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Introducing a *friend* into this.
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By *acho OP Couple
over a year ago
Gloucester |
We have a female friend who knows about our activity. She's really interested to explore more, and we wondered about inviting her along to a club (Chams), either the two of us or just with Mrs Nacho. We were wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation where you've invited an 'outsider' into this community, how this was approached, and what the consequences may have been. Has it wrecked the friendship ? Or their own relationship ? Do you share a 'knowing wink and smile' because of your shared dark secret ? Has it made your *friendship* stronger ? Are you now fuck buddies ? Thanks in advance !  |
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I've introduced a few here, and have invited one or two to a club, just to check it out.
So far, they all still claim to be interested, but not making any effort. As it's their life, they decide the pace.
Give the info, let them get there in their own time. |
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By *acho OP Couple
over a year ago
Gloucester |
"What are our motives ?" As in, do we want to play with / fuck her ? We probably do. But just as importantly, since she's expressed the interest, and we really appreciate the 'naked honesty' and sensuality and hedonism of swinging, we just want to allow her to experience this too. Obviously no-one knows how it will go either way, and it's very individual, but we were just wondering if there were any examples where this has happened and how it went. Such anecdotes might give us a clue as to how this might play out.... for better or for worse.... |
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By *acho OP Couple
over a year ago
Gloucester |
"is she single or playing away...... if playing away do you really want to facilitate cheating in a world/ lifestyle thats based on openess and honesty ? "
Very good point. We've been mulling over this one. She's expressed the interest, but we'd urge her to discuss it all with her partner. And then there's the issue of how you define 'cheating' if it's just NSA sex, or sex and (long-term) romance, or consensual NSA sex.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a good friend, joined her and her partner a couple of times then lost the friendship as couldn’t talk to her without her making it sexual etc and over time lost the friendship completely, so in my eyes if you value your friendship then keep it that way and don’t mix the 2 together |
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"is she single or playing away...... if playing away do you really want to facilitate cheating in a world/ lifestyle thats based on openess and honesty ?
Very good point. We've been mulling over this one. She's expressed the interest, but we'd urge her to discuss it all with her partner. And then there's the issue of how you define 'cheating' if it's just NSA sex, or sex and (long-term) romance, or consensual NSA sex...."
This makes me a bit  . You refer to naked honesty then start blurring the lines where definitions of cheating are concerned. In swinging naked honesty starts in your primary relationship.
If I was in your position I'd step back until she's sorted this with her partner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is she single or playing away...... if playing away do you really want to facilitate cheating in a world/ lifestyle thats based on openess and honesty ?
Very good point. We've been mulling over this one. She's expressed the interest, but we'd urge her to discuss it all with her partner. And then there's the issue of how you define 'cheating' if it's just NSA sex, or sex and (long-term) romance, or consensual NSA sex...."
Cheating is pretty simple to define its basically any contact from kissing onwards with another person without your partners knowledge or prior consent.
If your talking about potentially luring one half of a couple into to joining you both swinging and she partakes in any sexual activity without her partners full knowledge and consent then that's total wrong no matter how you cut it or dress it up.
As people said honesty, trust etc is central to swinging. We have a vanilla couple friend where just the female seemed to show an interest as they know what me and my wife do. We only ever discussed it with both of them and said they both would need to be on the same page before taking any steps.
Is her partner interested at all or does he know his partner is interested?
KJ x
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"I had a good friend, joined her and her partner a couple of times then lost the friendship as couldn’t talk to her without her making it sexual etc and over time lost the friendship completely, so in my eyes if you value your friendship then keep it that way and don’t mix the 2 together"
Thats good advice really good friends are harder to find than swinging partners so think twice before taking the next step as it could ruin a friendship. |
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By *hedireCouple
over a year ago
wigan |
The female's sister knew of our swinging and wanted to know and experience more. So we took her for her first club visit and she had more fun than we did. In fact next time she stays with us another visit is high on the agenda. Some may feel uncomfortable with this but it is about being open with frank discussion. Some are of a mindset to accept and understand. Some use swinging as an attempt to address deeper problems and they can't handle it. Others have curiosity. Wise to agree boundaries before exploration. |
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