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Menopause
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi Peeps, my partner who is 50 has been menopausal for about 12 months now. It’s really upsetting her as her libido has all but disappeared, gained weight, feels crap and all the other head fuck symptoms as well. It’s really pissing her off now, she’s been the docs, seen so called ‘experts’ but they’ve been no help at all. She doesn’t want to take HRT as her Mum had breast cancer.
Any other ladies out there who have been through the same and have come out the other side? Will she ever feel herself again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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HRT is the answer. The breast cancer risk is actual very minimal, the past studies were grossly flawed. HRT is likely the only thing that will help her feel normal again. People used to die in their 40's and hormones drop for both men and women. Now that we live well into our 80's or 90's, HRT for both men and women can be highly beneficial (testosterone for men).
New studies: "taking combined HRT (oestrogen and progestogen) is associated with a small increased risk of breast cancer – some studies have suggested that for every 1,000 women taking combined HRT, there will be around 5 extra cases of breast cancer (from a normal risk of 22 cases of breast cancer per 1,000 menopausal women to 27)"
So in other words, from a normal risk of 22/1000 women to 27/1,000 women.
Balance that against no libido, wrinkles (oestrogen is the "youth" hormone), weight gain and the head fuckery she is suffering . . . for me it's no contest. Vixen x |
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Thankfully my symptoms up to now aren't that bad fingers crossed that doesn't change. I don't have a partner so I suppose in one respect that could be easier than if I had. It's not a problem if I have no libido or I'm emotionally feeling crap as least I'm not affecting anyone else,I can just stew at home by myself.
A doctor once said to me that in medical school they're now advising women to just 'go with it',I would hope that hugely depend on how bad it is for the woman.
I haven't a clue what to suggest especially if she's been to see a specialist already,I find exercise and a good diet helps with the energy side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well you do get through it and come out the other end but can take time. I didn't take HRT but I think it's probably worth it if you're impatient or the symptoms are really annoying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HRT is the answer. The breast cancer risk is actual very minimal, the past studies were grossly flawed. HRT is likely the only thing that will help her feel normal again. People used to die in their 40's and hormones drop for both men and women. Now that we live well into our 80's or 90's, HRT for both men and women can be highly beneficial (testosterone for men).
New studies: "taking combined HRT (oestrogen and progestogen) is associated with a small increased risk of breast cancer – some studies have suggested that for every 1,000 women taking combined HRT, there will be around 5 extra cases of breast cancer (from a normal risk of 22 cases of breast cancer per 1,000 menopausal women to 27)"
So in other words, from a normal risk of 22/1000 women to 27/1,000 women.
Balance that against no libido, wrinkles (oestrogen is the "youth" hormone), weight gain and the head fuckery she is suffering . . . for me it's no contest. Vixen x"
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I really feel for her being in the middle of menopause myself. Fortunately my libido is unaffected. However I've got plenty other symptoms.
Black Cohosh from health shops is worth a try but HRT has really worked for me.
Good luck! |
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I’m 59 and mine have have not stopped. I’ve gone sown the homeopathic route just started using magnesium spray the last week before bed and last night I slep the whole night feel like a new woman today . I’ve not lost my sexual appetite in fact it’s increased .... but it’s given me migraines instead though I’m hoping this magnesium can help ... lots of natural remedies out there I take sage for hot flushes and supplements for joint pain and added iron .... Today I feel like I’m back again !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm going through a surgical menopause and can honestly say it's stripped me of my former self.
It's horrible and the worse thing is, you have no control.
Don't even get me started on brain fog!!
I tried to go without HRT but couldn't deal with the lack of oestrogen, so tried the patches.... They did make a difference... However just been told to come off them because they might be the cause of my high BP.
My advice is get your wife to speak to her GP, she's not alone and the menopause is not a one size fits all
HRT is better now than "back in the day" and risks are fewer.
I had cancer and even my consultant recommended HRT.
If you or your wife want to chat then feel free to contact me.
As for yourself... Patience and understanding is required. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m 59 and mine have have not stopped. I’ve gone sown the homeopathic route just started using magnesium spray the last week before bed and last night I slep the whole night feel like a new woman today . I’ve not lost my sexual appetite in fact it’s increased .... but it’s given me migraines instead though I’m hoping this magnesium can help ... lots of natural remedies out there I take sage for hot flushes and supplements for joint pain and added iron .... Today I feel like I’m back again !!!"
That's great to hear xxxx
Long may it last |
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"I’m 59 and mine have have not stopped. I’ve gone sown the homeopathic route just started using magnesium spray the last week before bed and last night I slep the whole night feel like a new woman today . I’ve not lost my sexual appetite in fact it’s increased .... but it’s given me migraines instead though I’m hoping this magnesium can help ... lots of natural remedies out there I take sage for hot flushes and supplements for joint pain and added iron .... Today I feel like I’m back again !!!"
Which magnesium are you using I'd love to have a good night's sleep again? |
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"It’s a spray I got from Amazon been using a week and last night I slept from 11pm till 6pm straight through not done that in 4yrs will send you name when I get home from work tonight x"
Great thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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theres a magnet some women swear by. it attaches to your underwear its about £35 in Boots
ive not tried it personally.
im no good with HRT tried so many different ones and none suited me
im just going with it. worst symptom for me at the moment is migraines |
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By *arshellCouple
over a year ago
Mansfield |
She needs to get to her GP...any medical professional worth their salt will refer her for a BRCA test to assess her genetic predisposition to breast and ovarian cancer. If there's no predisposition then she should ask for HRT.
I've been post (medical) menopausal for 4 years now and it sucks. I can't have HRT because I had breast cancer and although my libido isn't affected I have all of the other 'side effects' Cancer is survivable so shouldn't necessarily be feared. (I know that's controversial)
Not wishing to sound too judgemental OP, but does she know that you are on this site? If she does, doesn't, or even suspects please be mindful that it could be affecting her psychologically.
It's important for her to remember that she isn't alone, there are hundreds of thousands of women going through this. |
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I’ve taken black cohosh and sage, helped for a while but then stopped working.
I’m not having HRT as even the smallest risk of cancer is a risk.
I’m just doing what my mum did and not moaning but just getting on with it!
I have a remote control fan at my bed side for hot flushes and one at work!
Just make sure you support her OP and not do what my horrible ex did and abandon me!!!
Good luck
Bhubaysi x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a side note the mrs has been recommended the mirena coil may help as it has progestogen built in and will help stop her periods as there all over the place due to menopause. She is concerned it will affect her libido though does anyone have any experience in this and offer some advise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a side note the mrs has been recommended the mirena coil may help as it has progestogen built in and will help stop her periods as there all over the place due to menopause. She is concerned it will affect her libido though does anyone have any experience in this and offer some advise."
The mirena absolutely killed my libido - when I had it removed (after a year) libido returned. Not much point having a coil when I didn't want sex  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm having a hell of a time got every symptom going, libido has well & truly gone out the window but don't want to go on hrt. I went to the doctor she put my antidepressant up which has helped with the flushes & I buy wilkinson's own menopause tablets, not sure if that will help anyone else but it works for me at the moment x |
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"Hi Peeps, my partner who is 50 has been menopausal for about 12 months now. It’s really upsetting her as her libido has all but disappeared, gained weight, feels crap and all the other head fuck symptoms as well. It’s really pissing her off now, she’s been the docs, seen so called ‘experts’ but they’ve been no help at all. She doesn’t want to take HRT as her Mum had breast cancer.
Any other ladies out there who have been through the same and have come out the other side? Will she ever feel herself again?"
My answer was HRT I’m afraid. If she’s not happy with what her doctor has said then request another doctor to get a different opinion x all the best and I really feel for you both x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Peeps, my partner who is 50 has been menopausal for about 12 months now. It’s really upsetting her as her libido has all but disappeared, gained weight, feels crap and all the other head fuck symptoms as well. It’s really pissing her off now, she’s been the docs, seen so called ‘experts’ but they’ve been no help at all. She doesn’t want to take HRT as her Mum had breast cancer.
Any other ladies out there who have been through the same and have come out the other side? Will she ever feel herself again?"
St John's wart was my saving grace. If you can't take that, the B complex vitamins. Also Sage vitamins for the sweats. All tried and tested after two months didn't need to take them anymore. Now, If my mood is low before my period. I always take B vits for two weeks before the menstrual cycle. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
I have a mirena coil, coupled with estrogen only tablets. I'm on my 4th month of taking them now and feel 100% better. My symptoms have gone completely. No more migraines, sleepless nights, hot flushes, feeling exhausted, depressed or night sweats. HRT has given me a new lease of life! Worth your wife at least discussing it with your GP. The risks are minimal nowadays. |
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I have only had two periods this year so hoping my peri menopause is going to be full menopause soon.
Brain fog, lack of energy, the two things I have suffered with so I have been lucky. Sex drive through the roof for about 18 months now since periods started becoming irregular and less often.
I don't take anything, but I'm scared of doctors so didn't go ask.
OP just keep supporting her..menopause is normal and natural but the symptoms can be debilitating. I hope things improve for her. |
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One of my friends took HRT for the menopause.
It caused excess coagulation of her blood.
Stopped half her heart, luckily she survived, they removed the HRT and she is now on blood thinners to avoid the clotting returning.
Killed her libido stone dead though. At least she is alive.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of my friends took HRT for the menopause.
It caused excess coagulation of her blood.
Stopped half her heart, luckily she survived, they removed the HRT and she is now on blood thinners to avoid the clotting returning.
Killed her libido stone dead though. At least she is alive.
"
Oh that is awful thank god your friend is still here. |
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"theres a magnet some women swear by. it attaches to your underwear its about £35 in Boots
ive not tried it personally.
im no good with HRT tried so many different ones and none suited me
im just going with it. worst symptom for me at the moment is migraines"
I know someone who uses this very good but keep checking where it is. She went into a meeting had some strange looks looked down and a stapler was attached |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, HRT is not the answer or even an option. I know of 2 people who had HRT which in turn contributed heavily to them both being diagnosed with endometrial cancer. One of them died after 7 years slowly deteriorating (I was directly related to her and nursed her til the end), the other is still with us but has been through intensive gruelling treatment and is now dealing with long term side effects.
In short would not touch HRT under any circumstance, but that's just my opinion. So far I going down the therapy and supplement route. It's been a couple of years so far so we'll see how it pans out.
I hope you find a solution that suits and helps you whatever it may be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great to see so much female solidarity ..... and interesting to read. I’m only 48 and haven’t had a period for 2 yrs, I’ve gained weight and my skin is changing. I had a few months of hot flushes and my sleep pattern is shot and I sleep in a summer quilt all year with a fan on and cool packs on my pillow ..... I keep wondering ..... have I cracked this or is the worst to come??? xx |
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"Great to see so much female solidarity ..... and interesting to read. I’m only 48 and haven’t had a period for 2 yrs, I’ve gained weight and my skin is changing. I had a few months of hot flushes and my sleep pattern is shot and I sleep in a summer quilt all year with a fan on and cool packs on my pillow ..... I keep wondering ..... have I cracked this or is the worst to come??? xx"
Depends! You could be lucky  fingers crossed
X |
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Wasn't expecting to see this topic but its good to see and read, shared experiences and advice. Anyone on Fb, they have some really good support groups....im peri, lots of symptoms but not involved gp yet, worse thing is mother nature fukin around with ya, am you or arnt you and not in a good way lol...Rosie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just started hrt but trying it for 3 months first . Dr did ask me lots of questions about family medical history . Funnily the symptoms i told her im suffering with are the side effects of the tablet . I did ask for patches but they are in very short supply.
I have been taking Menopace for nearly two years but it wasnt helping with a lot of things . Not sleeping . No sex drive at all . Headaches in the morning and real brain fog and no concentration . I hardly suffer with hot flushes . We are all different and if this doesnt pick me up i shall try something else . |
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HRT also gives some bone health protection, especially if you're on the early side of going through it. Bone density decreases after menopause, and HRT and calcium supplements really slow that decrease rate down.
And nobody wants to leave a club in an ambulance cos you've broken your hip! |
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"I tried HRT but had rapid weight gain. I’m coping with just Black Cohosh, it’s taken the edge off my symptoms
I’d recommend giving it a try "
Agree taking it myself and it helps a lot...but do have brain fade still..lol |
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By *zamiWoman
over a year ago
LONDON |
"Hi Peeps, my partner who is 50 has been menopausal for about 12 months now. It’s really upsetting her as her libido has all but disappeared, gained weight, feels crap and all the other head fuck symptoms as well. It’s really pissing her off now, she’s been the docs, seen so called ‘experts’ but they’ve been no help at all. She doesn’t want to take HRT as her Mum had breast cancer.
Any other ladies out there who have been through the same and have come out the other side? Will she ever feel herself again?"
HRT is the answer. Nothing else works. There is a small increase in breast cancer. But it was hell!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s very confusing ..... when are you officially ‘ through it’ ? Xx"
my understanding was until you'd not had a period for a year
until then its classed as peri menopause
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't speak for many as I haven't started the menopausal stage yet but from many of friends that have have all taken hrt with lots of side affects
My mum on the other hand went through the menopause taking vitamins as she didn't want to take hrt and it worked wonders I think I will be trying this route as I don't think I could cope with all the side effects of hrt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't speak for many as I haven't started the menopausal stage yet but from many of friends that have have all taken hrt with lots of side affects
My mum on the other hand went through the menopause taking vitamins as she didn't want to take hrt and it worked wonders I think I will be trying this route as I don't think I could cope with all the side effects of hrt "
I have no side effects from HRT. Plus its stopped all the awful effects of the menopause .... its a wonderful drug and saved my life literally |
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"I can't speak for many as I haven't started the menopausal stage yet but from many of friends that have have all taken hrt with lots of side affects
My mum on the other hand went through the menopause taking vitamins as she didn't want to take hrt and it worked wonders I think I will be trying this route as I don't think I could cope with all the side effects of hrt "
The thing is that every woman has a different experience of menopause. What worked for your mother and her symptoms won't necessarily work for everyone. |
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