FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No reply to messages
No reply to messages
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
FAQ state that a deleted message means not interested.
Some ladies on here get hundreds of messages a day. To reply to all of them is not possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just hang in m8 sometimes you have got to put a bit of banter and flirty sexy texts into the message. Maybe you are too nice. What kinda things are you saying in your messages |
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You can have a few of my messages each day if you want ? Most say how's you
What you upto
Fancy a fuck
Get so fed up replying to this sort I just bulk delete the lot ,I figure if someone is so interested they will get back in touch with more effort X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know you don't have to reply to messages or even read them, it is polite to reply back. And I understand that people will get more messages than others and it take most of there time to read and reply to them, Im happy if they read the message I send.
Advice is make sure your profile stands out from all the others |
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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago
East Northamptonshire |
Unfortunately for single ladies and couples there are often too many messages to be able to respond to all.
We try and be courteous and respond to those that have clearly read our profile, and have sent a picture and half thought out message. Others that send no picture or are clearly what we say S is NOT into, we basically now take a sterner line of 'if you be bothered to read the profile then we cant be bothered to respond'.
We often find ourselves very busy and struggling enough just to discuss messages and go through them, then find time to talk to the ones that are prospective playmates.
I also can see that from a guys perspective it's a case of how many messages do you send to get a response. It is a numbers game here in many ways, and it's about odds of you finding someone attractive, sending an acceptable message and them finding you attractive enough to respond initially.
As the male half I am all too aware that its the female who brings the attention and most of that is based on visual attraction from other men. I often find other ladies visually attractive but then read the profile to find that other preferences dont align, such as them being smokers or looking for bi couples etc. It is hard to get that two way, three way or four way interest started and the hardest for single guys (no pun intended) as they are going through the site seeing a lot of sexy ladies they like the look of.
Social meets and club visits are another way, or simply just persevere as it's not just an instant result, unless you meet many ladies desires of a handsome muscular guy with a six pack. |
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"You can have a few of my messages each day if you want ? Most say how's you
What you upto
Fancy a fuck
Get so fed up replying to this sort I just bulk delete the lot ,I figure if someone is so interested they will get back in touch with more effort X "
To be fair if I sent a couple or single female a message and saw it got deleted I wouldn't be trying to message again. As has been mentioned in previous replies and the FAQ a delete means not interested.
I'd move on. Although I don't tend to bulk message. I'm happy only sending one or two messages a month to profiles that I find genuinely appealing.
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
If they are not interested why do you want a reply? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I posted the below in a similar thread but it also applies here.
Couples or even worse a single woman having to respond to literally 100s of unsolicited messages every single day would cost a significant chunk of somebody's time and I like many people place a high value on the limited free time I get in life.
Do you reply to every piece of junk mail that comes through your letter box?
If you read the fab website guidelines it actually explains the sheer volume of messages certain groups receive means that no reply should be taken as a polite no thank you.
We were replying for a bit to those who had bothered to read our profile and sent a personalized message but even doing that seemed to open the door to people asking why not, sending abuse even begging. We messaged back 1 guy who was 5 years out of our age range to politely decline only for him to then kick off that one of our veris was from a 49 year old! (Our age range is upto 50) The 49 year old was a lovely lady we met at a house party who didn't look a day over 40 and obviously we didn't know her age until after. In the end I had to say look my wife isn't interested in sleeping with men older than her father it's her preference please respect it.
The fact that he tried to use our verifications to make his case just highlights the can of worms replying to someone you have no interest in can be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are going to get rejected a thousand times over, some without being given a chance... Tha is life.
You aren't going to be everyones cup of tea, so learn to accept rejection gracefully and be patient! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be polite and don't worry about it. For the many that get deleted you will get a response. It's the way the site works. It pays to have a thick skin lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
What do you want? you send out 100 messages and get 100 replies back saying they don't find you 1 bit attractive?
Why not forget messaging people and let them make first contact!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
this is a common criticism and the stock answer is no reply no interest unfortunately, just keep plugging away, someone for everyone here  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Spend a week replying to all the spam in your email inbox and do the same with every flyer or piece of junk mail that comes through your letterbox. Lots of other threads on this subject, try reading them, the answers are all out there. Since I've stopped answering messages that I'm not interested in or the ones that have blatantly ignored my profile I'm happy to report the level of abuse has dropped dramatically. By not answering it also doesn't allow then to start asking why not or trying to change my mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy
What do you want? you send out 100 messages and get 100 replies back saying they don't find you 1 bit attractive?
This has been more successful for me lately, not sure why but long may it continue lol
Why not forget messaging people and let them make first contact! "
This has been more successful for me lately, not sure why but long may it continue lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
Dead right. Doesn't seem to apply online though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody is obliged to reply to you.
The sooner you start to realise that and go with the flow on here, the better it will be for you.  "
The man wasn't suggesting that anyone is obliged to reply. Just that it would be common courtesy so to do.
That seems to be an alien concept to most members, however.
At least a deleted message is some kind of signal I suppose.
And this idea of accepting the status quo and going with the flow is just the mentality that kept women out of golf clubs and such for so long. Just because it is, doesn't mean it's right.
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
Are you going to respond individually to every comment on this thread? |
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By *y93Man
over a year ago
London |
There's nothing to do with common courtesy, your message was unsolicited, and the receiver has total right to choose to ignore, reply or delete. Its nice if they do with a 'no thanks' but personally I don't hold it against anyone if they do not respond, its their call. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Nobody is obliged to reply to you.
The sooner you start to realise that and go with the flow on here, the better it will be for you.
The man wasn't suggesting that anyone is obliged to reply. Just that it would be common courtesy so to do.
That seems to be an alien concept to most members, however.
At least a deleted message is some kind of signal I suppose.
And this idea of accepting the status quo and going with the flow is just the mentality that kept women out of golf clubs and such for so long. Just because it is, doesn't mean it's right.
"
It is in the site FAQ, no reply means no thankyou. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol. "
is your foof remote controlled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s because they feel they can do better.
How do you know that? Do you read the minds of everyone he messaged? "
Because you wouldn’t delete without a reply to someone that interests you. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol. is your foof remote controlled "
It's the official fab measuring device, I'm merely demonstrating it's usage. *Other remote devices are available.* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reckon I get about 70% replies when I choose to email, I don’t get hung up about the 30% delete rate. I write quite a long message, always based and mentioning things from the lady’s profile, always finish with a question and always attach face and body pics.
It shows effort, and is always appreciated. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"It’s because they feel they can do better.
How do you know that? Do you read the minds of everyone he messaged?
Because you wouldn’t delete without a reply to someone that interests you. "
That doesn't mean they feel they can do better.
They could not be meeting right now, he might have sent a crap message, might not have included a face pic, it could be any number of reasons. |
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"It’s because they feel they can do better.
How do you know that? Do you read the minds of everyone he messaged?
Because you wouldn’t delete without a reply to someone that interests you. "
That's not how I operate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have this huge problem of men giving me abuse atm,I get hundreds of blokes in boxing me daily.if I open a message to can eye jiz ovea that tit's.or even are you on ya period can I lick you out,no its a straight block,they is no way I can reply to everyone.and I've tried so by time am said a fews sorry not for me but happy fab bing.,they then still message me with why not tho.it's my fab account I don't have to explain myself to no one.plus if I don't reply back then sorry but it's a no from me.also to add am a women and sometimes men don't get back to me.I don't cry about it,I move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering what's the point sending messages only to see them read deleted and not bother to reply to them a simple thx but no thx common courtesy "
There's no point whatsoever,maybe stop sending messages, that'll teach them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol. "
Exactly they simply don't get it unfortunately. What you are saying is bang on.
My spare time is very limited due to work, family and a terminal ill father. I and my wife don't have the time to set aside every day to reply to 100s of messages that we have no interest in...sorry it's just that simple.
Even now though we still make an effort to try and reply to those few who have been polite, respectful, have clearly read our profile and sent us a message that has taken some thought and is specific to us.
Sadly that's not a high percentage maybe 5 to 10% tops.
KJ x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So a perfect example
Just been messaged by a single male looking for a kinky female.
I politely replied as per my profile I’m not looking for a single male but thank you and good luck
His reply was that he would worship me
My reply thanks but no thanks
Now apparently I’m a stuck up slag
That’s why people don’t reply |
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Unfortunately a polite thx but not thx will normally result in at least 3 or 4 extra messages from the sender, so most will just delete & block if they aren’t interested
Not nice but nor are the abusive messages you often get if you do reply saying no
MrsB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I find odd is you've messaged a woman who didn't asked you too, and yet you're on here moaning she didn't reply thanking you for it! .
Read profiles before time wasting women and yourself. Only message profiles whereas you match what she/they are looking for. And remember you aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. Bit arrogent to think otherwise just because you may match a woman's / couple's wishes.
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"Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol. is your foof remote controlled
It's the official fab measuring device, I'm merely demonstrating it's usage. *Other remote devices are available.*"
I only have an Apple TV remote. It's quite small but then again so am I....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I find odd is you've messaged a woman who didn't asked you too, and yet you're on here moaning she didn't reply thanking you for it! .
Read profiles before time wasting women and yourself. Only message profiles whereas you match what she/they are looking for. And remember you aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. Bit arrogent to think otherwise just because you may match a woman's / couple's wishes.
"
I might be wrong, but isn't a woman's presence on here generally to be taken as an indication that she wants to communicate with, and possibly meet, other people who might meet her requirements.
It's surely an open invitation to others to make contact, otherwise why be here? |
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I think the main thing most guys don't get when they say "I don't get why they don't reply" is they're thinking that most couples only get one or two messages a day. Ten on a good one evenly spaced.
Having been in a couple's account previously you can get ten to twenty per hour more so when you post a new picture or status update.
Replying to all those messages to just get more messages back often with is less time spent on productive things such as replying to decent messages, replying to forum or just living life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I find odd is you've messaged a woman who didn't asked you too, and yet you're on here moaning she didn't reply thanking you for it! .
Read profiles before time wasting women and yourself. Only message profiles whereas you match what she/they are looking for. And remember you aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. Bit arrogent to think otherwise just because you may match a woman's / couple's wishes.
I might be wrong, but isn't a woman's presence on here generally to be taken as an indication that she wants to communicate with, and possibly meet, other people who might meet her requirements.
It's surely an open invitation to others to make contact, otherwise why be here?"
In your words part of that “requirement” will be a physical attraction, will be based upon their pictures or their profile to see if they like what they’ve written. If they feel that’s not a match then is there a need to reply as already stated in the FAQ. You may, or may not, be surprised by how many people who have no pictures and either nothing or a one liner on their profile. Also how many people are sending a cut and paste message.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I find odd is you've messaged a woman who didn't asked you too, and yet you're on here moaning she didn't reply thanking you for it! .
Read profiles before time wasting women and yourself. Only message profiles whereas you match what she/they are looking for. And remember you aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. Bit arrogent to think otherwise just because you may match a woman's / couple's wishes.
I might be wrong, but isn't a woman's presence on here generally to be taken as an indication that she wants to communicate with, and possibly meet, other people who might meet her requirements.
It's surely an open invitation to others to make contact, otherwise why be here?"
No. Not every Woman on here is looking to meet. If they are, as I am, then we can message first to those who do fit our profiles etc.
If a woman wants to just chat, I'm sure she'll initiate that or have it clearly on her profile.
Or we can answer messages from men where it's obvious they have read our profiles first. |
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Its fab.....get used to it....most females get hundreds of messages and unfortunately some think they are supermodels because of it....and behave like Naomi Campbell...my advice ..stay polite and rise above the arrogance. |
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When we had single men unlocked, we used to get so many messages any time we were active or uploaded a new picture it became overwhelming to visit the site at all.
We felt bad not replying to each message, but any time we did, 5 more appeared.
Unfortunately this means the quality messages might get lost amongst the "fancy a fuck" and "ur hot" messages and get bulk deleted.
Hang in there, chap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So a perfect example
Just been messaged by a single male looking for a kinky female.
I politely replied as per my profile I’m not looking for a single male but thank you and good luck
His reply was that he would worship me
My reply thanks but no thanks
Now apparently I’m a stuck up slag
That’s why people don’t reply"
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"Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol.
Exactly they simply don't get it unfortunately. What you are saying is bang on.
My spare time is very limited due to work, family and a terminal ill father. I and my wife don't have the time to set aside every day to reply to 100s of messages that we have no interest in...sorry it's just that simple.
Even now though we still make an effort to try and reply to those few who have been polite, respectful, have clearly read our profile and sent us a message that has taken some thought and is specific to us.
Sadly that's not a high percentage maybe 5 to 10% tops.
KJ x "
Thing is, of that 5 to 10%, you still have to filter the ones that you're interested in too, right? That might be 20% of that 5%. So that's what 1% total?
Unfortunately it's a numbers game on that aspect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps we should all start replying to all the ppi, you've had an accident, sales of viagra.. Etc etc messages that are normally unsolicited spam in our email inboxes with no thanks if it's considered rude to not reply then. The OP himself hasn't replied to every post on his thread, neither have the other complainers lol. is your foof remote controlled
It's the official fab measuring device, I'm merely demonstrating it's usage. *Other remote devices are available.*"
really cycle helmet cam remote? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try reply to them takes all day also open to abuse and questions asking why etc it's easier to just ignore we know it's not polite but it's impossible to keep up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is.... a lot of men are very successful on this site, wonder why?
Six packs and big dicks?
That or they are good fun and have no hang ups."
Or even those successful men respect women enough to read what they're looking for first. Then only message women who's profile they match.
Or even the type of men who aren't arrogent and abusive. Don't need big dicks and 6packs to be successful on here. None of meets had those.
Men with respect and manners on here being the successful ones... who would of thought it hmmm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is.... a lot of men are very successful on this site, wonder why?
Six packs and big dicks?
That or they are good fun and have no hang ups.
Or even those successful men respect women enough to read what they're looking for first. Then only message women who's profile they match.
Or even the type of men who aren't arrogent and abusive. Don't need big dicks and 6packs to be successful on here. None of meets had those.
Men with respect and manners on here being the successful ones... who would of thought it hmmm "
Exactly!!
The successful guys are extremely respectful, acknowledge equally the husband and the wife, respect boundaries, are actually single, can accommodate are not shifty trying to be discrete / hide things.
You can tell they are genuine swingers who are into the lifestyle as they attend clubs, socials, house parties and not just a single guy trying to get laid. They come recommended as they have built up a genuine verification history.
Very importantly they have the right attitude!
The site doesn't owe them anything, they don't act entitled, no woe me pity posts etc they are confident in who they are without been arrogant.
Tbh I could go on and on but it's most definitely not just the big dick six packs who do well that's for sure.
KJ x |
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We try to respond to all messages if we can. As a couple we get a fair few (not as many as single females course)
To be honest it's just the polite thing to do, we always feel that we could be missing out on a perfect couple if we dont reply (basically they may be new or their profile indicates very little etc).
We met a fantastic couple this way. Not going to lie but the first couple of messages were basic and not much to them. After actually having a proper chat we had a social and meet... and oh god! It was the best meet.
I suppose the moral of the story is this:
Whilst on first glance many first messages are not the best, we find it best to chat a little more so we dont "judge a book by its cover" type of thing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I delete.
If the messager hasn’t read my profile for isn’t what I’m looking for then it’s best to move on.
Funny enough, one guy sent a unique message and I replied no thanks and it turned into more... maybe it’s the message, timing and something not quite measurable. Who knows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I delete.
If the messager hasn’t read my profile for isn’t what I’m looking for then it’s best to move on.
Funny enough, one guy sent a unique message and I replied no thanks and it turned into more... maybe it’s the message, timing and something not quite measurable. Who knows "
Ditto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have this huge problem of men giving me abuse atm,I get hundreds of blokes in boxing me daily.if I open a message to can eye jiz ovea that tit's.or even are you on ya period can I lick you out,no its a straight block,they is no way I can reply to everyone.and I've tried so by time am said a fews sorry not for me but happy fab bing.,they then still message me with why not tho.it's my fab account I don't have to explain myself to no one.plus if I don't reply back then sorry but it's a no from me.also to add am a women and sometimes men don't get back to me.I don't cry about it,I move on "
Yes I agree, if you dont get a response then you know not to peruse any further x |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"The thing is.... a lot of men are very successful on this site, wonder why?
Six packs and big dicks?
That or they are good fun and have no hang ups.
Or even those successful men respect women enough to read what they're looking for first. Then only message women who's profile they match.
Or even the type of men who aren't arrogent and abusive. Don't need big dicks and 6packs to be successful on here. None of meets had those.
Men with respect and manners on here being the successful ones... who would of thought it hmmm
Exactly!!
The successful guys are extremely respectful, acknowledge equally the husband and the wife, respect boundaries, are actually single, can accommodate are not shifty trying to be discrete / hide things.
You can tell they are genuine swingers who are into the lifestyle as they attend clubs, socials, house parties and not just a single guy trying to get laid. They come recommended as they have built up a genuine verification history.
Very importantly they have the right attitude!
The site doesn't owe them anything, they don't act entitled, no woe me pity posts etc they are confident in who they are without been arrogant.
Tbh I could go on and on but it's most definitely not just the big dick six packs who do well that's for sure.
KJ x "
Well said. |
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It's better to get a clear message that you're not matched ATM or never - the scenario you mention op - no reply and deleted, means just that in Fab. If you read the site FAQ and terms, it explains. Some people would know earlier, as they message unmatched people.
Cast your net wide. Put your best investment
S in your tools to sell yourself here - your profile, picking wisely, getting to know others at socials and the forum and ignoring those you have tried with, putting them out of your mind. It's no strings if you meet and absolutely nothing if you don't know each other. Keep your confidence high and don't rely on anything but your efforts and smart decisions. People look for men, so your profile is what will set you apart from others.
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"
I might be wrong, but isn't a woman's presence on here generally to be taken as an indication that she wants to communicate with, and possibly meet, other people who might meet her requirements.
It's surely an open invitation to others to make contact, otherwise why be here?"
You ARE wrong!
No OPEN invitation
Precisely why no one can waste my time with inane messages any longer. I will take the odd few rejections on the chin and make first contact.
So much more preferable than wading through hundreds of messages!!
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
When a man who has a decent informative profile with decent pictures, matches what I am looking for and intrigues me with his message, then and only then will I respond, the fact most men don't give a fucking shite or just out rights ignores what I am looking for, then no! They do not deserve any acknowledgement what so ever! |
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