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Moving relationship up to next levelx
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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago
Nearly |
I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun  Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? |
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"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "
To be honest..l would follow your gut feeling. Look at his from his perspective. Hes on a sex site, hes managed to meet a gorgeous stunning lady to have meets with. Hes getting a lot of play...why would he change that??....but l could be wrong, and he is ready to "go steady". The real test l think is..is he happy to date you and leave the swinging behind?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "
Is he someone you meet just for sex. Or do you go out at other times too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a male perspective, sex is part of the package so yes he is with you in part due to it. Since you do other things then i guess he likes you. Perhaps slow down the swinging to see if you are enough for him on your own. If it works out then perhaps add in swinging again in future. |
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Lots of talking needed,to communicate what you both want from this.
Why not hide your profiles and concentrate on you for a while,i met Jack my partner here almost 4 years ago and we took time out ,got to know each other then came back to swing as a couple.
Good luck |
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I would probably trust your instinct on this. Life doesn't always throw us an ideal situation. So I guess what you got to ask is do you settle for this as it's sounds like you enjoy many aspects of what you have, it'll just never fit your ideal? Or do look for a more ideal matching in every sense that gives you the true partnership and support you need?
If it helps I found my everything on FAB. So it is possible to find it. |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
It sounds as though you are only swinging to please him. Is this the case?
If so I doubt he is “the perfect man” for you.
Basically though if you want something in life you have to ask. You might not get the answer you want, but at least you will be able to move on and eventually you will find what you are after |
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When we're progressing in getting to know someone, it's natural to be uncertain, as there are levels of trust and much that we don't know. Some things can be uncertain because one or both haven't taken decisions yet about what they want, are maybe willing to give up or invest in the other person. We'll all remember the times when we're not clear about something and the difference to when we've decided and committed - the floodgates are opened, there can be no stopping us.
It's right that we each move at a pace that we're comfortable with in a relationship. Too slow or fast can mean someone loses interest and detaches.
The big issue for all relationships can be silence. Silence, where things are not discussed, can lead to secrets, such as secret inner worlds of desires, plans or behaviour. We usually feel closer when we don't really hold important decisions around ourselves and the relationship from our partners.
Communication is the way to open up as well as discover. Just as anxiety or fear of events is usually worse than the real thing, so too can be our uncertainties over partners interests. Go at your own pace as well as what seems right for them. Discuss potential options and what you'd like. Your thoughts about his motivation may or may not be right but you both may now also like to adjust, so you're mutually gaining more of what's good for you. |
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"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "
Perhaps consider that he may well feel like all of his Christmas’s have come at once meeting you. You’re attractive and he also gets to play here & there. If I were single and met someone who was open to the idea of playing I know for a fact I’d be a right pain in the arse trying to do everything that appealed to me NOW! My wife & I are as solid as I suppose you can be but we have a young family & our playing times are few and far between. When we do get a free evening of course I want to play - occasionally she’ll say to me “have you ever considered that maybe just me & you could spend the night away?”. It’s just good communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "
What kind of stability do you want?
What makes you think he's using you for sex? |
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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago
Nearly |
"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions?
What kind of stability do you want?
What makes you think he's using you for sex?"
I am thinking of committed relationships. Just tired of being seeing each other like teenagers. |
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By *ighorn2006Man
over a year ago
Ceredigion / N France |
Really only you know and can read the situation, his feelings and about him but also look at it from his perspective too. He might be feeling the same ?
You don't say much about him, age, previous relationships, children, or how you met, etc.
Sex and intimacy is an important part of any relationship, you both seem to be having a great time and enjoying each other and others.
Talk about the future, be honest to each other.
If he doesn't want more and to progress (and many couples continue to swing it doesn't have to stop) then he's the wrong one and it's better to find out now rather than later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a man's perspective, I have been in a situation where I ended it with a friend with benefits, had fun and enjoyed the set up, but it started moving into the bf gf zone. I wasn't looking for a relationship, been burnt in past relationships and had a busy work and social life away from fab. The friend with benefits worked for me.
For a relationships there are other factors as well as good sex.
So you just need to ask him and be prepared for a no, or yes.
If it is is a no and a swinging relationship is what you want, there have been forums on here forpeople Looking g at proper relationships with swinging. You would find someone else easily. Wish you all of the best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions?
What kind of stability do you want?
What makes you think he's using you for sex?
I am thinking of committed relationships. Just tired of being seeing each other like teenagers. "
You need to have a chat and tell him what you are looking for out of the relationship. If he is not looking for the same you have to think about whether it is time to move on. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
The weekly shop, cleaning windows, hoovering, washing up, family get-togethers, putting the bins out, etc etc etc may change him from your perfect man to lazy oaf!
So be careful what you wish for . . .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "
Tell him you are ready to move the relationship on to the next level of commitment and ask how does he feel about it. It is the only way to find out. Sounds like you have reached a point in your own mind where it is time to move the relationship on or move on to someone else. |
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