based in the swinging scene too
Get out to clubs, socials & munches and meet people!
Good luck OP! "
That seems to be the common consensus. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ordinary dating sites are full of men using it for just a fuck but their not honest about it at least with FAB everyone knows what to expect. In the past I’ve met far more respectable guys on here than a ordinary dating sites... I’d much rather meet a bloke for a relationship on here or at a club than POF I’m not ready for vanilla just yet... oh and I tried to introduce a vanilla boyfriend to the scene, it went tits up!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ordinary dating sites are full of men using it for just a fuck but their not honest about it at least with FAB everyone knows what to expect. In the past I’ve met far more respectable guys on here than a ordinary dating sites... I’d much rather meet a bloke for a relationship on here or at a club than POF I’m not ready for vanilla just yet... oh and I tried to introduce a vanilla boyfriend to the scene, it went tits up!!! "
Once you enter this lifestyle, there is no going back I guess. |
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